Straight Dope Message Board

[pkbites]

I put this in GQ because I'm wondering if there isn't some psychology to this.

I have a business acquaintance that I do some consulting for once, and at the most twice a year. He's a very pleasant person and would otherwise be a pleasure to deal with.

Except he wreaks to high heaven.

It's not a "I just worked out at the gym and haven't showered yet" smell.
It's not a "I worked hard all day and need a shower" odor.
It's not a "I'm a very heavy sweater and can't help this" funk.
It's not "I have a colostomy or other medical condition" nosefull.

It is a "it's early in the morning and I stink because I never goddamn bathe" stench!

WTF?

Every now and then you'll see a letter to Dear Abbey from some poor woman complaining about her husband not bathing.

What's the deal with this? Do these people not realize that at very least a person should bathe at least every other day, preferably every day, if not twice a day?

What's going on in the heads of these folks?

This guy doesn't even use heavy cologne to try and cover it up.

[Colibri]

Since this requires speculation, it's better suited for IMHO than GQ.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator

[Mosier]

The only GQ worthy response you're going to get is that standards of hygiene are not universal. A non-GQ response is that he probably doesn't realize he stinks.

[Blaster Master]

I've seen a few people who even appear to bathe but still smell horrific. I think the problem is that generally people can't tell how badly they smell and, chances are, no one really feels comfortable telling them how much they smell. So, they just go on smelling bad none the wiser.

[Eyebrows 0f Doom]

I had a co-worker once who we all noticed had this really nauseating smell that would float in the air around him. It was sickly sweet, almost like something rotting. It was absolutely disgusting. Our boss had to actually pull him aside several times and tell him in private that there was an odor problem. Supposedly what was happening was the co-worker lived in a house that was falling apart (it was later condemned and he was forced to move to a shelter) and had no hot water, so when the weather got cold he would bathe less and less. And he was a huge guy, in both height and weight, with hip & knee problems, so he likely couldn't reach all parts to clean them.

[RealityChuck]

Originally Posted by pkbites

What's the deal with this? Do these people not realize that at very least a person should bathe at least every other day, preferably every day, if not twice a day?

Nonsense. Assuming you're not working out or doing a job that makes you sweat, twice a week is fine -- especially if you change your clothes daily. Once a week is probably pushing it, though.

[ZipperJJ]

How do his clothes look? Maybe he just doesn't clean his clothes enough...

Altho I do know a guy who doesn't bathe. He's just plain stupid and lazy.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by RealityChuck

Nonsense. Assuming you're not working out or doing a job that makes you sweat, twice a week is fine -- especially if you change your clothes daily. Once a week is probably pushing it, though.

It depends on your natural sweat and oiliness, I would say. And your hair, I suppose. I couldn't get away with bathing twice a week. I don't know, I assumed all Indians

[jjimm]

I've got a friend who never brushes her teeth in the morning. It's simply ghastly. No idea why.

[robby]

Originally Posted by pkbites

...Except he wreaks to high heaven.

Sorry about the nitpick, but the word you want here is "reeks," not "wreaks."

[Ellen Cherry]

Originally Posted by robby

Sorry about the nitpick, but the word you want here is "reeks," not "wreaks."

But the smell wreaks havoc wherever he goes.

[JohnT]

Likely caused a few wrecks as well...

[Nzinga, Seated]

And Rex. Caused poor Rex in accounting to keel over.

[Ellen Cherry]

He keel someone with that stink too.

[pbbth]

Some people are really, really lazy and just never want to put in the 15 minutes it takes to get in the shower, soap up, rinse off, dry off, hang up the towel, and put on clothes again. Some people are hoarders and have filled their bathrooms with so much crap (both literal and figurative) that they can't get inside it any longer even if they did want to wash. Some people wash regularly and have medical problems that cause them to stink horribly. Some people bathe regularly but rarely wash their clothes, sheets, or towels so they smell from the built up funk in their fabrics.

I don't think you'll ever know what causes it for this particular guy. If you like him you may want to take him out for a drink (somewhere with an outdoor seating area!) and tell him that you are concerned for him because of his smell and see what he says.

[pkbites]

Originally Posted by RealityChuck

Nonsense. Assuming you're not working out or doing a job that makes you sweat, twice a week is fine -- especially if you change your clothes daily. Once a week is probably pushing it, though.

I was afraid I'd catch some flak for saying every-other-day. But only twice a week?

No way is that enough for an adult man or woman who is having any interactions with anyone else! Just the act of sleeping causes a person to sweat and build up body odor.

If you live alone and don't go anywhere, fine. Stink all you want. Otherwise conform to the standards of civilized society.

As for this acquaintance, he is a well paid businessman who wears what appears to be clean/pressed clothes every time I've seen him. I know he has a "common law" wife at home. I've never met her so I wonder how she can stand it. Either she's one of those women who complains about her mans hygiene or she stinks like a litter box too!

[gwendee]

Are you sure he doesn't bathe? Is it possible that the problem is infact that he doesn't launder?

Someone I know, has dulled his own sense of smell with years of smoking. He will step out of the shower smelling oh so appealingly of soap and shaving cream with a hint of actual dude. Then he will grab and put on clothes that should have been in the hamper two wearings ago. I have to believe he can't smell it.

I don't shower daily in winter. My skin becomes painfully dry and flaky, not to mention how unattractive the whole mess is. I am scrupulous about wearing clean clothes, though.

[Markxxx]

Sure you could easily go a week without bathing and not having anyone notice.

You just don't notice the ones who can do this.

I worked with a guy from Pakistan and he had a STENCH about him that was awful. And I couldn't figure that out. He was clean, his clothes were clean, I just assumed it was some kind of "ethnic food"that he ate that made him like that. He was always bringing these Pakistani dishes to eat at lunch.

My mother was big on brewers yeast and if she over did it and took too much, it would come out of her pores and it wasn't a nice smell.

So could a food such as garlic or something do this.

[descamisado]

Originally Posted by Ellen Cherry

He keel someone with that stink too.

Bath-es? We don't need no stinkin' bath-es.

[cwthree]

Originally Posted by Markxxx

I worked with a guy from Pakistan and he had a STENCH about him that was awful. And I couldn't figure that out. He was clean, his clothes were clean, I just assumed it was some kind of "ethnic food"that he ate that made him like that. He was always bringing these Pakistani dishes to eat at lunch.

My mother was big on brewers yeast and if she over did it and took too much, it would come out of her pores and it wasn't a nice smell.

So could a food such as garlic or something do this.

Yeah, garlic can make people stink all over. Not just the breath - the perspiration gets a nasty, not-normal-perspiration funk.

Food supplements that are high in sulfur can do it, too. cwPartner was big on MSM supplements for a while. He's fastidious about his hygiene, but he smelled like a combination of feces and stale meat the whole time he was taking the stuff.

[Bewildebeest]

I used to work with a guy who never washed, never changed his clothes, and owned a horse. Talk about making your eyes water! There was a big grease stain on his office chair. When he was finally laid off, they threw out his office furniture and changed the carpet.

This guy had a doctorate in physics.

When his wife left him, he just stopped caring.

[Silver Tyger]

Originally Posted by pkbites

I was afraid I'd catch some flak for saying every-other-day. But only twice a week?

No way is that enough for an adult man or woman who is having any interactions with anyone else! Just the act of sleeping causes a person to sweat and build up body odor.

Seriously, ymmv. I don't sweat at night except in the summer. In the winter, I tend to bath twice a week (clean clothes everyday). I haven't gotten complaints, and I assure you my family isn't shy. I'm more sensitive to smells than them as well.

[SciFiSam]

Originally Posted by pkbites

I was afraid I'd catch some flak for saying every-other-day. But only twice a week?

No way is that enough for an adult man or woman who is having any interactions with anyone else! Just the act of sleeping causes a person to sweat and build up body odor.

If you live alone and don't go anywhere, fine. Stink all you want. Otherwise conform to the standards of civilized society.

It's only on this board that I've come across the idea that everyone should bathe/shower daily, and if not they're weird and probably smelly. I find it really odd.

There was a thread recently about people who 'didn't bathe' based on an article with the same premise, and it turned out to actually be about people who didn't wash their hair daily. Most of them showered and the one who bathed least (once every two days! Gasp!) carried wipes around with her.

What the hell are people doing to smell so much? Sure, some individuals need to wash more often than others despite similar levels of activity - there's variance in sweat glands and sweat production - but ordinary people in non-physical jobs don't generally reek after one day without a bath or shower.

My friends would definitely tell me if I smelt anything but lovely.

Anyway... Is this colleague extremely overweight? That can make a difference to how easy it is to keep clean and stay smelling clean throughout the day. (Obviously, most extremely overweight people aren't like this - but it could make a difference).

Or he could have hyperhidrosis if he appears to be otherwise healthy and well-dressed. Not that this is necessarily an excuse for smelling so bad it hurts, but it's possibly an answer to your question.

Hopefully his wife is also an anosmiac. That could be the ideal pairing!

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by RealityChuck

Nonsense. Assuming you're not working out or doing a job that makes you sweat, twice a week is fine -- especially if you change your clothes daily. Once a week is probably pushing it, though.

Before I came to this board, I actually couldn't believe there are people who don't bathe daily. Hair is one thing -- everyone's hair is different (mine is the type that has to be washed every day), and not everyone needs deodorant/anti-perspirant, etc. But barring some kind of skin-condition, I really can't imagine NOT taking a shower every night. In fact, when I was in the hospital three years ago, I was only able to take a "whore bath" every day -- and by the time I got home I was ready to climb the freaking walls*. I love taking a nice, hot shower and having my skin feel all nice and clean and tingly.

I mean, to each his own and all, but yeah. It's just a foreign concept to me.





*The worst part was that I had an EEG and they had to attach those electrodes to your scalp, so my hair had all those little sticky things in it, and I couldn't get them out with my brush. Yuck.

[Cat Whisperer]

I think the "absolutely must bathe every single day" is an oddity, too, if you're not, you know, hoisting bales for a living or something. I don't shower every single day (and my skin thanks me for it); I do wear anti-perspirant or deodorant every day, and wash my clothes regularly - I'm pretty sure I'm not stinking up the joint. My husband showers about every other day, too, and he doesn't stink either.

That said, I don't know why someone would not bathe at a minimum of once a week. You either can't smell it or you don't care; one of the two.

[ramel]

I have a bath once a week. Occasionally I have been known to miss a week. *hears people recoil in horror* Everyone in my family does this and has always done this. In my entire life, nobody ever had a problem with this. Not one person.

That is, until I started talking to people online, especially Americans.

Okay, having multiple baths a week isn't too strange. There have been times when I've done this. Some people have a shower everyday, which quite frankly I think is a bit extreme, but okay. But when people shower multiple times a day, quite frankly I think you are mentally ill. You are showing signs of OCD. If you're not a coal miner, surgeon, sewer worker or some other job like that, then there's just no excuse or reason for such behaviour.

Throughout human history large number of cultures have coped with NEVER having baths. Their civilisations didn't collapse in waves of pestilence and stinkiness.

Since the late Victorian age, humans discovered germ theory and that never cleaning is a pretty bad idea.

So what do I do? I have a bath roughly once a week. Occasionally I have an extra bath if I need one. Occasionally I skip a week. I change my clothes. I wash my hands after I go to the toilet for any reason. Okay, I don't pee on my hands so that may be pointless, but I do it anyway. I also wash my hands before I handle food.

So, what does my constantly being caked in an average of three whole days worth of filth do to my health!?!?

2010 Right now I have a cough. Apart from that, I haven't been ill all year.
2009 I wasn't ill at all. Not once.
2008 I think I had two colds.
2007 I think I had one cold.

Beyond that I don't remember very well. But on average I have one or two colds a year.

In 2002 I caught a stomach bug. I haven't thrown up since.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this isn't the health record of someone being ravaged by filth and disease.

[Guinastasia]

I've had an extra shower in the morning, just a quick rinse in the morning if I'm sick, or if I fell and I'm sore to make my muscles feel better.

[Joey P]

Yet another possibility...
There's a sales person who comes into my store a few times a week. From time to time the guy will smell terrible. Bad enough that if he's in the office for more the a few minutes we'll have to let it air out for a little while. Couldn't figure it out either, wasn't anything I could pin point, but it was awful. A few weeks ago, whatever it was had flared up again. He walked past my ex-wife who promptly pulled me off to the side and said that the smell that he's emitting is exactly what her mouth tastes like when her tonsil stones flare up.

So, is it possible that he does bathe but has some sort of a mouth or dental problem/infection?

BTW, This smell is so over powering I didn't even think that it could be his breath. It's not that he stunk when he talked to you, it's that he just fills the room with stench as soon as he enters it.

[kenobi 65]

I had a roommate in college who rarely bathed / showered. I'd guess once every few weeks, at the most.

He claimed that he had eczema, and that showering dried his skin out and made it worse.

He definitely did have a not-particularly-pleasant odor about him, but it wasn't eye-watering. Honestly, it surprised me that he didn't smell even worse than he did. The fact that he was pretty sedentary may have helped, to an extent.

I'll note that he was just sort of odd in general (beyond the bathing thing) -- he had the stereotypical socially-awkward engineer thing going. He also had the unfortunate combination of being a math prodigy, and dyslexic.

[kenobi 65]

Originally Posted by ramel

That is, until I started talking to people online, especially Americans.

I'm just curious...where do you live?

Originally Posted by ramel

I wash my hands after I go to the toilet for any reason. Okay, I don't pee on my hands so that may be pointless, but I do it anyway.

Washing your hands after using the toilet has little to do with your urine being unhygenic (ISTR that urine, itself, is usually sterile when it leaves your body). The issue is in handling your genitals, which *will* have considerable levels bacteria on them.

[jjimm]

I'm Brit, I shower once a day, or twice if I've been exercising and sweating. I would consider myself to smell unacceptably bad if I missed a day. And I pretty much do "recoil in horror" at ramel's "sometimes I skip a week" assertion.

ramel, do you wash yourself with a flannel or towel between baths, even if you don't go for full immersion? I can't imagine your groin, ass or armpits being particularly pleasant to be near if you don't, even through your clothing.

You mention not getting sick, but it's not necessarily about hygiene, it's about culturally acceptable smells. If you've never had complaints it might be because you're in a place where that level of odour is culturally acceptable. Either that or you live in such a cold environment that the bacteria don't reproduce and exude all the byproducts of their existence that make us humans stink.

[kambuckta]

The only time I don't shower daily is when I'm out camping in the bush, getting down and dirty and ferally stinky for days on end...........and the most luxurious, delightful, righteously exquisite feeling is jumping in the shower, turning on the super-hot water, sloshing the soap and shampoo all over my grungy bod and washing myself clean again.

I've thought of going more than a day at home, but it's not the same.

[Eliahna]

I know a girl* who just stinks. She showers or bathes twice a day and uses deodorant, and that keeps it down to a manageable level most days - noticeable but not noxious. I don't know the details of it but I understand she had some kind of operation or medical procedure to try to correct it but it didn't work. I've known her since I was twelve years old and this problem was happening then - except back then we were in school and she was teased mercilessly by our fellow students.

These days I think people are too polite to say anything, except for my ex who walked in once after she'd been visiting for a few hours on a warm day and started loudly complaining about the mysterious stench in the house, and kept missing my subtle clues to STFU about the smell.

*Any time I tell a story that starts "I know this girl", it's usually this same girl. Huh. I didn't realise she was so interesting.

[Súil Dubh]

Originally Posted by Silver Tyger Girl

Seriously, ymmv. I don't sweat at night except in the summer. In the winter, I tend to bath twice a week (clean clothes everyday). I haven't gotten complaints, and I assure you my family isn't shy. I'm more sensitive to smells than them as well.

Yeah, I agree about the YMMV.

When I was in high school and university I was a spikey-hair, combat-boot, studded-leather-jacket, punk rocker as were most of my friends.

I used to shower regularly, but I'd wear the same t-shirt and jeans for a few days at a time. Other friends would only shower once or twice a week. No one smelled particularly awfully. I mean, we weren't fresh as daisies, but we certainly weren't reeking.

One of my friends was complaining about another guy we both new. "That guy's so lame, he probably showers every day," my friend told me.

[Manda JO]

I shower once a day if I leave the house, and I never wear dirty clothes. This isn't because I am fastidious, but because I am not, at all. I seem to totally lack the instinct that makes people dislike being dirty, and so if I don't artificially control myself, I could slip into bathing once a week or less. And, I have greasy hair. One time in ten years I didn't wash it before going to work (plumbing problems) and I had a kid ask me why my hair was so greasy.

But I can totally believe that some people can get away with showering once or twice a week.

[Hairy Bob]

When I were a lad, livin' in't North of England, thu' wu' 5 o' us in our 'ouse, and we 'ad one bath a week, Sunday night, whether we needed it or not. When I say we had one bath a week, I mean between the five of us, the bath was filled once, and maybe topped up if we splashed a lot.
I'm thankful we at least had a bathroom, my father clearly recalls the tin bath in front of the fire, and him lining up with his four brothers and five sisters to be dipped, scrubbed and towelled off by my grandparents before Sunday bedtime.
I still only shower once a week, or more if I've got mucky/smelly at work (which is less often now than when I was a site labourer) and my wife is quick of the mark to tell me when I smell even slightly bad.
"Get in that shower, now! You needn't think you're stinking out this house when I've spent all day cleaning it!", in extreme cases...

[ratatoskK]

Some people say they don't like water on their skin or are afraid of water. So some kind of mental problem could be involved.

[Johnny L.A.]

Originally Posted by ramel

So, what does my constantly being caked in an average of three whole days worth of filth do to my health!?!?

2010 Right now I have a cough. Apart from that, I haven't been ill all year.
2009 I wasn't ill at all. Not once.
2008 I think I had two colds.
2007 I think I had one cold.

Maybe people won't get close enough to you to pass on their germs.

[Zsofia]

If I didn't shower in the morning I'd have to go to work with my hair sticking up! Showering is the quickest way by far to get it looking normal.

I did go without for a week once on a schooner. Whores baths every morning, of course (cold water, unless you wanted to haul your greasy ass up on deck and to the head.) Nobody smelled, and we were working hard! Of course, it might have been one of those "living medieval" things where we all smelled so nobody noticed it, but we ate below decks in very close quarters and nobody seemed particularly stinky. Lots of fresh air, of course. And we did get rained on once.

Now, when I went to go home and got upgraded to first class, the people at the Rockland, ME airport were very nice about letting me leave my bags sitting there in the middle of the terminal and taking a very thorough whore's bath in their bathroom so I didn't embarrass the airline.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by jjimm

<snip> Either that or you live in such a cold environment that the bacteria don't reproduce and exude all the byproducts of their existence that make us humans stink.

Living in a cold place doesn't really make people stink less - it might, if malls would learn that shoppers are wearing three layers of clothes and a parka in winter. The parka and winter clothes are a whole 'nother issue - parkas can be difficult to clean, and if it's your only one (and it very often is), you're not going to be washing it until winter's over (if at all). Heaven help the smokers - at least they are being forced to air out their parkas every time they go out for a smoke.

[pepperlandgirl]

Originally Posted by kenobi 65

I'm just curious...where do you live?



Washing your hands after using the toilet has little to do with your urine being unhygenic (ISTR that urine, itself, is usually sterile when it leaves your body). The issue is in handling your genitals, which *will* have considerable levels bacteria on them.

What nasty levels of bacteria would you expect to find on your genitals? And how could there be so much that washing your hands after briefly touching them is absolutely required? Would you perform oral sex on somebody without insisting on a bath or at least a wipe-down first?

[monstro]

I don't understand multiple showers a day. Unless you've been working out or have been sweating all day in the heat, that just seems like overkill.

I also don't understand people who shower in the morning. I would feel icky sleeping in a day's worth of dirt. I don't think I'm an unusually funky person, but over the course of a day my skin accumulates things. My underwear isn't clean. I just sleep better knowing that I'm not funking up my sheets. And then I can just jump out of bed in the morning without wasting precious sleeptime in the shower.

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

Whores baths every morning, of course...

'Whore's bath'? Do you mean a sponge bath or a wipe-down with a soapy cloth?

[Eyebrows 0f Doom]

Originally Posted by ramel

I have a bath once a week. Occasionally I have been known to miss a week.


Correct me if I'm wrong, but this isn't the health record of someone being ravaged by filth and disease.

Who said anything about health? If you only take one bath per week, and sometimes not even that, you stink. You could be the healthiest person alive, it won't make a difference if you smell awful.

So, what does my constantly being caked in an average of three whole days worth of filth do to my health!?!?

If you take one bath per week, that's seven days of filth on your body, not three.

[Zsofia]

Originally Posted by Sunspace

'Whore's bath'? Do you mean a sponge bath or a wipe-down with a soapy cloth?

Yeah, you know, you take your washcloth and you give your face, armpits, and hoo-ha a, dare I say, lick and a promise.

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

Yeah, you know, you take your washcloth and you give your face, armpits, and hoo-ha a, dare I say, lick and a promise.

That's more-or-less what I thought, but I'd never heard the expression 'whore's bath' before.

[kapri]

I never realized that some adults didn't shower every day, or almost every day, until I started reading the Dope. In my circle of friends and family, a daily shower is expected--mandatory, even. Sure, sometimes people don't shower once in a while because they are sick or are having a lazy day at home, but everyone I know showers on average at least once a day.

And I don't understand what having/not having a cold has to do with it. I shower at least once a day, and I haven't had a cold in years.

I think people who shower only once or twice a week are fooling themselves that they don't smell. Nonbathers smell stale at best and horrible and disgusting at worse.

[kapri]

Originally Posted by monstro

I don't understand multiple showers a day. Unless you've been working out or have been sweating all day in the heat, that just seems like overkill.

I also don't understand people who shower in the morning. I would feel icky sleeping in a day's worth of dirt. I don't think I'm an unusually funky person, but over the course of a day my skin accumulates things. My underwear isn't clean. I just sleep better knowing that I'm not funking up my sheets. And then I can just jump out of bed in the morning without wasting precious sleeptime in the shower.

If I shower at night--and I sometimes do--I have another shower in the morning, because I don't feel clean just getting up and putting on clothes. So to me, showering only at night is icky. Also, I put on clean underwear before I go to bed every night (although lots of people don't wear any underwear to bed).

[pepperlandgirl]

Originally Posted by kapri

I never realized that some adults didn't shower every day, or almost every day, until I started reading the Dope. In my circle of friends and family, a daily shower is expected--mandatory, even. Sure, sometimes people don't shower once in a while because they are sick or are having a lazy day at home, but everyone I know showers on average at least once a day.

Mandatory? How do you punish the non-compliers? How do you know when somebody doesn't shower? Are you literally sniffing at their armpits and crotch to figure it out?

Kapri: Hey, did you shower today?
Kapri's Friend: Yeah, this morning, but I had a really long day.
Kapri: Oh ok, just wondering because your hair.
Kapri's Friend: What about my hair?
Kapri: It looks a bit oily. That's all. Like that time during finals week when you skipped showering Tuesday.
Kapri's Friend: It's not...it's not oily, is it? I just washed it this morning.
Karpi: This morning. You're sure? Because if it was last night...I mean, I personally would never shower at night, but if it was last night, we might be able to let it pass this time.
Kapri's Friend: Dude, I showered this morning like I do every morning. Just like we agreed on. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten the contract.
Kapri: I'm not worried, I'm just looking out for ya. You're a good kid. Take care of that hair, though, all right?

[Cat Whisperer]

I liked the point where a typo turned Kapri's name into Karpi.