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  #51  
Old 04-07-2019, 03:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Tan View Post
But often I hear people in the break room who've tried every diet fad on earth and are picky eaters complain about how they are allergic to gluten or whatever. That way, those with real problems are being taken less seriously.
Yeah. I really hate the maladie du jour people. Maybe I should start a thread about those assholes. Except I've called them assholes in a lot of threads and they still have the nerve to exist! Which is another reason not to try to force unwanted food on people. Who the fuck cares if some airheaded ninny is trying a nothing but oranges and oyster mushroom diet? That is their problem. If they don't want to eat something don't insist - it's not like underweight people are a problem in most of the world these days, quite the contrary. If guy named D'Asshole wants to subsist on bile and badger pubic hair let him (as a hypothetical example).

Because I really liked it, here's the Tea Video again, which applies just as much to food as to tea or sex.

Quote:
If you're a picky eater or don't like a particular flavor, say so and own it.
^ This.

And, by the way, when an adult says "I don't like broccoli and I don't want to eat it" that should also be respected. Having control and ownership of your own body includes deciding what should and shouldn't go into it.

I'm totally OK with saying I don't like cilantro or yogurt. I don't. Eating them won't kill me, though, or even make me ill. The worst that happens is I try it and say "Nope, still don't like it."

On the other hand, lentils or tomatoes CAN kill me - and tomatoes nearly did so twice. There was the "I Didn't Use Tomatoes in the Stew I Used Ketchup Instead" debacle and another incident when someone thought wiping ketchup off a hamburger made it safe - you know you're in trouble when you get to the ER and the triage nurse hits a panic button before you get more than three gasping syllables out, they don't ask you anything, not even name and insurance, just bodily lift you onto a gurney and start stabbing you with syringes. Zero wait time at the ER is what is called a Very Bad Sign.

But hey, what would actual trained medical personnel know, right? Including the one on this thread who has actually met me in real life.
  #52  
Old 04-07-2019, 03:55 AM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
There's a difference between an allergy, and an aversion. A lot of people on the internet confuse the two.

I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
If you don't know that, you clearly didn't read her OP. Or you're such a level of stupid you somehow can manage to string complete sentences without having any understanding of the individual words.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
There are also medical conditions that are not allergies that still make certain foods deadly. And most folks have no clue as to what an allergy actually even is, so most people asking the question aren't equipped to understand the answer.
Yup. The triggers (both airborne and foods) for my asthma and rhinitis are officially Not Allergies. That doesn't mean that a preference for Being Able To Breathe is something I just happen to be picky about.
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Last edited by Nava; 04-07-2019 at 03:58 AM.
  #53  
Old 04-07-2019, 06:21 AM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
Next youíre going to tell me that Rodney Dangerfield didnít ACTUALLY get a free bowl of soup if you buy an ugly golf hat. Why donít you go drive by his grave and lob a few smelly farts in the form of questions to make his cemetery worse for your presence, instead of doing it here?
  #54  
Old 04-07-2019, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
And you're a feculent little nugget of billy goat smegma trying to pass yourself off as artisanal cheese. Broomie's got 1000 x the board cred that you have. Her posts about aviation are spot on (says me, former pilot and Boeing N2S3 owner), as are her statements about the disease of addiction, and her general medical knowledge is superior for any layperson. I post this info not for your edification, as you've evinced no capability in the past to learn from your many errors; I post it for those SDMBers who may not recognize what a truly wonderful gem of a poster we have in Broomstick, and also to warn those same dopers to not sample any exotic cheeses without my personal recommendation. Now they've been duly warned.
  #55  
Old 04-07-2019, 11:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
And you're a feculent little nugget of billy goat smegma trying to pass yourself off as artisanal cheese. Broomie's got 1000 x the board cred that you have. Her posts about aviation are spot on (says me, former pilot and Boeing N2S3 owner), as are her statements about the disease of addiction, and her general medical knowledge is superior for any layperson. I post this info not for your edification, as you've evinced no capability in the past to learn from your many errors; I post it for those SDMBers who may not recognize what a truly wonderful gem of a poster we have in Broomstick, and also to warn those same dopers to not sample any exotic cheeses without my personal recommendation. Now they've been duly warned.
High praise for one admirable and distinguished Doper, from another. Iíd love to be able to inspire such accolades.

Hmmmm...


Hey, DíAnconia, do me next!
  #56  
Old 04-07-2019, 12:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
And you're a feculent little nugget of billy goat smegma trying to pass yourself off as artisanal cheese.
Damn. Being such an asshole you even manage to piss off Qadgop is a rare achievement (albeit a negative one). And this is the best cheese-based insult I have ever seen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Anconia
I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
The reason you asked is because you saw an opportunity to attack another poster for no good reason, but didn't have the balls to do it directly.

Last edited by Colibri; 04-07-2019 at 12:08 PM.
  #57  
Old 04-07-2019, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
The reason you asked is because you saw an opportunity to attack another poster for no good reason, but didn't have the balls to do it directly.
The reason he had for attacking her is because she has a posting history that outs her as not caring for conservatives/libertarians/Randians/radical reactionaries in positions of policy-making power very much.

That's a perfectly cromulent reason from the perspective of a shitheel such as he.

ETA: That said, I DO recognize that "cromulent" and "good" are not interchangeable terms.

Last edited by kaylasdad99; 04-07-2019 at 12:36 PM.
  #58  
Old 04-07-2019, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by nearwildheaven View Post
I have a friend who reacts violently to coconut, as in she vomits immediately. More than once, she's had this reaction, and whoever made it or brought it said, "Oh, I didn't think it would hurt you because it was made with coconut oil, and that's healthy."
I absolutely detest this ... palm/coconut/'tropical oils' give me diarrhea ... and believe me, NOT FUN. While the average 2 or 3 hour case of the runs isn't dangerous, I have a newfound respect for the runs having been put in hospital for serious unstoppable runs [thanks to chemo and radiation, my entire digestive tract was effectively raw and seeping interstitial fluid straight out, there is no stopping that type of diarrhea other than holding off the radiation and chemo long enough for the gut lining to heal up enough to stp seeping, as in 6 bags of potassium laced IV a day running into me and pretty much directly out ...]
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Originally Posted by Voyager View Post
Ever think your neighbor does want to kill you?

I'm not allergic to foods, but I went on a lot of work trips with someone who was deathly allergic to shellfish of all kinds, so I get it. He had to be very careful that the waters got it, and it wasn't just a preference. He did have an experience like yours where someone didn't believe him. With very bad consequences.
It was especially fun in Tokyo.
I had to gently explain to someone why they need to avoid "oriental flavor" food products when serving food to me, an allergy to shellfish, trash shellfish being used frequently to make fish sauce, most commercial US/Euro seafood prepared foods as frequently clam juice is used to boost the seafood flavor. Though I tend to avoid most pacific rim foods - the most common food flavors tend to have coconut milk or fish sauce as a major component [I desperately would love to visit Thailand, Malaysia and many of the other really wonderful vacation spots ... but what do I do, bring all my own food or pray that they all listen to me and NOT prepare foods traditionally so they don't poison me ... ]
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  #59  
Old 04-07-2019, 03:29 PM
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If someone says "I can't eat such-and-such", and I do not know whether that's an allergy, an enzyme deficiency, some other medical intolerance, or just a strong gustatory dislike, do you know what my appropriate response is?

Here's a hint: My appropriate response is not to grill them about just which of these conditions they have, and whether they're certain of it. They might not even know the answer (I've long since given up on explaining to people that I'm not allergic to alcohol, but intolerant of it). The appropriate response is simply to not serve that person any of that food. And if you're unsure of whether what you're serving contains the problem ingredient, or if it's in large enough quantities to be a problem, the appropriate response is to say "This contains X. Is that a problem?". The answer might be "No, none at all", or it might be "Maybe only a small serving", or it might be "In that form, it's OK, just don't _____", and whatever it is, I should respect that.
  #60  
Old 04-07-2019, 07:10 PM
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But what if itís green eggs and ham?

You do not like them, so you say. Try them! Try them! And you may.
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  #61  
Old 04-08-2019, 10:50 AM
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Do eggs with greenish yolks count? I'm OK with that... I mean, I prefer perfectly sunny-yellow oaks but the greenish thing is OK. And ham is OK.

But I ain't never trying no green ham...
  #62  
Old 04-08-2019, 12:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
You are really a jerk.
Agreed. In fact, the majority of us seem to agree that D'Anconia is a jerk who seeks no other purpose here than to beóexactlyóa jerk.

If only we had a rule about being a jerk...
  #63  
Old 04-08-2019, 12:12 PM
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It's like a weird power and control issue for some people--I'm lucky in that the people I choose to spend time with are sensitive to others and don't make a big friggin' deal out of dietary restrictions regardless of the origin. Although we do get really judgy on our one friend who had her pancreas removed, doesn't test her blood sugars often enough and is therefore all over the scale and who goes out to breakfast and wants nothing but carbs--with syrup. Her we rag on because she gone kill herself with her fork if she doesn't pay attention and wise up.

But yeah, people who just can't take no for an answer are super irritating. I'm on restricted carbs and if someone tries to push cake or the like on me I just say "Sorry, that's not in my food plan" and refuse to engage further on the subject. It doesn't really matter if someone doesn't eat something because it makes them feel queasy, or they just don't like it or they go into anaphylactic shock--well, it DOES but only in severity. My BFF won't touch any sort of fish or shellfish and she's very non-adventurous about even slightly unusual meats so lamb is off the table. Just means I don't invite her over when I'm grilling salmon or have a leg of lamb in the oven. I did have to have a word with her about doing the "Eww YUCK!" thing when I eat things she doesn't like--she wasn't aware how often she was doing it and when called on it she stopped doing it because it really is rude to be audibly critical of another person's food preferences.

If I'm cooking for a group I ask if there are any allergies/aversions I should know about and especially if any of the reactions are severe enough to warrant keeping an Epi-Pen around. I've cooked banquets for hundreds of people and haven't killed anyone yet and I don't aim to start now.
  #64  
Old 04-08-2019, 12:52 PM
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I'm reminded of a quote I read in Lora Brody's Entertainment Survival Guide: For any number of reasons, a guest might refuse your offer of an alcoholic drink. The reason doesn't have to be explained to anyone, including you.

I'm a non-drinking vegetarian. I just say "No." If anyone asks me why, I say "No, and I don't have to explain myself to you."
  #65  
Old 04-08-2019, 12:53 PM
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Getting back to the OP: There are people who do things for others not because they want to help, but because they want to feel good about themselves. Broomstick's neighbor sounds like one of these. It explains the angry reaction when the offer of food is refused—Broomstick is harming the neighbor's self-image.

This thread reminds me of this one by Ambivalid, in that it's about someone who insists on "helping" someone who explicitly says "No." That thread involved a lot of argument about whether Ambivalid was rude, but the principle is the same: don't assume you know what others want better than they do, and don't insist on "helping" when the help isn't wanted.
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  #66  
Old 04-08-2019, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Tan View Post
Not to defend D'Asshole, nor to berate Broomie, but...

"It must be organic!"
"No gluten!!!"
"Lactose free!"
"I won't eat processed food"
ASF.

I tend to see that as the beginning of a slippery slope that leads to anti-vaxxers and measles outbreaks. I have friends who have some serious allergies and am myself ridden by a severe, it not life threatening, auto-immune disorder.
But often I hear people in the break room who've tried every diet fad on earth and are picky eaters complain about how they are allergic to gluten or whatever. That way, those with real problems are being taken less seriously.

If you're a picky eater or don't like a particular flavor, say so and own it.


Now - the next asshole that says: "But try cilantro again, you'll grow to like it," will get lutefisk stuffed in their mouth.
If the problem is that fakers might make people take people with real issues less seriously, then the solution can't be accuse everyone who claims issues of being a faker.
  #67  
Old 04-08-2019, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Broomstick View Post
Another incident when someone thought wiping ketchup off a hamburger made it safe
Ugh. Hate that one. I won't name the place, as they've since apologized and given me free food, but a restaurant around here tried that shit on me.

I am, however, grateful for the gluten-free fad, as people who consume it voluntarily mean more for the rest of us. Just not when they say they have to be gluten free and then just pick stuff out of their food, or say "it's okay this once."
  #68  
Old 04-09-2019, 10:22 AM
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Seconding what Jeff Lichtman said some do-gooders more interested in feeling good about themselves than in helping the person they are 'doing good' for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry David Thoreau
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.
Maybe Broomstick can print that out on some fancy vellum and nail it to her door (ala Martin Luther).
  #69  
Old 04-11-2019, 08:03 AM
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First off, I think D'anconia is a jerk who doesn't know when to quit.... can I join the club?

But Charlie Tan has a point. My cousin's son has Celiac Disease. Not a fad diet, not an aversion, not something trendy. He has real medical issues with gluten. He spent a lot of his childhood going back and forth to Toronto's Sick Kid's hospital (no joke when it is an airline flight away, and money is tight...yes she gets reimbursed but getting there in the first place?)

With all these Wheat Belly books and diets and low carb things, it makes it harder for her son to be taken seriously. I wish I could make people understand the difference between "I prefer not to eat something, and it will tear holes in my gut and make me violently ill and I will probably end up with a colostomy bag before i"m 30."

But only the truly crass calls someone out on it a) publicly, b) when they have already said "Anaphylaxis" c) double down and make the attack personal when they are called out on it.
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  #70  
Old 04-11-2019, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
I'm reminded of a quote I read in Lora Brody's Entertainment Survival Guide: For any number of reasons, a guest might refuse your offer of an alcoholic drink. The reason doesn't have to be explained to anyone, including you.

I'm a non-drinking vegetarian. I just say "No." If anyone asks me why, I say "No, and I don't have to explain myself to you."
I was happily surprised when I went out with coworkers yesterday. One recommended a local alcoholic delicacy, I said I don't drink alcohol and the response was "oh, ok" and a recommendation for a local non-alcoholic delicacy.

What sucks is that such behavior is what should be normal, but I'm so used to getting "what? why?" and "but you have to!" that I was, as I said, happily surprised.




ETA: are there any non-alcoholic cocktails which don't raise your blood sugar just from smelling the glass? I guess I should ask in CS...
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Last edited by Nava; 04-11-2019 at 10:11 AM.
  #71  
Old 04-11-2019, 10:22 AM
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In this episode of The Whisk(e)y Tribe, the two hosts review a non-alcoholic whiskey. They were... not enthusiastic.
  #72  
Old 04-11-2019, 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
I hate when people don't believe you and have to question what you put into your own body. I had this same question from a co-worker when she noticed I didn't participate in food she brought in for someone's birthday.
I usually just say I'm allergic to dairy to end the conversation, but some people refuse to believe it, so they go into the whole "are you diagnosed" line of interrogation and I have to sit there and explain to a nosey person that I am lactose intolerant, and the diagnosis from my doctor came in the form of her telling me to avoid dairy for 2 weeks and if the symptoms went away then that was the problem. Please just accept the fact that I am not going to try your family dessert recipe and it is not an insult to you.
And asking follow up questions like "what happens when you eat dairy" is not something you want to hear the answer to while you are eating.
  #73  
Old 04-11-2019, 12:21 PM
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And asking follow up questions like "what happens when you eat dairy" is not something you want to hear the answer to while you are eating.
Yes it is. They're asking for it.

  #74  
Old 04-11-2019, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Broomstick View Post
While in real life I often bite my tongue/grit my teeth over this, I have got to let it out.

Awhile back I did my new downstairs neighbor a favor. I told her there was no need to repay me. She insists. She insists by trying to cook for me even though I have explained I have very, very serious food allergies and really, please, DO NOT do this. ...

Honestly I don't get the extreme upset. Yes, it would be nice if there weren't well intended idiots in the world but hey they're better than ill-intended idiots!

She thinks you are just being gracious and would actually really appreciate her amazing cooking. She feels a need to say thanks in the way she knows how to the best.

Smile, say "you really shouldn't have but thank you so much for the thought." and then out of sight either toss it or regift it to someone without your food reactions.

Accepting well intended but very unwanted gifts given by someone who has a need to express thanks is a gift you give, not one you are getting. Just be nice and give that gift.
  #75  
Old 04-11-2019, 12:45 PM
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Yes it is. They're asking for it.

I have an intolerance for onions. I donít know if I have an allergy, Iíve never been to a doctor about it, all I know is that if I eat them (raw or cooked) I regret it the next day. (Which sucks because I love fried onions and will eat them anyway every now and then, and I do pay for it.)

If someone pesters me about it and asks for details I warn them that itís not pleasant, but if they insist I happily describe the pain and stench in detail so that maybe next time they freaking mind their own damn business.
  #76  
Old 04-11-2019, 02:47 PM
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And asking follow up questions like "what happens when you eat dairy" is not something you want to hear the answer to while you are eating.
Oh, yeah - like the time I explained in detail what happened during the I Didn't Use Tomato I Used Ketchup Instead debacle and got flamed for ruining the host's bathroom by someone who didn't know, and did not believe when informed of the fact, that when you are in genuine shock there is a tendency to loose sphincter control. Along with projectile vomiting (or was that just before?). And so forth. It's quite dramatic and absolutely scared the crap out of witnesses. I wasn't fully cognizant of what was going on at the time but someone later told me it was like a scene from The Exorcist. No doubt if it happened today someone would claim it was like one of the bathroom scenes from The Santa Clarita Diet.

But hey, my fault for having a medical condition, right?

Maybe I can go to D'Asshole's house, swig some V8, and start spraying from all orifices, wonder if that would be sufficient proof or would he still question my assertion that Tomatoes Are A Problem For Me?
  #77  
Old 04-11-2019, 02:55 PM
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Originally Posted by DSeid View Post
Smile, say "you really shouldn't have but thank you so much for the thought." and then out of sight either toss it or regift it to someone without your food reactions.
Why do you assume I am NOT doing that? Seriously, where did you get that notion? Because I'm pretty sure I mentioned in post #6 that I used to pass these things on to my spouse, and I'm sure as hell not going to eat something that might kill me so yeah, in the trash it goes.

The extreme upset is the PUSHINESS. It's not enough to just accept it, she wants to see me eat it in front of her. AND there's that bit (in post 6, again) about banging on my door to wake me up after I'm already in bed - and YES, she knows I go to work before dawn she has commented on it numerous times. Every damn person on my side of the building knows that half the week I'm leaving for work at 4:30 am because they have mentioned it to me. Which I don't freakin' care about, we all have a pretty good notion of who works when around here but if you know someone is leaving for work that early, and it's after dark, and their apartment is dark WHY ARE YOU BANGING ON THEIR DOOR? Something had better be on fucking fire or somebody's broken a leg or the police want us to evacuate or something.

Also, while I'm quite polite and courteous in real life sometimes something annoys the fuck out of me and that's why I come here to vent, where I'm anonymous and won't hurt anyone by doing so.
  #78  
Old 04-11-2019, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Atamasama View Post
I have an intolerance for onions. I donít know if I have an allergy, Iíve never been to a doctor about it, all I know is that if I eat them (raw or cooked) I regret it the next day. (Which sucks because I love fried onions and will eat them anyway every now and then, and I do pay for it.)

If someone pesters me about it and asks for details I warn them that itís not pleasant, but if they insist I happily describe the pain and stench in detail so that maybe next time they freaking mind their own damn business.
Yeah, you know, it doesn't matter if it's an actual allergy or an intolerance or smelly farts the next day or whatever - if something causes you a problem every time you eat it then it's your right not to have to eat it.

I don't know why this is rocket science for so many people.
  #79  
Old 04-11-2019, 03:06 PM
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Honestly I don't get the extreme upset. Yes, it would be nice if there weren't well intended idiots in the world but hey they're better than ill-intended idiots!

She thinks you are just being gracious and would actually really appreciate her amazing cooking. She feels a need to say thanks in the way she knows how to the best.

Smile, say "you really shouldn't have but thank you so much for the thought." and then out of sight either toss it or regift it to someone without your food reactions.

Accepting well intended but very unwanted gifts given by someone who has a need to express thanks is a gift you give, not one you are getting. Just be nice and give that gift.
Did you actually read what she wrote, or are you channeling Ned Flanders?

Whoops, Broomie already spoke for herself . . .

Last edited by Qadgop the Mercotan; 04-11-2019 at 03:06 PM.
  #80  
Old 04-11-2019, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by DSeid View Post

Accepting well intended but very unwanted gifts given by someone who has a need to express thanks is a gift you give, not one you are getting. Just be nice and give that gift.
Actually I don't think Broomstick is on the hook to do this emotional labour for her dough-head neighbour.

There are people - usually family or good friends - that you will turn yourself into a pretzel trying to keep happy. Irritating downstairs neighbour does not have that status and I think it's perfectly fine to say 'No, thank you.' and close the door.
  #81  
Old 04-11-2019, 03:39 PM
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Whoops, Broomie already spoke for herself . . .
Yeah... I do that sometimes...
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Old 04-11-2019, 04:17 PM
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I don't like beets.

I have no idea if I am allergic to beets. I don't eat them. Fortunately, for me, it's fairly tough to hide beets in things you make. But, I spit out the very first mouthful of beets I was ever given. I also spit out the second. My mother, a kind woman, never bothered to give me beets again. I was a cook in several jobs I had in my life, and cooked beets for other people. I don't taste test beets when I cook them, but I was assured by those who did taste the beets that they were quite good.

I tell the folks who get insistent about feeding me beets the story of the first and second mouthfuls of beets. Then if they still insistent, I warn them that I would spit the third mouthful AT THEM. So far, that's worked without actually putting the vile things in my mouth. I am glad, because I don't like beets. Or pushy assholes, either.

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Old 04-11-2019, 04:48 PM
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Yes it is. They're asking for it.

In their laps.
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Old 04-11-2019, 09:40 PM
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I used to have a colleague allergic to all forms of tomatoes. It only takes one time to try to catch someone 6'10", 275 pounds, as he collapses and I try to save him from a head injury and admister an EpiPen. Please just remake the burger without catsup and tomato slices. My heart and shoulders can't manage that!

(And I'm allergic to freaking pepper. I never eat the office potluck, and avoid most chain restaurants, because it's the commonest ingredient in everything. It took 45 years to convince my own mom that I'm actually allergic, not picky. But it shouldn't have required an ER visit to convince the stubborn old broad that I'm actually allergic, and hiding white peppercorn in the sauce won't help me overcome the issue!)
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Old 04-12-2019, 04:33 AM
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I have no idea if I am allergic to beets. I don't eat them. Fortunately, for me, it's fairly tough to hide beets in things you make.
Are you aware that beet juice is becoming more and more common as a natural food coloring?

If it's extreme dislike rather than allergy/intolerance that might not matter because if there isn't sufficient beet juice to alter the flavor you likely won't care, but if it is an allergy/intolerance you should beware of unspecified "natural coloring" even vaguely red/purplish.

This is why I fully support accurate labels on any food product. I get irritated at "natural flavors" and "natural colors" not further specified. Actually, I get pissed. More and more I'm having to write to companies and ask "does that include X, Y, or Z?" I also get tired of explaining why an order of McDonald's fries can be safer for my health than someone's "all natural" whatever it is.
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Old 04-12-2019, 08:14 AM
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Why do you assume I am NOT doing that? Seriously, where did you get that notion? Because I'm pretty sure I mentioned in post #6 that I used to pass these things on to my spouse, and I'm sure as hell not going to eat something that might kill me so yeah, in the trash it goes.

The extreme upset is the PUSHINESS. It's not enough to just accept it, she wants to see me eat it in front of her. AND there's that bit (in post 6, again) about banging on my door to wake me up after I'm already in bed - and YES, she knows I go to work before dawn she has commented on it numerous times. Every damn person on my side of the building knows that half the week I'm leaving for work at 4:30 am because they have mentioned it to me. Which I don't freakin' care about, we all have a pretty good notion of who works when around here but if you know someone is leaving for work that early, and it's after dark, and their apartment is dark WHY ARE YOU BANGING ON THEIR DOOR? Something had better be on fucking fire or somebody's broken a leg or the police want us to evacuate or something.

Also, while I'm quite polite and courteous in real life sometimes something annoys the fuck out of me and that's why I come here to vent, where I'm anonymous and won't hurt anyone by doing so.
What I got the notion of, from the op, was that you were refusing the gift (which upset her), and that your internal reaction to this, expressed or not, is to be unhappy, angry, and "as annoyed as fuck."

Banging on your door after reasonable hours is something else.

Me, I find being as "annoyed as fuck" to be work that I avoid, saving it for those who are of ill-intent, or at least whose stupidity is causing real harm. (My having to throw something away is not in that real harm category to me.) Maybe some enjoy being annoyed as fuck, I dunno. But to me someone trying to be nice and say thank you with a very unwanted gift would not be worth my spending energy being upset over. Your mileage varies.

As to "banging" on your door? You stated "after dark" ... depending on the time of year that could be 7:30. Not sure how at an apartment door she knows your lights are off, but if I was stopping by a neighbor's house before 9 I would not assume that just because the lights are off in the front room that they are not up and home more towards the back. And personally I don't keep my neighbors' work schedules stored in my phone let alone as an item to pay much attention to and clutter my brain up with. Half the time I don't remember my neighbor's names. (My wife remembers everyone's though, store clerks she's met once before even! It's a gift.)

To me life is easier when I assume stupidity over malice unless there is very strong evidence otherwise. And speaking only for myself I don't have the energy to get upset over every bit of well intended stupidity. You must just be much more energetic than me I guess!

No question if the neighbor insisted that I ate her food in front of her I'd be very straightforward and tell her that I actually had really meant it when I stated that I do not eat things that I have not personally prepared and cannot do that. I wouldn't do anything I felt might compromise my health to be polite. But the behavior of trying to force food on me that I don't want would not upset me, it would just make me remember and miss my bubbie, who would not take no for an answer over eating her matzah balls that were just horrible (her kreplach OTOH was to die for).

But sure, enjoy your outrage! Carry on.
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Old 04-12-2019, 09:29 AM
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My first reaction on reading your latest reply, DSeid, was to say, gee, I wish I was perfect like you. On re-reading, I don't think you meant to sound so smug and dismissive, but I am just letting you know that you did sound that way. Just FYI.
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Old 04-12-2019, 10:11 AM
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Not intended to sound that way. It does however seem to me that getting angry at or about people who are acting without malice and causing no harm is ... something I've seen some of siblings do often and they end up spending much of their time stewing over one thing or another offended and annoyed.

Talk to my wife and she will gladly give you the long list of how I am very far from perfect! The least of which is my not remembering people's names.
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Old 04-12-2019, 01:44 PM
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Not intended to sound that way. It does however seem to me that getting angry at or about people who are acting without malice and causing no harm is ... something I've seen some of siblings do often and they end up spending much of their time stewing over one thing or another offended and annoyed.
You horse's ass, is your idea of causing no harm up until Broomstick eats something she shouldn't, that she has told the other party that she shouldn't be served, and fucking almost dies? That's attempted murder in my book. And try to not paint everybody with the same paintbrush as your dysfunctional family. Some people have real problems.

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But sure, enjoy your outrage! Carry on.
Kindly fuck off, Dr S. What others can see from these posts is that, while medical doctors often deserve our respect, it's not all of them and it's not all of the time. I used to like and respect you, but that is no longer a blanket reaction.
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Old 04-12-2019, 02:42 PM
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You horse's ass, is your idea of causing no harm up until Broomstick eats something she shouldn't, that she has told the other party that she shouldn't be served, and fucking almost dies? That's attempted murder in my book. And try to not paint everybody with the same paintbrush as your dysfunctional family. Some people have real problems.

Kindly fuck off, Dr S. What others can see from these posts is that, while medical doctors often deserve our respect, it's not all of them and it's not all of the time. I used to like and respect you, but that is no longer a blanket reaction.
Pray tell me kind sir or madam, what harm has been caused by the op taking a plate of food from her door to the garbage disposal? The only harm was her getting as "annoyed as fuck".

And no the neighbor who wanted to express her thanks did not serve Broomstick some specific thing that she was told to not serve her. Broomstick is just not willing to take any chances with food that she has not prepared herself, which is completely reasonable.

If such is your definition of attempted murder then your book is an odd fantasy novel indeed.

I understand the seriousness of significant food allergies and even other less significant food sensitivities. I'd personally be very pissed if someone told me a seafood stew had no mussels in it so I ate it, as mussels are a trigger of extremely bad migraines for me. (Not an allergy.) And those migraines only make me hyperbolically wish I was dead but are not actually "serious" like many other reactions are. Though I'd be as pissed at myself for having not realized I was trusting an idiot. Those with serious reactions are correct to not trust too many others to not be idiots.

This is not that sort of circumstance.

But yes your post illustrates the truth of your point: some people have real problems.

Also please clarify. "Fuck off"? ... are you wanting me to engage in such vigorous lovemaking that I fall off the bed or what?
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Old 04-12-2019, 03:21 PM
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Oh.

Please also note. I do not ask for or deserve “blanket respect” from anyone and give it to no one.
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  #92  
Old 04-12-2019, 03:31 PM
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Can't speak for anyone else, but wasting food offends the hell out of me and yeah, I'd be pretty pissed off if someone I've already told not to push food on me insisted on doing so to the point where my only recourse is to either waste food or deal with their huffing and puffing because I won't eat the shit. Thanks for making me complicit in something I consider to be offensive in order to spare your overly sensitive butthole getting all in a chafe over not being allowed to bestow your largess there, neighbor! You're a fucking peach.
  #93  
Old 04-12-2019, 05:47 PM
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What I got the notion of, from the op, was that you were refusing the gift (which upset her), and that your internal reaction to this, expressed or not, is to be unhappy, angry, and "as annoyed as fuck."

Banging on your door after reasonable hours is something else.

Me, I find being as "annoyed as fuck" to be work that I avoid, saving it for those who are of ill-intent, or at least whose stupidity is causing real harm.
Wow, must be nice to have Vulcan-like control over your emotions. While I can suppress my angry urges and be polite to idiots, assholes, and jackasses that is mere suppression. I am able to admit that those people still piss me off even if I can control my expression and external reactions.

But hey, continuous to be sanctimonious because you're so superior. Me, I prefer ranting anonymously on a message board to blowing off steam by getting drunk or high or some other unhealthy thing.

Quote:
As to "banging" on your door? You stated "after dark" ... depending on the time of year that could be 7:30. Not sure how at an apartment door she knows your lights are off, but if I was stopping by a neighbor's house before 9 I would not assume that just because the lights are off in the front room that they are not up and home more towards the back.
My current residence is two rooms and a kitchen. The front of the unit is 1 door and 2 windows with just the minimal bit of wall to either side required to anchor the windows/doors so even with the shades drawn if there's a light on you can tell. If you're standing at the door lights in the front room and kitchen are visible. If not, then either I'm in the bedroom with the lights on or the lights off.

The other things is that she lives directly below me and complains that my merely walking across the floor when I get up in the morning wakes her up. She also complains that my showering at 4:30 am wakes her up... except that I shower at night, before bed (or take a hot, soaking bath) and by 4:30 am I'm gone on a work day. Now there IS another person who is also up/going to work at that hour, on the first floor adjacent to both our apartments and that person DOES shower between 4-4:30 am - because if I'm in the bathroom I can hear the water running in their bathroom. But only if I'm in the bathroom, not in any other room of the apartment.

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And personally I don't keep my neighbors' work schedules stored in my phone let alone as an item to pay much attention to and clutter my brain up with.
You probably do not live in a building composed of small one and two bedroom apartments. It's a bit unavoidable to NOT notice these things.

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To me life is easier when I assume stupidity over malice unless there is very strong evidence otherwise. And speaking only for myself I don't have the energy to get upset over every bit of well intended stupidity. You must just be much more energetic than me I guess!
Or else I pay more attention to things that might actually harm me - like food. I don't give a fuck over noisy neighbors, local kids swearing, and a lot of other annoyances in this neighborhood that apparently get a lot of other people bent out of shape. The downstairs lady is someone with it seems no noise tolerance, no tolerance for kids being kids (in a harmless manner), and basically is ill suited to living in this environment.

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But the behavior of trying to force food on me that I don't want would not upset me, it would just make me remember and miss my bubbie, who would not take no for an answer over eating her matzah balls that were just horrible (her kreplach OTOH was to die for).
Yeah, well I don't enjoy people trying to force stuff on my that could literally kill me. How would you feel about someone trying to get you to eat rat poison? Or drink lye?

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Pray tell me kind sir or madam, what harm has been caused by the op taking a plate of food from her door to the garbage disposal?
Why do you assume I have a "garbage disposal"? Because I don't. The only place I can put such food is in my kitchen garbage can... which means I get to smell what is, to me, poison until such time as I empty the garbage. Or I suppose I could march the poison to the dumpster in front of the old biddy - but I really don't want the sort of public screaming match that could ensue, especially if it's on a night the downstairs neighbor is drunk. Which happens a couple times a week.

What harm could it do? Well, tomato juice on my skin generates a rash with a remarkable resemblance to poison ivy. Takes weeks to heal up, looks like hell, feels miserable, and that's assuming it doesn't get infected. Fortunately that is the only allergy I have that bad.

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Can't speak for anyone else, but wasting food offends the hell out of me and yeah, I'd be pretty pissed off if someone I've already told not to push food on me insisted on doing so to the point where my only recourse is to either waste food or deal with their huffing and puffing because I won't eat the shit. Thanks for making me complicit in something I consider to be offensive in order to spare your overly sensitive butthole getting all in a chafe over not being allowed to bestow your largess there, neighbor! You're a fucking peach.
^ And this.
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:19 PM
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Pray tell me kind sir or madam, what harm has been caused by the op taking a plate of food from her door to the garbage disposal? The only harm was her getting as "annoyed as fuck".

And no the neighbor who wanted to express her thanks did not serve Broomstick some specific thing that she was told to not serve her. Broomstick is just not willing to take any chances with food that she has not prepared herself, which is completely reasonable.
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Awhile back I did my new downstairs neighbor a favor. I told her there was no need to repay me. She insists. She insists by trying to cook for me even though I have explained I have very, very serious food allergies and really, please, DO NOT do this....

Despite my continued pleas NOT to bring food to me the downstairs neighbor insists on doing this AND gets irate when I refuse the offer.
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The extreme upset is the PUSHINESS. It's not enough to just accept it, she wants to see me eat it in front of her.
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Originally Posted by Dseid
If such is your definition of attempted murder then your book is an odd fantasy novel indeed.
Perhaps you prefer assault?
  #95  
Old 04-12-2019, 06:39 PM
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Yep. Tomatoes are one of my worst allergies. And they're in every damn thing it seems like.
Can you eat potatoes? I have a friend who is deathly allergic to all the nightshades -- tomato, potato, eggplant. I do sometimes cook for him. Well, I cook for a group that he's a part of. I'm careful to tell him the ingredients, and he can usually partake.

But he tells me that "gluten free" means "deadly food", because usually the gluten is at least partially replaced with potato flour.

I confess that I pride myself in being able to cook for friends with a variety of dietary restrictions. But I cook very carefully. I bought the brand of tomato sauce with no added sugar for the diabetic, and made the frosting with no corn syrup for the woman who is sensitive to corn. And I told the vegan that I'd had to sift beetles out of my flour, and she chose not to eat the resulting food.
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:46 PM
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Can you eat potatoes? I have a friend who is deathly allergic to all the nightshades -- tomato, potato, eggplant. I do sometimes cook for him.
Tomatoes are the only member of the nightshade family that causes me a problem. I happily eat potatoes and eggplants... except it's hard to find an eggplant recipe that doesn't have tomato in it for some reason....

I long ago gave up figuring any rhyme or reason to my list of food allergies. I can eat such major allergens as dairy and fish and shellfish and tree nuts with no problem. Tomatoes? Barley? Lentils? WTF?

I handed a list of my food allergies to a doctor once. He read the note, got a puzzled look on his face, and asked "what do all of these have in common?"

Near as I can tell, the only thing they all have in common is that I'm allergic to them...
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Old 04-12-2019, 08:09 PM
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Are you aware that beet juice is becoming more and more common as a natural food coloring?
I suppose if, for some reason I wanted make a beet out of something that didn't already look like a beet, in terms of color, that would be the "natural" choice. My food already has natural colors, and aside from making rice with saffron, and mixing red tart cherry juice with my lemonade I don't color much of my food.

Oh, I do brown my food. I don't use brown stuff, though. I use butter, and fire, and iron, or steel. When my greens get to where they aren't green, I throw them out, after castigating myself for letting them get that way. I then get new greens that are already green.

Of course, my blueberries are not actually blue, and my blackberries are not actually black. I prefer them that way.

I also always ask if they actually have inorganic bananas, or eggs. Or if the free range eggs ever get away. I do stick with brands of eggs where the yolks are dark yellow. I suppose that counts as coloring my Key Lime pie. It comes out yellow. Some idiots think it's suppose to be green.

I used to be able to get oranges that were not orange, when I got them from orange farmers. They are sort of green, mostly, with a bit of orange and brown. The orange ones are dyed.

I like my food food colored.

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  #98  
Old 04-12-2019, 09:52 PM
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Perhaps you prefer assault?
Nah. A bit a pepper would be better. Thanks.

Broomstick no Vulcan control needed. More being lazy enough to not make the effort to work myself up. Being angry for more than a short flare takes work. It takes discipline to keep it stoked that I guess I just donít have for things like someone trying to say thanks but ignoring my request regarding how to say it.

But Iím used to being ignored. Seriously I just donít sweat it.

I do also want to comment on the calling me a horseís ass. No horse claims possession of me. Iím my dogís ass, my wifeís ass, my kidsí ass, but no horseís.
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:36 PM
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Tomatoes are the only member of the nightshade family that causes me a problem. I happily eat potatoes and eggplants... except it's hard to find an eggplant recipe that doesn't have tomato in it for some reason....

I long ago gave up figuring any rhyme or reason to my list of food allergies. I can eat such major allergens as dairy and fish and shellfish and tree nuts with no problem. Tomatoes? Barley? Lentils? WTF?

I handed a list of my food allergies to a doctor once. He read the note, got a puzzled look on his face, and asked "what do all of these have in common?"

Near as I can tell, the only thing they all have in common is that I'm allergic to them...
Yeah, that's a pretty weird list of allergies. And it's a lot of my staples, too.

My SIL is sensitive to a weird list of foods, but yours is weirder.
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Old 04-13-2019, 01:07 AM
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Broomstick no Vulcan control needed. More being lazy enough to not make the effort to work myself up. Being angry for more than a short flare takes work. It takes discipline to keep it stoked that I guess I just donít have for things like someone trying to say thanks but ignoring my request regarding how to say it. .
This is nonsense. Anger gives you energy. It tells your sympathetic nervous system to produce adrenaline, which provides you with excess energy. It actually takes more mental effort to shut down anger, whether by distraction or by deliberately calming down.

The anger Broomstick is experiencing is not excessive. She is not becoming violent or even aggressive in person. And her choice to discuss the issue with acquaintances and friends who can both commiserate and provide a possible solution is a healthy way to deal with what she is feeling. She's coping with her anger and redirecting it into something productive.

Simply calming down, if you can do so, is not without merit, but it doesn't stop an ongoing problem. And ongoing problems have a way of making someone angrier the more they recur.

Your description of the neighbor is inaccurate. She is not "trying to say thanks." She is attempting to control another person. She knows she is unwelcome, but persists in an attempt to make the person do what she wants them to do.

It is probably not attempted murder, since she likely does not believe Broomstick and thus has no intent of killing her. There's a possibility of assault, if she ever throws food at her or threatens to do that (or worse) at any point. But Broomstick's reluctance to be impolite suggests otherwise.

But she is definitely guilty of harassment, as well as possibly trespassing, assuming she attempts to give this food by entering Broomstick's property. Broomstick could, if she so chose, get a restraining order, though I would recommend attempting other ideas first.

Broomstick has no reason to listen to someone who has no idea what he is talking about and makes "recommendations" that are thinly veiled attacks.

There is a reason why you are the extreme minority in this thread. Even D'Anconia didn't go there. When even the troll knows that would be a step too far, maybe you should fine a clue.

And, yes, I am goddamned fucking lecturing. My tone is fucking patronizing. Because I'm explaining the goddamned fucking basics to a goddamned fucking asshole. He doesn't want respect; he doesn't get it.
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