Misleading Movie Plot Summaries!

Like most great ideas, this occurred to me in the shower. I was thinking about the movie Depsicable Me, and how terribly mundane the protagonist’s troubles are, despite the fact that he’s a supervillain by profession…do I need spoilers for this?

Gru’s troubles come mostly from Family Services and attempting to persuade investors his business plan is sound.

Don’t misunderstand – I like the movie – it just struck me that if you listed that as the plot summary in a channel guide, it would be technically accurate while completely missing the feel of the movie.

In a similar vein, years ago, I saw a (printed) plot summary for the movie The New Kids, then cycling endlessly on HBO. I remember the summary, because it was so at odds with what I subsequently watched onscreen (okay, I was bored):

What actually happens in the movie:

The local teens rape the sister and either kill or try to kill their dog, and the brother and sister ultimately have to kill the teens in imaginative ways (turning a hose onto the electrified floor of the bumper-car ride at the amusement park to kill one of them, for example). Some trouble with the locals, indeed.

So I thought this would be a fun topic for the SDMB.

Summarize the plot of a movie in a way that’s technically correct but misleading; completely missing the point, failing to convey the story or the emotional feel at all. Brevity is a virtue.

Technical accuracy is important to the humor involved. Summarizing Tora! Tora! Tora! as “Japanese students vacationing in Hawaii accidentally damage property” is misleading, because they’re not students on vacation and it’s not an accident. “Japanese servicemen visit Hawaii with disastrous results” is technically accurate, if not especially funny.

Some more examples:

Gettysburg: Some Southern boys go on a field trip to historic Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

Sherlock Holmes: A cocaine addict gets help from his doctor.

The Lord of the Rings: A man and his employee endure various difficulties returning a piece of jewelry.

Superheroes are good for this.

Batman: A man deals with the deaths of his parents.
Superman: A Kansas farmboy moves to the big city and helps people.
Spider-Man: A nerdy teenager learns to stand up for what he believes in.

HIGH NOON Newlyweds have to deal with unxpected vistors to town on their wedding day.

There was a TV guide summary of Wizard of Oz that ran something like:

“Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.”

Captain America: troubled young man takes steroids, attacks foreigners.

“A young boy works through his issues with the help of a Therapist.” The Sixth Sense

Star Wars Trilogy: A young farmboy meets his long-lost father, gets a new job. Also finds self unusually proficient with swords.

The Matrix: A computer programmer leaves the tedium of his profession to become a religious figure

Journey to the Center of the Earth: A man and his kids fall down a hole

Casablanca - a club owner runs into an old girlfriend

Titanic - a woman finds adventure on a cruise

West Side Story - musical teens sing and dance their way through New York City

Jesus Christ Superstar - muiscal young men sing and dance their way through Israel

Fiddler on the Roof - an entire village of musical people sing and dance their way through Russia

Forbidden Planet - Star Trek, with the guy from The Naked Gun playing Kirk

The Diary of Anne Frank - A young girl hides in an attic, but is found.

Pulp Fiction – Hijinks abound as an interracial couple attempts to deliver a suitcase.

Netflix is good for these; sometimes I think whoever writes their synopses has taken a glance at the DVD cover art and put together a summary of what he thought he saw in the trailer. A good example is the recent Drive Angry starring the much-maligned Nic Cage. They’ve since changed it, but the original synopsis was something like this:

Which, while not wildly inaccurate, fails completely to convey the supernatural story elements. It’s been changed to this:

Which is more accurate.

JAWS: Three men go fishing over July Fourth weekend

It’s a Wonderful Life: A suicidal man hallucinates on Christmas Eve

Arsenic and Old Lace: A young couple visit his family before going on their honeymoon

Labyrinth: Sarah hates babysitting

The Graduate: A incestual love triangle ends with a woman leaving her fiance at the altar.

Toy Story: Two men from different backgrounds compete for the love of a younger man.

This one is kind of cheating, because I swear the newspaper TV guide actually ran this one. Reproduced, as exactly as possible:

4 months 3 weeks & 2 days: University students conspire to commit a crime.
This Is Spinal Tap: Several members of a band die mysteriously.
E.T. the Extraterrestrial: Government scientists attempt to stem invasion by hyper-intelligent alien race.
She’s the Man: Football player joins a new team.

Not thematically incorrect, but leaving a lot out:

The Professional (Leon): Plant-loving eccentric adopts orphan.
The Postman: Beggar using a false identity reunites families.
The Italian (Итальянец): Boy escapes orphanage when adopted by foreign family.

Casino Royale: Emotionally unavailable man new on the job unexpectedly falls in love with a coworker. After her sudden death he vows revenge.

Ghostbusters: Four college losers start a marshmallow cooking contest in the middle of NYC, with zany results.

Ironman: After being stranded in the desert, a spoiled coked-up dilettante discovers his humanity.

The Princess Bride: A young woman is reunited with her long-lost love just a few days before her wedding to a prince. And there is kissing.

Children of Men: A disillusioned former political activist helps his ex-girlfriend rescue a young girl.

Brazil: A bureaucrat has second thoughts about whether to take a promotion, and fantasizes about a client’s neighbor.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: King Arthur and his knights search for the Holy Grail.

Donnie Darko: A young man struggles to fit in at school. With Maggie Gyllenhaal.