An anxious achondroplastic patient

Not long ago, but not recently, a new patient came to see me. It was his first time in prison, and that brings its own sets of stresses and strains. But given his diagnosis of achondroplasia, his need for additional medical assessment was indeed genuine. Achondroplasia does often result in certain musculo-skeletal difficulties beyond the basic dwarfism it causes, and he did have certain signs of thoracic outlet syndrome, a painful but not harmful condition.

I did my best to educate him about the syndrome, and what he needed to do about it (exercises, mostly). He was still quite concerned that prison would not be able to accomodate his needs, but in my medical opinion we were quite capable of giving him what he needed, if not what he wanted. He left mildly assuaged, but still anxious.

It wasn’t long before he put in a request to see me again, raising more concerns about his situation. After discussing it with the nurse, I agreed to put him on my schedule.

When he arrived for his appointment, he came into my office, and I closed the door. I asked him how he was doing.

His response: “Doc, I’m not happy.”

I couldn’t help it. I really couldn’t. The next words out of my mouth were:

“Well, which one are you then?”

:eek::eek:

Fortunately he laughed. So did I, and I apologized for the remark, and he accepted it.

I suspect he set me up with that irresistable straight line! :smiley:
[sub]PS: anyone mentioning HIPAA gets pitted. This is no HIPAA violation[/sub]

LOL! I love medical humor. I was having severe problems with numbness and pain several years ago–would wake up not able to feel my arm, for example. It was a very anxiety-provoking time. My doctor returned a call one day when things were particularly bad. When I told him things had worsened and I was now having problems with both arms and my right leg, he asked, “So what about your left leg?”

The way he asked it, it sounded like the setup to a joke in which I replied, “My left leg is just fine, Doctor.” And then he’d respond, “Then what are you complaining about?” So when he asked, I immediately started laughing so hard I couldn’t answer at first. I’m sure he thought I was nuts, but dang it was good to laugh.

Classic!

Oh, dear Og.

Which is ironic, because he’s in there for hippo violation.
(No, not really.)

Wow, you have really huge balls cracking a dwarf joke to a dwarf IN PRISON.

Damn, dude. :eek:

Prison + medical humor + play on words = genius!

Along the same lines, a few years ago I complained to a doctor that something or other hurt when I moved it a certain way, to which he replied, with a straight face, “So don’t move it that way, then.”

Fortunately, I let him live.

QtM, if you ever need a consult about something to do with your patient’s achondroplasia, you can talk to one of the docs on the LPA (Little People of America) medical advisory board. They’re all really terrific about helping folks with dwarfism questions, and they’re all recognized experts.

I had to read that 3 times before I got it and I am an ex-animator!

signed, Dopey.

Hmm. I had a doctor say something to me that was similar. At the time, I didn’t realize he could have been joking, so I was flaming mad. Maybe he really was joking. It didn’t even occur to me. Thanks for the insight.

Wrong patient.

Og was the subject of another one of Quadgop’s* threads

*Added a “u” for anticipated pitting. :smiley:

It’s an old Groucho Marx joke, but I imagine the reference is becoming more and more lost over time.

Well, you knew for sure he wasn’t “Doc” :smiley:

:smiley:
Of course if he really wanted to earn points with you Doc, he would have answered, Gimli son of Gloin or something along those lines.

[freaky]Did I just subliminally read this thread? The last thing I did before I read this thread was randomly google to see how many people wrote about “Hippo Violations”. You don’t know how many people are apparently “in there for hippo violations”! (And you thought Hal was bad!)

Is that freaky music I hear the “Twilight Zone” accompaniment to a coincidence, or does it mark the appearance of a zombie?