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  #51  
Old 02-14-2020, 07:35 PM
nearwildheaven is offline
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Posts: 13,500
Quote:
Originally Posted by pkbites View Post
One of my first calls I got sent to alone as a new Deputy in the early 80's was a medical incident.

SPOILER:

A womans boyfriend drank himself limp. So he started giving it to her with an empty glass beer bottle. But the pumping motion caused a vacuum along with some kind of involuntary muscle spasm and the bottle got stuck in her 'gina with only about 1 inch of the bottle sticking out, the rest up inside her.
There were marks on her inner thigh from his knee, indicating he braced himself as he tried furiously to pull it out. When I and paramedics arrived she was on her back on the floor screaming at him that he didn't even make her cum. Massive doses of muscle relaxers and sedatives didn't help. She had to go into surgery and they had to get air into the bottle to get it out.


Then there are the numerous choke and stroke (auto erotic asphyxiation) deaths I've responded to. People have really messed themselves up trying to get off. But I've yet to be at one where a lady shot her bean off.
My favorite story from this medical history classic was the one where
SPOILER:
a guy picked up a girl in a bar, but he couldn't get it up because he was so drunk, so she stuck a swizzle stick into his urethra, and not only did that not work, they came to the ER because they couldn't remove it.


https://www.amazon.com/Making-Surgeo.../dp/0922811466

Last edited by nearwildheaven; 02-14-2020 at 07:35 PM. Reason: might be helpful if I posted a link
  #52  
Old 02-15-2020, 09:58 AM
Napier is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Mid Atlantic, USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by terentii View Post
Dynamite stick.
Instead of a prick.
  #53  
Old Today, 01:01 AM
pkbites's Avatar
pkbites is offline
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Location: Majikal Land O' Cheeze!
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Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 View Post
Maybe after an anecdote like that, you omit the .sig line...
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