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  #51  
Old 01-27-2020, 08:10 AM
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I'd like to go on record and say that I predict this will be the longest thread in the history of SDMB.

So many to choose from, and some great ones already listed. I use A LOT of movie/song/TV quotes. Some more often than others.

From "Friends", I've used "I'm going to Yemen!" whenever we buy plane tickets.

Another from "Young Frankenstein," whenever someone mispronounces my name, I reply with "Frodrick!"

From "The Good Place," whenever I get disappointing news, I reply with Jason's heartfelt "AAAWWWW!!" (from when he found out he couldn't ride shotgun in Optimus Prime)
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  #52  
Old 01-27-2020, 08:19 AM
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Whenever someone says Dammit, I always add a Janet. I've done it so much that the girlfriend and the oldest kid have picked up the habit.
  #53  
Old 01-27-2020, 08:42 AM
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When I'm trying to encourage someone. "You can dooooo eeeet!"

When it's cold: "It's a bit nipply out."

And, of course, "that's what she said" whenever someone says a double entendre.
  #54  
Old 01-27-2020, 09:12 AM
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For self-motivation, I often turn to Tom Vu's "nev-a, geev, up."
  #55  
Old 01-27-2020, 09:22 AM
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Whenever anyone uses the word "surely" I always end my response with "And don't call me Shirley." People who have no clue where that phrase came from will laugh.

And I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.
  #56  
Old 01-27-2020, 09:25 AM
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Tom Waits has a song Tom Traubert's Blues (Four Sheets To The Wind In Copenhagen) that I really enjoy. The first lines read:
Quote:
Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did
Got what I paid for now
See ya tomorrow, hey Frank can I borrow
A couple of bucks from you?
There have been many I time when I've suffered some minor injury, shaken my head, and commented, "Wasted and wounded". Extra points when someone notes the reference.
  #57  
Old 01-27-2020, 09:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
My grandson, having just finished watching The Mandalorian series, has taken to finish his speeches with: "I have spoken."
We used to do this at my house, but now we say "This is the way" from later in the same show
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  #58  
Old 01-27-2020, 10:03 AM
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Oh, and when the girlfriend says "To be fair" I go through the whole Letterkenny schtick. She doesn't watch Letterkenny, though, so all I get for my efforts is a weird look.
  #59  
Old 01-27-2020, 11:50 AM
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"Do, or do not: there is no try" In response to someone saying something like "I'll try to be there by 8."

"Chicken wing." If someone has a piece of food on their face.
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  #60  
Old 01-27-2020, 02:23 PM
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Whenever any of my friends makes a mistake, I can't resist saying, "you done messed up, A-A-Ron!" like in the Key & Peele Substitute Teacher skit.
  #61  
Old 01-27-2020, 04:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
Speaking of catchphrases: when watching movies or TV (and occasionally in real life) when a really ominous event is occurring (car crashes, F5 tornados, someone entering a house where a deranged serial killer is waiting with a chainsaw etc.), I'll say,

"Well, that can't be good."
I use this when anything I'm doing goes wildly wrong. I picked it up from Bart Simpson - e.g. when he falls out of the treehouse and his forearm is pointed in the wrong direction "That can't be good".

And when the alarm goes off and I've managed to get somewhat upright, I'll always mutter "I'll sleep when I'm dead". It gets me moving.
  #62  
Old 01-27-2020, 04:22 PM
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We have a dozen or so Seinfeld quotes that we trot out when needed:

That's a shame
That's gold Jerry! Gold!!
Yo Yo Mah
I always wanted to pretend I was an architect
  #63  
Old 01-27-2020, 04:34 PM
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Not [I]every [/I ]time, but when two or more people are leaving on an errand, they often get sent off with "Good luck storming the castle!" Occasionally another person bidding farewell will ask if the group will make it, allowing me to respond that it would take a miracle.

On the even more obscure than Jane being an ignorant slut front, far too often when I'm getting in a hot bath or whirlpool, there will be an involuntary outburst of "Oooh! Too hot! Too hot in the hot tub!" in my best Eddie-Murphy-doing-James-Brown voice.
  #64  
Old 01-27-2020, 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
It's old as the hills, but it still gets a laugh from my wife: "This is why we can't have nice things!"
I actually said this to the dogs once.
  #65  
Old 01-28-2020, 08:18 AM
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"Oh, you mean this gate key"

I say this, usually just to myself, dozens of times a day at work. I work in a military medical library, and I run Interlibrary Loans. At least half of the requests I get are for stuff we already own, and they just didn't bother to, y'know, look for it, then I come up with it in literally 3 seconds, which triggers the phrase.
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  #66  
Old 01-28-2020, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kenobi 65 View Post
The mention of F5 tornadoes reminded me of another one:

Whenever we're experiencing high winds and heavy rain (especially if we're out in the car at the time), invariably, either my wife or I will say, "Cow," then "Another cow."

Sometimes in the car I'll pause in mid-sentence and say "Cows!" just like Danny DeVito in "Throw Momma From The Train".
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  #67  
Old 01-28-2020, 01:35 PM
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Since we're going with obscure references, anyone remember Nat the dogwalker from Mad About You? When I call my wife, I'll often say, in Hank Azaria's voice, "Hey dere, ho dere, it's your husband dere."
  #68  
Old 01-28-2020, 01:59 PM
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I use a great many of these, but probably the most common two are from the original Ghostbusters. When my husband asks me about if he should do something, my response is almost always "Yes, have some." I have also taken to using "Motherpusbucket!" instead of other cuss words when in mixed company or at work. It does meet the satisfying feeling of expletive.
  #69  
Old 01-28-2020, 02:11 PM
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When someone says “My name is...,” I have to suppress the urge to say “Mynameiswartz? I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re saying.”

(from Being John Malkovich)
  #70  
Old 01-28-2020, 02:14 PM
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I have also taken to using "Motherpusbucket!" instead of other cuss words when in mixed company or at work. It does meet the satisfying feeling of expletive.
I drove my wife nuts the other day by repeatedly using the Johnny Dangerously expletives:

“Farging icehole!”
“Corksuckers!”
“Farging bastiches”!

(really throwing autocorrect for a loop here)
  #71  
Old 01-28-2020, 02:35 PM
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"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" always gets a good workout from me. In fact, I used it in a work email about 15 minutes ago. (Luckily the recipient is both a friend and a Python fan.)
  #72  
Old 01-28-2020, 02:50 PM
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A lot of my friends are both taller than I am and faster runners than I am. So, on occasion, I will channel my best Michelle from Full House as I call out: "Wait for me, I've got little legs!"
  #73  
Old 01-28-2020, 04:54 PM
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A new one I just started doing recently. Whenever I am driving in merging traffic, if I let someone in I say, “Come in, Doc Watson”, quoting from a song on Nitty Gritty Dirt Band’s “Will the Circle Be Unbroken.”
  #74  
Old 01-28-2020, 06:27 PM
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Whenever I reluctantly mention that I wear sweat pants in the evening after I've showered I have to toss in the Seinfeld quote,

"Nothing say's I give up like sweatpants"
  #75  
Old 01-28-2020, 06:47 PM
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I like:

"Darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonlit prairie night" when it's especially dark outside.

And, like Marge,

"Oh, yah"

Last edited by teela brown; 01-28-2020 at 06:50 PM.
  #76  
Old 01-28-2020, 07:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashtura View Post
And, of course, "that's what she said" whenever someone says a double entendre.
Our one () toilet at work has a history of trying to flood for ridiculous reasons; think two pieces of TP. A cheap-ass plunger is waiting to be used.

"Well, you just have to push it in and wiggle it around a little bit."

You know what I said. I was scolded by the boss while she was laughing.
  #77  
Old 01-29-2020, 10:54 AM
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Whenever someone asks me something with an obvious answer (i.e., Do you want a slice of this chocolate cake?) I always say "That's not even a thought."
  #78  
Old 01-29-2020, 11:59 AM
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So many of mine have been mentioned. It's pretty cool that all our minds are damaged wired in similar ways

Some of my many, many Seinfeldisms:

Sweet fancy Moses!
Stellllllaaaaaaaa!
If anyone mentions a pony, in any context, it it impossible for me not to say(in a Polish accent) "when I was a little girl I had pony!"

From Trading Places:

If I'm offering food to someone I'll say "Would you like some________? Dare's plenty you know!"

If I need assistance with something that requires strength, such as opening a bottle or putting something heavy on a shelf, etc. it's "please to help me with my rucksack?"

From Friends:

"It tastes like feet!"
"It's a moo point"

From Sixteen Candles

"oh sexy girlfriend!"
"whoa, nice manners babe!"
"Dong! (clap clap) Dong! (clap clap) Where is my automobile?" Automoblie can be substituted for whatever the missing item is.

It's almost embarrassing how often I work this kind of thing into my speech everyday. At least around here I'm in good company.
  #79  
Old 01-29-2020, 12:33 PM
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A couple from Big Trouble in Little China that I do regularly...

"Indeed!" (useful for nearly anything)
"You were not put on this earth to get it!" (when someone says "I don't get it")
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  #80  
Old 01-29-2020, 01:07 PM
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By Grabthar's Hammer, What A Savings!

Though I say it with MUCH more enthusiasm than the original
  #81  
Old 01-29-2020, 01:54 PM
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Whenever I hear some inane story or observation and my input is requested my brain boots up Meg Ryan's character in Joe VS The Volcano

"I have no response that."
  #82  
Old 01-29-2020, 03:29 PM
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Lately when the newest cultural "gotcha" moment happens I cant help but quote Fumbles from Robot Chicken GI Joe

"Heh. I don't even care anymore."
  #83  
Old 01-29-2020, 03:34 PM
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Whenever someone is travelling for work, or to escape winter for warmer climes.

Going to Winnipeg!
  #84  
Old 01-29-2020, 04:42 PM
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Nobody ever recognizes when, even in harmless situations, i do my best Gene Wilder/ young frankenstein imitation of "Stand back!"

Also "sed-a-give!" when tempted to throttle someone.
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  #85  
Old 01-29-2020, 08:36 PM
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when someone is talking about how big something is... "We'll never get that on the album cover." Cheech and Chong
  #86  
Old 01-30-2020, 12:08 AM
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Nobody ever recognizes when, even in harmless situations, i do my best Gene Wilder/ young frankenstein imitation of "Stand back!"

Also "sed-a-give!" when tempted to throttle someone.
Different movie...same idea:

"You want to see crazy? You want? You think I cant be crazy? You want to SEEEEE CRAZYYYY???? I WILLLL SHOW YOUUUU CRAZY!!!!"
  #87  
Old 01-30-2020, 03:41 AM
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Whenever I hear some inane story or observation and my input is requested my brain boots up Meg Ryan's character in Joe VS The Volcano

"I have no response that."
This is mine. And, for some reason, people don't know how to respond to it.
  #88  
Old 01-30-2020, 06:01 AM
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"Bueller? ...Bueller? ...Bueller?"

Applies to many scenarios, but mostly used sarcastically whenever either looking for someone or something that is obviously not there, or when addressing someone who is clearly not paying attention.

"Did I catch a 'niner' in there?"

From Tommy Boy. Used at people who mumble or trail off. Also from this movie:

"No, wait; it’s gotta be your bull."

Usually used as a random non-sequitur to end a conversation that's gone off the rails.

"Brothers don’t shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!"

Used when encountering old friends who I've not seen for a while.
  #89  
Old 01-30-2020, 09:40 AM
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When somebody does a poor job of parking on the street: "It's OK, we can walk to the curb from here."

(from Annie Hall) So far, no one I've said it to has ever laughed or recognized the reference.
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Last edited by jerseymule; 01-30-2020 at 09:41 AM.
  #90  
Old 01-30-2020, 12:29 PM
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I'd also like to add that there are countless "Archer" quotes I use on a regular basis. The two most frequently used are :

1. (If someone leaves some kind of food or drink sitting out) : OH DO YOU WANT ANTS? BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!

2. (For anytime I don't have a good response to a question) : WAIT....I HAD SOMETHING FOR THIS.
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  #91  
Old 01-30-2020, 02:08 PM
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I just ordered a Reuben. Pete Campbell - They put coleslaw right on the sandwich.
  #92  
Old 01-30-2020, 02:48 PM
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https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/O8jf...anters-7.0.jpg

Last edited by Mike Mabes; 01-30-2020 at 02:49 PM.
  #93  
Old 01-30-2020, 03:28 PM
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I do troubleshooting for a living for an internet provider. The one I use all the time is from Sling Blade. "Ain't got no gas innit." For simple basic fixes. Also, if a modem has died, it is "pining for the fjords." I'm the only one that ever gets it.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
  #94  
Old 01-30-2020, 04:04 PM
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The only one that actually fits the OP for me is that when someone says "Stop!" it's really hard for me not to say "hammer time." That is genuinely something I have said out loud in inappropriate contexts as an automatic response to the word stop.

Others might go straight to "collaborate and listen," or even "in the name of love," but for me it's hammer time, and then they come up next.
  #95  
Old 01-31-2020, 02:14 AM
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Most days, it's, "Fuck this," or "Fuck that," or even "Fuck you," but, with alarmingly increasing frequency, it's "Well, fuck me."

Last edited by jerez; 01-31-2020 at 02:15 AM.
  #96  
Old 01-31-2020, 06:15 AM
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I used to work in a consulting form where we did a lot of compliance and legal related work. Whenever someone mentioned something about regulators (i.e. SEC, FINRA, etc), it was very difficult not to yell out:

"REGULATORS! MOUNT UP!!"
  #97  
Old 01-31-2020, 08:52 AM
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Two of my favorites from The Simpsons:

Whenever somebody says something totally wrong, I use Marge's "I can't begin to tell you what's wrong with that statement."

And the one I used last night, when someone asked why anyone would put a full cup of coffee into a garbage can and let it run all over the bottom:

He did it because he's stupid. That's the only reason anyone does anything.

A line from Honer, and it's truer than most people would like to admit.
  #98  
Old 01-31-2020, 09:18 AM
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Tweety is my least favorite cartoon character, but damn if I don't have two more phrases from the little bastard:

Someone's on the floor (maybe fishing a dog toy out from under the sofa): "Hewwo, Puddy, whatcha doin' down dere?"

Someone has just made a painfully obvious declaration: "Oh, you so cwever, you shoulda been a fox, Mr. Puddy Tat!"

And now, my voicebox is stuck twelve octaves too high!
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Old 02-01-2020, 05:19 PM
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Anytime I hear a piano solo in a rock song I say either "Billy Powell on piano" or "that's Mr Bill Payne."
  #100  
Old 02-01-2020, 05:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Tweety is my least favorite cartoon character, but damn if I don't have two more phrases from the little bastard:

Someone's on the floor (maybe fishing a dog toy out from under the sofa): "Hewwo, Puddy, whatcha doin' down dere?"

Someone has just made a painfully obvious declaration: "Oh, you so cwever, you shoulda been a fox, Mr. Puddy Tat!"

And now, my voicebox is stuck twelve octaves too high!
I don't like the little bastard either. Your post doesn't change that.
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