Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #401  
Old 07-25-2018, 10:59 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,811
us drinks and asked where I'd been all his life.

I told him....
  #402  
Old 07-25-2018, 08:00 PM
Patx2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 3,885
I was a drifter, I didn’t like putting down roots.

So I asked him...
  #403  
Old 07-25-2018, 08:03 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 8,420
...his name and in a raspy voice he said "yoda"
Y-O-D-A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

When asked about slime creatures....
  #404  
Old 07-25-2018, 09:20 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
I get out the salt.(hate them slugs).


I made microwave popcorn then______.
  #405  
Old 07-25-2018, 10:02 PM
Ambivalid is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 14,280
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
I made microwave popcorn then______.
Rolled up that broccoli. ��

The only time i will eat broccoli is when it comes with a big, fat_____.

Last edited by Ambivalid; 07-25-2018 at 10:04 PM.
  #406  
Old 07-25-2018, 10:48 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Waitress to serve it to me.


I am terminally______.
  #407  
Old 07-25-2018, 11:15 PM
Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 19,802
... challenged.

Because every time I go to the bus terminal ...
  #408  
Old 07-26-2018, 12:03 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
I find my ship has sailed.


I want to go to_______.
  #409  
Old 07-26-2018, 12:23 AM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 2,210
…the You Like Needles, Do Ya? tattoo parlor.

I just gotta get the name of my girlfriend covered with…
  #410  
Old 07-26-2018, 12:35 AM
Happy Lendervedder's Avatar
Happy Lendervedder is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,412
...something less obscene.

My mom never liked me dating...
  #411  
Old 07-26-2018, 12:50 AM
jepflast is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: None
Posts: 224
...her twin sister, and I suspect she's fooled me a couple of times.

As the hotdog rolled slowly down the steps...
  #412  
Old 07-26-2018, 01:04 AM
Happy Lendervedder's Avatar
Happy Lendervedder is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,412
...I knew my life had changed forever; but then I noticed the mustard stain on my tie.

The riverboat captain and the priest wondered if...
  #413  
Old 07-26-2018, 01:23 AM
Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 19,802
... they'd ever walk into a bar together, and be the subject of a joke.

The captain thought so, but the priest ...
  #414  
Old 07-26-2018, 01:29 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Went out and bought a kangaroo.

I am jumpy because_______.
  #415  
Old 07-26-2018, 01:41 AM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 8,420
...of The 'Nam, man!

During my last tour in country...
  #416  
Old 07-26-2018, 03:34 AM
Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 19,802
... I spent a little too much time at the souvenir stand, and the tour bus left without me.

So, in order to get to my destination, I had to ...
  #417  
Old 07-26-2018, 03:43 AM
sabernode is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 53
...rob a clown in 80s clothing.

He tried to call the cops but, I...
  #418  
Old 07-26-2018, 05:44 AM
RivkahChaya's Avatar
RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by sabernode View Post
...rob a clown in 80s clothing.

He tried to call the cops but, I...
...knocked his phone out of his hand with a move I learned from watching Jackie Chan movies.


That darned cat. . .
  #419  
Old 07-26-2018, 11:02 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,811
was kind of a lame movie - even as Disney goes.

When I'm in the mood for.....
  #420  
Old 07-26-2018, 11:32 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 62,046
...quality entertainment, I read a book.

The best kind of story is...
  #421  
Old 07-26-2018, 02:19 PM
Happy Lendervedder's Avatar
Happy Lendervedder is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,412
...one that has a goat on a train.

The farmer got on his tractor and realized...
  #422  
Old 07-26-2018, 04:36 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 62,046
...he had but a stoat on the train by mistake.


Most railroad engineers prefer...
  #423  
Old 07-26-2018, 05:15 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Blonds. Ask them, you'll see.



I wish I was on the Polar Express because____.
  #424  
Old 07-26-2018, 05:16 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 62,046
...I could really go for some hot chocolate right about now.


I still believe in...
  #425  
Old 07-26-2018, 05:35 PM
RivkahChaya's Avatar
RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
I still believe in...
...Ingrid Bergman not getting on the plane, every damn time I watch the movie.


It is a truth universally acknowledged. . .
  #426  
Old 07-26-2018, 05:43 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
That she bogarted that movie completely.


I never told them to play it______.
  #427  
Old 07-26-2018, 06:42 PM
RivkahChaya's Avatar
RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
I never told them to play it______.
like Dooley. They wouldn't have gotten it.


Here's. . .
  #428  
Old 07-26-2018, 08:04 PM
Patx2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 3,885
lookin’ at you.

You thought I was going to say, here’s...
  #429  
Old 07-26-2018, 08:25 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
The beef.
You thought I was gonna say "Here's ______."
  #430  
Old 07-26-2018, 08:36 PM
CharmaChameleon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Huntsville, Alabama, USA
Posts: 2,329
"Johnny"!

On the other hand Jack might
  #431  
Old 07-26-2018, 09:15 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Be shining you on.


I saw the movie and_______.
  #432  
Old 07-26-2018, 10:30 PM
CharmaChameleon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Huntsville, Alabama, USA
Posts: 2,329
it was mildly awful.

But Shelley Hack was...
  #433  
Old 07-26-2018, 10:50 PM
RivkahChaya's Avatar
RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by CharmaChameleon View Post

But Shelley Hack was...
...mildly awful as Charlie's least talented Angel.


Shelley Duvall, on the other hand. . .
  #434  
Old 07-26-2018, 11:10 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Made Popeye happy.



I told Sweetpea about______.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 07-26-2018 at 11:11 PM.
  #435  
Old 07-27-2018, 12:30 AM
Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 19,802
... that incident where Olive Oyl--well, you know.

And she had a difficult time ...
  #436  
Old 07-27-2018, 12:48 AM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 2,210
...hamburgers dressed with fresh spinach.

Wimpy overheard and tried it. As he swallowed, he said...
  #437  
Old 07-27-2018, 10:40 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
I'll gladly never reimburse you. Yuk!



Bluto gave the best response by_____.
  #438  
Old 07-27-2018, 10:56 PM
CharmaChameleon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Huntsville, Alabama, USA
Posts: 2,329
...belching loudly and striding away.

But Swee'Pea had a different...
  #439  
Old 07-27-2018, 11:54 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Spelling than upthread, but he/she is the same infant.


You can tell_____.
  #440  
Old 07-27-2018, 11:57 PM
Happy Lendervedder's Avatar
Happy Lendervedder is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,412
...a lot about a man by the shine of his trombone.


The kid behind the organ...
  #441  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:09 AM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 8,420
...went missing 4 yrs ago.

The cause of death was determined to be...
  #442  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:20 AM
Happy Lendervedder's Avatar
Happy Lendervedder is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,412
...suffocation by shower curtain.



If the pineapple looks like it's smiling...
  #443  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:25 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Invite him in.

Otherwise fruit cocktail_____.
  #444  
Old 07-28-2018, 05:24 AM
Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 19,802
... would be the default from here on in.

In other news, this little guy had quite the adventure when ...
  #445  
Old 07-28-2018, 05:51 AM
CharmaChameleon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Huntsville, Alabama, USA
Posts: 2,329
... he found only televisions watching him.

Then he only watched back because ...
  #446  
Old 07-28-2018, 08:59 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 62,046
...he craved the attention.

That man went on to become...
  #447  
Old 07-28-2018, 09:58 AM
Happy Lendervedder's Avatar
Happy Lendervedder is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,412
...the smiling pineapple currently relaxing on your davenport.

Now turn off the TV if you want...
  #448  
Old 07-28-2018, 10:38 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 62,046
...and go outside and play.

The friendly neighbors...
  #449  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:03 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 20,773
Are living in a pinespple under the sea.


So we planned a______.
  #450  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:23 PM
RivkahChaya's Avatar
RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
So we planned a______.
fishing trip, and Mai Tais.


Nice hat. . .
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:24 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017