Here’s my layman’s understanding of ADHD: The ADD brain is weak on the ability to produce the stimulant chemicals needed to help one focus and for the brain to be ‘quiet’. Without that internal stimulus, the brain yammers around, jumping from idea to idea. So ADD children tend to seek to provide that stimulus externally. They fidget, they raise hell, etc.
What can turn ADD on and off is that if you are doing something you really like, the enjoyment and excitement of what you are doing causes the brain to quiet down and you can almost enter a trancelike state. As a kid, I used to ‘hyperfocus’ on things that really interested me. I’d study it day and night, think about it when I wasn’t reading about it, talk about it constantly, etc. If I was forced to be pulled off that task onto something I didn’t care about, then no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stay focused on it. My grades as a result were sometimes all over the place. If a course happened to match what I was interested in, it was straight-A time. If it didn’t, I really struggled to pay attention and to be able to focus on the material.
Some have theorized that this is why ADD people tend to gravitate towards occupations that have a high quotient of external stimulus - cops, firemen, pilots, actors, etc. There they can be highly successful. But take that same person, stick them behind a desk and tell them to shuffle papers, and they’ll be hopeless, disorganized, unable to remember what they are supposed to do, and generally miserable.
Without any scientific backing for this, I’ve aways wondered if the rise in ADD diagnoses in adults has to do with our elimination of smoking - nicotine is a powerful stimulant. I wonder if many smokers weren’t self-medicating ADD to some extent. Anyway, most ADD medications are stimulants of one sort or another.
So ADD isn’t just a condition that makes you crazy all the time. It’s a condition that requires the brain to seek external stimulus for what it’s lacking internally. If it can be provided in a productive way, ADD people can be wildly successful. Their brains facilitate ‘big picture’ lateral thinking, the ability to embrace large concepts instead of focusing on small details, etc. Thomas Edison, for example, always had about 50 inventions on the go. When he got interested in one, he’d hyperfocus on it and come up with wonders. If he lost interest before it was complete, he could just drop it and forget about for years, despite the fact that a week earlier it was all he could think about. Luckily for Edison, he managed to construct his life around the way his brain worked, and he was wildly successful. If he had been stuck, say, filing papers at the patent office, he might have been a miserable failure.
None of this is to say the kid you mention has ADD. I do believe some kids are diagnosed as ADD simply because they are poorly behaved. But the symptoms you describe could be perfectly consistent with ADD. For example, pitching a fit when he’s told do so something that he doesn’t want to do. If he’s hyperfocusing on something, being pulled out of that is extremely frustrating. He can’t stop thinking about it, so being told that he must do something else could be extremely frustrating for him.
Of course, spoiled brats behave the same way.
And there’s never anything wrong with a second opinion.