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Old 02-11-2013, 09:08 AM
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Episode IV, A New Pope


So there's gonna be a new Pope.

Give me the title, star, and tagline of your idea for a new Pope movie- any genre you want, any actors you want, living or dead.

Last edited by iiandyiiii; 02-11-2013 at 09:10 AM.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:10 AM
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Mine:

Title- Air Bud: the DOGma of Infallibility

Star- some dog

Tagline- the Vatican just got a lot more furry!

Last edited by iiandyiiii; 02-11-2013 at 09:11 AM.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:11 AM
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So there's gonna be a new Pope.

Give me the title, tagline, and star of your idea for a new Pope movie- any genre you want, any actors you want, living or dead.
Lethal Pontiff: Mel Gibson
"No More Mr. Nice Pope!"


The Sedevacantist Monologues
Clint Eastwood
"This chair's about to be full again"
  #4  
Old 02-11-2013, 09:26 AM
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Remember that movie where a gun-toting Samuel L. Jackson talked about witnessing a miracle, recited a passage from Ezekiel, and left to walk the Earth like Caine from Kung Fu: meeting people and getting in adventures, until God puts him where He wants him to be? This summer he reunites with Tarantino for POPE FICTION.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:29 AM
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"Popefall"
James Bond defends the Vatican and the old Pope, played by (damn! everyone I can think of is already dead, but ideally, James Mason)who dies anyway. Bond then swears fealty to the new Pope, played by Ralph Fiennes.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by The Other Waldo Pepper View Post
Remember that movie where a gun-toting Samuel L. Jackson talked about witnessing a miracle, recited a passage from Ezekiel, and left to walk the Earth like Caine from Kung Fu: meeting people and getting in adventures, until God puts him where He wants him to be? This summer he reunites with Tarantino for POPE FICTION.
OMG, I love you. Or would, if I weren't laughing so hard.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:39 AM
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The Griswolds accidently turn on the wrong smoke in the papal chimney and the Church ends up electing Pope Clark in National Lampoons Vatican. Luckily, Pope Clark is not the first Pontiff to have a hot wife.

Alternately, there's the tense papal election drama Twelve Angry Cardinals.
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Last edited by Hypno-Toad; 02-11-2013 at 09:41 AM.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:41 AM
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A Good Day to Die Hard.
starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman reprising his role from Doubt.

I'm done here, folks.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:46 AM
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Rather than elect a new Pontiff, the vatican cybernetically enhances Ratzinger to bring us Robopope.

"I'd bless THAT for a dollar!"
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:55 AM
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It is revealed that the College is not immune from new addictions when it elects Ceiling Cat in the screwball comedy "I R Teh Poap: Moar Cheezburger plz."
  #11  
Old 02-11-2013, 09:59 AM
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The Pope Must Die!, obviously.
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Old 02-11-2013, 10:03 AM
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Cardinal Club
"Robes off. No pointy hats."

Monty Python and the Holy Pope
"Copts: We're already got one."
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Old 02-11-2013, 10:19 AM
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Papal Chase
Star: John Houseman as Pope Kingsfield I
Tagline: "You come in here with souls full of mush and you leave thinking like a church."

Not exactly a movie, but:

2013 Papal Election
Sponsored by PopeYes, the Pontiff of Poultry!
  #14  
Old 02-11-2013, 10:19 AM
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Cardinal Club
"Robes off. No pointy hats."

Monty Python and the Holy Pope
"Copts: We're already got one."
African or European?
  #15  
Old 02-11-2013, 10:22 AM
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Pope Ted
A sentient stuffed bear becomes the first non-human pope.
"Am I Catholic? I'll tell you after I shit in the woods!"
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Old 02-11-2013, 10:24 AM
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Pope Ted
A sentient stuffed bear becomes the first non-human pope.
"Am I Catholic? I'll tell you after I shit in the woods!"
Wow, when I saw "Pope Ted" the first thing I thought of was Father Ted Crilly. Along with Cardinals Dougal McGuire and Jack Hackett ("Feck! Arse! Girls! That would be an ecumenical matter!")

I'd pay to see that.
  #17  
Old 02-11-2013, 10:27 AM
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Pope Benedict must step down after too many years of drinking have taken their toll in The Days of Wine and Rosaries.

James Stewart and his fellow dinner guests keep commenting on Benedicts absence in Alfred Hitchcocks' Pope.
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Old 02-11-2013, 11:32 AM
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In the future, a Vatican researcher discovers the key to time travel among their ancient documents. The Church secretly uses the resulting technology to hide "problem" priests by sending them into the past, to a time when it is easier to conceal their crimes, and uses "prophetic" knowledge to maneuver an agent into the Papacy to coordinate the cover-up. However, Richard Dawkins' head-in-a-jar uncovers this scheme and seizes a brief opportunity to introduce a plot-convenient poison into the wine of the Church's chief agent in the past, who is forced to resign his position before the poison destroys his ability to lie.

With the future-Church crumbling around him, the head of the project sends himself into the past and manages to position himself to take over. In doing so, however, he unwittingly reveals the scheme to a young priest--his own younger self. Premature exposure to the corrupt misuse of this miraculous technology disillusions the young man, an effect that propagates forward to introduce bitter regret into the new time-traveling Pope. In a tense final confrontation, the young priest drives his older self to excommunicate him, ensuring that he will never have access to the Vatican archives, and thus, will never discover time travel.

Don't miss the theological thriller of the decade: Poper

SPOILER:
No, we're not going to tell you whether or not this paradox ironically unravels all of Creation. Think for yourself, would you? Jeez.
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Old 02-11-2013, 11:35 AM
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The Holy Ghost has gone crazy and is terrorizing New York City!

Fortunately, Popebusters is on the scene and ready to kick ass!
  #20  
Old 02-11-2013, 11:45 AM
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The Pope decides that thorny issues of church doctrine must decided in a break dancing competition. Thus, Vatican II: Electric Boogaloo.

A young priest must travel through the bowels of the Vatican to eliminate a Pope who is out of control: A-pope-alypse Now.

The Curia Case of Benjamin Button: Hey, he was old when we elected him...
  #21  
Old 02-11-2013, 11:47 AM
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Vatican II: Ecclesiastic Bugaloo
  #22  
Old 02-11-2013, 11:49 AM
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Scandal rocks the Church when it turns out the new Pope rigged the election.

The Encyclical Thief!
  #23  
Old 02-11-2013, 11:49 AM
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Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
VATiCAAAAAN!
  #24  
Old 02-11-2013, 11:52 AM
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I, Popebot


Star: Robby


Tagline: He really IS infallible!





Note: There has been no end of stories and novels about robot saints and popes.
  #25  
Old 02-11-2013, 12:45 PM
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Wow, when I saw "Pope Ted" the first thing I thought of was Father Ted Crilly. Along with Cardinals Dougal McGuire and Jack Hackett ("Feck! Arse! Girls! That would be an ecumenical matter!")

I'd pay to see that.
Can we get the dudes from Australia who do penis origami to be cardinals too?
  #26  
Old 02-11-2013, 01:47 PM
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Father Ted: Dougal Becomes Pope

In a made-for-TV reunion movie, Father Dougal McGuire accidentally becomes pope during the new selection ceremony. Father Ted gets swept up in the affair and tries to train Dougal on how to be pope.
  #27  
Old 02-11-2013, 02:04 PM
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The Young and The Sinless,
Catholic Hospital,
Bold and Beatified


That's right. Pope Operas
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:12 PM
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The Pontiff goes to a small town to sort out his life and finds true love in the heartwarming chick flick Pope Floats.

Not to be confused with a similarly titled movie where an enraged mob throws him into the Tiber over his covering up of the pedophilia scandal.
  #29  
Old 02-11-2013, 02:20 PM
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"I have had it with these motherfuckin' Popes on this motherfuckin' plane!"
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:21 PM
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Pope Club

The first rule of Pope Club is...
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:39 PM
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The College of Cardinals faces down a vicious lynch mob in Pope on a Rope.
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:42 PM
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Cecil Adams is:
The Straight Pope!

(sorry, somebody had to do it )
  #33  
Old 02-11-2013, 04:09 PM
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Mel Gibson reprises his role as a Pope for a dystopian future in The Pope Warrior: "We need another hero!"
  #34  
Old 02-11-2013, 04:23 PM
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Monty Python and the Holy Pope
"Copts: We're already got one."
Alexandria actually has two:

Theodore II leader of the Eastern Orthodox Church of Alexandria

Theodoros II leader of the Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria

Both of their titles include "Pope of Alexandria and Patriarch of all Africa". The two churches split in AD 451, even before the Roman Catholic/Eastern Orthodox split.
  #35  
Old 02-11-2013, 04:27 PM
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Mel Gibson reprises his role as a Pope for a dystopian future in The Pope Warrior: "We need another hero!"
I would love to see the Post Apocalyptic version of the Popemovile.
  #36  
Old 02-11-2013, 05:43 PM
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Disney's The Black Holiness.

The first African Pope is elected, leading to fears that he's really a secret Muslim.
  #37  
Old 02-11-2013, 05:59 PM
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Kevin Costner stars as Elliot Ness, a federal agent who assembles a team of Popes from across history to battle Al Capone's booze-running gangsters in:

The Infallibles.
  #38  
Old 02-11-2013, 06:29 PM
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P.O.P.E.S. is filmed on location in the Vatican. All suspects are presumed to be sinners until determined to be in a state of grace under Canon Law.

"Young boys, young boys... Watcha gonna do? watcha gonna do when comes on you...?"
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:50 PM
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In all seriousness, I was once in a play called The Day they Kidnapped the Pope. I was the kidnapper.
  #40  
Old 02-11-2013, 09:50 PM
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I would love to see the Post Apocalyptic version of the Popemovile.
Oh, Come On! It's not hard to find! Google Image Search! Hello!
  #41  
Old 02-12-2013, 05:01 AM
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The Great White Pope
Starring James Earl Jones
He could beat any white man. He just couldn't beat all of them.
  #42  
Old 02-12-2013, 08:19 AM
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The Papal Trap -- After a schism in the Church, the two Popes accidentally meet at a retreat and switch places. Wacky hijinks ensue.
  #43  
Old 02-12-2013, 08:44 AM
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Jim Varney's lovably dumb Ernest gets on the wrong plane and ends up in Rome. Blundering into a guided tour of the Vatican, he puts on a stray miter and walks to a window just as the Conclave elects a new Pontiff. It's...Never Get Pope on Your Shoes!
  #44  
Old 02-12-2013, 08:53 AM
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FrankenPope

A new Pope is constructed from the body parts of previous Popes. The monster goes on a rampage and throws Monica Bellucci into the Mediterranean Sea. It ends up trapped in the Sistine Chapel, which is set afire by a mob of angry villagers.
  #45  
Old 02-12-2013, 11:14 AM
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Cecil Adams is:
The Straight Pope!

(sorry, somebody had to do it )
And He won't even need to learn to be infallible!
  #46  
Old 02-12-2013, 11:18 AM
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In Tarantino's Pope Fiction, a reactionary new Pope decides to revive the Inquisition. His motto for heretics: . . . well, you can fill it in.
  #47  
Old 02-12-2013, 05:45 PM
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Karen Dotrice attempts to save her acting career by resurrecting her role of Elizabeth Winthrop in a movie about a group of southern-European gnomes who need someone with the skills and experience to drive... The Pope-Mobile.
  #48  
Old 02-12-2013, 06:09 PM
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The story of a young man's increasing obsession with the Holy See: Diary of a Pope Fiend
  #49  
Old 02-12-2013, 06:13 PM
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A new Pope falls in love and leaves his office for love; The Pope Elopes.
  #50  
Old 02-15-2013, 09:20 AM
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Benedict moves to New York to open a restaurant and becomes the Pope of Greenwich Village.
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