But...But... They're made of *MEAT*

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

As mentioned in some other thread, I’m currently out of (looking for) work - one of the effects of this is a bit of an economy drive… well, actually and economy walk - I’m going on foot wherever possible.

So yesterday I walked the few miles to the bank and shops - it was a nice day, so this was quite pleasant. On the way home I witnessed a fatal accident.

No humans came to harm though - the victim was a member of the quite considerable population of a wood pigeons we have around here. It struck the car windscreen and was propelled high into the air, descending in a fluttery parabola through a cloud of feathers to land on the path directly across the road from me, where it lay fluttering and twiching.

The driver pulled over and stopped - an elderly lady. Thinking about the distress suffered by all parties, I crossed the road, with the intention of putting the obviously-mortally-wounded pigeon out of its misery (and saving the woman the upset of seeing it suffer), but by the time I got across, it had already expired.

So there’s me. Mangetout, standing over the lifeless, plump body of a young wood pigeon. Anyone that has known me for more than a second will know exactly what thoughts were running through my head. For those that have just met me, allow me to fill in the blank: I was thinking “Hmmm… a little red wine, some garlic and mushrooms and a slow braise in a low oven…”

My reverie was interrupted by the arrival on scene of the driver. “Ohhh, poor thing!”, she said.

“Don’t worry, it was an accident - there’s nothing you could have done to avoid it,” I reassured her

“I’ll take it home and bury it,” she replied

“Don’t worry yourself, I’ll deal with it,” I said

“I’ll bury it in the garden,” she said, appearing not to have heard me

“It’s OK,” I told her, as gently as I could, “I’ll take it home and cook it - might as well make some use of all this,”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly let you do that,” she replied

I tried weakly responding with "It’s really not any trouble… ", but she had already picked it up and that was the end of the matter. What a waste. I should have just picked it up and run with it while I had the chance.
Edit/Delete Message

2

You don’t know of Terry Bisson by any chance, do you? Because that’s what I thought this would be about.

3

Phew, glad I wasn’t the only one that expected that.

4

I just figured he’d been over to my MySpace page(Made Of Meat video available).

I didn’t see the thread mentioned in the OP but have read the solicitation on Atomicshrimp.com, hope the job search is going well.

5

Mmm, pigeon. I love pigeon. Especially in Chinese restaurants.

I wonder though, is it safe to eat any old pigeon whose expiration you have just witnessed? You know it’s fresh and didn’t die of a disease, but … maybe it just ate pigeon poison 10 minutes ago somewhere else? And wild birds are supposed to be incredible disease carriers, aren’t they?

I also wonder, maybe the old lady wanted to eat the pigeon?

6

Yeah, maybe “Bury it in the garden” was a euphamism for “Drop it in a pot with some carrots and 'taters, maybe a bay leaf and a clove of garlic or two.”

7

People shoot and eat wood pigeon around here, so I think it would be as safe as any other - I passed another dead pigeon on the way home that had also clearly been struck by a car, but as I didn’t know how long it had been there, I left it for the foxes.

Maybe, but I think not in this case - she seemed genuinely upset.

Maybe I should have been the one to say I’d take it home and give it a respectful burial.

8

How much meat is there on a pigeon?

9

I think they’re referred to as squab when eaten. They aren’t huge, but there’s enough meat to make it worthwhile. No firsthand experience, but I’ve always heard it’s quite popular in the mid-East. Usually the images I see show them being spit-roasted whole or spatchcocked and grilled.

10

Wow. You really WILL mange tout!

11

Yeah but really, who amongst us hasn’t eaten road kill at least once or twice in our lives?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

Just me, a deer and a couple of rabbits then?

12

You want pigeon? Come to my place, I have more pigeons than I know what to do with and would LOVE to get rid of a few! (I live in NYC, the flying rat capital of the world.)

13

Lovely OP, quite a joy. Treat yourself to a game bird next time you are in town…you deserve it.

14

A while back (in the old days, when I was gainfully employed), I took a trip to Hong Kong to help set up a database for one of my company’s satellite offices. Over the course of my stint there, I befriended a couple of the tech guys, who were super-cool in showing me the fun places to go in the area.

One place they took me to was a Vietnamese restaurant, and as we perused the menu, they suggested the fried pigeon to me. Of course, I eagerly accepted. Now, I can’t speak to any local food traditions, Chinese, Vietnamese, or otherwise. But at this particular restaurant, they pretty much fry up the whole pigeon for you. You get a whole bird encased in the breading or whatever - including beak, eyes, etc. I’m pretty sure they took me there so they could have a laugh, but little did they know that I would dig in without so much as a hint of hesitation.

Sure, this is slightly off-topic. But I guess my point is that pigeon can be pretty damn tasty…

15

Where my parents come from, you hit a deer on the road and you pay the Duke of Abercorn for the experience. After that, you’d bloody well better be getting the deer to eat.

But to the OP, my mum has standing orders that if any of us hit a pigeon with the car, we bring it home for her to eat.

16

Not in the UK. It’s just pigeon. At least according to the River Cottage Meat Book.

17

Three questions come to mind.

Firstly, how much of the car would survive?

Secondly, how much of the front seat occupants would survive or be in a position to make use of the freshly killed venison?

Thirdly, how does one despatch a wounded deer using tools that an average someone in the UK would have in their car?

18

Ick. I know some people eat them but after seeing a whole bunch of sick and injured ones over many years and all the things that crawl around on them and in them, I don’t even like touching them so I am certainly not going to eat them. You may have my share of any dead pigeons you find.

By the way, make sure you clean them outside in case they have pigeon flies. These things are extremely annoying and like to fly right at you and run around on you. :eek: I can deal with maggoty wounds but pigeon flies make me run screaming from the room. If they get loose in the building they will hang around to torment you for a while, usually patiently waiting on a wall until you walk by so they can fly at you again.

19

The car takes a hit, but it’s not like running into a horse or a cow on the road. When I moved out here, the neighbors said you’re better off to hit the brakes and hit the deer. Don’t swerve, you might go off the road or hit someone else. Wear your seat belt and chances are you’ll be fine, barring some kind of freak accident. Here’s a nice article that includes pointers on the proper way to hit a deer. One lady in the article had hit more than a few deer. And, it includes this important legal advice:

I don’t know if it’s legal to kill one that’s injured and down, even if it did seem more merciful.

20

Heck, if it smells like there’s some flavor left, I’ll pry the gum off the bottom of the theater seat.