Cheney and eBay (stupid but funny)

[RTFirefly]

Cheney says the economy’s not as bad as the numbers say, because economic indicators miss everybody who makes money selling on eBay.

“That’s a source that didn’t even exist 10 years ago,” Cheney told an audience in Cincinnati on Thursday. “Four hundred thousand people make some money trading on eBay.”

John Edwards’ response:

“If we only included bake sales and how much money kids make at lemonade stands, this economy would really be cooking.”

[World_Eater]

Edwards gets the comback of the week award.

Cheney is a fucking idiot. Don’t forget to factor in those couple of coins under the bed either.

[Chefguy]

Let’s not forget the garage sale cartel, that shadowy group of savvy investors who arrive in their 20-year old rolling tetanus epidemics, bags of loose change in hand to shrewdly increase their portfolios by purchasing deflated basketballs and toasters that don’t heat.

[JKilez]

That is too funny.

And what about the plasma donors:

Not many people get paid to bleed, but I do. I count myself among a small class of people, about 400,000 nationwide, who earn cash selling their blood plasma at the more than 400 plasma centers nationwide. It’s not a pleasant experience, but it helps me get by.

[Skywatcher]

Cheney does have a point, albeit a small one. There are a few business whose primary income is from selling new items on eBay.

[Marley23]

That’s very funny. Next time somebody asks if Edwards is qualified to be Vice President, I think we can just point to his skill with one-liners.

[Liberal]

Actually, we don’t even know whether that was Cheney’s point. The tiny AP snippet, quoted by the OP, gives exactly zero context. Where is the rest of the speech?

[World_Eater]

@Liberal

Actually, we don’t even know whether that was Cheney’s point. The tiny AP snippet, quoted by the OP, gives exactly zero context. Where is the rest of the speech?

Taken out of context? It’s pretty cut and dry. Feel free to provide alternate interpretations.

[samclem]

@Liberal

Actually, we don’t even know whether that was Cheney’s point. The tiny AP snippet, quoted by the OP, gives exactly zero context. Where is the rest of the speech?

Why, it’s right…er, uh, …it should be available at…

If you go to the Bush/Cheney website , they have transcripts available of their speeches. Except that this one hasn’t made it to the list as of the time of my posting. Will it? If no one else posts back here tomorrow, I will.

I notice on that website that you can already read a transcript of a speech by Bush today and three that were made yesterday.

[buttonjockey308]

Now THAT statement wins the booby prize. Sure, there are over 400,000 people making money on eBay, Dick. Know why?
Because they’re SELLING THEIR BELONGINGS TO EAT AND PAY THE RENT!

Know why?

Because they DON’T HAVE A FUCKING JOB.

Know why?

Because the ECONOMY SUCKS.

Know why?

Because we’re SPENDING BILLIONS ON AN ILL-CONCEIVED WAR

Know why?

Me neither.

[NurseCarmen]

@Jeff Olsen

Cheney does have a point, albeit a small one. There are a few business whose primary income is from selling new items on eBay.

Well, if they are a business, they are required to report that income. They then would be included in economic indicators.

[Skywatcher]

@NurseCarmen

Well, if they are a business, they are required to report that income. They then would be included in economic indicators.

Yeah, but does Cheney know this?

[SteveG1]

EBay is a drop in the bucket. You have a shitload of people selling small lots of items usually. Those who do it as a business are usually small businesses (very small). If there are 400,000 people trading, then let’s assume half are buying what the other half is selling. We are down to 200,000 sellers now. Now, let’s asume half are not in the USA. Down to 100,000. Now, assume half the people buying are not in the USA. Down to 50,000. All the numbers were probably pulled out of the air anyway, so why not have fun with them. Since most sellers are just getting rid of things they don’t use anymore, cut the numbers down a few more times for good measure.

[lissener]

@Liberal

Actually, we don’t even know whether that was Cheney’s point. The tiny AP snippet, quoted by the OP, gives exactly zero context. Where is the rest of the speech?

What an idiot. The point of that sentence is pretty crystal clear. Are you suggesting he was using it as a metphor for something? Or perhaps he was making fun of a rightwing point of view? Please suggest an alternate theory–make up some context, as an experiment–to show how any context could possibly alter the meaning of that statement. One rule: it has to sound like something Cheney would say.

[RickJay]

Hey hey now, let’s give some credit to the value of the invisible economy. Think of all the economic activity created by homeless people squeegeeing cars for loose change. Or teeenaged prostitutes, enslaved to abusive pimps, giving blowjobs for $20 a pop. And the wives of Halliburton executives gotta have their $3/hour illegal domestics. It’s the New Economy!

[JKilez]

@SteveG1

EBay is a drop in the bucket. You have a shitload of people selling small lots of items usually.

To be fair, eBay actual does push a great deal of product.

From eBay’s 2003 10-K:

Total transaction net revenues [2003 in thousands] $2,112,242

eBay transaction net revenues as a percentage of gross merchandise sales was 7.1% in 2003

If I am doing my math right, that is just shy of $30 billion per year in merchandise that flows through that site. More than Best Buy, but less than Target.

[lissener]

Yeah, but Ebay is a '“store” with what, 6 million outlets? I seem to remember, a couple years ago, determining that was about how many items they had up at a particular time. That’s like $5000 a year, average. Subtract out the top say 1%, who DO make a business out of it, and I doubt if the median income from eBay is anything but negligible.

[JKilez]

I am just saying… You can mock Cheney, just do not knock eBay!

[rjung]

Unlike Dick Cheney, eBay has measures to prevent fraud.

[Nonsuch]

@lissener

Please suggest an alternate theory–make up some context, as an experiment–to show how any context could possibly alter the meaning of that statement. One rule: it has to sound like something Cheney would say.

I thought I’d give it a shot, but I couldn’t figure out how to combine eBay with a warning/veiled threat about another terrorist attack.