I’ve recently started a new job and the people here have a tendency to greet me in the hallway with “Alright?”.
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to respond. I tend to say “Good thanks, and you?” which sounds naff. Am I just supposed to say “Alright?” in return?
Yes. Often pronounced “aw-right?”. You are not expected to say whether or not you are actually alright.
In Ireland the commonest response would be “Alright?” or “How’s it going?”
The most you’d go with actually answering the question would be something like “No too bad” or the like. As Usarm says it’s not a real request, it’s an expression which can be replaced with “Hello”
But when I say “aw-right?” I sound really stupid…
Sound naff, or sound stupid…it’s a tough decision!
Please forgive this non-UK intrusion, but I’ve had the experience of being counter-greeted, after saying nothing more than the other person’s name, with “Purty good, you?” It tends to preclude any further exchange. Might work for you.
I still haven’t got the hang of that “all right” thing and I’ve lived here all of my life. Any random “greeting” reply should work, such as “Hello, how are you?” “Fine here, how are you?”, “Hello, how’s things” (yes I *know that’s a singular verb with a plural noun, but try not to worry). 
I suppose I’m used to sounding both stupid and naff. 
And if you are from New Zealand, and therefore have a sort of “foreigner’s licence to be a bit different”, then why not use it?
Like any version of “How are you?”, it does not require a real response. “Fine, thanks” or “Can’t complain!” are about as far as you need go. A five-minute description of how your dog died, your wife just left you, your chemotherapy is going badly, and your budgerigar is calling you nasty names will not go down well.
In addition, in the UK, you are not required to respond in the same dialect as your interlocutor, if that’s not your native dialect. You can respond with your own dialect’s version of “Fine” or “How are you?”, and people will be perfectly happy with that
The key thing is that you’re not actually being asked if you’re alright at all (so ‘fine thanks’ might be out of place).
Any general greeting should be fine - if you’re not comfortable responding with ‘alright’, you could just say ‘hi’, ‘hiya’, ‘how ya doin?’, or some such.
When I first moved to Ireland, I used to respond to “How’s it going?” with a summary of how it was actually going: “well I’m a bit skint at the moment and I’ve had a cold”. This was met with shocked embarrassement on the part of the requestor. In the end I learned that the correct answer is either “not too bad” or “never better”.
However in England, to “awright”, the correct response here is to respond in kind, accompanied by a curt, but friendly nod. It’s a “hello” for people who either don’t know each other, or know each other only vaguely, or are in a hurry.
Two British acquaintances passing in a corridor:
Person A: “Alright?”
Person B: “Yeah, I’m alright.”
Person A: “Alright.”
Person B: “Alright, see you!”
Person A: “Alright.”
Oh you must be exaggerating for amusement’s sake. Surely you were not accustomed to explaining how things were actually going in response to “how do you do”, or “hello, how are you?”. Trouble is, I sometimes forget whether **Jjimm **is English or U.S. in origin, (sorry) so it’s just possible that the other ones I mentioned left you confused too.
Hey, aren’t we supposed to say “mustn’t grumble”, anyway? (Note, but in fact one *must *grumble, usually about the 'bus, the train, or OF COURSE, the weather.) That means you can really mess with people’s head on the random day you choose to give a cheery “Great, thanks, lovely weather today, eh?”
Sandra-NZ, honestly, any vague “Hello there” or “hi there” will do.
I sometimes think, hoping not to tempt fate here, that if I were to have to lose any one thing, speech would be the least bad option. I would avoid much awkwardness by merely grinning and waving a little printed card or written note, saying “not able to speak, good morning, afternoon, evening, delete as applicable, and I trust you are well”.
Ach hell, on second thoughts, that might only add to the confusion with a lot of people in my locality, many being from overseas for one reason or another - that is, the people here to do postgraduate study might be fine with that, but a refugee with extremely limited English might be a bit freaked by being expected to read English for no reason. I reckon for the traditional awkward in the lift (elevator) scenario or doing the “after you through the door” dance, I had best just stick to the vague nod and “hello”.
Cool, I think going forward I shall respond with ‘Heya’ which is my standard corridor greeting. Thanks all for responses!
I forget where and when I heard the recommended way for being ultra-cool and noncommittal in such situations, especially if you don’t want to be perceived as wanting any further discussion(s), but I was advised to give a barely perceptible nod of the head and utter almost under the breath, “Yo.”
If you wear a hat or cap, touching the brim with a finger saves breath.
On reflection, Capt. Ridley’s Shooting Party probably has it spot on.
(Mere idiom of course: actual spots are not required and might tend you suggest that your health was less than all right)
Okely Dokely neighbour
The first time I heard someone greet me this way, I furrowed my brow and responded, “Yeah, why?” I figured someone had told this person that I wasn’t alright and he was checking up to make sure I had calmed down/cheered up/stopped vomiting. I never did get the hang of responding to “Alright?”.
I’ve lived here 54 years and have heard the following greetings, usually as people go past me:
In all cases a smile and hi (or fine, thanks) go down well.
The important thing is the polite acknowledgement.
A nod helps as well.
*actually that one may be different…
Does anybody really ask, “How’s yer mum?” as the Geico gecko does?
You can reply with an " 'right" or “aw-right” as others have said. Just try and avoid the temptation of saying,“No, I’m half left.”
I’m confused. I thought the standard proper British greeting was “Yo yo yo, wassup, homes?”