View Poll Results: Which one??
Thankful 21 11.54%
Weirded out 161 88.46%
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  #101  
Old 06-15-2019, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Blank Slate View Post
If you cut two lawns a day, every day of the year, it would take 34 years to cut 25,000 lawns. So who's older? You or the damsel in distress?

Well, he is the Lawnmower Man.
  #102  
Old 06-15-2019, 11:45 PM
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It was not nice that you dug around to find out where she lives. It was a real invasion of her privacy and one you should never, ever repeat.

If a situation like this ever comes up again, you should offer to help out, rather than sneaking around. The sneaking is where the creepy came in.

All in all, a nice thought but very poorly executed.
How in the name of common sense can it be an "invasion of privacy" when that information is PUBLICLY available?

You remind me of the people who think that it's illegal to take pictures in public spaces.


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Originally Posted by markn+ View Post
I say pretty creepy. The idea that someone would look up my address, come to my house and mess around with my property in my yard when I'm not there and didn't approve it, is really not ok. You should have just asked first.
Once upon a time, there were people who would come onto your property without your permission, and collect information regarding your living habits. It didn't matter whether you wanted them there or not. And it did no good to complain to the police, because--believe it or not--these nefarious activities were sanctioned by the local government.

Those creepy people were called "meter readers."
  #103  
Old 06-16-2019, 12:16 AM
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...
Those creepy people were called "meter readers."
So, they were people who had a legitimate and pre-established reason to be on your property and their behavior was governed by rules and regulations? That's nothing like what we're discussing.

Given the OP's two other bizarre threads, I don't for a minute think this really happened and we are instead reacting to a fantasy that has only played out here and in his head, but as a hypothetical exercise, it represents a violation of this person's privacy. Privacy can be violated even by using publicly available. For example, someone could probably dox you based on your posts here on a public message board, but that practice is rightfully prohibited here because it represents a violation of our privacy. There is no legitimate reason for someone to dox you and there is no legitimate reason for someone to research public records to find your home, come on to your property and mow your lawn. In fact that would be trespassing and the woman in this scenario (if she exists) would be within her rights to pursue action.
  #104  
Old 06-16-2019, 03:06 AM
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How in the name of common sense can it be an "invasion of privacy" when that information is PUBLICLY available?

You remind me of the people who think that it's illegal to take pictures in public spaces... ."
Oh come on. There are degrees of behaviour, and you know it...

Taking a picture of a public space in which I happen to be; not illegal, and fine.

Parking outside my house until I leave and following me all day taking pictures from behind bushes with a telephoto lens, then making a montage on you basement wall above a table with a tiny doll with my face stuck to it, surrounded by permanently burning tea lights; still probably not illegal, but deeply disturbing.
  #105  
Old 06-16-2019, 03:11 AM
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How in the name of common sense can it be an "invasion of privacy" when that information is PUBLICLY available?
I don't like having my address and phone number in publicly-accessible databases, but there seems to be little (if anything) I can do about it. Periodically I've attempted to get this information hidden or deleted, but have only been marginally successful.

If someone who has no legitimate need to know my address goes searching for it in one of those public databases, then yes, I consider that act an invasion of my privacy. Wanting to come to my house and and mow my lawn without my knowledge or permission is not a legitimate reason.
  #106  
Old 06-16-2019, 03:55 AM
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It's basically rape.
  #107  
Old 06-16-2019, 04:39 AM
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It's basically rape.

Ding, ding, ding.....we have the best reply yet!!???
  #108  
Old 06-16-2019, 05:11 AM
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Is this a "stand your ground" state?

If so, and I caught you, I'd go after you with a weed whacker. Loaded with razor wire.
  #109  
Old 06-16-2019, 05:24 AM
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It's basically rape.
I know you think you’re funny and that’s adorable. 4chan down?
  #110  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:07 AM
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I'll make this more interesting.

First of all, she isn't married or have a boyfriend. And not that this matters, she's in her late fifties.


And to add more.....I've probably cut 25,000+ lawns in my lifetime.
So this old lady who didn't give you her name or address reacts to your creepy behaviour by asking for your info so that she can send you some scrolling thank you meme that you can share with a bunch of other strangers to prove that you're really a great person?

And the fact that you're invading this woman's privacy doesn't matter because she's not married and in her late fifties? That attitude shows me you're not really telling this little tale* for any reason other than to show off your detective skills rather than lay claim to any humanitarian effort. And my dusty old lady hackles are pretty creeped out by this. News flash, little boy: stalkers don't confine themselves to pretty girls. Even old broads like me are wise to watch our step.

*tale, noun: a story. See also fairy.
  #111  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:32 AM
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Ding, ding, ding.....we have the best reply yet!!???

So, basicly, you have learned nothing from this experience and still think being a stalker (you. are. a. stalker.) is okay.
  #112  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:19 AM
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So, basicly, you have learned nothing from this experience and still think being a stalker (you. are. a. stalker.) is okay.
Where in the heck come up with that???? Obviously you haven't read my responses. It appears he compared it to rape.
  #113  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:26 AM
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So this old lady who didn't give you her name or address reacts to your creepy behaviour by asking for your info so that she can send you some scrolling thank you meme that you can share with a bunch of other strangers to prove that you're really a great person?

And the fact that you're invading this woman's privacy doesn't matter because she's not married and in her late fifties? That attitude shows me you're not really telling this little tale* for any reason other than to show off your detective skills rather than lay claim to any humanitarian effort. And my dusty old lady hackles are pretty creeped out by this. News flash, little boy: stalkers don't confine themselves to pretty girls. Even old broads like me are wise to watch our step.

*tale, noun: a story. See also fairy.
Lots of speculation there. Wow.
  #114  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:33 AM
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So, like why the manipulation of NOT revealing that she’s already a friend of yours? Or her age?

These tiny details were deliberately left off, but suddenly took on importance when people called you on the creepy factor.

From this side it almost appears like you were purposely dancing right up to the ragged fringes of trolling.

Can you explain why you’d ignore these details initially, only to then play them as mitigating reasons for your actions? Were you being as disingenuous as that appears?
  #115  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:34 AM
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Where in the heck come up with that???? Obviously you haven't read my responses. It appears he compared it to rape.
The rape comment ridicules women's quite rational concerns about their safety. Your signing on to it so enthusiastically means that you really, really don't get why people think what you did was so creepy. This is not surprising because you appear to have quite the history of doing creepy things.
  #116  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:50 AM
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Lots of speculation there. Wow.
You rolls the dice, you take your chances. You rolled. The outcome is that an overwhelming number of us believe the actions you describe are certifiably creepy. I don't think it's true. At what point on this sliding scale of bs it goes off the rails, I'm not sure. But certainly by the time that she sends you some scrolling thank you blurb just in time for you to conveniently let us know how much your actions were appreciated.

I'm guessing you came up with this scenario for impressing some woman you want to get closer to. Your friends told you it's a bad idea, so you decide to present it to us as something you've already done. Then when you get called out, you start making up these weird details.

Either that or typical fan fic.

Last edited by BeeGee; 06-16-2019 at 07:51 AM.
  #117  
Old 06-16-2019, 08:45 AM
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You rolls the dice, you take your chances. You rolled. The outcome is that an overwhelming number of us believe the actions you describe are certifiably creepy. I don't think it's true. At what point on this sliding scale of bs it goes off the rails, I'm not sure. But certainly by the time that she sends you some scrolling thank you blurb just in time for you to conveniently let us know how much your actions were appreciated.

I'm guessing you came up with this scenario for impressing some woman you want to get closer to. Your friends told you it's a bad idea, so you decide to present it to us as something you've already done. Then when you get called out, you start making up these weird details.

Either that or typical fan fic.
I am 100% aligned it to this interpretation.
  #118  
Old 06-16-2019, 08:54 AM
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I know you think you’re funny and that’s adorable. 4chan down?
I'm the only one who knew what was up with the OP. All the rest of you took the bait.
  #119  
Old 06-16-2019, 09:14 AM
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Once upon a time, there were people who would come onto your property without your permission, and collect information regarding your living habits. It didn't matter whether you wanted them there or not. And it did no good to complain to the police, because--believe it or not--these nefarious activities were sanctioned by the local government.

Those creepy people were called "meter readers."
I really fail to see the relevance of this. Are you saying that because there are some people who have a legitimate reason to enter your property without your permission, everyone should be able to do that? If you see a stranger in your back yard, looking through your stuff, you just shrug and let him go on with his business?
  #120  
Old 06-16-2019, 09:44 AM
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So this old lady who didn't give you her name or address reacts to your creepy behaviour by asking for your info so that she can send you some scrolling thank you meme that you can share with a bunch of other strangers to prove that you're really a great person?

And the fact that you're invading this woman's privacy doesn't matter because she's not married and in her late fifties? That attitude shows me you're not really telling this little tale* for any reason other than to show off your detective skills rather than lay claim to any humanitarian effort. And my dusty old lady hackles are pretty creeped out by this. News flash, little boy: stalkers don't confine themselves to pretty girls. Even old broads like me are wise to watch our step.

*tale, noun: a story. See also fairy.
Where did you come up with the idea that she sent me the scrolling thank you. She genuinely thanked me in person. And thank you for the little boy comment. I do look younger than my middle aged body.
  #121  
Old 06-16-2019, 09:50 AM
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You rolls the dice, you take your chances. You rolled. The outcome is that an overwhelming number of us believe the actions you describe are certifiably creepy. I don't think it's true. At what point on this sliding scale of bs it goes off the rails, I'm not sure. But certainly by the time that she sends you some scrolling thank you blurb just in time for you to conveniently let us know how much your actions were appreciated.

I'm guessing you came up with this scenario for impressing some woman you want to get closer to. Your friends told you it's a bad idea, so you decide to present it to us as something you've already done. Then when you get called out, you start making up these weird details.

Either that or typical fan fic.
She never sent me the scrolling thank you. And I don't want to get closer to her. I don't need to. Being gym friends is enough, and yeah, I should have been clearer on that earlier. Nothing is made up.
  #122  
Old 06-16-2019, 09:54 AM
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So, like why the manipulation of NOT revealing that she’s already a friend of yours? Or her age?

These tiny details were deliberately left off, but suddenly took on importance when people called you on the creepy factor.

From this side it almost appears like you were purposely dancing right up to the ragged fringes of trolling.

Can you explain why you’d ignore these details initially, only to then play them as mitigating reasons for your actions? Were you being as disingenuous as that appears?
I definitely should have been clearer from the beginning. My mistake. Wasn't intentional. Once people started speculating, that's when I had to clarify.
  #123  
Old 06-16-2019, 09:59 AM
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Originally Posted by UnwittingAmericans View Post
It's basically rape.
This isn't the only inappropriate comment in this thread, but it's the worst of the bunch. Apparently quite a few of you have been living under a rock for the past couple of years and haven't heard that we are trying to make this place less squicky for our female members. Some of you clearly aren't getting it.

Given these types of comments, along with the fact that this thread is a bit of a train wreck for a whole bunch of other reasons, let's just close this before anything worse happens.

Thread closed.
  #124  
Old 06-16-2019, 04:57 PM
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Thread re-opened by request.
  #125  
Old 06-16-2019, 05:45 PM
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Moderator Action

Thread re-opened by request.
That's strange. I'd like to ask who requested??

You were right about your earlier thoughts on this. It's run it's course.
  #126  
Old 06-16-2019, 05:57 PM
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That's strange. I'd like to ask who requested??

You were right about your earlier thoughts on this. It's run it's course.
request
  #127  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:02 PM
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So as a hypothetical ... mowing a casual friend's lawn for them without asking first?

Could be appreciated as a nice surprise gesture, and in the story we've been presented, it was. But yeah this could be thought of as coming up and giving someone who looks stressed a back rub without asking first. It's across the line of typical contact, maybe well-intended, might be appreciated, but inappropriate without asking first: "Hey, I used to mow lawns as job for years, kind of enjoy the exercise. Would you please give me permission to mow your lawn ... and maybe drop your mower off in the shop for you? No big deal for me."

This is an ask first one, no matter if this time it was appreciated.
  #128  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:03 PM
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I really fail to see the relevance of this. Are you saying that because there are some people who have a legitimate reason to enter your property without your permission, everyone should be able to do that? If you see a stranger in your back yard, looking through your stuff, you just shrug and let him go on with his business?
I was mocking the hysteria that so many people today show over things that used to be considered unremarkable. Twenty years ago, (A) the OP simply would have looked up her address in the phone book, and (B) most people wouldn't have thought anything about it.
  #129  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:14 PM
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Very short, detailed and simple.

So, a friend from the gym often talks of her crummy lawn and lawnmower problems (for months she's brought it up, knowing that I've cut thousands of lawns in my lifetime).

So finally I say to myself...."what the hell, I'll drive over (surprise her) and cut it for her". Look up her address online. Yep, in hindsight, I should have offered first.
  #130  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:17 PM
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I was mocking the hysteria that so many people today show over things that used to be considered unremarkable. Twenty years ago, (A) the OP simply would have looked up her address in the phone book, and (B) most people wouldn't have thought anything about it.
Twenty (or forty) years ago, single women got unlisted phone numbers.
  #131  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:48 PM
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So, I know this person from the gym. We talk for a short bit every day. <snip>
I only know her by first name, but have heard her say her last name a time or two.
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I'll make this more interesting.

First of all, she isn't married or have a boyfriend.
You're such 'good' friends that she hasn't told you her last name but you know she doesn't have a boyfriend? Maybe she does & doesn't talk about him, wanting to keep her personal details, you know, personal. Maybe the day you asked her was the morning after a huge fight but they've since rekindled. Maybe she's in a new relationship, or at least was the day that you asked her a couple of months ago. Maybe she & her boyfriend both have Smart cars, which physically can't accommodate a lawnmower in them. Maybe she has a boyfriend who has some physical disability, making it impossible to lift said lawnmower into her car.

Being gym buddies with someone only enough to know their first name does not mean you know all of the intimate details of their life.
  #132  
Old 06-16-2019, 06:56 PM
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An awful lot of speculation there. So much so, I'm laughing.
  #133  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:03 PM
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I was mocking the hysteria that so many people today show over things that used to be considered unremarkable. Twenty years ago, (A) the OP simply would have looked up her address in the phone book, and (B) most people wouldn't have thought anything about it.
Ah yes, the good old days when stalking and assaults were ignored.
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  #134  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:31 PM
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No good deed goes unpunished, I had a neighbor that was a single mother who never cut her grass, and one day I was cutting mine and I decided to cut hers and she was very thankful.

The counter argument is when my Dad cut his neighbor's grass and his lawnmower kicked up a rock and shattered their glass front door, so his good deed ended up costing him money and pissing off the neighbors.
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Last edited by pool; 06-16-2019 at 07:31 PM.
  #135  
Old 06-16-2019, 08:51 PM
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No good deed goes unpunished, I had a neighbor that was a single mother who never cut her grass, and one day I was cutting mine and I decided to cut hers and she was very thankful.
A neighbor, sure. Sounds about normal. A stranger from the gym, who to find out their address you have to

Quote:
looking on the town tax database
instead of just asking them, sounds about stalkerish. And adding illegal trespass. Sounds about criminal.
  #136  
Old 06-16-2019, 09:21 PM
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I was mocking the hysteria that so many people today show over things that used to be considered unremarkable. Twenty years ago, (A) the OP simply would have looked up her address in the phone book, and (B) most people wouldn't have thought anything about it.
You'd think some people would be thinking about the ten year anniversary of the death of Rebecca Schaeffer, who was murdered by a stalker who looked up her address using public records and then showed up at her house and shot her.
  #137  
Old 06-16-2019, 10:58 PM
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Very short, detailed and simple.

So, a friend from the gym often talks of her crummy lawn and lawnmower problems (for months she's brought it up, knowing that I've cut thousands of lawns in my lifetime).

So finally I say to myself...."what the hell, I'll drive over (surprise her) and cut it for her". Look up her address online. Yep, in hindsight, I should have offered first.
Seriously dude, the obvious nice thing to do was to offer to take her lawn mower in and back from the repair shop and maybe to offer to mow her lawn once while it is getting fixed. The fact that you, in this story, haven't offered to help her get her lawn mower in, while going through the exact same trouble to get your lawn mower there and back, is what gives your story the extra scary weird thing to do vibe.

Mind you I'd be weirded out if my next door neighbor had done what you did without asking first, probably say thank you because I'd be at a loss for what else to say to someone who meant well, but a bit upset. Going down the block with the snowblower clearing the whole block's sidewalk would be generous and mite neighborly, but more than that is creepy. Someone I just know from a gym? Very uncomfortable, not "a nice gesture" at all.
  #138  
Old 06-16-2019, 11:21 PM
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Mind you I'd be weirded out if my next door neighbor had done what you did without asking first, probably say thank you because I'd be at a loss for what else to say to someone who meant well, but a bit upset.
Not all that weird around my neighborhood. Last place I lived at the neighbor would mow my lawn when he was out there, and I'd mow his. We never talked to each other about it. Just somehow became a thing--never thought much of it. And here during the winter I'll shovel the sidewalk for several neighbors when I'm out there. I mean, why not. Never thought of anything being creepy about that.

But, yeah, as I said before, the situation in the OP is a bit much.
  #139  
Old 06-17-2019, 12:33 AM
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So as a hypothetical ... mowing a casual friend's lawn for them without asking first?

Could be appreciated as a nice surprise gesture, and in the story we've been presented, it was. But yeah this could be thought of as coming up and giving someone who looks stressed a back rub without asking first. It's across the line of typical contact, maybe well-intended, might be appreciated, but inappropriate without asking first: "Hey, I used to mow lawns as job for years, kind of enjoy the exercise. Would you please give me permission to mow your lawn ... and maybe drop your mower off in the shop for you? No big deal for me."

This is an ask first one, no matter if this time it was appreciated.
I mow that little strip of grass between the sidewalk and the curb for my next two neighbors and I shovel the sidewalk in front of their rowhouses in the winter. Neither of them own a mower and the guy two houses down had a stroke a while back. It’d be weird to skip the neighbor between my rowhouse and the elderly neighbor, so I just do it all.
  #140  
Old 06-17-2019, 04:23 AM
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Seriously? After that previous thread where plenty of people said that it was creepy to look up people online?

You are still doing it?

This one woman may not have cared. (If the story is being accurately reported.)

That doesn’t change the fact that there are plenty of people who would find it creepy.

What else is it going to take?
  #141  
Old 06-17-2019, 06:50 AM
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You'd think some people would be thinking about the ten year anniversary of the death of Rebecca Schaeffer, who was murdered by a stalker who looked up her address using public records and then showed up at her house and shot her.
She was shot 30 years ago, in 1989.
  #142  
Old 06-17-2019, 06:51 AM
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Seriously? After that previous thread where plenty of people said that it was creepy to look up people online?

You are still doing it?

This one woman may not have cared. (If the story is being accurately reported.)

That doesn’t change the fact that there are plenty of people who would find it creepy.

What else is it going to take?
Restraining orders.
  #143  
Old 06-17-2019, 06:57 AM
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She was shot 30 years ago, in 1989.
Yes. So twenty years ago, it would have been the ten year anniversary of her death.
  #144  
Old 06-17-2019, 10:42 AM
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I voted "Thankful," but I can easily see how it would creep some people out. You have to make a reasoned judgment about your (limited) relationship with the person and his or her personality before you do an unsolicited favor like this, as I'm sure you did.
  #145  
Old 06-17-2019, 10:54 AM
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I voted "Thankful," but I can easily see how it would creep some people out. You have to make a reasoned judgment about your (limited) relationship with the person and his or her personality before you do an unsolicited favor like this, as I'm sure you did.
I did. I felt that we were knew each other enough that it would "probably" be alright.
  #146  
Old 06-17-2019, 11:19 AM
Esprise Me is offline
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Originally Posted by LiveFree View Post
Yeah, I'm now beating myself up over this. Anxiety and all. I'm NOT going to tell her that I did it.

I would still like a mod to delete this. Mainly because of my username.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveFree View Post
Quote:
It's basically rape.
Ding, ding, ding.....we have the best reply yet!!???
I'm disturbed that you still don't get it. You seem to think this was a faux pas on the level of chewing with your mouth open-- embarrassing for you, but not threatening to her. You're mocking a caricature of women who are afraid of being stalked, raped, and murdered, when this is an entirely rational fear. And apparently you've done this kind of thing before, and had this explained to you before, and you not only still refuse to hear it but roll your eyes at us. Which is the sort of response that merits more caution by the women around you, not less.

https://victimsofcrime.org/our-progr...ing-statistics

https://www.domesticshelters.org/res...t-and-stalking

http://vpc.org/press/more-than-1800-...w-study-finds/
  #147  
Old 06-17-2019, 11:50 AM
LiveFree is offline
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You blew that way out of proportion, and I don't appreciate how you re-edited the quote from someone else to make it seem like I made the rape comment.

I need not read any of those links. Go ahead and bash me more.

My wife, who obviously knows me to the core, even said... sure you should have called first, but these people don't know the good person that I am. I don't harm people, nor do I intimidate, harass. People who actually know me, know I have good intentions in this world of ours. Continue on.
  #148  
Old 06-17-2019, 11:58 AM
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Telemark is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveFree View Post
People who actually know me, know I have good intentions in this world of ours.
Then why do you repeatedly ask random strangers on the board if they think your actions were creepy? Do you care what we think?

BTW, if you know a person well then lots of actions are just fine. If you don't know someone to the point where you need to look up where they live instead of asking them then a lot of actions can come across as exceedingly creepy to the point of stalking. If you're going to create threads without supplying the necessary context then people will think your actions are creepy. You obviously recognize the danger or you wouldn't keep starting threads like this asking if you've gone over the line.
  #149  
Old 06-17-2019, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveFree View Post
these people don't know the good person that I am. I don't harm people, nor do I intimidate, harass. People who actually know me, know I have good intentions in this world of ours. Continue on.
It's perfectly possible to intimidate people without intending to do so.

And there's a saying about the road that's paved by good intentions. Try looking where you're going, not just inside yourself at your intentions.
  #150  
Old 06-17-2019, 03:52 PM
LiveFree is offline
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I hear you on that. Not sure this is quite what you mean, but I truly try to be a good person. Because that in itself makes the world a better place. You surround yourself with good people and it's contagious.

Yes, I got lucky this lady friend didn't get upset at me. Maybe she knows me well enough to know she doesn't have to. Lesson learned about this situation.

on edit - - be more mindful of the other person..

Last edited by LiveFree; 06-17-2019 at 03:54 PM.
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