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  #1  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:11 PM
skdo23 skdo23 is offline
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I pit bartenders who do not know how to properly pour a pint of Guinness.

Is it really that hard?
  #2  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:18 PM
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Seems to be, for one of our Irish pubs. Same pub (same name, same owners, presumably same beer) a couple of blocks over does it perfectly... not sure what the issues are at "my" pub. It's the one I can walk to, so I'm not switching just for a good "pull" of Guiness.
  #3  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:22 PM
Condescending Robot Condescending Robot is offline
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It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
  #4  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:37 PM
Peremensoe Peremensoe is offline
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Originally Posted by Condescending Robot View Post
It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.
  #5  
Old 01-27-2013, 12:27 PM
FoieGrasIsEvil FoieGrasIsEvil is offline
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Originally Posted by Peremensoe View Post
Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.
Guinness is food.

Last edited by FoieGrasIsEvil; 01-27-2013 at 12:27 PM.
  #6  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:23 PM
zoid zoid is online now
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Originally Posted by Condescending Robot View Post
It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
Dick.

Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.

Oh, and one last thing...

You're a dick.
  #7  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:34 PM
friedo friedo is online now
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Dick.

Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.

Oh, and one last thing...

You're a dick.
It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
  #8  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:41 PM
zoid zoid is online now
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It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
I don't give a shit how they pour it as long as the end result is correct.
Wave a magic wand, say a prayer, cut the head off a chicken, what ever works.
  #9  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:44 PM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
Bringing your bartender flowers is a good start.


FTR, I probably have over a thousand dollars worth of Scotch on my bar right now. If you're here, I'll serve it in a rocks glass with a small flake of ice. If you want more (or none), so be it. So gripe about a bartender not ensuring a good head on your beer, flatness, or off tastes, that's one thing. Heck, I usually order Scotch chilled into a rocks glass so I don't have to worry about getting it in a strangely shaped glass, so if the special Guiness glass is part of your ritual, so be it.

Liking that is one thing. Bitching about bartenders that don't "know how to pour" and linking to a Wiki page that measures timing in hundredths of a second as if it's essential puts you into a different category.

So STFU and let's meet at a pub.
  #10  
Old 01-27-2013, 07:11 AM
Malacandra Malacandra is offline
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It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.
That's what I keep telling her, but nooo......
  #11  
Old 01-27-2013, 09:08 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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Originally Posted by Condescending Robot View Post
It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
It takes a big man to threadshit in a beer thread. Just sayin.
  #12  
Old 01-27-2013, 11:58 AM
silenus silenus is offline
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It takes a big man to threadshit in a beer thread. Just sayin.
Big asshole, you mean. I've never seen CR post anything worthwhile yet, and I doubt I ever will. In the words of Gunny Hartman, the best part of him ran down his mama's leg.
  #13  
Old 01-30-2013, 10:50 AM
Knorf Knorf is offline
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It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.
My local Wal-Fart er Mart actually has a quite decent selection of beer. Not spectacular, but good.

I never buy beer there, or anything else if I can help it, but I did once notice, while wandering in a Wal-Mart with no purpose "... hey ... look, wow ... good beer section!"

ETA: the presence of Guinness is not evidence of a good selection.

Last edited by Knorf; 01-30-2013 at 10:51 AM.
  #14  
Old 01-30-2013, 12:25 PM
lance strongarm lance strongarm is offline
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Originally Posted by Condescending Robot View Post
It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment
The 119.53 seconds spec is proof that Guinness brewery is in on the joke.
  #15  
Old 01-30-2013, 02:38 PM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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The 119.53 seconds spec is proof that Guinness brewery is in on the joke.
Point well taken.
  #16  
Old 01-30-2013, 04:40 PM
Great Antibob Great Antibob is offline
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The 119.53 seconds spec is proof that Guinness brewery is in on the joke.
No way.

On the Guinness Storehouse tour, you got timed in a tap room. If you took 0.1s more than 119.53s, you were beaten within an inch of your life and thrown out a 3rd story window.





...or they didn't seem to care how much time you took and you got to enjoy a nice, quiet pint you poured yourself. The "perfect pint pourer" certificate was a bit cheesy, but you expect that sort of thing on holiday.

Whatever you think of the beer itself, the Storehouse tour is well worth admission if you're ever in Dublin.
  #17  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:26 PM
saje saje is offline
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Teetotaler, are you?

Yes, people drink just to get drunk. But some of us actually LIKE the taste of beer and wine, and drink it to enjoy it, one or two glasses at most.

Condescending Robot, you are well named.
  #18  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:28 PM
DrFidelius DrFidelius is online now
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If the bartender makes a little shamrock in the head, you are allowed to stab him in the throat with a fork. In several counties in Ireland this is mandatory.
  #19  
Old 01-27-2013, 04:05 PM
SCAdian SCAdian is offline
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If the bartender makes a little shamrock in the head, you are allowed to stab him in the throat with a fork. In several counties in Ireland this is mandatory.
What's mandatory - the shamrock, or the stabbing?
  #20  
Old 01-27-2013, 04:27 PM
DrFidelius DrFidelius is online now
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What's mandatory - the shamrock, or the stabbing?
Both. Makes a good show for the tourists.
  #21  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:16 PM
Robb Robb is offline
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Hand pulled?
You mean leg pulled.
  #22  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:21 PM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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"Guinness is Good for You".
  #23  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:42 PM
Cinnamon Imp Cinnamon Imp is offline
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Seconded. And I pit bars who don't take care of their pipes properly so you get a foul tasting pint of Guinness that's travelled through gods knows what festering in the taps
  #24  
Old 01-26-2013, 03:39 PM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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I fucking hate it when I order a Sams and it comes in one of those froofy glasses. I see from the link that Condescending Robot wasn't being facetious--if it's accurate, they really do make their recommendation to the hundredths place. Plus, Guiness is redesigning their pint glasses? Fucking pretentious fucks.

I get the appreciation for Guiness as a beer and basic conventions. Good stuff. But pitting bartenders because they don't "klnow how to properly pour a pint" is hipster crap akin to overpriced speaker wire and a fetish for vinyl records.
  #25  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:33 PM
skdo23 skdo23 is offline
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I fucking hate it when I order a Sams and it comes in one of those froofy glasses. I see from the link that Condescending Robot wasn't being facetious--if it's accurate, they really do make their recommendation to the hundredths place. Plus, Guiness is redesigning their pint glasses? Fucking pretentious fucks.

I get the appreciation for Guiness as a beer and basic conventions. Good stuff. But pitting bartenders because they don't "klnow how to properly pour a pint" is hipster crap akin to overpriced speaker wire and a fetish for vinyl records.
To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.
  #26  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:28 PM
PlainJain PlainJain is offline
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To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.
Not a Guinness drinker but I too would be interested to see if that special pour would fly in a blind taste test. I gots to say, I'm skeptical.
  #27  
Old 01-28-2013, 11:00 AM
Doug K. Doug K. is offline
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To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.
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Originally Posted by zoid View Post
Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.
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Originally Posted by PlainJain View Post
Not a Guinness drinker but I too would be interested to see if that special pour would fly in a blind taste test. I gots to say, I'm skeptical.
Heck, I'd be interested to see if anyone can actually articulate what the difference is, rather than just vaguely saying "this makes all the difference".
  #28  
Old 01-28-2013, 11:20 AM
DrDeth DrDeth is offline
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Heck, I'd be interested to see if anyone can actually articulate what the difference is, rather than just vaguely saying "this makes all the difference".

You’ll agree that paying for a beer that is 50% head and only 50% beer is a problem, no?
  #29  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:52 PM
Saintly Loser Saintly Loser is offline
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Originally Posted by skdo23 View Post
To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.
I'm with you. And I'll add that I can't stand bars that chill Guinness until it's too cold to drink.
  #30  
Old 01-26-2013, 10:44 PM
dropzone dropzone is offline
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Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.
You found a decent Guinness in Chicago? Usually it's rancid or...
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Originally Posted by Saintly Loser View Post
... I can't stand bars that chill Guinness until it's too cold to drink.
And that was at a ChiDope at a bar with pretentions to Irishness.
  #31  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:01 PM
Grrr! Grrr! is offline
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I'm waiting for the bartenders to show up in this thread.

I'm sure they would love the fact that they are being told to spend two minutes pouring some special snowflake's beer.
  #32  
Old 01-28-2013, 03:14 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Originally Posted by skdo23 View Post
To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.
So far as I can tell, the two-stage pour is a mostly myth. I've tried one-stage and two-stage pours side by side, and I can't tell any difference. I actually prefer bars that don't do this stupid little ritual. Get me my beer ASAP.

The two-stage pour seems to come from back in the days when Guinness was poured from two different drafts. Three-quarters or so of the beer came from the fresh keg. One quarter or less from an older, slightly soured one.

My original citation doesn't seem to exist anymore, but I mentioned it in this thread.

Quote:
In the recently reviewed book [Beer and Cider in Ireland, the Complete Guide], it states that it was introduced at the switch from the 2-keg pour to the nitro, as the customer was used to having it poured in 2 parts, one from the fresh keg, and one from the aged keg, so to introduce some consistency it was used, so the customer still realised s/he was getting guinness or something like that.

[...]

Actually, what you mean is that the two-stage pour was always there as it used to be poured from two different casks. When the change was made to a single keg the two-part pour was maintained (or ritualised), not introduced, even though it was not strictly required. So you could say that it was a marketting decision to make customers think they were getting something that same as they used to, regardless of whether it was nitro. I can't recall (and the book is out of reach), but was nitro introduced at the same time as a single keg? Overall, if it was any other gas they'd probably still have maintained the two-part, and regardless of the gas used, I don't believe it would affect taste as it all comes from one container.

[...]

Oh, I dunno. If there's a bit of a ritual around something it can make some people feel they're getting something a little special. How many times have we heard people complaining about a barman "abroad" who didn't do a two part pour, so obviously didn't know how to pour Guinness? We all buy into these things subconsciously. There's no harm overall, and if it's something that marks out a product from others, then to that company it's worth it. It has become tradition esentially, even if it makes no difference to the taste or appearance of the product.

[...]
Results from my little experiment in. I wanted to do a blind test but there was no good way to do that by myself. Tasted the one pour first- wasn't a nice Guinness, you now the way the roasted flavours sometimes seem muted and the beer lacks its gentle bitterness, was confident that the two part would win but... it tasted exactly the same.
We must sell some pretty bad Guinness. I voted yes in this poll maybe have to reconsider.
And, as I mention in that thread, that is being written by Irish aficionados of beer, not some Americans or other foreigners who might not be as clued-in to the subtleties.
  #33  
Old 01-28-2013, 04:36 PM
2sense 2sense is offline
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So far as I can tell, the two-stage pour is a mostly myth. I've tried one-stage and two-stage pours side by side, and I can't tell any difference. I actually prefer bars that don't do this stupid little ritual. Get me my beer ASAP.
How is your beer coming any faster with a single pour? You mean you want all the foam?
  #34  
Old 01-28-2013, 05:31 PM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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How is your beer coming any faster with a single pour? You mean you want all the foam?
Um...if you pour a pint properly, with the glass tilted against the tap, there is no huge head of foam. You pour in one go, get about an inch of head, and drink. There's plenty of places I've been to that do a single-stage pour, and it never results in a pint full of foam.
  #35  
Old 01-26-2013, 03:47 PM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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Mmmmm. . .Irish Car Bombs. People still drinking those? A shot, 50/50 Jameson's and Bailey's; dropped into Guinness and chugged. Mmmmmm.
  #36  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:42 PM
Kizzume Kizzume is offline
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"Shaken, not stirred" is all that goes through my mind...
  #37  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:45 PM
Czarcasm Czarcasm is offline
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Is Coors Light best served in a plastic glass or a paper cup?
  #38  
Old 01-28-2013, 02:57 PM
Kimballkid Kimballkid is offline
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Is Coors Light best served in a plastic glass or a paper cup?
It too has it's own special glass.
  #39  
Old 01-30-2013, 08:08 AM
cmyk cmyk is offline
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Is Coors Light best served in a plastic glass or a paper cup?
Only Solo 16 oz. plastic cups, never paper, and always red. In a pinch, one can substitute with a Dixie 16 oz plastic cup, but then it must be transparent (not red or any other color) to more easily distinguish the compromise for the drinker.

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  #40  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:53 PM
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Coors is best served by pouring it down the drain.
  #41  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:16 PM
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I like my Guinness best straight out of the can, from a paper bag, at a location where I'm not technically supposed to be drinking. YMMV.
  #42  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:33 PM
friedo friedo is online now
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Guinness is a good beer but it's extremely overrated. There are a number of superior stouts of all kinds made right here in the USA. And they don't come with mandatory glass shapes or official pour-times with insignificant figures.
  #43  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:47 PM
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Never mind how you pour it, it's how you drink it that counts. One more beer!
  #44  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:57 PM
An Gadaí An Gadaí is offline
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I've only ever seen the knife thingy done in America but apparently it used to be popular here. Guinness is awful muck and the way Diageo has hijacked Irish culture and history for its own ends sickens me. Fuck Guinness whatever way it's poured. Also it turns your shite black.
  #45  
Old 01-26-2013, 06:26 PM
zoid zoid is online now
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I've only ever seen the knife thingy done in America but apparently it used to be popular here. Guinness is awful muck and the way Diageo has hijacked Irish culture and history for its own ends sickens me. Fuck Guinness whatever way it's poured. Also it turns your shite black.
How do you feel about Harp or Smithwick's?
  #46  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:25 PM
An Gadaí An Gadaí is offline
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How do you feel about Harp or Smithwick's?
I'd drink Harp if there was nothing else going and I quite like Smithwick's. Beamish isn't bad either.
  #47  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:34 PM
dogbutler dogbutler is offline
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I'd drink Harp if there was nothing else going and I quite like Smithwick's. Beamish isn't bad either.
I like Beamish, it's just hard to find these days.
  #48  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:51 PM
Joey P Joey P is offline
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We don't have them in the US, but how would you feel about bartenders using a Surger?
That's using a can of Guinness with no nitrogen and sending ultrasonic waves through it to get the small bubbles.
  #49  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:22 PM
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Ha, I'm a bartender and I came in to say exactly that. Do you know how much of a pain things like this are when 15 drunk people are angrily shouting special orders at you ?

You should probably tell the bartender how to do it right for you, especially if it's busy . Make sure not to tip either . Otherwise the bar atmosphere might get too relaxed if things aren't done properly.

Everyone acts like because they could make their special coffee or drink better at home they would naturally be better at working at a coffee shop or bar and making hundreds of different things an hour than the stupid proles who obviously could never sit there and fill out papers like they do.
  #50  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:30 PM
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I pit bars that don' t use the proper nitrogen mixture with their guinness. Last time , the ratio was off by a few percentage points and I immediately vomited with rage!

Naturally, I left no tip. That guy's kids dont deserve heat and his seed should be wiped from the earth.

I may not be the customer they want, but I'm the one they NEED. The manager even assured me so when I complained to him again.
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