…Or just make some up. Tom Swifties explained.
I’ll start:
“I can’t believe I ate so much pineapple,” Tom said dolefully.
“The steering wheel won’t budge!” Tom cried straightforwardly.
“I just adore St. Louis,” Tom said archly.
“This Halloween I’m going as Catwoman,” Tom said earthily.
The punnier the better, people. 
“Let’s look for another Grail!” Tom requested.
“I used to be a pilot,” Tom explained.
“I’m into homosexual necrophilia,” said Tom in dead earnest.
ETA (none of those are mine, BTW - they’re from the Annotated Pratchett File)
“I can clean out drains with my mouth,” Tom said succinctly.
That is…really wonderful.
“I dropped the toothpaste!” said Tom, crestfallen.
“Oh yes,” Tom ejaculated.
“I think i might be schizophrenic” said Tom, being frank.
“We’re 36,000 feet above Nebraska,” Tom plainly stated.
“AARRGGHH! I’ve just been stabbed in the chest,” said Tom, half-heartedly.
“Man, that’s an ugly Hippopotamidae,” said Tom, hypocritically.
“I like ragged margins,” said Tom, without justification.
(Funny, I thought of starting one of these)
“It’s all gone dark!” said Tom delightedly.
“That’s not a laser!” cried Tom incoherently.
I don’t get it.
“We’re going off the road again!” said Tom reveredly.
“Where’s the attendance roll?” Tom said listlessly.
The late Eartha Kitt replaced Julie Newmar as Catwoman on the 60s TV Batman.
“I really shouldn’t have reached into the corn thresher while it was still running,” Tom said off-handedly
“So, you’re a member of the San Francisco chapter of Mensa,” said Tom, homogeneously.
d&r
“I’m going to clean the laundry”, Tom Shouted.
“I’m planning on marrying my black girlfriend,” Tom said lovingly.
“I just the fleshlight,” Tom said accidentally.
“I hate Chinese food,” Tom said derisively
“Pimpin’ ain’t easy,” Tom said back-handedly.
“Wait, I said ‘I give up!’” Tom recapitulated.
Heh.
I’m really enjoying a lot of these. Very much liked Ludovic’s subtle Supreme Court joke, for example.