For extraordinary heroism as Badass Muthafuckin Clog-stompin’ Moderator, MPSIMS Forum, Straight Dope Message Board in support of Operation DON’T BE A FUCKING JERK on 2 July, 2004.
While on standard patrol, Mod. Coldfire noticed that in a thread where multiple persons were attempting a civilized, informal discussion, outside the Designated Flaming Zone, one Muffin was being a fucking jerk, and promptly drew his standard issue Windmill-Powered Dutch Stomping Clogs and told the offendor to Shut the Fuck Up.
Thank you, Mod. Coldfire, for your brave and heroic service.
PS: Muffin is a fuckin’ tool. There’s a time and a place, ya know?
You don’t even want to know where he stuffs the tulips. Not that it isn’t festive in it’s perverse way, and probably provides great slides at proctology conventions.
I’m as much a tree-hugging pacifist bleeding-heart liberal as the next guy, and I’m strongly opposed to the war.
And I agree that Muffin was being a complete tool and a total jack-ass.
Men and women are sacrificing their lives, both literally and in the sense of being separated from the ones they love, out of dedication to a country that lets jerk-offs like Muffin denigrate them. You want to protest, asshole? Do what you can to get rid of the administration that would foster this war. Don’t try to piss all over the Americans who are honor- and duty-bound to fight for their country.
And in honor of the ClogMeister himself, that rockin’ stompin’ ass-kickin’ Mod for the Gods, an apropos passage from one of his faves:
[Golden Earring]
Yeah there’s a storm on the loose
Sirens in my head
Wrapped up in silence
All circuits are dead
Cannot decode my whole life spins into a frenzy
Help I’m steppin’ into the twilight zone
The place is a madhouse
Feels like being cloned
My beacon’s been moved
Under moon and star
Where am I to go
Now that I’ve gone too far
(repeat)
Soon you will come to know
When the bullet hits the bone
Soon you will come to know
When the bullet hits the bone
Christ… This, THIS is why people think that pacifists hate those serving in the military. It’s so stupid. This guy’s a First Lieutenant. He didn’t decide to go to war in Iraq. We don’t even know why he’s in the military - maybe it was the only way he could pay for college or get a decent career. Sheesh. And the people he killed? They were members of an opposing military force and were, that very second, trying to kill him and his platoon - not prisoners, noncombatants, children, anything. He didn’t choose to be where he was and doing what he was. But he did choose to be a total supremely awesome badass.
Oh, bite me. If you can’t separate the heroics of a junior officer who risked his life to do his job from your comfortable-I’m-safe-in-the US-knee-jerk political opinions, I feel sorry for you.
There’s a difference between criticism and assholery, and Muffin crossed the line. We understand that he is in full and complete opposition to the war in Iraq. But he went too far when he stomped into a congratulatory thread and called the soldier in question a murderer in the midst of an attempt to honor his bravery.
That’s not dissent. That’s being a jerk. There’s a difference. Muffin could’ve easily opened a Pit thread if he felt it necessary to gank about the guy being a murderer or moreover, if he felt that the thread in MPSIMS was out of place. he didn’t, he was out of line and he was called on it.
Good on Coldfire, and hopefully, hopefully, Muffin and others will learn a lesson here. There are times, places and respectful, appropriate ways of dissenting, arguing and protesting. That wasn’t it.
Your sentence was cut off; hopefully you weren’t being censored and having your right to free speech stifled.
Seriously, please don’t try to bring free speech into this. It’s just tiresome. First of all, there is no right to free speech on this forum. It’s a private message board, with moderators.
More importantly, those moderators do not squelch dissenting opinions. Don’t even try to suggest that they do. There are plenty of threads on both sides of the issue, plenty of places where Muffin’s bullshit would’ve been tolerated.
But the most important reason is this: just because you have the right to say something, and just because you’re allowed to say something, doesn’t make it appropriate. The laws of courtesy and decency should supercede the laws about freedom of expression. Muffin was being a jack-ass, pissing on an unrelated thread with an inappropriate argument. That’s rude.
In the words of our vice President Reeder, Go Fuck yourself!
Did you even look at the text of Chontosh’s citation?
It reads like an episode out of Sargent York’s career.
If you don’t know who that is, go rent the movie.
Despite opposing our damned fool war in Iraq, I’m very pleased to see evidence that the US military still makes men that can do the right thing under horribly fucked up circumstances. It is not Mr. Chontosh’s fault that he happened to be in Iraq. The location of the battlefield makes no difference to his stunning display of quick wits, bravery and initiative.
I am not saying that the man doesn’t deserve our kudos. I am saying that muffin has the right to voice his/her opinion as long as it falls inside the boards guidelines.
Reeder, I’ve always left you alone because I agree, in spirit, with your political leanings and In general I recognize in you a decent ability to think. Silence = acceptance and all that.
But let us have a look at context with regard to muffin’s post shall we? While Muff recognizes the horror of so many killed in a conflict in which we have no legitemate business (I’m sure you can relate to this), the context of his post borders on the trollish. This because he is bashing the Lt’s decision to exercise the only expedient option in an ambush: “kill everything that fucking moves!” Come ON! Haven’t you ever experienced the joy of an ambush?
He was being a jerk. As this forum forbids this one type of activity, he definitely deserved a bitch slap. The Mod even acknowledged his right to post the same opinion in another thread. I see no violation of the right both of us served to defend–I see someone “gettn’ told” for exercising his right to be a dick in an inappropriate thread.
