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  #101  
Old 04-19-2019, 08:57 AM
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Well, paint my tongue yellow and call me a stoat.
  #102  
Old 04-19-2019, 01:14 PM
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Even a buck naked rooster sometimes scores a goal.


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  #103  
Old 04-21-2019, 10:03 PM
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Not all who inhale helium is a chipmunk.
  #104  
Old 04-22-2019, 04:08 AM
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This is going to be messier than the time a skunk tried to mate with a porcupine.
  #105  
Old 04-22-2019, 10:10 AM
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He acted like he was driving a Studebaker in a demolition derby.
  #106  
Old 04-22-2019, 01:12 PM
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He walks around like his pants are full of juice and he's got the only straw.
  #107  
Old 04-22-2019, 01:39 PM
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Ambivalent is as ambivalent does.
  #108  
Old 04-26-2019, 12:35 PM
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He's as welcome as a breadfruit bouquet.
  #109  
Old 04-27-2019, 10:41 PM
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She had eyes like Mrs. Potatohead on a bad day.
  #110  
Old 04-29-2019, 09:32 AM
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When a woman told her children to move their shopping cart full of swimming pool noodles, I sid "Yes. Move your noodles."

From now on, that's what I'm saying to anyone in my way "Move your noodles."
  #111  
Old 04-29-2019, 09:39 AM
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"I just trained that hippo!"

...said after completing a complicated task.
  #112  
Old 04-29-2019, 11:48 AM
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Hijacking is for jets and threads.
  #113  
Old 04-30-2019, 05:22 PM
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Carbuncles and corpuscles!
  #114  
Old 05-01-2019, 01:10 AM
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He is our resident pool noodle.
  #115  
Old 05-01-2019, 08:45 AM
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Well, if that don't peel the paint off your fencepost I don't know what would.
  #116  
Old 05-01-2019, 08:38 PM
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She's like a poodle in a percolator.
  #117  
Old 05-02-2019, 09:08 AM
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She came across as being a real curling iron, if you know what I mean.
  #118  
Old 05-03-2019, 04:53 PM
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He can go piss in a pistol.
  #119  
Old 05-07-2019, 09:13 PM
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Where there's a will there's a death.
  #120  
Old 05-18-2019, 03:47 PM
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He's the type who scratches his nuts while wearing a derby.
  #121  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
When a woman told her children to move their shopping cart full of swimming pool noodles, I sid "Yes. Move your noodles."

From now on, that's what I'm saying to anyone in my way "Move your noodles."
Quote:
Originally Posted by boson View Post
He is our resident pool noodle.
And I am so stealing that one: Stop acting like a pool noodle.
  #122  
Old 06-02-2019, 08:33 PM
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Stay clear of Linda today. Her diapers are full.
  #123  
Old 06-02-2019, 09:35 PM
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Don't skate if the pond ain't froze.
  #124  
Old 06-03-2019, 03:48 PM
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If you don't got floaters, you got ghosts.
  #125  
Old 06-04-2019, 08:07 AM
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I feel like oboe in the brass section.
  #126  
Old 06-15-2019, 01:00 AM
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When all you have is kale, it's time to put it out to pasture.
  #127  
Old 06-15-2019, 01:01 AM
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This is the worst year I've had all week!
  #128  
Old 06-21-2019, 01:25 PM
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Sweet salsa seltzer!


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