Seems strange that humans are the only animals the routinely need to wipe. Such a weird artificial ritual to complete such a natural act. In all fairness I have seen dogs and bears drag their butts through grass on occassion. Could this be because out diet is so unnatural? Or is it because we are much more relaxed that our ansestors and food passes through us quicker leaving more moisture? Or is is because we have selectively bred for nice plump round butts that require wiping?
It seems to me like it is because you haven’t been around enough animals. Let me just say that a cow’s tail is often not very clean, even though they can be raised before shitting.
You’ve never seen animals licking their ass?
I think our adaptation to standing upright has given us larger muscle/tissue masses back there which is more real estate to get messed up. Plus our modern diet and tendency to sit on a toilet rather than squat (which would spread the cheeks a bit more).
So partially biological and partially cultural.
Pretty much the plump, round, butt. From my non-comprehensive look at animal anuses, they are generally a hole on a more or less flat surface, leaving little possibility for feces contact with skin or hair (assuming they keep their tail out of the way).
From what I’ve heard (don’t ask how this came up), it’s because we walk on two legs now. The transition from a four-limb walk to two gave us really developed glutes, and thus we have to wipe.
So you’re saying Charmin is an evolutionary product?
My dog wipes his ass…on our comforter. :mad:
Part of the probnlem is thsat humans are the only animals with a real Butt.
Most animals that have gone bipedal have done so through the use of a counterbalancing tail – dinosaurs (and this birds) did this. Allosaurs even had a “cage” of cartilage so thick that it regularly fossilized, the purpose of which was to keep the long tail extended and off the ground.
But humans solved the problem of staying upright by vastly enlarging the muscle that keeps us upright. That gluteus is maximus because it is exerting a lot of force to keep us erect. That means a big round butt with its deep gluteal cleft (“ass crack”, a term I loathe). Other animals may have generous haunch muscles (like the horse), but humans are the only ones to have it wuith an upright posture. That can cause hygiene problems.
Although humans naturally squat to poop (or, if “civilized”, use a toilet), there’s still a lot of flesh squeezed together to collect fecal matter when we stand back up. I think the problem is greater than with other animals, where the large buttocks that can close together so easily are not present, but I haven’t exactly studied this. In any evemnt, I know that our dog or our cats rarely “trolley” their butts to clean them – only if something is stuck. But people seem to be in that situation all the time. And fecal matter – even your own – is irritating to skin and can cause sores (I know this because the book End Product: The Last Taboo actually cites research on this.)
So people are the only animals that reaklly do need to wipe. Fortunately, we have hands, and are tool-users, so we can, and the practise is practically universal. I suspect that the use of hand-wiping is actually a later innovation, and that our ancestors didn’t need to, but I’d rather not go into the reasons why i think so. It’d open up another controversy.
Note to self. Not sleeping over at Baracus’ place, no matter how good the party was.
Not to mention domestic sheep. Isn’t there a whole set of terminology regarding the turds that stick to a sheep’s wool?
there is a reason why the dog was domesticated so early on.
Sheep turds are a piece of cake compared to cow manure. Hmmmm. Maybe I should rephrase that.
Sheep manure is much more pelletized than cow manure, which is always semi-liquid.
And this is why you minimize your time standing behind a cow… besides the splatter factor, there’s also the risk of the cow sneezing. :eek:
Could also be because we sit on toilets instead of squatting on our haunches.
I saw a product recently that raises your feet while you sit on the toilet to approximate squatting. This is also supposed aid more complete elimination.
It certainly has an effect, as I suggested in my post. Dan Sabbath, in his book on poop, End Product: The First Taboo* (cited above) talks about the “jellyflesh” of the buttocks being compressed by the toilet seat. But toilet paper has a long history in the Orient, where the traditional toilet involves squatting and no seat, so that cannot be the complete answer.
Humans wipe their ass because they can, they have hands and the thought process to use tools. Ferns, paper, their hand that can be washed after. Montgomery Ward’s catalog.
If you have ever been around a farm for more than a few days you begin to see why most animals have tails. Cows and sheep usually have shit on the ass, and a constantly swishing tail to fend of the ever present flies attracted to their nasty booty.
Don’t get me started on pigs, who will shit in the mud, roll in the mud, and eat any left overs.
I’d have assumed it’s because we wear clothes. If you don’t wipe, what happens to your underwear?
You can do your own damn laundry!
Oh… so that’s what those little fluffy dogs were bred for… butt-wiping! 
rattle your dags, mate 
Yeah, nothing worse than a daggy sheep. Unless it is fly-struck.
Si
Naaaah! That’s what domestic geese are for. Read Rabelais.