Old 02-17-2001, 08:53 AM
irish_bill irish_bill is offline
Join Date: May 2000
Posts: 133
Hi everyone,

I was just wondering what happened to Andy Sturmer, Drummer/Vocalist of one of the finest bands ever, Jellyfish.

Does anyone got a clue? His website wasn't much help.

Old 02-18-2001, 11:55 AM
August West August West is offline
Join Date: May 2000
Location: The Cheese Belt
Posts: 4,766
Andy Sturmer has been in hiding for the last 11 years.

At least, that's what the government wants you to believe. The real truth is that Andy was kidnapped by the CIA and forced to become an underwater welder for their new undersea jellyfish mind-control project. (ironic, no?)This project continued for 6 years at an annual budget of $13 billion, but was eventually scrapped when the CIA learned that jellyfish do not have minds.

The expansive ocean floor laboratory was eventually converted into a table-tennis training center. See, the CIA hates the fact that Communist China is generally seen as the premier world power in Ping-Pong, so they have been conducting genetic experiments with stolen human zygotes since 1956 in an attempt to create the ultimate ping-pong player. Currently, the third generation of these mutants is being trained in the ping-pong arts at the undersea facility.

And Andy Sturmer? I hear he's the cook.

or you could believe this


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