I can not understand why people will not leave a message. I have a machine at home and voicemail on my cell and they are there for a reason. I always screen my calls at home and will never pick up the phone. I can see who calls on my cell and can decide to answer it, but that is not the point. If im busy or didn’t hear the phone ring then i think it might be a good idea to leave a message .
Can someone please share their opinions on this subject.
baltotop
I leave messages, most of the time, but I sometimes don’t. It makes me uncomfortable and don’t know what to say. So most of the time, I just figure, “Well, I’ll try again later, when they’re there.”
baltotop,
IMHO, MPSIMS or The Pit
take your pick.
I think SimonX has the right idea I’m thinking Pit, but as long as it’s here, I’ll just say that when I call you, it is becase I want to have a two-way conversatoin with you right now. If I can’t have it right now, I’ll call back at some other time that is convenient for me.
I agree with kaylasdad99. I think this might be better off in the Pit…
email a mod w/ the “Report this post to a moderator” button in the lower right hand corner of the OP and ask politely.
No, I’ll go with a IMHO for $500 Alex.
Because talking to a person is very different from talking to a non-responsive machine; if you are going to speak a brief monologue, you would normally prepare it in advance, making sure that you cover what you want to say as clearly as possible without repetition, hesitation or omission.
However, in ordinary conversation, you generally just ‘wing it’ as you go along, because if you miss anything important (like when or where you are going to meet them, or what you want them to do, the other person will ask.
So if you aren’t expecting to give a monologue, the usual response is “Hello, err…it’s me. Ummm, By ‘me’ I mean Mangetout, Have you got… Umm… I mean I was umm… calling about errr… Oh, I’ll call back<click>”
I generally hang up, compose a message in my head, and ring back, if I decide to leave one.
But sometimes I don’t - say, if I already left a message, and are seeing if you’ve got it yet, or need to ask something that won’t be relevant later, or want to talk about something. Depending on how well I know you I might leave a message saying ‘Call me back’ or something.
Most of the time I refuse to talk to a non-sentient machine. If you had an android butler, things would be different of course 
On a more serious note, what you say in a normal conversation doesn’t sound stupid and even if it does: It’s gone. What I say on an answering machine will stay there and people can hear the “Ah, uhm, I wanted to say… You know, wouldn’t it be a good idea to… Never mind, I’ll call you back later.” time and time again. A very stupid and embarassing situation.
It happened to me recently when I called a company and had a question about a writing contest. Since I hate “talking” to an answering machine, I made absolutely no sense and ended up apologizing in an e-mail for the unintelligable message I had left earlier on the answering machine. Half an hour later I received an e-mail with an answer to my initial question.
It wouldn’t have been a problem whatsoever, if the guy had been there in the first place, but the answering machine simply can’t answer my question and leaving a message when I didn’t plan exactly what to say, is kinda awkward.
For me the answer is very simple: Long experience shows that a large percentage of voice-mail messages are not returned promptly or even at all.
I’ve given up on indirect communication with one of my more flaky friends. I’ll leave a detailed message on her voice mail, or even send her a detailed e-mail, and inevitably she will call me on the phone later:
“I got your message. So what did you want to talk to me about?”
Then I have to basically repeat all the information to her even though she must have already heard it.
Well, I understand the not leaving a message part. The people I don’t get are the ones who get voice mail and then call back to the switchboard demanding to speak to that person because they don’t want to talk to a machine.
I mean, this is the electronic age, buddy–you’re going to get voice mail on occasion–get over it. And how am I supposed to magically make this person appear and take the call?
I understand wanting to talk to someone somewhat face to face but when you can’t you have to get over it.
I’ll leave a message most of the time, but sometimes I just won’t. I want to talk to a human being. It’s the same reason I get so frustrated with having to wade through a maze of “If you want this, press one, if you want that, press 2…” I am only using the phone because I WANT TO TALK TO A HUMAN BEING.
That said, there are also times when I don’t want to leave what I need on the machine. So I will say something like, “It’s Jess, I guess you’re not home, so give me a call, I have a question.” I talk long enough for someone who is screening to pick up, and if they’re really not there, they know I need to talk to them. That’s because I want to have a conversation, not a monologue, and I want to understand that the other person understands fully what I’m asking/telling, etc.
Jess
I also hate it when people DO leave messages on my mobile phone. For some reason, my phone company has this brilliant idea that if someone leaves you a message, it will ring you back every five minutes until you listen to it.
The problem is because its a mobile phone, if I can’t answer it, its for a good reason. It doesn’t just mean I’m out, because I’d have my phone with me. Usually the reason is I’m asleep or having a bath etc. If you’re in the bath and your phone starts ringing every five minutes, and then rings for at least a minute each time, it gets very, very annoying. To make matters worse, when I fail to answer my mobile, the number I missed is displayed on the screen. Generally, I’ll ring them back straight away. The message is totally superfluous.
As a result, I’ve got into the habit of not leaving messages for other people.
I’d prefer to talk to your machine. That way I can tell you what you need to know, and not have to listen to your inane blathering.
Well, no- I’m kidding. Mostly.
I’ve gotten used to leaving voicemail messages. The only times I don’t like to are: 1. The person’s message is just too long to listen to; or; 2. The person’s message is too annoying/cutesy/stupid to listen to.
I had a friend who I would never leave messages for because her outgoing message was SO DAMN LONG. It was like she was preparing the country to go to DEFCON 1 or something that important, all the crap she had to say. And I hate to listen to my father’s outgoing messages because he thinks he’s terribly clever, but he’s really just the King of Dorkdom.
Really; just name, “not available”, “leave a message”. That’s all I’m saying.
Sometimes I prefer catching the machine. For instance, if all I have to say is “Remember to pick up the cabbage and call Peggy if you need a ride to the party” then leaving a message is preferable to having a regular conversation full of inane chit-chat.
However, sometimes the reason I’m calling is so trivial that leaving a message is stupid. If I just want to say hello (and I’ve seen you recently), I’m not going to leave a message on your machine. I’ll just try back later. If I’m calling to get a quick answer to a question, I’m not going to leave a message on your machine. I’ll just call someone else who knows, if possible.
I don’t like the sound of my voice. The idea that someone is listening to a recording of my ugly voice embarrasses me. So that’s another reason why I don’t like to leave messages.
In general, if I’m conveying information or have a specific question and the reasonable expectation that I will get a return call, I’ll leave a message – but if what I wanted was to have a conversation, e.g., describe something in detail, I’ll call back when I have a better chance of catchying you at home.
In your particular case, being an unattached gay man, might some of these no-message calls be friends who want you for something right then, e.g., the non-message would have been, “Hey, Pete and I are headed in to the clubs, and if you want to ride along, be ready in 10 minutes” if you had been there to take the call.
Joke alert: On the other hand, also in your particular case, 95% of the no-message calls are probably Christina bored and wanting to chat! @ balto & @ Chris
Thanks Poly, I agree with you and thanks for telling me who has been behind all that stalking… 