Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-18-2003, 02:02 AM
elfkin477 elfkin477 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NH
Posts: 22,017
When you say you hate someone, what do you mean?

"Hate" is thrown around a lot here. I hate him. I hate her. I hate Bush. I hate Clinton. I hate the people on reality shows. I hate Fred Durst, Carrot Top and Eminem. But what do people mean when they say it?

As wee children my brother and I were instructed by our father that while you can hate a thing since it isn't alive(and thus has no feelings and can't be hurt), you should never say you hate someone unless you really mean it. And meaning it means that you wish terrible things would happen to them, and hopefully they will die.

We took this to heart. Here we are, now in our twenties, and neither of us ever uses "hate" casually, at least while talking about a person. Not that we don't bad mouth the people we dislike, but unless we really wish they'd die, we don't say we hate them. " I hate you!" is nothing either of us ever said to our parents, for example, although it seems to be a childhood staple for tantruming kids. I was always shocked to hear someone say that, because they couldn't possibly mean it.

However, I've slowly come to the conclusion that "hate" doesn't mean the same thing to us as it does to most people. Or else most people are incredibly evil. So I wonder, what does hate mean to you?
Stalk follow me on Twitter
Old 08-18-2003, 02:18 AM
Hot Buttered Toast Hot Buttered Toast is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Singapore
Posts: 214
To me, it means "I feel a terrible sense of dislike for you at the moment, which might last a while, depending". Or maybe I'm just evil in disguise.
Old 08-18-2003, 02:27 AM
DreadCthulhu DreadCthulhu is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,007
When I say I hate someone, I mean I want them dead, torn to pieces, forced to eat their own liver before they croak, missing limbs, driven to insainty, forced to watch their loved ones suffer, and/or in extreme agony. The scary thing is that I hate a lot of people.
Old 08-18-2003, 02:35 AM
Johnny Bravo Johnny Bravo is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The Swamp
Posts: 7,212
Heck. If I want somebody to die, I'll just come right out and say it!
Old 08-18-2003, 05:32 AM
Rabid_Squirrel Rabid_Squirrel is offline
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: En Zed
Posts: 1,428
"I hate you". Aka: "Eat sh!t and die", "I wish to castrate you with two bricks" and "I will find your ancesteral homes, burn them to the ground and salt the earth"

Around my home, we take the word 'hate' very seriously.
Old 08-18-2003, 07:26 AM
dwc1970 dwc1970 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Idaho
Posts: 3,686
I generally reserve the word "hate" for the few people in my life who have done me so much wrong and caused me so much trouble that I truly wish they'd suffer a slow, painful death before descending into hell (an ex-girlfriend comes to mind). For people who just annoy me or haven't incurred as much of my wrath, I might jusy say, "I can't stand him" or, "I don't care for him" or, "I don't like him." I don't go so far as to wish something terrible would happen to them, but I just prefer to avoid them, and at most I'll just come up with creative insults whenever I talk about them.
Old 08-18-2003, 10:17 AM
skeptic_ev skeptic_ev is offline
Join Date: May 2003
Location: KC MO (Northland yeh!)
Posts: 674
I will casually say, "I hate crabgrass" or "I hate pop-up windows," but I would never say I hated a person unless I really did, and I can't think of one person I truly hate.
"Skepticism is the beginning of faith." --Oscar Wilde
Old 08-18-2003, 02:20 PM
AngelicGemma AngelicGemma is offline
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posts: 4,056
When I say I hate someone, it means I want him or her dead. It means I want to watch as they are slowly tortured to death, preferably by me. It's not a word I use lightly to describe my feeling for someone.
"Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway."

Official Doper Brat
Old 08-18-2003, 03:02 PM
Omnipresent Omnipresent is offline
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 639
For me, I think it's just a saying indicating a desire of disassociation.

The definition of the word should probably stay the same whatever it's use.

I hate asparagus. Therefore, I won't buy, cook, smell, eat or otherwise associate myself with asparagus.

I hate my former boss who fired me. Therefore, I won't talk-to, be kind to, or otherwise associate myself with him.

Granted, it seems a bit biting to use but, for me, it really means, "I don't care for".

If I want someone dead - I just call my Uncle Sal. :-)
Old 08-18-2003, 03:14 PM
UrbanChic UrbanChic is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Meatspace
Posts: 5,680
I use the term hate quite casually. Interestingly enough, I wasn't allowed to use that word as a child.

If my husband and I are playing a game and and he comes from behind to win, I'll narrow my eyes and, with a smirk, say, "I hate you."

I love 'im, though.
Old 08-18-2003, 04:53 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Portlandia
Posts: 39,349
There were two people who got on my bad side in a really bad way about ten years ago. I hated both of them and wished them all manner of ill fortune. For the first one, six months after our problems his wife died of exposure in the CA desert and six months after that he and his son died in a plane that he was piloting. For the second, he went on to a job of some importance with the State Department, got crosswise with an ambassador and got his ass fired with prejudice. F*ck both of them and anyone who looks like them. What can I say: I'm a grudge-carryin' SOB.
Old 08-18-2003, 05:20 PM
AskNott AskNott is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Anderson, IN,USA
Posts: 14,662
Hate is a really extreme word for me. I reserve it for perhaps two people in the world, and a very small list of things. I choose not to get that riled up about ordinary irritations.

I'm the same way about "beautiful" and "ugly." If you call somebody beautiful, and you see somebody tomorrow who's much better looking than that, what's left in your bag 'o' words? You've already used your most powerful compliment!
Old 08-18-2003, 10:11 PM
Telcontar Telcontar is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 1,180
I'm somewhat inconsistent here.
Speaking to a friend, I may say "oh you have chocolate, I hate you." in an entirely joking manner.
To someone I'm not friends with, it means that I'd be happy to see them dead, or rendered completely helpless and humiliated.
Its the same with Love. Concerning friends, family, SO, I mean a a fairly insane degree of devotion. concerning my dinner... not so much
Any other people use love/hate to mean the same degree?
Old 08-18-2003, 10:25 PM
Shaolinrabbit Shaolinrabbit is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 787
I can bandy the word about quite a bit in a joking manner, in which case the joke is very clear. Otherwise, the word is never spoken out loud, but carried inside and hidden. If it's serious, it means given the opportunity, I'd kill them.

Needless to say, my quest in life is to love everyone.
Old 08-18-2003, 10:32 PM
Trigonal Planar Trigonal Planar is offline
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,097
I generally stick to "I can't stand .... " instead of "hate". I keep hate for non-living things, generally. Except in the case of hamsters who won't do their job.
Old 08-20-2003, 02:32 AM
j.c. j.c. is offline
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: nearby
Posts: 1,480
I throw the word around. I hate this movie, I hate that comic, I hate curly fries, I hate the local newspaper....

You'll never hear me mention or speak of the people I truly hate.


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:29 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to:

Send comments about this website to:

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to:

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

Copyright © 2017