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Old 07-21-2005, 11:11 PM
Idle Thoughts Idle Thoughts is offline
 
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What would you do if I licked my fingers before turning the pages of your books?

I'm asking this because I don't know anything else in this world that brings out the most vast difference in extreme reactions in people. Heh.

I mean, some I know don't care about it. They'll just shrug it off and, hell, even do it themselves...while others I've seen REALLY really get mad and pissed off at this, almost to the point where they want to take the book and hit the person in question over the top of the head for doing it.


Me, I reside somewhere in the middle. It does gross me out a little bit, but I won't usually say anything.


So tell me then, if I came into your house, read a book of yours and you caught me doing this (the ol' licking my fingers before I turn a page), what would you do? Based on your reaction and what you'd do, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to tell where you stand on this.
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Old 07-21-2005, 11:18 PM
Dignan Dignan is offline
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I'd probably have to cut off your fingers. I really don't see any other way to resolve the situation. Sorry.
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Old 07-21-2005, 11:34 PM
ladyfoxfyre ladyfoxfyre is offline
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I'd have to concur with Dignan.
There's just no other way. Or, you could keep your fingers, but you'd have to lose your head. So really it's up to you.




-foxy
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Old 07-21-2005, 11:43 PM
uglybeech uglybeech is offline
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I'd say, "I'd prefer it if you didn't lick your fingers - just go ahead and spit directly in the book."
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Old 07-21-2005, 11:47 PM
devilsknew devilsknew is offline
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I got over that kind of thing very young when my Mom would lick tissues and use the saliva dampened tissue to wipe the occasional smudge o sumtin off my face. Sharing glasses, cans, and bottles used to skeeve me a little but I got over that too.

Saliva enabled page turning isn't even a blip on my radar.
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Old 07-22-2005, 12:47 AM
Nunavut Boy Nunavut Boy is offline
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I wouldn't even notice. If I did notice, I wouldn't give a shit.

Since working in a microbiology lab and having swabbed many different surfaces/objects and seeing what kind of horrible crap turns up, I have since decided to have faith in the immune response.
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Old 07-22-2005, 12:49 AM
Nunavut Boy Nunavut Boy is offline
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I wouldn't even notice. If I did notice, I wouldn't give a shit.

Since working in a microbiology lab and having swabbed many different surfaces/objects and seeing what kind of horrible crap turns up, I have since decided to have faith in the immune response.

Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
When I was a little boy growing up in the 1930's not one kid on my neighborhood got polio. Not one. You know why? Because we swam in raw sewage! The polio never had a prayer! We were tempered in raw shit!
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Old 07-22-2005, 12:50 AM
Diogenes the Cynic Diogenes the Cynic is offline
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Count me as another who probably wouldn't notice, and if I did, I wouldn't care.
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Old 07-22-2005, 01:07 AM
sunstone sunstone is online now
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I would notice, and wonder about how a person could do that to my book, and be slightly icked out, and then I would just read the book.

Hey, I'm easy.
  #10  
Old 07-22-2005, 01:55 AM
Donovan Donovan is offline
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Wouldn't bother me.
  #11  
Old 07-22-2005, 02:20 AM
InternetLegend InternetLegend is offline
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If I knew you well enough (as I should if you're in my house spitting on my books), I'd say, "Hey, please don't lick your fingers before you touch those pages. It grosses me out."

And if I knew you that well, you'd know me well enough to say, "Oh, sorry. Okay."
  #12  
Old 07-22-2005, 03:11 AM
Rushgeekgirl Rushgeekgirl is offline
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I wouldn't care...just don't shove yer paper-germed tongue down my throat!
  #13  
Old 07-22-2005, 03:42 AM
Telperien Telperien is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by devilsknew
I got over that kind of thing very young when my Mom would lick tissues and use the saliva dampened tissue to wipe the occasional smudge o sumtin off my face. Sharing glasses, cans, and bottles used to skeeve me a little but I got over that too.
But that was Mom spit, which has special cleaning properties! It wasn't guy spit!

If I don't see you do it, I don't care. But if I catch you, I'm going to be grossed out.
  #14  
Old 07-22-2005, 03:43 AM
Tamryne Tamryne is offline
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I would visibly twitch for the next five minutes and kindly ask for you to NEVER touch one of my books again.

Im the kind of person who can do anything to my books myself, but if they come back from a friend with even a little dirt on them I never let said friend borrow a book ever again. Comes from letting a friend borrow a pristine condition book and getting it back with a distinct shoe print on the cover and a few pages elmer glued back in.
  #15  
Old 07-22-2005, 04:21 AM
Maastricht Maastricht is offline
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Eeeew. Just eew.

And that's if I liked you.

If I didn't like you, I'd squirm a while and then offer you the book. In a very hostile way. "No really, you can have it. I can buy another. "
  #16  
Old 07-22-2005, 04:41 AM
One And Only Wanderers One And Only Wanderers is offline
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The next book of mine they got their hands on would be prepared in 'The Name of the Rose' style.....
  #17  
Old 07-22-2005, 05:57 AM
Sarah Woodruff Sarah Woodruff is offline
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I'd give you the bloody book to keep.

But I share a household with one very slobbery spaniel, so I am used to a certain amount of drool in my home environment.
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Old 07-22-2005, 06:15 AM
betenoir betenoir is offline
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I would be confused. I never understood the licking fingers thing to begin with...how hard is it to turn pages? And I would think it was a bit rude, to do to someone else's book. I don't care about germs but I'd think it was a bit inconsiderate.


Quote:
Originally Posted by One And Only Wanderers
The next book of mine they got their hands on would be prepared in 'The Name of the Rose' style.....

  #19  
Old 07-22-2005, 06:27 AM
gouda gouda is offline
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I guess it depends on what book it is... for the most, it wouldn't bother me... it's only paper! If it were something I value greatly, then you'd know about it before your spit-laden finger hit the paper
  #20  
Old 07-22-2005, 09:11 AM
Revtim Revtim is offline
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Doesn't bother me. Not only that, I actually tongue-kiss the women I date, whenever I can.
  #21  
Old 07-22-2005, 09:30 AM
pasunejen pasunejen is offline
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It would kind of bother me. Even if it were my boyfriend, with whom I swap spit at every opportunity. I would ask whoever it was to stop doing it, and I might think twice about handing them a book in the future.

It's not exactly rational, but I'm very protective of my books--even the ones I don't like and probably won't read again and might even sell. I can do whatever I like to them (and I rarely treat them with any extra care myself), but as long as they belong to me other people had damned well better respect them.

On the other hand, they could actually spit on my furniture or dishes, and while I would think it odd that they had done that, as long as they cleaned it up properly I wouldn't be put out in the least.
  #22  
Old 07-22-2005, 09:44 AM
big_dogs big_dogs is offline
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I probably wouldn't give it a second thought - but I have jumped all over someone for folding down the corner of a page to save their place!
  #23  
Old 07-22-2005, 09:48 AM
Anaamika Anaamika is offline
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I occasionally do it to my own books...but I would never do it to someone else's books. Come on, you don't lick other people's books, you don't dog-ear them, you don't crinkle them or eat them. You keep them in pristine condition.

Books are either worth 50 cents or priceless.

However, if I really did see you doing it to my books, I'd politely offer you some lotion - after all, your skin is dry, which is why you can't turn the pages.

To be honest, I realize I don't loan my books out very much. And when I do, they go out of the house.
  #24  
Old 07-22-2005, 09:51 AM
Ruby Ruby is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by devilsknew
I got over that kind of thing very young when my Mom would lick tissues and use the saliva dampened tissue to wipe the occasional smudge o sumtin off my face. Sharing glasses, cans, and bottles used to skeeve me a little but I got over that too.

Saliva enabled page turning isn't even a blip on my radar.
Ditto. What's to get squicked about? The amount of saliva transfer is minimal. Sheesh, do you people ever kiss anyone?

I completely support the public flaying of corner folders, though.
  #25  
Old 07-22-2005, 09:59 AM
bouv bouv is offline
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I really could care less. Well, maybe a bit confused, because who actually licks their fingers to turn a page? I've never seen anyone do it.

But from reading this thread, most people are in the "OMG that's the worst thing you can do ever! Ahhh!!" And, of those people, they seem to have one of two reasons:

1) They value their books and don't want any harm to come to them. I can almost sympathize with these people...but come on! Unless there's a reason to be overly protective of it (first edition, out of print, signed by the autheor, or otherwsie a bit special, not just off the shelf, no way different than the million other copies) what's the big deal? A tiny bit of saliva is not going to damage the book in any way.

2) Spit is icky, nasty, and should be avoided at all costs. Now this is the attude that makes no sense. Have you never kissed anyone before? Yeesh. Rushgeekgirl put it best:

Quote:
I wouldn't care...just don't shove yer paper-germed tongue down my throat!
Odds are they are getting more germs from that piece of paper than it is from their spit. How do you germ-a-phobes do anything? You can't paly baseball, the bat was touched by someone else...germs! You can't go out to eat, there might be germs in the food!
  #26  
Old 07-22-2005, 10:02 AM
don't ask don't ask is offline
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I would notice because most people don't do it but it wouldn't worry me at all.
  #27  
Old 07-22-2005, 10:15 AM
Anaamika Anaamika is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bouv
Odds are they are getting more germs from that piece of paper than it is from their spit. How do you germ-a-phobes do anything? You can't paly baseball, the bat was touched by someone else...germs! You can't go out to eat, there might be germs in the food!
What about respect for other people's property? It ain't your book, please stop licking it.
  #28  
Old 07-22-2005, 10:20 AM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is online now
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"STOP.


THAT."


I could not care less about the sanitation issue. I'd be concerned that your saliva would make the pages of MY BOOK stick together, so the next time I read it maybe I have to tear some pages to get them apart. If I have to go to that much effort to read it, so do you. That's why you have opposable thumbs. It's MY BOOK. You want sticky books, buy your own.
  #29  
Old 07-22-2005, 10:27 AM
Anaamika Anaamika is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ethilrist
It's MY BOOK
In the end, I really believe that's all that matters!
  #30  
Old 07-22-2005, 11:08 AM
Bippy the Beardless Bippy the Beardless is offline
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"Please don't do that. it's gross." followed by recording a memory 'Don't lend anything to that person again'.
  #31  
Old 07-22-2005, 11:09 AM
Bippy the Beardless Bippy the Beardless is offline
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"Please don't do that. it's gross." followed by recording a memory 'Don't lend anything to that person again'.
Unless they were very very sexy
  #32  
Old 07-22-2005, 11:22 AM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by betenoir
I would be confused. I never understood the licking fingers thing to begin with...how hard is it to turn pages? And I would think it was a bit rude, to do to someone else's book. I don't care about germs but I'd think it was a bit inconsiderate.

Actually, it's really hard to turn some pages without licking. You risk damaging the edges by not using the tried and true spit method. (flip, flip, flip, fuck!, flip, flip hard, little bend in the page, fuck!, rub together to separate, rub together to separate). The spit method has been used to great success for many years. I'm stickin' with it.
  #33  
Old 07-22-2005, 11:47 AM
BobLibDem BobLibDem is offline
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To attractive young lady: "If you really want me to contact your saliva, come over here and give me tongue!"

To anyone else: "Keep your spit out of my book!"
  #34  
Old 07-22-2005, 01:38 PM
Stillwell Angel Stillwell Angel is offline
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I'm with the group who doesn't understand why the licking is being done in the first place. What on earth have you been doing with your fingers that they are so slippery you can't turn a page??

It doesn't gross me out, I just don't get it. In 36 years of avid reading I have yet to touch a page I couldn't turn sans spit.
  #35  
Old 07-22-2005, 02:12 PM
js_africanus js_africanus is offline
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Depends. If you look like this then I'd probably let you do it and then use the book as a pacifier. If you looked like this, I'd probably let you do it because you have the strength of six men and a proclivity for the physical expression of annoyance.
  #36  
Old 07-22-2005, 02:18 PM
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Chronos Chronos is offline
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It's not just the germ angle. Saliva gets really nasty when it dries. Don't believe me? Spit a little in a bottlecap or similar small container, and leave it out somewhere. Check on it in a day or two. Yeah, you'll only get a little bit of saliva on a book page this way. But no nastiness is preferable to a little bit of nastiness.

When sharing dishes or kissing, on the other hand, the saliva doesn't get a chance to dry out, and any of it that's starting to do whatever it is saliva does to go bad is getting continually diluted and washed away. So the situations are not comparable.
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Old 07-22-2005, 02:21 PM
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I wouldn't care, unless the book was wet when you returned it.
  #38  
Old 07-22-2005, 02:32 PM
ArrMatey! ArrMatey! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by One And Only Wanderers
The next book of mine they got their hands on would be prepared in 'The Name of the Rose' style.....
I opened this thread just to see if anyone would bring this up. Well done, OAOW
  #39  
Old 07-22-2005, 04:12 PM
Quercus Quercus is offline
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Quote:
The next book of mine they got their hands on would be prepared in 'The Name of the Rose' style....
IIRC, there's a similar story in the Arabian Nights (which is probably where Umberto got the idea).
  #40  
Old 07-22-2005, 10:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillwell Angel
I'm with the group who doesn't understand why the licking is being done in the first place. What on earth have you been doing with your fingers that they are so slippery you can't turn a page??

It doesn't gross me out, I just don't get it. In 36 years of avid reading I have yet to touch a page I couldn't turn sans spit.
I've discovered that the ability to use fingertips varys greatly between individuals.

Several years ago, I was at the grocery with a woman who could not open those little plastic baggies for produce. Nothing she was able to do allowed her to separate the two thin sheets of plastic. I walked up and was able to do open the same baggie without any effort at all.

Guess I've got sticky fingers!
  #41  
Old 07-23-2005, 12:26 AM
devilsknew devilsknew is offline
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Here's the real test.

I have an old porn mag collection, anyone care to turn the pages in my all time favorite Hustler (the one with a centerfold shoot directed by Dennis Hopper)?

You might need to use the finger dampening technique as some of the pages are curiously stuck together.
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Old 07-23-2005, 12:28 AM
devilsknew devilsknew is offline
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Squick ya out, or what?!

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Old 07-23-2005, 12:42 AM
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I would tell them I read on the toilet.
  #44  
Old 07-23-2005, 02:48 AM
Ashes, Ashes Ashes, Ashes is offline
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Well how much spit is there? Are the pages getting wrinkly because they're drooling all over their fingers? That's just rude because they're damaging the book.

Who is this person exactly? Am I familiar with, and approve of their cooties? Then go right ahead and lick your fingers. If you are some random skeevy person with giant pustules and stuff, then No! A thousand times no!

With normal, approved, spit cooties, it is a fact that by the time the spit dries and you go to read the book yourself, the cooties have been neutralized by healthy book magic. Magazines do not have this magic and so devilsknew's Hustler is permanently cooty-ized and the print equivalent of an untouchable.

With books, the stuff I worry about is underlining, spilling food and drink, dog ears, and spine breaking. Book magic is a slight, gentle magic and cannot repair these. If you do this to a friend-- erm, book I've loaned you... Well, they'll never find the body, that's what.
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Old 07-23-2005, 06:36 AM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
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Those of you who nix the spit technique probably don't want to use the public library ever again.
  #46  
Old 07-23-2005, 07:15 PM
Gary Robson Gary Robson is offline
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Don't lick my stuff. It's my stuff. Only I get to lick it. Not that I'd do that with a book anyway. I have too much respect for books. And I don't see the point anyway. I've never met a page I couldn't turn sans saliva.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalhoun
flip, flip, flip, fuck!, flip, flip hard, little bend in the page, fuck!, rub together to separate, rub together to separate
We're talking about licking the pages here, Kalhoun. Licking!
  #47  
Old 07-25-2005, 07:00 PM
Idle Thoughts Idle Thoughts is offline
 
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I laughed harder than I ever have at some of your replies. Thank you.
  #48  
Old 07-26-2005, 12:53 PM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InvisibleWombat
Don't lick my stuff. It's my stuff. Only I get to lick it. Not that I'd do that with a book anyway. I have too much respect for books. And I don't see the point anyway. I've never met a page I couldn't turn sans saliva.


We're talking about licking the pages here, Kalhoun. Licking!
No we're not! We're talking about licking your fingers to turn the pages. Fingers! Not pages! Re-read the OP.
  #49  
Old 07-27-2005, 04:38 PM
Gary Robson Gary Robson is offline
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Okay, so call it "indirect licking," like the cat does when it's cleaning its head and the tongue won't reach.

My comment to you was a joke, referring to your "lick, lick, fuck" comment. Licking body parts before touching my book with them is bad enough...
  #50  
Old 07-27-2005, 09:18 PM
Pythian Habenero Pythian Habenero is offline
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Hey, InvisibleWombat, how'd you come up with such a cool name?

On the topic of the thread: Strangers do not touch my books without my permission. Friends do not touch my books without my permission. Anyone who damages a book is forbidden from ever touching one of mine again. And as for licking it.... Yuck. Depending how highly I regard the person involved, it might rate anything from a "don't do that again, please" to a "Never go near one of my books again, you freak!"
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