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Old 03-21-2019, 03:25 PM
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Invent an Expression (there are rules, please read the OP)


It occurs to me that lots of common expressions sound interesting but make little or no sense. It also occurs to me that someone, somewhere, was the first person to utter “I don’t know whether to shit or go blind”.

So let’s play Create an Expression. Let’s be that first person.

The Rules:
1. One expression per post (but you may post as often as you like).
2. Your expression must be original and new. It must have been created for the purpose of inclusion into this thread.
3. It does not have to make sense, just have a nice “ring” to it.
4. If it doesn’t make sense, one should be able to recognize in what context it could work.
5. Have fun and hey…hey…let’s be careful out there!

I will get us started with a couple momentarily.


mmm
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Old 03-21-2019, 03:26 PM
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‘Well whack me with a dildo and roll me down a hill!”
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Old 03-21-2019, 03:27 PM
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“He thinks the sun shines brighter every time he wipes his ass.”
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Old 03-21-2019, 03:31 PM
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Well if that don't beat a mule a-runnin'
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Old 03-21-2019, 03:34 PM
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"Cheating in the blue corridor!"

- tribute to one of my sisters who inexplicably invented that when we were kids, except with the word "lane" rather than "corridor"
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Old 03-21-2019, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Covfefe View Post
"Cheating in the blue corridor!"

- tribute to one of my sisters who inexplicably invented that when we were kids, except with the word "lane" rather than "corridor"
Gotta call foul. (read the OP)
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Old 03-21-2019, 04:27 PM
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I did read it. I guess the objection is if I don't follow the rules to letter others might too? Okay. I...should eat my water bottle with a straw for that.
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Old 03-21-2019, 04:43 PM
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Old 03-21-2019, 04:54 PM
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Drink the drink the drinker's drink!
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Old 03-21-2019, 04:56 PM
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I'm madder than a bluefly in a Gucci dress!
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Old 03-21-2019, 05:48 PM
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Now that's a half an idea we didn't need!
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Old 03-21-2019, 11:04 PM
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You're so gone dead flies wouldn't light on you in a graveyard.
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Old 03-22-2019, 04:36 AM
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He ain't worth a whisker on a whistle.
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Old 03-22-2019, 07:34 AM
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Old 03-22-2019, 07:57 AM
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Old 03-22-2019, 08:02 AM
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I know. I have virtual vision.
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Old 03-22-2019, 08:05 AM
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Old 03-22-2019, 08:08 AM
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If I said I believed that you'd call me a Dutchman.
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Old 03-22-2019, 08:57 AM
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He has snakes in the basement
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Old 03-22-2019, 09:08 AM
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He likes pan-seared trout, if you know what I mean.
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Old 03-22-2019, 10:25 AM
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You mean that he makes a noise when he blinks. I get it.
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Old 03-22-2019, 02:26 PM
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That's like saying you're bigger than a turkey but smaller than a bear.
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Old 03-22-2019, 11:46 PM
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You look more like you do now than the last time I saw you. (thanks to Aunt Polly)
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Old 03-23-2019, 01:42 AM
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Great, another wet marsupial ho can't read the rules.
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Old 03-23-2019, 01:47 AM
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Old 03-23-2019, 02:50 AM
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My frog has cheese. (for tuning a uke)
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Old 03-23-2019, 02:00 PM
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Well, butter my toast and call me Aristotle!
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Old 03-23-2019, 05:06 PM
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Old 03-23-2019, 05:15 PM
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He's the kind of burrito you don't find on a menu.
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Old 03-24-2019, 04:55 PM
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If I had a Ford for every time I heard that I'd be driving a Toyota
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Old 03-24-2019, 05:08 PM
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Well, grout my joints and call me a patio!
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Old 03-24-2019, 05:17 PM
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Old 03-24-2019, 07:51 PM
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Old 03-25-2019, 04:39 AM
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If you bring guacamole to a peckerhead he's gonna dip that chip.
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:35 AM
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:35 AM
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You can never go wrong choosing Curtain #3.
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:40 AM
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If you think you smell bacon, it might be time to crack a few eggs.
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:44 AM
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:45 AM
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It was a Houghton-Mifflin kind of weekend
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:47 AM
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A wise traveller knows that an oasis can be a mirage.
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Old 03-25-2019, 05:34 PM
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Chicken noodle soup ain't gonna pay the mortgage.
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Old 03-26-2019, 07:35 AM
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Old 03-26-2019, 10:37 AM
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Old 03-26-2019, 12:51 PM
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He's as truthful as Jussie Smolett. And as lucky.
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Old 03-26-2019, 01:08 PM
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This doesn't work anymore. it's completely broken. This is Straight Dope search box bad.
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Old 03-26-2019, 05:32 PM
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She's got a Burger King brain but a Taco Bell soul.
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Old 03-26-2019, 05:53 PM
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Old 03-26-2019, 06:26 PM
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If you can stand tall against a sea of troubles, and wading in, come out dry upon the other shore, well, then, how 'bout that.
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Old 03-27-2019, 02:49 AM
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I'd stick oatmeal in my underwear before I'd do a thing like that.
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Old 03-27-2019, 04:43 AM
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Well carve my face and call me pumpkin.
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