Straight Dope Message Board

[lingyi]

Wondered if this was say guy and yep! Check out this other thread by the OP before you vote:

I'm not a stalker

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=855913

OP, cut it out! You're going to get a faceful of fist at best, dead at worst! 51

[lingyi]

There's also this thread:

Changing a tire on a locked car.....Alarm question

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=868970

52

[madmonk28]

All three of these events actually occurring sure seem unlikely. 53

[Emiliana]

His gym is a good deal more interactive than mine. 54

[panache45]

You've established a pattern of not respecting people's boundaries. And those are merely the times we know about. One of these days you're gonna wind up behind bars... and/or with a broken nose... or worse. 55

[Jackmannii]

The OP should make it up to this woman by breaking into her home when she's not there and cleaning up the place.

Don't forget the toilet paper roses.

One time we were living in a rented house with OCD neighbors. Came home one day to find the creepy female half* raking the few leaves scattered on our front lawn, to "prevent them from blowing over into our yard". We did not take kindly to this.

*the same woman was caught "picking up trash" under our bedroom window. 56

[guizot]

Originally Posted by Emiliana

His gym is a good deal more interactive than mine.

You just need to spend more time looking up tax assessment records. Consider it part of your work out. 57

[chela]

I say it was a nice gesture, a random act of kindness and you should not be run over hot coals for it either. But next time give a girl a heads up and ask if it's okay. Though good luck with that too as even asking something like that may put her on the defensive as she tries to quickly figure the pros and cons of agreeing to a favor by an gym acquaintance.

I use public records on a whim, i'm a little curious okay nosey like that and won't apologize for it either. 58

[UltraVires]

Originally Posted by Jackmannii

One time we were living in a rented house with OCD neighbors. Came home one day to find the creepy female half* raking the few leaves scattered on our front lawn, to "prevent them from blowing over into our yard". We did not take kindly to this.

I think that is much different. The neighbor lady was not being nice by raking your leaves. She was being a passive aggressive bitch and insulting you by saying that you didn't keep your yard tidy. That is much different than doing someone a favor. 59

[shh1313]

I'm a woman and if someone mowed my yard I would not be creeped out but greatful and I'd wonder who the thoughtful soul was that did it. 60

[lingyi]

Jealous husband/boyfriend comes home and sees freshly mowed lawn.

Asks wife/girlfriend who did it. She says she doesn't know.

He talks to neighbors thinking they might have done it. Told it was some guy they never saw before.

Fun ensues! 61

[Green Bean]

There was nothing “nice” about what you did.

What would have been nice would have been to say, “hey, I have some free time this Saturday, I’d be happy to take care of your lawn.” Then if she said yes, asked her directly for her address.

Instead:

You took away her freedom of choice. Her lawn. Her decision. She may have appreciated help, but an offer would have left her the option of declining.

You altered her property without her permission. She didn’t agree to have her grass mowed and had no opportunity to tell you if there was anything you needed to know before you did it.

You trespassed. This is a crime. You weren’t invited. You weren’t there for legitimate business purposes. You weren’t just running into her yard for a second to retrieve an errant ball. An unmowed lawn does not constitute an emergency. And you certainly weren’t there by accident.

You invaded her privacy. She never told you her last name or where she lived. The fact that you were able to obtain that information anyway doesn’t mean she wanted you to have it. She has no choice about appearing in the tax records, and the purpose of those tax records is not to give you a way to bypass a woman’s right to choose who she wants to have over to her home.

You already knew that looking for peoples’ personal information in tax records is over the line, and you chose to do it anyway. Even worse, you chose to ACT on that knowledge and show up at this poor woman’s house. How on earth did you think this was okay? 62

[Helena330]

Green Bean said it very well. What's scary is that some people in this thread don't understand this, and even defend what the OP did. NOPE. It was wrong and if the woman finds out about it, she'll be uncomfortable (or worse). Maybe even to the point of changing gyms. 63

[erysichthon]

Excellent post, Green Bean. 64

[TokyoBayer]

Originally Posted by chela

I use public records on a whim, i'm a little curious okay nosey like that and won't apologize for it either.

But do you drop by that person’s house? 65

[panache45]

OP: If you're free any time soon... wanna come over and mow our lawn? We don't have to know who you are. 66

[UltraVires]

Originally Posted by Green Bean

There was nothing “nice” about what you did.

What would have been nice would have been to say, “hey, I have some free time this Saturday, I’d be happy to take care of your lawn.” Then if she said yes, asked her directly for her address.

Instead:

You took away her freedom of choice. Her lawn. Her decision. She may have appreciated help, but an offer would have left her the option of declining.

You altered her property without her permission. She didn’t agree to have her grass mowed and had no opportunity to tell you if there was anything you needed to know before you did it.

You trespassed. This is a crime. You weren’t invited. You weren’t there for legitimate business purposes. You weren’t just running into her yard for a second to retrieve an errant ball. An unmowed lawn does not constitute an emergency. And you certainly weren’t there by accident.

You invaded her privacy. She never told you her last name or where she lived. The fact that you were able to obtain that information anyway doesn’t mean she wanted you to have it. She has no choice about appearing in the tax records, and the purpose of those tax records is not to give you a way to bypass a woman’s right to choose who she wants to have over to her home.

You already knew that looking for peoples’ personal information in tax records is over the line, and you chose to do it anyway. Even worse, you chose to ACT on that knowledge and show up at this poor woman’s house. How on earth did you think this was okay?

I don't think a person's name and address is information that is all that private. I'm sure anyone on here could find my name and address with very little effort. We (used) to have books that published this information along with phone numbers.

If your purpose in finding out that information is to come over and mow my grass, then more power to you. Hedges also need trimmed. 67

[Green Bean]

Originally Posted by panache45

OP: If you're free any time soon... wanna come over and mow our lawn? We don't have to know who you are.

Do I really have to point out that the fact that you’re INVITING him makes the situation entirely different?

And right or wrong, a man with a big buff husband to protect him is a lot less vulnerable than a presumably single woman. 68

[Green Bean]

Originally Posted by Helena330

It was wrong and if the woman finds out about it, she'll be uncomfortable (or worse). Maybe even to the point of changing gyms.

She should report him to the management so that HE would have to change. And he should be grateful if she doesn’t pursue it further.

But sadly it’s all too likely she won’t “want to make trouble,” especially after the OP makes her feel guilty about being upset.

Originally Posted by UltraVires

I don't think a person's name and address is information that is all that private. .... We (used) to have books that published this information along with phone numbers.

And we used to have the option of getting an unlisted number.

If your purpose in finding out that information is to come over and mow my grass, then more power to you. Hedges also need trimmed.

All the men saying crap like this need to shut the fuck up and consider this from a woman’s perspective. He did this to a woman, not a man. THINK before you post. Jesus. 69

[RobDog]

Originally Posted by lingyi

Jealous husband/boyfriend comes home and sees freshly mowed lawn.

Asks wife/girlfriend who did it. She says she doesn't know.

He talks to neighbors thinking they might have done it. Told it was some guy they never saw before.

Fun ensues!

Or, due to circumstances, you haven't been able to do that chore.

So you hire a contractor to come over and do it. He arrives and finds that what you hired him to do has already been done, so now you have to pay him for doing nothing, and in addition you look like an idiot.

Similar thing happened to me.

But yeah, other than that, what Green Bean said. 70

[Emiliana]

Originally Posted by Green Bean

All the men saying crap like this need to shut the fuck up and consider this from a woman’s perspective. He did this to a woman, not a man. THINK before you post. Jesus.

Seriously. 71

[LiveFree]

And here was her response. At least 6 times.


http://i68.tinypic.com/2m2xoaf.gif 72

[Green Bean]

Oh boy, you sure showed us!

In big letters, no less. .

Dude, you got lucky. Pray that she doesn’t rethink it.


Please answer this question: why didn’t you just offer? 73

[LiveFree]

Originally Posted by Green Bean

Oh boy, you sure showed us!

In big letters, no less. .

Dude, you got lucky. Pray that she doesn’t rethink it.


Please answer this question: why didn’t you just offer?

Because I wanted to surprise her. Someone will come up with a negative comment on that, I'm sure.

And, yeah, I may have gotten lucky. Lesson learned. 74

[lingyi]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

And here was her response. At least 6 times.


http://i68.tinypic.com/2m2xoaf.gif

Doesn't change the facts that Green Bean and others have posted about taking away her choice, altering her property, trespassing, invasion of privacy, et. al.

Keep on doing you "good deeds" and "not stalking" and we'll be waiting for your post about getting punched in the face or worse!

Even better, don't post about what you're doing as the overwhelming response and even your own request to delete this thread points to your knowing it's wrong! 75

[raventhief]

Interesting. 87.5% of current respondents, knowing only LiveFree's side of events indicate that they would be weirded out. One might assume that his version of things would be more complimentary toward him, and yet. . That is an overwhelmingly negative response.

But! Gymlady was effusive in her gratitude (6 times, huh?) 76

[Inigo Montoya]

OK, so I have a song for this as well. 77

[madmonk28]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

And here was her response. At least 6 times.


http://i68.tinypic.com/2m2xoaf.gif

Clearly this event happened. 78

[UltraVires]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

And here was her response. At least 6 times.


http://i68.tinypic.com/2m2xoaf.gif

I don't get anything when I click the link. Could you describe what it says? 79

[lingyi]

Originally Posted by raventhief

Interesting. 87.5% of current respondents, knowing only LiveFree's side of events indicate that they would be weirded out. One might assume that his version of things would be more complimentary toward him, and yet. . That is an overwhelmingly negative response.

But! Gymlady was effusive in her gratitude (6 times, huh?)

Probably would have been more lopsided if everyone read his other threads ("I'm not a stalker" and "Changing a tire on a locked car.....Alarm question") before voting! 80

[madmonk28]

Originally Posted by UltraVires

I don't get anything when I click the link. Could you describe what it says?

It’s a scrolling graphic of the words “Thank You.” 81

[not what you'd expect]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

And here was her response. At least 6 times.


http://i68.tinypic.com/2m2xoaf.gif

Well, she knows you know where she lives. I'd be nervous as hell about confronting you, so I'd probably thank you, but I'd start looking for a home alarm.


If you'd made the offer in person, I might have even offered you lunch in appreciation. Then maybe we could have become friends, but now, I'd be much less open to that. 82

[LiveFree]

Originally Posted by not what you'd expect

Well, she knows you know where she lives. I'd be nervous as hell about confronting you, so I'd probably thank you, but I'd start looking for a home alarm. If you'd made the offer in person, I might have even offered you lunch in appreciation. Then maybe we could have become friends, but now, I'd be much less open to that.

She's not nervous about confronting ANYONE. And we're already friends. She's bold and a straightforward lady.

Originally Posted by lingyi

Probably would have been more lopsided if everyone read his other threads ("I'm not a stalker" and "Changing a tire on a locked car.....Alarm question") before voting!

Hey lingyi, go fuck yourself.

Originally Posted by raventhief

Interesting. 87.5% of current respondents, knowing only LiveFree's side of events indicate that they would be weirded out. One might assume that his version of things would be more complimentary toward him, and yet. . That is an overwhelmingly negative response.

But! Gymlady was effusive in her gratitude (6 times, huh?)

Yes, definitely 6 times. 83

[Hilarity N. Suze]

Originally Posted by lingyi

Jealous husband/boyfriend comes home and sees freshly mowed lawn.

Asks wife/girlfriend who did it. She says she doesn't know.

He talks to neighbors thinking they might have done it. Told it was some guy they never saw before.

Fun ensues!

I'm just thinking Woody Harrelson in True Detective: "You don't mow another guy's lawn!" 84

[LiveFree]

Originally Posted by Hilarity N. Suze

I'm just thinking Woody Harrelson in True Detective: "You don't mow another guy's lawn!"

I'll make this more interesting.

First of all, she isn't married or have a boyfriend. And not that this matters, she's in her late fifties.


And to add more.....I've probably cut 25,000+ lawns in my lifetime. 85

[Green Bean]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

She's not nervous about confronting ANYONE. And we're already friends. She's bold and a straightforward lady.

Even bold and straightforward ladies who are not nervous about confronting people may choose not to confront someone if they feel that it is in their best interest not to do so.

It’s quite possible that she’s okay with what you did. It’s also quite possible that she is “managing” you for now.


BTW - What does her age have to do with anything? 86

[lingyi]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

She's not nervous about confronting ANYONE. And we're already friends. She's bold and a straightforward lady.



Hey lingyi, go fuck yourself.



Yes, definitely 6 times.

But, but, I just posted information that "available to the public!" 87

[LiveFree]

Originally Posted by lingyi

But, but, I just posted information that "available to the public!"

Good one. 88

[LiveFree]

Originally Posted by Green Bean

Even bold and straightforward ladies who are not nervous about confronting people may choose not to confront someone if they feel that it is in their best interest not to do so.

It’s quite possible that she’s okay with what you did. It’s also quite possible that she is “managing” you for now.


BTW - What does her age have to do with anything?

She was appreciative, no doubt in my mind. She doesn't mix words. Like I said, she is NOT afraid to confront anyone.

Age....I helped out an OLD lady. 89

[Dewey Finn]

Wait. "Late fifties" means old lady? I had no idea. 90

[LiveFree]

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn

Wait. "Late fifties" means old lady? I had no idea.

Thought I'd get someone's goat with that. :-) 91

[Dewey Finn]

So you're trolling here. 92

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

Age....I helped out an OLD lady.

What does that have to do with it? Old ladies don't get stalked?

So you got lucky this time. Point is, not EVERYONE would appreciate it. 93

[Hilarity N. Suze]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

I'll make this more interesting.

First of all, she isn't married or have a boyfriend. And not that this matters, she's in her late fifties.


And to add more.....I've probably cut 25,000+ lawns in my lifetime.

I don't see what any of that has to do with anything. Are you saying it's okay since no "guy" was involved? 94

[LiveFree]

Originally Posted by Hilarity N. Suze

I don't see what any of that has to do with anything. Are you saying it's okay since no "guy" was involved?

Absolutely not. I was ANSWERING someone's post. 95

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

And we're already friends.

Clearly.

Originally Posted by LiveFree

She doesn't mix words.

"Mince", the word is "mince". 96

[UltraVires]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

She was appreciative, no doubt in my mind. She doesn't mix words. Like I said, she is NOT afraid to confront anyone.

Age....I helped out an OLD lady.

Come on now. You can't tell me that you're not trying to hook up with this lady. I don't care her age, you want her, right? Just be honest. 97

[Blank Slate]

Originally Posted by LiveFree

I'll make this more interesting.

First of all, she isn't married or have a boyfriend. And not that this matters, she's in her late fifties.


And to add more.....I've probably cut 25,000+ lawns in my lifetime.

If you cut two lawns a day, every day of the year, it would take 34 years to cut 25,000 lawns. So who's older? You or the damsel in distress? 98

[engineer_comp_geek]

Moderator Warning

Originally Posted by LiveFree

Hey lingyi, go fuck yourself.

This wasn't even permitted in the Pit until recently. It's definitely not appropriate in this forum.

This is an official warning. 99

[engineer_comp_geek]

Moderator Note

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn

So you're trolling here.

Do not make accusations of trolling outside of the Pit. 100