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  #51  
Old 08-09-2019, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by asahi View Post
Actually, I became a fan of corn pizza. But canned tuna? Not so much.
You have to get it done right... best pizza I think I've ever had was a tuna and onion pizza at a little bar sort of place off the Via del Corso in Rome.
  #52  
Old 08-09-2019, 02:59 PM
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You have to get it done right... best pizza I think I've ever had was a tuna and onion pizza at a little bar sort of place off the Via del Corso in Rome.
tuna on a seafood pizza would be ok, I think, but not canned tuna.
  #53  
Old 08-09-2019, 03:09 PM
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Tuna and eggs on pizza in Germany too.
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Old 08-09-2019, 04:01 PM
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Tuna and eggs on pizza in Germany too.
All this talk of misplaced eggs reminds me of a meal on the Curry Mile in Manchester (UK), many years ago. I had a tandoori mixed grill, and that arrived with a fried egg on top. If it was fusion cuisine, it was a fusion of curry and full English breakfast.

Thing is, there's not a lot that's Indian about a tandoori mixed grill to begin with*, so I guess you would test the authenticity against the British dish. I still think it fails, but I'm not quite sure why.

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Last edited by Treppenwitz; 08-09-2019 at 04:04 PM.
  #55  
Old 08-09-2019, 04:09 PM
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A German restaurant in the US had currywurst on it's menu. I had images of hitting a shnellimbiss in Bavaria after a beer or two. What I got was essentially US grocery store brand bratwurst with a line of ketchup on top. There was some nominal curry powder sprinkled on top. It was almost impossible to taste though.
  #56  
Old 08-09-2019, 04:29 PM
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tuna on a seafood pizza would be ok, I think, but not canned tuna.
While it wasn't standard US chunk light tuna (that would be unappetizing), I'm pretty sure this was some kind of expensive canned tuna - maybe ventresca.
  #57  
Old 08-09-2019, 05:07 PM
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That sounds more like a 'The Onion' piece, than a 'The Onion' piece.

Holy hell. The proud ignorance of some.
Thing about my Uncle is that he is (well, was) well-traveled. He's gone to Singapore, Thailand, China, all over SE Asia and Oceana and Japan.... he knew (I assume) what local cuisine was like. His reaction was bizarre... until you know him personally and what an asshole he was.
  #58  
Old 08-09-2019, 05:42 PM
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Fiorentina pizzas have egg on them. I've also had capricciosa pizzas with egg.
  #59  
Old 08-10-2019, 12:27 AM
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While it wasn't standard US chunk light tuna (that would be unappetizing), I'm pretty sure this was some kind of expensive canned tuna - maybe ventresca.
Yeah, pizza al tonno e cipolla. I've only seen it with (olive-oil) canned tuna. It's perfectly fine. There's really nothing you can't put on a pizza.
  #60  
Old 08-10-2019, 12:49 AM
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I was visiting Akumal, Mexico several years ago and noticed a "steak sandwich" on the menu, so curiosity got the best of me and I ordered it. It was a large single piece of flank steak, served between two pieces of white bread. Well, they were technically correct.
"Steak sandwich" is such a vague term that you never know what you'll get, and there's many acceptable versions. The version sold under that name at the Brat House in Kenosha, for instance, isn't really that much different. Go a bit farther north to Sheboygan, and you get something that is more like a hamburger (might be some kind of pounded cube steak type of thing, but when I've eaten it, I really couldn't tell the difference between it and a hamburger.) In Chicago, if you're in an Italian neighborhood, it'll probably be breaded and served with cheese and red sauce. At a hot dog stand, it'll be a thin slice of ribeye or similar served on a hoagie-type roll with your usual hamburger toppings.

It's all over the map.
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Old 08-10-2019, 01:21 AM
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Iíve seen some very strange meals passed off as better cuisine.

A hamburger in Goa which was more like a Spam sandwich on white bread. Pork pizza with orange sauce sold at Marks and Spencerís in 1990 England. Vietnamese soup in Mexico, served with alfalfa sprouts and croutons.
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  #62  
Old 08-10-2019, 01:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Morbo View Post
I was visiting Akumal, Mexico several years ago and noticed a "steak sandwich" on the menu, so curiosity got the best of me and I ordered it. It was a large single piece of flank steak, served between two pieces of white bread. Well, they were technically correct.
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Cheesesteaks do not work that way
Morbo's sign didn't say cheesesteak. What he describes would have been perfectly normal in Spain, where it even gets its own name (pepito de ternera), although if the sandwich isn't to be eaten immediately it's more common to put some sort of batter on the meat. The most common meats eaten this way are pork boneless rib (lomo de cerdo, thus pepito de lomo) and second-quality beef steak (filete de ternera).

Maybe the problem wasn't with the sandwich being inauthentic but with the mental compass being in the wrong colored blob of the map.
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Last edited by Nava; 08-10-2019 at 01:38 AM.
  #63  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:15 AM
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Ahem. Barbecue chicken pizza is a THING in California
It's also a THING in some pockets of Maine. It's surprisingly tasty: barbecue sauce in place of pizza sauce, pieces of grilled chicken, small slices of red onion, and a light topping of cheese. I think the trick may be selecting pieces of chicken that are just large enough to survive the extra cooking time on top of the pizza.
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Old 08-10-2019, 10:00 AM
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Maybe the problem wasn't with the sandwich being inauthentic but with the mental compass being in the wrong colored blob of the map.
Yeah, I see this a lot in Yelp reviews, and it drives me a little nuts. The main one that comes to mind is some reviewer bitching about an excellent pizza restaurant as not making "real pizza" or some such nonsense because there was hardly any sauce on it, and the sauce tasted like plain tomato sauce, and that it was too light on the cheese. (And probably complaining about the flecks of char on the crust, too.) And I'm sitting here scratching my head thinking, dude, you're at a fucking Neapolitan-style pizza restaurant. That is exactly what they're supposed to be serving.

I feel like I run into this all the time--somebody complaining about an aspect of a restaurant's food and me thinking, "you know, that is actually how they make it back there, or at least one regional variation." Lasagna in the US is another one. Most people here expect Sicilian or Southern Italian/Italian-American versions that are fairly loaded with stuff, including ricotta cheese. When they come across Northern versions (just layers of bolognese and bechamel) they tend to be confused if not outright declare "that is not lasagna!"
  #65  
Old 08-10-2019, 10:11 AM
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Oh, another odd one I remember from Budapest: when I moved there in 1998, I lived in a block of flats in a working class area in the 13th District, along the Pest side of the Danube. On the way to the subway everyday, I passed a storefront eatery that proudly advertised -- partially in English, for some reason (though this is not an area you would expect tourists or English speakers) -- its "authentic Chicago-style wraps." Being a born-and-raised Chicagoan, my curiosity was piqued. What in the hell could a Chicago-style wrap be? A burrito? At the time, the only association I had with "wraps" was as a West Coast, possibly Southwest/Santa Fe kind of thing. At any rate, in 1998 (and now), wraps were not associated at all geographically with Chicago or the Midwest.

After a couple of weeks, I worked up my nerve to go in and try one of these famous Chicago-style wraps. It turned out to be a large flour tortilla (or tortilla-like flatbread) stuffed with basically just meat and mashed potatoes. No crisp fresh vegetables to be found for counterpoint; nothing like the "fresh and light and vaguely healthy" association I had with the concept of wraps at the time.

It was ... interesting. I don't know if it was terrible, it just wasn't something I needed to have again, especially in the middle of a sweltry August. I do have to say, though, with all the meat and mashed potatoes, I could see why the word "Chicago-style" was associated with it. But, no. No such thing has ever existed here, or at least not existed to a level where it spawned an entire genre of foods called "Chicago-style wraps."
  #66  
Old 08-10-2019, 10:48 AM
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I remember going to an *AMERICAN HAMBURGER JOINT* in Brighton, England, called Cagney's, where the decor heavily featured some 1930s Hollywood actor or other.

The food wasn't really bad, but it sure wasn't American, either.

On the other hand, one of the best pizzas I've ever had was also in Brighton: a simple little pie topped with anchovies and capers, absolutely delicious. This might somehow have been due to the proprietor-and-chef being Sicilian.
I remember having one of the best burgers ever in a NYPD themed restaurant in Dublin. I decided to look for it and Iím sure itís the one mentioned in this article. They were very happy to have American high school students in their place.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/comeher...val-guide/amp/



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Pizza places in Germany provide decent pizza, though they aren't cut and you have to eat them with a knife and fork, but the thing that surprised me was finding a baked egg on top.
I found the pizza and Italian food in Germany to be excellent. I donít think I was ever in one that wasnít run and staffed by Italians.
  #67  
Old 08-10-2019, 10:53 AM
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I have two words for you: Soviet pizza. Blech. (Actually, I guess that's three words.)
  #68  
Old 08-10-2019, 11:19 AM
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Pizza places in Germany provide decent pizza, though they aren't cut and you have to eat them with a knife and fork
They often don't cut your pizza in Italy, either, so that's pretty standard and not an authenticity fail unless the joint is advertising American style pizzas.

Last edited by pulykamell; 08-10-2019 at 11:20 AM.
  #69  
Old 08-10-2019, 01:43 PM
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I have two words for you: Soviet pizza. Blech. (Actually, I guess that's three words.)
Riga sprats, sour cream and caviar, with a pureed beet sauce.
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Old 08-10-2019, 02:36 PM
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Riga sprats, sour cream and caviar, with a pureed beet sauce.

don't forget the cigarette butts!
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Old 08-10-2019, 03:05 PM
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I have two words for you: Soviet pizza. Blech. (Actually, I guess that's three words.)
Makes me wonder where and when you were in the USSR. I actually had some very good pizza in Moscow in the late '80s and early '90s, and not just in expat restaurants. There was one little kiosk near the US Embassy that sold miniature luncheon pizzas fresh out of the kitchen of an adjacent institute. There was also a restaurant on the third floor of a shopping mall (or what passed for one then, anyway) near my institute that offered what were basically calzones with the sauce on the side. They came with big bulbs of marinated garlic. Absolutely delicious!

The takeout pizza you can get there now is not bad either, and they have free delivery. Even the frozen pizza sold in supermarkets is acceptable, if not exactly haute cuisine.
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  #72  
Old 08-10-2019, 03:11 PM
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They often don't cut your pizza in Italy, either, so that's pretty standard and not an authenticity fail unless the joint is advertising American style pizzas.
When I was in Venice, I saw Italians just tear pieces out of their pies and fold them over so that the toppings and sauce didn't run off.
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  #73  
Old 08-10-2019, 03:15 PM
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Riga sprats, sour cream and caviar, with a pureed beet sauce.
I think you're referring to what's called "herring under a fur coat." It's actually quite tasty, if you can get past the "earthy" flavor of the beets (which took me a long, long time).

Never seen it made with caviar though, but I imagine that would be pretty tasty too.
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  #74  
Old 08-12-2019, 09:52 AM
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I think you're referring to what's called "herring under a fur coat." It's actually quite tasty, if you can get past the "earthy" flavor of the beets (which took me a long, long time).

Never seen it made with caviar though, but I imagine that would be pretty tasty too.
That's actually a real dish?!?

I was just trying to make a list of pizza toppings that sounded Russian and unappetizing.
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Old 08-12-2019, 09:55 AM
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Yeah, I see this a lot in Yelp reviews, and it drives me a little nuts.
I've seen reviews which complain about a place whose name includes the word "Bar" or "Cafeteria" serving bar- or cafeteria-style food, or having a bar or cafeteria ambience. What the fuck were you expecting, room service at the Ritz?
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  #76  
Old 08-12-2019, 09:58 AM
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Pizza places in Germany provide decent pizza, though they aren't cut and you have to eat them with a knife and fork, but the thing that surprised me was finding a baked egg on top.
As others have noted, Italian pizza isn't served cut up, and the egg is an integral part of the well-known Italian Pizza 'Fiorentina' (the egg is cracked onto the pizza just before it goes in the oven).

Nothing inauthentic in either.

Last edited by SanVito; 08-12-2019 at 09:58 AM.
  #77  
Old 08-12-2019, 10:25 AM
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I had what was probably the best pasta I've ever had yesterday here in Osaka.
Came in here to say the same; I've had awesome spaghetti dishes in a few places in Japan.

Yoshoku is a whole category of food there, dishes that were adopted from foreign cultures and tweaked to suit the Japanese palate or deal with the limited availability of certain ingredients in Japan. AFAIK restaurants that serve yoshoku dishes don't make any pretense of them being authentic "western" dishes; yoshoku is just kind of its own thing, another branch of Japanese food.

FWIW, I had tuna pizza once there. I don't want to have it again.
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Old 08-12-2019, 10:38 AM
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The cafeteria in the office building where I used to work had a habit of making "authentic" lunch specials that, as someone upthread mentioned, appeared to have been based solely on a picture someone had seen of the food in question. The most hilariously messed up dish that I remember was the one advertised as "authentic British fish and chips" where the fish was tilapia rather than haddock or cod, was breaded rather than battered, and the "chips" were...potato chips.
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Old 08-12-2019, 10:38 AM
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Lasagna in the US is another one. Most people here expect Sicilian or Southern Italian/Italian-American versions that are fairly loaded with stuff, including ricotta cheese. When they come across Northern versions (just layers of bolognese and bechamel) they tend to be confused if not outright declare "that is not lasagna!"
Huh. Apparently I prefer Northern-style lasagna. Ricotta sucks!
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Old 08-12-2019, 02:29 PM
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New to California, I went with my colleagues to a Japanese shopping plaza in Costa Mesa for its food court. One option was called "Italian Tomato" and it seemed most likely to have something my less-than-adventurous self would find appealing, and potentially like food I'd get at home in NY. I guess I got some kind of pasta with red sauce and it was terrible.

I later asked a Japanese-American colleague about it, and she explained that it was exactly like how Italian food is prepared in Japan - which is nothing at all like what I was expecting, but what most of the patrons at this place wanted and were expecting.

Not sure if that makes it Authentic, or a FAIL - it depends on perspective. But I never went back.
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Old 08-12-2019, 02:59 PM
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That's actually a real dish?!?

I was just trying to make a list of pizza toppings that sounded Russian and unappetizing.
Oh, yeah. I challenge you to find a restaurant in Russia that doesn't have it on the menu as a salad/appetizer/starter.

You can buy it in supermarkets too, prefabricated in little plastic tubs or scooped up from a tray.

https://www.thespruceeats.com/russia...recipe-1137331
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Old 08-12-2019, 03:28 PM
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I had a pizza in China many years ago. The sauce was red but otherwise not resembling any tomato-like characteristics. The cheese tasted most like someone had drizzled sourdough starter on top, otherwise we were at a total loss as to what the substance might really be.
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Old 08-12-2019, 03:59 PM
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New to California, I went with my colleagues to a Japanese shopping plaza in Costa Mesa for its food court. One option was called "Italian Tomato" and it seemed most likely to have something my less-than-adventurous self would find appealing, and potentially like food I'd get at home in NY. I guess I got some kind of pasta with red sauce and it was terrible.
I had Italian food in Paris (my bad) and it wasn't good.

Also a cheeseburger at an American style joint and the beef tasted, um, differently.
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Old 08-12-2019, 04:44 PM
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Old 08-12-2019, 05:38 PM
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It's also a THING in some pockets of Maine. It's surprisingly tasty: barbecue sauce in place of pizza sauce, pieces of grilled chicken, small slices of red onion, and a light topping of cheese. I think the trick may be selecting pieces of chicken that are just large enough to survive the extra cooking time on top of the pizza.
Pizza Hut has Backyard BBQ Chicken Pizza on their menu so I'm pretty sure it is a THING everywhere in the US.
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Old 08-12-2019, 06:19 PM
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I was in a barbecue joint in rural Arkansas that had fresh catfish on the menu. A friend of mine ordered it against my recommendation, we were in barbecue joint for God's sake. The waitress came back 20 minutes later and asked if he could order something else. The fish was frozen to the wall of the freezer and wouldn't come loose.

Last edited by Omar Little; 08-12-2019 at 06:20 PM.
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Old 08-12-2019, 08:04 PM
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Never pay to eat hot dogs someplace that does not have (a) an outfield or (b) at least 6 motorcycles in the parking lot.
I really hate hot dogs, unless they're from a Coney Island. Then you know it's not just lips and assholes, but [i]also[i] cow hearts. I'm saying that unironically. I'll let interested readers Google that.

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I was traveling through Mexico years ago and was in the mood for a hamburger. Saw a market stall that had it on the menu, and I decided to order one.

It was literally a piece of ham with some breading on it served between two buns.
That's, uh, unusual. In fact, ham is kind of unusual in Mexico. The only place I can remember having it is a restaurant in Valenciana, Guanajuato.

On the other hand, many years ago, there was a restaurant in Manzanillo, Colima, Mexico that was named "Hamburguesas sin Microbios" (hamburgers without microbes) that made pretty damned good hamburgers. I didn't get sick, so I guess their name was accurate.


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Yeah, I see this a lot in Yelp reviews, and it drives me a little nuts. The main one that comes to mind is some reviewer bitching about an excellent pizza restaurant as not making "real pizza" or some such nonsense because there was hardly any sauce on it, and the sauce tasted like plain tomato sauce, and that it was too light on the cheese.
I'm always conscientious when I review pizza places on Yelp, because not every place serves perfect, Detroit-style pizza. Therefore I always point out, I'm not a fan of this style of pizza, and it's awesome anyway (Chicago, but not Chicago-style), or I'm not a fan of this pizza, and it sucks (Chicago style), or I'm not of fan of this pizza, and I don't see the big deal (NYC), or I'm not a fan of this style but it was freaking awesome (local brick oven place), and try to detail the experience will have aside from the pizza.

The Chicago style at Pizza Uno sucks, plain and simple. It was a fantastic restaurant, though, and as long as you order something besides Chicago style, you'll have a great time.
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Old 08-12-2019, 09:50 PM
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Oh, yeah. I challenge you to find a restaurant in Russia that doesn't have it on the menu as a salad/appetizer/starter.

You can buy it in supermarkets too, prefabricated in little plastic tubs or scooped up from a tray.

https://www.thespruceeats.com/russia...recipe-1137331
That's like what pimento cheese spread would be like in the Upside Down...
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Old 08-13-2019, 01:16 AM
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English pizza. Pineapple is still weird but ok, it’s a thing else ware. Sprouts though?
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Old 08-13-2019, 07:27 AM
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Yeah, I see this a lot in Yelp reviews, and it drives me a little nuts. The main one that comes to mind is some reviewer bitching about an excellent pizza restaurant as not making "real pizza" or some such nonsense because there was hardly any sauce on it, and the sauce tasted like plain tomato sauce, and that it was too light on the cheese. (And probably complaining about the flecks of char on the crust, too.) And I'm sitting here scratching my head thinking, dude, you're at a fucking Neapolitan-style pizza restaurant. That is exactly what they're supposed to be serving.
This is a big part of why I think "authentic" is a weird thing to pursue. That reviewer clearly didn't like this kind of pizza, and that's totally fine. Instead of complaining about how it wasn't real, she should've complained about how there wasn't enough sauce for her tastes.

And if you're more looking for adventurous eating, not something you know you'll like, authenticity still isn't much help: instead, you should look for places with interesting menus.

Authenticity seems both reductive and beside the point.
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Old 08-13-2019, 07:53 AM
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I once ate at an "American"-style restaurant in Scotland called "Uncle Buck's" The cuisine was pretty much American (although the meat was kinda gristly), but the "fail" part was the "chocolate" syrup they used on their sundae. I'm not sure what it was, but it was definitely the wrong color for chocolate. Wrong taste, too.
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Old 08-13-2019, 08:01 AM
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What many of these stories prove is that, "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed is king."

When a cuisine is introduced into a country in which it has been previously unknown, some pretty poor restaurants can get away with some pretty poor food.
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  #93  
Old 08-13-2019, 08:26 AM
Sparky812 is offline
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After a late night of drinking in Acapulco we ordered an "authentic Italian" pizza to our villa. It looked awful and tasted worse. Pretty sure it was processed cheese, ketchup, sliced up hot dogs, on a soggy thin crust.

Listen, I love pizza and will eat pretty much any incarnation.... but this was so gross I could barely take a couple of bites without gagging.
  #94  
Old 08-13-2019, 08:41 AM
DesertDog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
"Steak sandwich" is such a vague term that you never know what you'll get, and there's many acceptable versions. The version sold under that name at the Brat House in Kenosha, for instance, isn't really that much different.
When I was in boot camp at Great Lakes, for boot liberty about six of us went to Kenosha because it was close but not as expensive (we hoped) as Chicago. When we got there, we went our various ways and joined up several hours later. The guy from Philadelphia spotted me and came galloping up. "Hey! I was in this diner and I ordered a steak sandwich---"

"---and it was one hunk of meat on a round bun," I interrupted. "A thin slice of ribeye if you were lucky."

"Yeah! How did you know?"

"That's what most of the country expects when they order a steak sandwich. You should have seen me the first time I had one in Philly!"
  #95  
Old 08-13-2019, 08:45 AM
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Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
I had perhaps the worst burger of my life in 1996 from some kiosk in Wolverhampton's city center. I have no idea what this weirdly pink, mushy/mealy sandwich was, but it was not a hamburger as advertised.
Mr Sizzle.

We live in Wolverhampton. Mr Sizzle is a trap set late at night, and around the football matches, to catch the unwary and drunk. It is almost like a soberness machine, you never forget your first and only Mr Sizzle burger, because you'll remember it forever.

Horrible.
  #96  
Old 08-13-2019, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Chefguy View Post
When I lived in Europe in the 80s, it was almost impossible to find an edible hamburger in a restaurant that wasn't an American chain. I'm not sure what they put in them, but it wasn't beef.
Mr Wimpy's Quarter Pounder and Cheese is still my favourite burger. Over Five Guys and the Ilk.

The chain was bought out by Burger King in the early 90s, half of the restaurants got converted to BK, and I think the brand was sold off. They exist in the south of London still and some weird spots (disappeared from Service stations), but I live 100 miles from any of them.

Still miss 'em.
  #97  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:08 AM
Smid is offline
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Originally Posted by Sitnam View Post
English pizza. Pineapple is still weird but ok, itís a thing else ware. Sprouts though?
I've lived in England (largely, here and there), for the last thirty years.

I've never seen Brussels sprouts on Pizza. Or Bean Sprouts.

So that's not "English pizza". Or at least, not in England.
  #98  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:59 AM
jz78817 is offline
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Originally Posted by Smid View Post
Mr Wimpy's Quarter Pounder and Cheese is still my favourite burger. Over Five Guys and the Ilk.
do they let you pay on Tuesday for a hamburger today?
  #99  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:22 AM
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Colibri is offline
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The weirdest thing I've had on pizza is hearts-of-palm in Argentina, but it wasn't bad at all. But with a large Italian immigrant population, Argentinian pizza is usually great.

Last edited by Colibri; 08-13-2019 at 10:23 AM.
  #100  
Old 08-13-2019, 11:22 AM
kaylasdad99 is offline
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Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
Cheesesteaks do not work that way!

But seriously, I've only ever found one place outside of the Delaware valley that makes a reasonable approximation of a Philadelphia cheesesteak (a sandwich shop in Bozeman, MT, just off of campus). Which is also the one place I've found outside of the Delaware valley that doesn't call their steak sandwich a "Philly steak". I asked the folks there about it once, and they said "Oh, no, we don't make a Philly style steak. We don't put lettuce and tomatoes and mayo on it.". Yes, exactly. The actual Philadelphia cheesesteak is really, really simple, and yet everyone still manages to get it wrong.
Word.

To begin with, they never use Philly cream cheese (or even a store-brand/generic cream cheese). It's always Cheez-Whiz, or something similar.
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