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  #1351  
Old 05-10-2019, 01:02 AM
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Right, because soon you are going to bore all your friends and family with your latest pretentious "art" photos.

I like Tabasco sauce.
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  #1352  
Old 05-10-2019, 10:26 AM
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As a lube? OMG!

Hot damn, it's Friday!
  #1353  
Old 05-10-2019, 06:34 PM
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Why get so excited? When you’re unemployed with no friends, one day’s pretty much like another, I’d gather.

Reading a 1970s era novel about a ragtag bunch of characters in the American Southwest.
  #1354  
Old 05-12-2019, 02:13 PM
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You do realize a novel and a picture book are two different things, right?

Its been raining a lot today, I wonder if the road near the creek will be closed.
  #1355  
Old 05-12-2019, 08:50 PM
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Hello, it's the 21st century - stop being so behind the times, and sign up for your local civil defense alert email lists! Then you'd always know whether the road is closed or not.

I get alerts quite often from the County of Hawaii about road closures due to landslides and traffic accidents.
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  #1356  
Old 05-13-2019, 12:25 AM
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Landslides adn traffic accidents often, huh? Why Hawaii again?

I had a very nice Mother's Day.
  #1357  
Old 05-13-2019, 12:56 AM
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I'm glad cause you have a face only a Mother could love.

I'm thrilled with plant I got as a gift.
  #1358  
Old 05-13-2019, 02:11 PM
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...The symbolism of the fact it was a cactus went right over your head, didn't it?

A hawk just flew by my window.
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  #1359  
Old 05-13-2019, 06:57 PM
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Just sitting around staring out the window again, are you? Maybe tomorrow you could try and be productive for an hour or so.

My dogs are adorable.
  #1360  
Old 05-14-2019, 08:17 AM
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And your dogs must think you’re a”dork”able.

Time for that quintessential family and friends get-together, the good old Memorial Day barbecue!
  #1361  
Old 05-14-2019, 08:27 AM
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Let's pollute the air, eat greasy dead animals, get drunk and once again air old family grievances.

I had a nice talk with a friend last night.
  #1362  
Old 05-14-2019, 08:48 AM
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Still trying to convince her about that “assisted suicide” option? Can’t you let her make her own decision?

“Quintessential” refers, since antiquity, to the “fifth essence” that is the mysterious and thus most essential “fifth part” of all things, after the four elements, earth, air, fire, and water.
  #1363  
Old 05-14-2019, 02:54 PM
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Stop trying to impress people about the "5th essence"

Most people would rather watch TV after a long day of work (relaxation)
  #1364  
Old 05-16-2019, 12:14 AM
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Are you pregnant? Because you seem to be missing your periods.

I have an excellent sense of smell.
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  #1365  
Old 05-16-2019, 12:25 AM
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Smell this!


I'm watching a movie.
  #1366  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:30 AM
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Great, is it the “Barney Movie” now, or just the usual porn?

Trying to use a trainer at the gym, but the weight lifting is tough.
  #1367  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:44 AM
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You waste money on a gym and trainer?

After three days of cold, wet rain, it's finally gotten warm and sunny out!
  #1368  
Old 05-16-2019, 08:55 AM
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Wonderful! Now you can properly experience the thrill of avoiding sunlight and fresh air.

Whatever the next person says, they actually mean the opposite.
  #1369  
Old 05-16-2019, 09:03 AM
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Go_Arachnid_Laser is one of the best posters on this board.

I take a walk outside everyday, getting fresh air, sunshine, and exercise.
  #1370  
Old 05-16-2019, 09:25 AM
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What!? This is an outrage.

Those people in the upper peninsula got more snow last week.
  #1371  
Old 05-16-2019, 02:59 PM
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Snow in May? Must be some alternative reality.

I'd rather talk a nice walk along the beach.
  #1372  
Old 05-16-2019, 05:19 PM
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Oh, sure. As if beach erosion is a mere trifle!

The PGA Championship is this weekend.
  #1373  
Old 05-16-2019, 09:55 PM
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Golf, the sport that makes bowling feel exciting!

A very merry unbirthday to you!
  #1374  
Old 05-16-2019, 10:01 PM
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A sly hint, maybe? No one remembered again, huh?


I've been sweating all day. I need a shower.
  #1375  
Old 05-17-2019, 01:43 PM
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Ugh. You don't have to tell us.


I hate my computer.
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  #1376  
Old 05-19-2019, 09:33 AM
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So either you hate inanimate objects (about as dumb as being depressed by your coffee maker) or you are jealous of its superior intelligence compared to yours.

Just heard Wild Thing by Tone Loc on the Classic Rock channel on the radio.
  #1377  
Old 05-19-2019, 10:15 AM
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It was Funky Cold Medina.

I was nicknamed Wild Man by my Little League coach.
  #1378  
Old 05-23-2019, 11:58 AM
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And now you go by a board name inspired by our worst President? Really?

I so hope the Bruins give Boston a third sports title this year.
  #1379  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:46 PM
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Do they cheat too, or is that just the Pats?

Ive rested my leg for two weeks; time to see if my hamstring has healed.
  #1380  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:54 PM
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The hamstring you injured during strenuous.....eh, physical activity? Without wearing any clothes?

Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant is 50 years old this year.
  #1381  
Old 05-23-2019, 06:55 PM
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Yeah? Well, I couldn't get a cup of covfefe there!

I bought a tomato plant the other day.
  #1382  
Old 05-23-2019, 07:35 PM
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Thus doing your part to help Monsanto buy out or bankrupt all independent family farms. Why do you hate America?

Leg feels pretty good, after a seven-mile run!
  #1383  
Old 05-23-2019, 07:43 PM
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Petting your poor dog's leg, after you forced him to run 7 miles back home?

Jukebox movies seem popular these days.
  #1384  
Old 05-23-2019, 08:01 PM
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That's RACIST!

I think..
  #1385  
Old 05-24-2019, 01:09 AM
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DO YOU? I mean, don’t strain yourself much!

We had hail the size of BB shot coming down for 15 minutes straight yesterday, what crazy weather!
  #1386  
Old 05-24-2019, 02:05 AM
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Did you? Oh my God. When I was a kid we had hail the size of watermelons. Entire buildings were flattened every winter. But did we complain about it? No! Because we weren't snowflakes, like your generation.

The countries in the continent of Oceania are: Australia, Federated States of Micronesia, Fiji, Kiribati, Marshall Islands, Nauru, New Zealand, Palau, Papua New Guinea, Samoa, Solomon Islands, Tonga, Tuvalu, Vanuatu
  #1387  
Old 05-24-2019, 02:19 AM
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Yeah, playing with the world atlas app gets you out of working. A-gain. Really?


I'd love to be on a slow boat to somewhere.
  #1388  
Old 05-24-2019, 07:54 AM
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Typical of you: No direction; no ambition; polluter of the environment.

Some of those TV "Real Housewives" aren't married!
  #1389  
Old 05-24-2019, 08:44 AM
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Well color me SHOCKED!! You mean “reality TV” isn’t REAL? Oh NOES! Too bad the actual real world had to come by and BURST YOUR UNREALITY BUBBLE!!

Drinking a cup of coffee, eating an English muffin, having a quiet relaxing morning, before going to work...
  #1390  
Old 05-24-2019, 08:57 AM
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Coffee has caffeine, English muffin is made with white flour...what's quiet and relaxing about that?

Got the newest Leslie Meier cozy mystery to read over the weekend.
  #1391  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:11 AM
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A cozy mystery eh? Probably full of grotesque serial killings, with a gratuitous dumb romance and political blabber tossed in, plus the “solution” is a character from page 50 and then not back for another 300 pages. Agatha Christie is spinning in her grave.

I liked reading Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass , when I was younger.
  #1392  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:28 AM
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So you’re saying you’re a fan of a pedophile photographer?

My city is bracing for temperatures near the century mark this weekend.
  #1393  
Old 05-26-2019, 12:47 AM
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And you still deny that the globe is warming. Who needs science.

My partner kinda irritated me today.
  #1394  
Old 05-26-2019, 01:46 AM
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Yeah. STDs are kinda itchy, right? Ouch.

Went to a local farm today, for a lavender festival, walked through lavender fields, smelled lavender oils, ate lavender infused wine and cheese- nice.
  #1395  
Old 05-26-2019, 02:18 AM
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I have to thank you, edspellman, for using euphemisms in case a minor read your post. I think that replacing "the derelict building where my dealer lives" and "meth pipe" with boring-sounding words was a good idea.

"One could do worse than be a swinger of birches."
  #1396  
Old 05-26-2019, 05:11 AM
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Yes, one could take the road not usually taken, but nooooo! YOU have to go play and shirk all your responsibilities!

Winter came, and it landed like a lead, or iron, balloon.
  #1397  
Old 05-26-2019, 12:17 PM
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GOT means Get Over That! It’s done, fini, kaput - time to MOVE ON, to what’s left of your life!

Emilia Clarke required treatment for 2 brain aneurysms, and recovering from this, while performing in a weekly series, the 1st season.
  #1398  
Old 06-01-2019, 11:38 PM
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Time to get your nose out of the fan mags, stop being a groupie, and do something useful. Like clean your house. Ever thought of that?

I bought a bird bath.
  #1399  
Old 06-02-2019, 10:37 AM
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Those birds will be so clean, cleaner than you’ve EVER been! Phew!

My daughter’s leaving her dog with us to “dog sit”, we had to hide all the tennis balls or he’d chase them all day.
  #1400  
Old 06-02-2019, 06:26 PM
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At your age, you probably wont remember where you hid them.
I just ate a sticky bun, it was delicious.
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