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  #201  
Old 04-28-2018, 12:10 PM
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Try to have a little bit more empathy for those that maybe cannot have dogs because of allergies or even because they cannot afford to feed and taken care of themselves, much less an animal. Or people who have a disability, injury, or illness caused by a dog.It's really not all about you, ya know!

There's a library book sale in two weeks. I can't wait!
  #202  
Old 04-29-2018, 06:30 AM
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REALLY? CLOUDS?

PSHHHHHHHHHHHH... acting like you actually care about the environment

I love penguins!
  #203  
Old 04-29-2018, 09:57 AM
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You just can't wait to Lord it over those of us who can't read, huh? Well I hope you use one of those books to lead an unfortunate person toward the path of literacy.

Since the weather's lousy, I think I'll stop by Boobs are Us today and have a few beers.
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Last edited by Thin Ice; 04-29-2018 at 09:57 AM.
  #204  
Old 04-29-2018, 01:47 PM
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I’d love to have nothing better to do today except go to the bar and have a few beers. In fact, I’d freaking love it, problem is, like most people, I have responsibilities that take precedence. Get a real life.

I’ve already got tomorrow’s dinner made, I just need to pop it in the oven after work.
  #205  
Old 04-29-2018, 08:37 PM
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Kraft Mac & Cheese only takes 5 minutes to make, you know. Now, thanks to your impatience, you get to eat a dried out version tomorrow that barely tastes better than the cardboard it came in.

MST3K repeats are still funny.
  #206  
Old 04-29-2018, 10:35 PM
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Way to go Make a joke I can't understand.


My favorite program is on TV.
  #207  
Old 04-29-2018, 11:23 PM
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Could you at least post a screenshot, or take a picture with your phone?? How are we supposed to nitpick your favorite show, offer useless opinions or throw out irrelevant advice if you don't at least mention the show, episode and season?

Sorry, I thought that we were in General Questions....

Last edited by cornflakes; 04-29-2018 at 11:24 PM.
  #208  
Old 04-30-2018, 08:16 AM
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Way to go, Hawking. I think a prime indicator that this wasn't GQ is that she didn't ask a question.

Things are looking up for the Koreas.
  #209  
Old 04-30-2018, 03:35 PM
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And, how exactly, do you know that? Are you some sort of expert on Korean affairs? Maybe you are just being overwhelmed by fake news.

I hope I’m not getting a cold.
  #210  
Old 04-30-2018, 10:26 PM
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I have never EVER heard of someone WANTING a cold. Of course you don’t want a cold. You don’t want your eye jabbed either do ya? Are you gonna tell us about that, too?
Come on, dude, StraightDope isn’t for dopes.

My polyps are benign.
  #211  
Old 04-30-2018, 10:45 PM
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Way to gross us out with TMI.



I have a sparkly new pedicure!
  #212  
Old 05-01-2018, 07:55 AM
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Huh, I guess I didn't realize they allow 14 year old girls to post here.

My favorite animals to watch at the zoo are the monkeys.
  #213  
Old 05-01-2018, 08:21 AM
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Great. Another person who gets off on monkeys in public masturbating and having coitus.

Big Bang's next two episodes promise to be great!
  #214  
Old 05-01-2018, 04:51 PM
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Are they going to be performed in black face? They might as well what with the nerd face they already use to oppress and humiliate the nerds or the world.

It "rained" here today. And by that I mean "sprinkled slightly". Which of course caused everyone to drive like idiots into each other.
  #215  
Old 05-01-2018, 07:26 PM
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Who exactly made you the town sheriff? Maybe you should pay more attention to your own driving.

Today was gorgeous, but tomorrow and the rest of the week are going to be too warm, too soon.
  #216  
Old 05-01-2018, 08:00 PM
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What? You like paying heating bills or something.


I made a pineapple cake. Yummy!
  #217  
Old 05-01-2018, 08:02 PM
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MY father was raped and murdered by a pineapple cake. I hope you choke.

But also, pineapple cake sounds tasty!
  #218  
Old 05-02-2018, 01:19 AM
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Such kind words for the cake that ravaged your father, Mr Oedipus by Proxy. Got anything to say about Mom?

Subtle simplicity, it's always the best path....
  #219  
Old 05-02-2018, 07:17 AM
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Pretentious much? Gwyneth Paltrow called, she wants the stick up her ass back.

The snack bar has blueberry yogurt with crunchy granola topping! Mmmm! Yum!

Last edited by Knowed Out; 05-02-2018 at 07:17 AM.
  #220  
Old 05-03-2018, 12:04 AM
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That stuff is so high in sugar. You've been conned by the food industry. Ever heard of reading ingredients?

I am going to write an article for the neighborhood online newsletter tomorrow.
  #221  
Old 05-03-2018, 07:04 AM
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Let's blow a fanfare and roll out the red carpet for our resident celebrity!

I sure do like grits

Last edited by Cardigan; 05-03-2018 at 07:04 AM.
  #222  
Old 05-03-2018, 07:13 AM
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Why don't you just eat a jar of paste? It's the same thing.

The screen saver sure makes some pretty patterns.
  #223  
Old 05-03-2018, 07:30 AM
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Set the pipe down, you...you.....hippy!

It's so difficult to remember the name Myanmar. I wish they'd change it back to Burma.
  #224  
Old 05-04-2018, 10:10 AM
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Oh sure, take the side of the imperialist British conquerors who couldn't be bothered to learn how to pronounce the country's proper name so they came up with "Burma." Like there isn't enough civil war there already.

Sky rockets in flight... afternoon delight...
  #225  
Old 05-04-2018, 11:06 AM
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Stop with the coy references to your daytime sexual adventures. It's highly insensitive to those of us who don't have a partner we could canoodle with in the afternoon.

It's time for my morning run.
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  #226  
Old 05-04-2018, 11:59 AM
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So, YOU'RE one of those jerks who nearly knocks me over every morning while getting your stupid "runner's high." Hope you step in dog poop and then break your ankle.


I just ordered a really nice bouquet for my Mom, for Mother's Day.
  #227  
Old 05-04-2018, 12:56 PM
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Yet another fool who buys into the whole stereotypical 'girls like flowers and boys like monster trucks' gender role thing. The world is more nuanced than that, Pal!

Ah, the weekend will soon be here and it's supposed to be nice outside. I'll have to bust out the lawn chair and read some Shakespeare.
  #228  
Old 05-04-2018, 04:31 PM
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How about busting out the lawn mower and getting some real work done. Oh wait, then you wouldn’t have time to read Shakespeare, you’d be too busy reading the instruction manual.

I feel like my hair is growing like a weed.
  #229  
Old 05-04-2018, 05:08 PM
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Someone always has to bring up the topic of weed! I'm sick of it. It's all over the news constantly. Does everything always have to resort to drugs?!
Well though....when is it finally going to be legalized?!

I'm glad it's Friday.
  #230  
Old 05-04-2018, 10:51 PM
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What? You don’t want to say, “Thank God it’s Friday”? Are you afraid you are going to offend someone? Afraid to mention God? Or are you one of those atheists? You know, one of those people who war without a noble cause.

I’ve got to let my belt out a notch but this week’s meals were worth it.
  #231  
Old 05-04-2018, 10:59 PM
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You slob, you. Go on a diet.


I had a massage today.
  #232  
Old 05-05-2018, 10:12 AM
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I bet it had a "happy ending," you perv.

I just renewed my Straight Dope Message Boards subscription

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 05-05-2018 at 10:12 AM.
  #233  
Old 05-05-2018, 10:52 AM
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Oh, so you get to keep your cherished widdle title, you precious snowflake you. :barf:


I have lost 8 pounds this year.
  #234  
Old 05-05-2018, 12:30 PM
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Well I found it, on your ass!


Ah, Saturday! Lazy day for me.
  #235  
Old 05-05-2018, 03:08 PM
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Was that an attempt at humor? We know the other 6 days are on your lazy list, too.

I’m looking forward to watching the Kentucky Derby later today.
  #236  
Old 05-06-2018, 09:46 PM
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Horse racing is just enslaving innocent animals for human amusement. People like you who encourage it are disgusting.

My neck itches.
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  #237  
Old 05-07-2018, 08:20 AM
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Maybe you should wash it once in a while.

I found some KFC coupons on my morning walk.
  #238  
Old 05-07-2018, 01:25 PM
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And instead of leaving them for some poor deserving person who needed help with their food budget, you snatched them up, didn't you? I bet you don't even use them.

This thread amuses me.
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  #239  
Old 05-07-2018, 02:44 PM
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Oh so you think I'm funny? I'm funny how? Funny, like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? Whattya you mean funny? How am I funny, huh!?

Joe Pesci certainly was a skilled actor.
  #240  
Old 05-07-2018, 07:26 PM
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So now your an expert on acting? I don’t recall anyone in the room asking for your opinion.

I had an unexpectedly easy day at work today.
  #241  
Old 05-07-2018, 09:38 PM
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Sleeping under your desk again, Costanza?

Time to hit the hay.
  #242  
Old 05-07-2018, 10:06 PM
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Don't be so abusive!



I ate cereal for supper.
  #243  
Old 05-07-2018, 10:56 PM
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Cereal was the name of my pet pig--he's been missing since last week!

Today was a beautiful day at the park!
  #244  
Old 05-07-2018, 10:56 PM
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And how thoughtless of you to ignore all those people around the world who don't have access to a park. How selfish you are.

I'm going to the local animal shelter to adopt a cat as soon as I can!
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Last edited by CairoCarol; 05-07-2018 at 10:57 PM. Reason: ninja'd
  #245  
Old 05-08-2018, 08:11 AM
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Cats are agents of the devil, and that makes you a witch, and the Bible says witches should be killed!

I just had the best 7-eleven coffee and a lemon muffin.
  #246  
Old 05-08-2018, 09:27 AM
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I’m hungry right now, so how do you think that makes me feel. Besides, I would’ve rathered a blueberry muffin, not that you bothered to ask.

I need to leave for work in about 45 minutes.
  #247  
Old 05-08-2018, 09:43 PM
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You "need" to? What makes you think we want to hear about your needs? What about other people's needs, huh?

I think I'll walk up to the post office now.
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  #248  
Old 05-08-2018, 09:49 PM
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Jeez, what century are you living in? Wake up, the years are flying by.

My college student made straight 'A's!
  #249  
Old 05-09-2018, 12:41 AM
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Yeah, and you college student isn’t gonna have a life. Future dinner table conversation: (crickets).


I was relieved of jury duty after one day. I really wanted to get on a jury.
  #250  
Old 05-09-2018, 08:10 AM
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So you could hear all the juicy details of the sex pervert's case ,and still find him innocent?

I got Rachel Carson's Silent Spring in the library's free book box. I haven't read it till now.
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