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Old 12-25-2019, 12:31 PM
russian heel is online now
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Just accept the Christmas present and shut the fuck up


My evil sister in law (again). Her and her husband are the worst Christmas ingrates. Every year there seems to be a problem with one or more gifts from my mother in law forcing someone to take it back. The bad habit has now spread to their 5 kids.

My poor MIL, 75 and not in great health, this Christmas has made the horrible mistake of buying clothes for her grandchildren, now in their teens. It appears their parents habit of crushing my MIL dreams with gift rejections has been passed on down to them.

She committed the ultimate crime of buying a sweater for her oldest GC, only to be told she never wears sweaters. BIL was given two button up sweaters, one plum and one burgundy——-he announced he doesn’t need 2 the same color. A hoodie for the youngest is too big and he refuses to wear it even after reminders he’ll grow into it.

With each refusal she lets out a weak, defeated apology offering to give cash to the ingrate and to take it back. Gee that’s in the Spirit of Christmas. I have a better idea:

.
.
.
.

NO!!!! Here’s your fucking receipt YOU take it back!

Oh and guess what! From now on: LAME GIFT CARDS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!

Here’s an idea: you get 2 sweaters near the same color? WEAR THEM. They fucking fit. No one will care!

You don’t wear a sweater? Give it to a friend!

Your best won’t wear an oversized sweatshirt? Give it to his bigger brother!

Can’t you people see this is an older woman and it has become a hardship for her to buy gifts for your stupid fucking family? Do you realize it’s not going to get better? Has she bought me duds? Sure! You know what I do? I say THANK YOU and show appreciation for the thought. If it’s an article of clothing I can’t wear guess what? It either goes to Goodwill or maybe once or twice in the past 20 years I was able to take it back without a receipt without insulting anyone 3 seconds after getting it.

Don’t get me wrong: every once in a while we all get dud gifts. But this goes on MULTIPLE times, EVERY fucking year there’s at least two eggs with these fucking people and on top of it they have to announce it to everyone in the room that they don’t like the gift. They don’t even give MIL the dignity of taking her aside, privately, afterwards and letting her know the present is a problem.

Oh, btw thanks for the shitty fucking gift card every year. I’m sure that took as much effort and thought as a 75 year old trying to pick out shirts for your spoiled brats.


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Last edited by russian heel; 12-25-2019 at 12:35 PM.
  #2  
Old 12-25-2019, 12:53 PM
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You want to hear some REAL bitching next year? Have your MIL make individual donations--in each of their names--to the Humane Society or the March of Dimes or some similar charity. Hopefully, she can do that from her computer.
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Old 12-26-2019, 01:55 PM
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at some point she may have to accept it's not worth her time- nor is she obligated- to spend anything more on a bunch of spoiled, selfish shitheads. no matter how old or young they are.

if they're just going to bitch, then let them bitch about not getting anything and your MIL gets to keep her money and her stress levels down.
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Old 12-26-2019, 02:12 PM
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Like you said, I'd give them a bunch of gift cards (or maybe even generic Visa/MC cards so they can't complain about the store...or even just some cash). But, with that, if I heard another word, I'd just stop giving them anything at all. If they're going to be angry/annoyed no matter what they get, how much worse could it be if they get nothing instead.

Someone needs to, and probably has if they're like this to everyone, tell them to just smile and say thank you. No one cares if you throw away the sweater as soon as you get home, but you still have to at least pretend to like it until you leave the party.


Another idea you can do, is shoot them an email in November and ask for a list of gift ideas for everyone in the family. Pick something off the list and get it for them. If they act the same way about something you gave them that they picked out, then this isn't about the gifts, it goes deeper than that.
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Old 12-26-2019, 02:30 PM
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You should just stop talking to these people, period. Seems like you would be much happier.

Your sister is a piece of shit, and apparently so is her husband, and now their kids too. You feel bad for their MIL, and frankly I do too, but you're not related to her. Her choices. Not your problem.

And y'know just because you ARE related to someone doesn't mean you have any obligation to them whatsoever. Decent people everywhere agree that you didn't have any choice in the matter and you absolutely do not owe them anything just because you happened to emerge from the same womb.
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Old 12-26-2019, 02:37 PM
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I decided that I was only going to give cash to my nephews and niece. Maybe not as memorable as a onyx panther (thanks Auntie?) But a lot more useful.
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Old 12-26-2019, 02:47 PM
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Somebody does need to tell them to just smile, say thank you and either donate or regift - but if every year , there are at least two "duds" as you put it, maybe it's time for her to realize that she doesn't really know what they like/what size they wear/what they have already and either just give them gift cards or cash or ask for a wish list. Just because you think gift cards are lame doesn't mean the grandchildren will.
  #8  
Old 12-26-2019, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by russian heel View Post
She committed the ultimate crime of buying a sweater for her oldest GC, only to be told she never wears sweaters.
The first year of my marriage, my MIL gave me a sweater for xmas. I do not wear sweaters, but what are you going to do? I told her it was lovely and I put it in my closet.

The following year for xmas she got me a sweater again. Again, I thanked her and put it in my closet.

Rinse&repeat the next 13 years. She never saw me wearing a sweater, yet every year I got a sweater. They were all nice, expensive sweaters per my wife. I do not know what eventually became of the 15 new-in-box sweaters.
  #9  
Old 12-26-2019, 03:41 PM
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I used to get all jewelry from my grandma, every year. I'd wear it during the visit, then never wear them again. I love my grandma to death, and I will always appreciate the thought that goes into each gift, but I am simply not a jewelry person (and in her defense, she has little disposable income, and lives 5+ hours from me, so it's not like she has the opportunity to get a really good idea of what I want).

Every time I would smile, thank her genuinely, and wear the gift for that evening. It's important she know her gift is appreciated, even if it isn't what I'd pick out for myself. She's a sweet, generous woman and she deserves to feel (to KNOW that she is) appreciated.
  #10  
Old 12-26-2019, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by russian heel View Post
My evil sister in law (again). Her and her husband are the worst Christmas ingrates. Every year there seems to be a problem with one or more gifts from my mother in law forcing someone to take it back. The bad habit has now spread to their 5 kids.
"Hi. We thought we'd have a nice Christmas next year. Find someplace else to be."
  #11  
Old 12-26-2019, 04:35 PM
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When I was a kid, my mother would always say she didn't want anything for Christmas or birthdays, and if we did get her something, she would say, "I don't want this junk!" and throw it away by day's end, after criticizing our messy gift wrapping.

You said you didn't want anything, so we didn't get you anything, so what are you complaining about? And mommies do too get Christmas presents, even though you told us they don't.

I also remember one Mother's Day when I was about 12 years old when I overheard her say, "Other mothers get diamonds and furs, and all I get is a Girl Scout craft project." It wasn't like she was a diamonds-and-furs kind of person anyway, even if we could have afforded them and she had any use for them.

I started a thread about this a few years ago and it got locked.
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Old 12-26-2019, 04:53 PM
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I screwed up on my brother’s present. His daughter was doing last minute shopping at CVS while we waited in the car. (she went into to pick up a prescription, then texted us that she needed to buy gifts and we could come back for her. We told her we would wait.) My brother realized he actually needed something that could be found at a CVS, so a I pulled up link and texted it to his daughter, mostly to hurry her up. She bought the exact item and it ended up being wrong. But they worked it out, no drama.

I got a Bob Ross Chia head, probably better than anything else at CVS. But the last thing in the world I wanted. But I smiled and thanked my niece and even unwrapped it and watered its head. Because that’s how nice people react to gifts.

I gave out Amazon gift cards, easy and they package them nicely and deliver them at no extra charge. And I was very glad I did.
My nephew, a handsome 30 year old newlywed awaiting the birth of his first so , was very excited when he got his because he knew EXACTLY what he wanted. One of those toilet stools that lets you poop in a squatting position. Which was the very LAST thing in the universe I would’ve guessed. But something about pooping in the woods while camping and how everything slid out easier when you were in a more natural position. My family can be TMI.

Last edited by Ann Hedonia; 12-26-2019 at 04:54 PM.
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Old 12-26-2019, 04:55 PM
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"Hi. We thought we'd have a nice Christmas next year. Find someplace else to be."
"We Wish You Weren't Living With Us" - Bob Rivers and Twisted Radio
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Old 12-26-2019, 04:58 PM
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he knew EXACTLY what he wanted. One of those toilet stools that lets you poop in a squatting position. Which was the very LAST thing in the universe I would’ve guessed. But something about pooping in the woods while camping and how everything slid out easier when you were in a more natural position. My family can be TMI.
Hell, if I'd have known that in November, he could have had any two of ours. We used them for a week or so, and now they sit, unused, molded around the toilet's base.
  #15  
Old 12-26-2019, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by doreen View Post
Somebody does need to tell them to just smile, say thank you and either donate or regift - but if every year , there are at least two "duds" as you put it, maybe it's time for her to realize that she doesn't really know what they like/what size they wear/what they have already and either just give them gift cards or cash or ask for a wish list. Just because you think gift cards are lame doesn't mean the grandchildren will.
My kids and my nieces/nephews all ask for gift cards nowadays.
  #16  
Old 12-28-2019, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
You want to hear some REAL bitching next year? Have your MIL make individual donations--in each of their names--to the Humane Society or the March of Dimes or some similar charity. Hopefully, she can do that from her computer.
Oh, that would be perfect. I know people like that, always bitching and "exchanging/returning" shit back to the store.

I got sick of them, and from then on they got nothing.
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Old 12-28-2019, 09:49 PM
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Seriously, just fuck buying presents. It's the dumbest goddamn holiday tradition ever. Most of the presents I receive I never have a use for and I'm guessing it's the same for the presents that I give.

"But it's the thought that matters."

Yeah, but it's wasteful, so let's stop thinking about exchanging gifts that nobody gives a fuck about and let's just give each other money instead -- or just agree to not give each other shit and spend time together.
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Old 12-28-2019, 10:33 PM
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Drunk again, I see.
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Old 12-28-2019, 10:39 PM
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MIL kept buying me sweaters or shirts that I don't like (as in, a rugged flannel shirt but green with a teal snowflake pattern).

But all it took was one suggestion, and she's now including gift receipts. And I'm looking forward to another post-Christmas trip to REI or Filson to trade it for a shirt I'll actually wear.
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Old 12-29-2019, 09:02 AM
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Drunk again, I see.
But this morning he'll awaken, sober.

You?
  #21  
Old 12-29-2019, 09:31 AM
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Careful. You think Danky polices the trivial now, just wait until he's into his second Mike's Hard Lemonade and feeling mean. That boy can sniff out a typo like a truffle hog.
  #22  
Old 12-29-2019, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doreen View Post
Somebody does need to tell them to just smile, say thank you and either donate or regift - but if every year , there are at least two "duds" as you put it, maybe it's time for her to realize that she doesn't really know what they like/what size they wear/what they have already and either just give them gift cards or cash or ask for a wish list. Just because you think gift cards are lame doesn't mean the grandchildren will.
I'd argue that such is always expected. Grandparents always buy some clothes, and kids (including teens) never really appreciate them over the other, flashier gifts. It was just an expected part of the holiday for me growing up. It didn't mean my grandparents didn't know what I liked or enjoyed, or they wouldn't have also gotten me the things I wanted.

Sure, if those were the only gifts they got, I could see the issue. But the OP makes it sound like it's one or two of a bunch of gifts. And that's just expected. You get clothes that you don't like wearing? You can wear them around the house or when you visit or are visiting grandma. That's what I always did.

Plus, with clothes, there's always the risk that they won't fit, so you have a built-in reason to use a receipt. So, if you really must take it back, you can do so yourself.
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