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  #551  
Old 08-06-2018, 03:46 AM
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Ol' blue eyes, himself.


My singing leaves_____.
  #552  
Old 08-06-2018, 07:21 AM
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... cats running away in fear.

My favorite song is ...
  #553  
Old 08-06-2018, 11:57 AM
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sung frequently in the highlands of Scotland.

I took yodeling lessons since...
  #554  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:10 PM
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the kazoo lesson workshop was already filled.


When in Rome....
  #555  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:17 PM
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be sure to admire Michelangelo's gilded stoats in the Vatican Museum.

The Swiss Guards really know how to ___________________________
  #556  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:20 PM
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...make a mean grilled cheese.

When in Switzerland...
  #557  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:26 PM
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grab me a box of chocolates, Swiss chocolate is so good because...
  #558  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:35 PM
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it doesn't have all those fucking holes, like their cheese.

Senegalese chocolate, on the other hand, _________________
  #559  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:41 PM
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Senegalese chocolate, on the other hand, _________________
is mostly wrapper.


The quick, brown. . .
  #560  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:49 PM
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...fox is a real hit at dinner parties.

His wittiness is legendary among...
  #561  
Old 08-06-2018, 02:54 PM
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Senegalese chocolate magnates and their hangers-on.

Mondays always make me wanna ________________

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 08-06-2018 at 02:55 PM.
  #562  
Old 08-06-2018, 05:02 PM
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eat grilled cheese and chocolate.

I find on Tuesday’s...
  #563  
Old 08-06-2018, 05:41 PM
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...I'm a bit bloated and backed up.

Lactose intolerance is unpleasant, but...
  #564  
Old 08-06-2018, 05:56 PM
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...it's better than cancer.

The last time ebola...
  #565  
Old 08-06-2018, 06:20 PM
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... affected anybody, it wasn't pleasant.

Far more pleasant, however, is ...
  #566  
Old 08-06-2018, 07:59 PM
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Far more pleasant, however, is ...
... being just sick enough to stay home from work without guilt, but not too sick to play video games.


Now, if I may digress momentarily. . .
  #567  
Old 08-07-2018, 12:37 AM
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... I'd like to discuss the films of Mel Brooks.

One which I think is particularly noteworthy is ...
  #568  
Old 08-07-2018, 12:44 AM
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Not on my playlist, now I am a sad


To cheer up I______.
  #569  
Old 08-07-2018, 12:47 AM
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To cheer up I______.
watched the ACTUAL To Be or Not to Be, not the stinkin' Mel Brooks remake. He needs to stick to original material.


Remakes are. . .
  #570  
Old 08-07-2018, 08:09 AM
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... proof that Hollywood has run out of ideas.

Although the exception to the rule would be ...
  #571  
Old 08-07-2018, 10:04 AM
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Casablanca 2: Electric Boogaloo, a remarkable film which I am shocked - shocked! - to say the Academy Awards utterly ignored.

Whenever the Academy Awards ignore me, I just ____________________________
  #572  
Old 08-07-2018, 04:06 PM
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... look at my shelves full of Golden Globes, Emmys, and Tonys, and figure that it's the Academy's loss if it ignores me.

In fact, I'm currently working on ...
  #573  
Old 08-07-2018, 05:38 PM
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...a diabolical plan for vengence.

Step #1:...
  #574  
Old 08-07-2018, 06:23 PM
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design my outfit for the red carpet.

Sequins and feathers...
  #575  
Old 08-07-2018, 06:36 PM
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and see-through areas when the flash bulbs pop because I always like to show off my...
  #576  
Old 08-07-2018, 07:04 PM
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and see-through areas when the flash bulbs pop because I always like to show off my...
my large brain and beee-oootiful hair.
When I go to the after party________.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 08-07-2018 at 07:05 PM.
  #577  
Old 08-07-2018, 09:05 PM
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...some guy offers me a fistful of pills.

I gobble them down...
  #578  
Old 08-07-2018, 09:12 PM
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double-dip some tasty Buffalo chicken dip, then turn around only to be confronted by an angry...
  #579  
Old 08-07-2018, 09:15 PM
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... pharmacist, who is not pleased that I dipped the pills he just gave me in Buffalo chicken dip.

Oh well, time to head for the bar, where ...
  #580  
Old 08-07-2018, 09:25 PM
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...I can wait for the mystery pills to do their thing.

The bartender...
  #581  
Old 08-08-2018, 12:39 AM
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...is starting to turn green and grow a third head.

All-in-all, just another ordinary day in...
  #582  
Old 08-08-2018, 01:01 AM
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...which it is deja vu deja vu all day long.

Today I had a deja vu when I saw...
  #583  
Old 08-08-2018, 01:05 AM
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Kids in the school supply aisle. A few days more and quiet stores to shop in.


I was buying______.
  #584  
Old 08-08-2018, 01:46 AM
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... school supplies for the kids.

But the list of stuff the school requires--I mean really, do elementary school kids need ...
  #585  
Old 08-08-2018, 09:19 AM
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... pencils and paper? I thought everything was online now.

Another strange thing about school nowadays is ...
  #586  
Old 08-08-2018, 10:51 AM
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they sit around on laptops and don’t have as many verbal discussions.

Something I’d like to discuss is...
  #587  
Old 08-08-2018, 03:27 PM
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why the kids in the neighborhood point at me and laugh whenever I walk my pet stoat, Mr. Vomit.

It's enough to make me want to ______________
  #588  
Old 08-08-2018, 06:06 PM
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...run amok throughout the neighborhood with a curvy dagger.

Let's seem them point and laugh when...
  #589  
Old 08-08-2018, 06:34 PM
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Let's seem them point and laugh when...
...they no longer have index fingers, Heh, Heh, Heh.


I love my dead, gay. . .
  #590  
Old 08-08-2018, 07:22 PM
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And happy parrots memory. She said 20 cheerful phrases.

I am ordering a new ______.
  #591  
Old 08-08-2018, 07:29 PM
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...toaster over. The old one was haunted.

Exorcism proved....
  #592  
Old 08-08-2018, 07:37 PM
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the toaster demon diabolically prevented the bagel setting from actually work, so the new one I ordered matches my...
  #593  
Old 08-08-2018, 11:18 PM
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... jumbo bagels.

They are difficult to find, though, so I usually ...
  #594  
Old 08-08-2018, 11:31 PM
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Forego for donuts instead.

My favorite donut tastes like___.
  #595  
Old 08-08-2018, 11:34 PM
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...cat food.

My cat smells like...
  #596  
Old 08-09-2018, 12:28 AM
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... he cannot get enough of whatever he happens to be smelling.

Perhaps I need to stop ...
  #597  
Old 08-09-2018, 01:12 AM
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Spraying perfume on my cats.

Chanel#5 doesn't mix well with______.
  #598  
Old 08-09-2018, 01:38 AM
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... Scotch.

What does mix well with Chanel No. 5 is ...
  #599  
Old 08-09-2018, 02:40 AM
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Love, baby, love!



Love means______.
  #600  
Old 08-09-2018, 02:59 AM
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... never having to say you're sorry.

The problem with those old 1970s movie lines is ...
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