Straight Dope Message Board

[DMark]

Just wondering.

[John Mace]

What kind of light bulb?

[Leaffan]

What exactly do you mean by change?

[Hermitian]

Where are you? It depends on your local and state's laws.

[AncientHumanoid]

Do you have a cite for whether or not it actually needs to be changed?

[John Mace]

Is Obama president or Bush?

[Ethilrist]

Shouldn't this be in GQ? There is a factual answer, after all.

[Digital is the new Analog]

This reminds me of one of my favorite Cyanide & Happiness strips.

-D/a

[running coach]

Youk now the rules. You can't post about your light bulbs without pictures.

[chacoguy]

One, but she's quadriplegic.

[Ichbin Dubist]

Does the lightbulb screw left?

[Shagnasty]

Originally Posted by Ethilrist

Shouldn't this be in GQ? There is a factual answer, after all.

Yes, it should be in GQ but you didn't need a comma after 'answer'. Somebody else may have already corrected you on that but I couldn't read any more after that egregious error.

[Alice The Goon]

Why do you need a Doper to change it? Why won't your SO change it for you or help you to change it yourself? He or she is obviously not being supportive of your lighting needs. You should dump them.

[Leaffan]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

Why do you need a Doper to change it? Why won't your SO change it for you or help you to change it yourself? He or she is obviously not being supportive of your lighting needs. You should dump them.

Dump him or her, not them.

Anyway, we need to know if this is a typical incandescent bulb, or halogen, fluorescent, or perhaps LED? There's no possible way to make a determination until we know the facts. And as mentioned upthread, we need to know your local regulations.

[Shagnasty]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

Why do you need a Doper to change it? Why won't your SO change it for you or help you to change it yourself? He or she is obviously not being supportive of your lighting needs. You should dump them.

I agree with you. I can't see why anyone would need a 'partner' or a spouse. It is a horrible institution only rivaled by slavery. If it has come to the point where both of you can't even take care of basic needs like changing a light bulb, I would just call it quits now and move across the country to somewhere you are safe.

If you can't afford a lightbulb, maybe we could start a Secret Santa program and get you a surprise in a few weeks,

[kunilou]

The number is surely determined by market demand. No more, no less. Unless of course artificial forces intervene.

[Lacunae Matata]

Is the light bulb for you, or for your bunny rabbits?

[DSeid]

146 posts.

Cite.

[Ethilrist]

Oh--where are you? According to your location, you could be in any one of several places. It'll take five times as many if we have to cover all the bases. Plus, do they use the same type of bulbs in Berlin? I heard once that they've got a real weird kind of bulb that has individual posts rather than screwing in.

[Altivu]

How Many Dopers DOES It Take To Change a Light Bulb?

Are you TRYING to get on our nerves?

[MPB in Salt Lake]

It would take at least three, and that's just for the celebratory meal after the job is completed.

One to prepare a sumptuous feast of exotic tapas, cooked exactly the way they were prepared on their recent trip to Seville, a trip that was mentioned in at least 18 different SDMB threads, including before, during, and after the trip itself. (including popular favorites like "I am going to Spain next month, can anyone recommend a good corkscrew to bring with me?", "I am now in Spain, how much should I tip the matador?", "I had an amazing meal while on my recent trip to Spain, can anyone tell me what the little black and green spherical fruits with the pits, often soaked in a salty brine solution are called?")

One to complain that they have severe dietary restrictions, and can't eat any meat (except for medium rare prime rib, but only if it's organic, grass-fed beef, raised by Mennonite farmers who actively support Same Sex Marriage) or seafood (except for grilled swordfish, which also happens to be musical genius Kate Bush's favorite meal) or vegetables, unless they have been grown in the Tuscan countryside.

One to grandly proclaim that a meal of HIV-infected human feces would be more appetizing, more nutritious and more authentically Italian than anything available at the Olive Garden.

[ioioio]

What are we trying to change it into? Shards of glass: 1 Doper. Gold: 42 Dopers, but it will take a while.

[Leaffan]

Originally Posted by MPB in Salt Lake

It would take at least three, ....

Thank you good sir. I have not laughed this hard in a long time. In fact there are tears streaming down my cheeks.

[johnpost]

if it's the Centennial bulb it doesn't need to be changed, it's still burning.

[TokyoBayer]

I was changing lights before I went to kindergarten, and no one taught me how to.

[don't ask]

I assume the OP means change it for a compact fluorescent and inadvertently forgot the customary link.

[Tapioca Dextrin]

Thomas Edison was a fraud who never invented anything

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

It's a trick question. Dopers are not concerned with how many of them it will take to change a light bulb, but rather how many light bulbs it will take to change them.

[chappachula]

Sorry, we cannot answer the question----we don't do homework problems.

Also, IANALBC
(I am not a light bulb changer)

[Mona Lisa Simpson]

IANAE, (I am not an electrician) I am not YOUR electrition, check local codes, YMMV....

But seriously...what is wrong with you that you feel the need to change this lightbulb? You had better examine yourself first!

And when come back please bring tungsten fillament*

ducks and runs as all the people supporting the other types of lights lash out at me.

[casdave]

1) Obtain light bulb
2) WTF
3)Hi Opal!
4) Profit

[TokyoBayer]

Originally Posted by Leaffan

Dump him or her, not them.

According to Steven Pinker "them" is acceptable.

Steven doesn't change light bulbs, though.

[Ulf the Unwashed]

Originally Posted by TokyoBayer

According to Steven Pinker "them" is acceptable.

Steven doesn't change light bulbs, though.

They don't?

[GrandWino]

Originally Posted by casdave

1) Obtain light bulb
2) WTF
3)Hi Opal!
4) Profit

Ugh

[Find Friends]

DMark, I see from the way you phrased the question that you are very "old school" on the subject.

Have you even considered whether it really wants to change?

[Waxwinged]

Originally Posted by Trans Fat Og

Have you even considered whether it really wants to change?

One-upping that, the Dopers don't want to change it in the first place. And you can't make us.

[pancakes3]

need answer fast?

[drpepper]

You're falling into the common fallacy of equating the question to a simple matter of "lightbulb in - lightbulb out". You make it sound as if willpower alone will produce the lighting result you want.

In reality it is much more complicated and difficult to quantify exactly how one minor change in fixture-fulfillment will affect the long-term lighting conditions of a room. It depends on many factors, many of which are out of control of the individual. For example, genetics, glandular conditions, and cultural factors hard-wired in since childhood all serve to make it extraordinarily difficult for a given person to simply "lose the old lightbulb" and make it stick long-term.

Obviously you have deep-seated hatred toward lightbulbs.

[RaftPeople]

That's a very misogynistic op.

[Fallsguy]

It would depend on how good the dope was.

[Dendarii Dame]

Is there an adorable kitten in the house?

[Shagnasty]

Originally Posted by Dendarii Dame

Is there an adorable kitten in the house?

Here you go.

[Chefguy]

Originally Posted by Ichbin Dubist

Does the lightbulb screw left?

Only in the southern hemisphere, because of the Coriolis effect.

[-getitrite]

Without a doubt the most important fact not given was location, Is the said lightbulb in the ceiling, in a table lamp, under the sink, over the bathtub, outside, inside, covered or exposed, wait did you forget to turn it on. are you sure you want it changed.

[LouisB]

Will penis ensue?

[Spice Weasel]

Jesus Christ, someone Pit this lightbulb already.

[Bam Boo Gut]

Originally Posted by LouisB

Will penis ensue?

Will there be pie?

[johnpost]

Originally Posted by Ichbin Dubist

Does the lightbulb screw left?

Originally Posted by Chefguy

Only in the southern hemisphere, because of the Coriolis effect.

or the subway.

[Girl From Mars]

They tried this back in 1960 - Just 1, and it took 20 minutes.

[Dallas Jones]

Originally Posted by olivesmarch4th

Jesus Christ, someone Pit this lightbulb already.

I agree. It is obvious that this is some sort of homophobic attempt to change the natural orientaion of the light bulb.