Movie/Book quote

I tried to find the origin of this and failed - I remember it as a book quote but my SO thinks it was a movie. Paraphrased, the quote is “I could kill you ten different ways with this straw. Eleven if I kept the wrapper.”

Help, it’s driving me crazy!

I thought of this quote again as I sometimes do, and went to the internet to find where it was from. I was thrilled to find a Straight Dope thread on it, but then dismayed to see not a single reply in over 8 years. Also, it was posted by my wife.

Anyone have any insight on where this quote is from?

Okay, this probably isn’t it, but just in case. There was a short-lived TV show in 1992, called Raven, about a ninja hero. In one episode, he’s talking to a ninja villain who says something like, “There are nine ways I can kill you with what’s on this breakfast tray.”

Instantly, Raven says something like, “Twelve! There are twelve ways you can die here!”

It’s not exactly your quote, but it’s the way they talked on this series.

The best part was the way the villain looked around, desperately trying to identify the killing devices he had missed…

Sounds like something Leslie Nielsen would have said.

The quote sent me scrambling for the script to Grosse Pointe Blank, but that wasn’t it.

Ive never heard the line before, but it’s a good one. I found a discussion of it (with no solution as to it origin) on a martial arts Board.

And I found this:

http://hotair.com/headlines/archives/2011/05/13/they-could-kill-you-with-a-straw-13-different-ways-but-theyre-really-nice/

The page seems to suggest that it came from the Washington Post, but doesn’t give a date or particulars. The URL seems to indicate this page is from 2011, so it’s no later than that. Of course, the earlier Dope thread on this is from 2010, so that’s no help. And I doubt if you got the quote from an article.
edited to add: imdb gives nothin’

ooking on Google Books, I find that the phrase “I could kill you X different ways”, each with a different number for X, shows up a LOT of times, but:

1.) Most of them are since 2010
2.) None of them go on “…with this straw”
3.) None of them add an extra way if you leave in the wrapper (or anything else).

People have a perverse imagination in coming up with things they could use in multiple ways to kill people.

I found the quote on TV Tropes. Its from something called Itsa Living, apparently. I’ve never heard of it. Maybe they mean It’s a Living.

(Live TV section)

For some reason, that feels to me like maybe they ripped off the line from somewhere else and used it.