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Old 02-19-2018, 05:10 PM
teela brown teela brown is offline
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Nude sleepers: what's your emergency plan?

I sleep naked, and have done so for the past thirty years or more. So far I've been lucky: there has never been a nocturnal earthquake so severe that I've run outside in the middle of the night. But I have a robe handy, hung up in a place where I can easily grab it in case earthquake, fire, or other catastrophe strikes in the wee hours. I just replaced my old robe with a really warm, voluminous one, too. The old one was short and skimpy and I'd hate to stand outside in the winter at night while wearing it.

So, other nude sleepers - how do you plan to handle a situation like this?

My husband, though he sleeps naked too, has no plan. He threw away his robe years ago, because he "hates robes and never wears it." He's not going to get my robe when the big one hits!
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:13 PM
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Riemann Riemann is offline
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So you're the one planning for unfortunate contingencies, while your husband rides his lucky streak?
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:15 PM
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I also have a bathrobe, one that hangs just inside my bedroom door.
Quote:
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So you're the one planning for unfortunate contingencies, while your husband rides his lucky streak?
Excellent!
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:24 PM
Procrustus Procrustus is offline
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My pants are usually somewhere nearby. Of course, there's no one outside my house to see me if I have to run out naked. At least until the fire department arrives, and I'm sure they've seen worse.

But basically, I'm not going to worry about it. I only had to run outside once in the past 55 years, from a hotel in DC because of a bomb scare. I took a minute or two to get dressed, despite my kids telling me we had to get out NOW. Five hours on the sidewalk, and I was a lot more comfortable then they were.
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:33 PM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is offline
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No plan. Just riding on the ragged edge of disaster, I am.
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:35 PM
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I sleep in a loft and I leave my clothes right next to the side of my bed, between me and the ladder. My shoes are in a rack right next to the front door. It only takes me a few seconds to put on whatever I was wearing when I went to bed, worst case scenario is dead of winter and I'll have to throw on a sweater, flannel jammie pants and socks. In summer it's probably just a throw over dress or a t-shirt and shorts.
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:37 PM
Wesley Clark Wesley Clark is offline
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Fuck it, let the neighbors watch.

Besides, if there was a fire I'd like to think I could spend the 0.5 seconds to pick up my clothes and carry them outside to get dressed.
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:42 PM
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I think I would be grabbing animals instead of a robe in a fire emergency. I always have extra clothes in my vehicle. You never know when you're travelling around and might need a clean shirt or pants.
So If I get out and too my car I could put pets in carriers which are always in the car and grab my extra duds. The fire dept. ain't coming to my house anyway, I live far out of the zones. We have a small volunteer dept., at the moment they don't have a water truck, though. I have a pond but it's not close enough for the pumper truck. The house would just have to burn down. Nakedness wouldn't be an issue.
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:51 PM
boytyperanma boytyperanma is online now
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I'd probably just go outside with my blanket. I usually have a towel hanging up I use when I go to and from the shower, so I don't wander the house nude. I always have a set of clothes in my truck. If I end up naked outside I'm not that worried. If all my clothes burn I'll have reason to buy some new clothes, so it's probably a win.
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:51 PM
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The backyard is fenced and out of view of the neighbors. No problem!

But my pants are within reach of the bed, as are a pair of sweats (winter) or a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt (all other seasons). The wife wears pjs, so she's good. The biggest problem will be staunching all the bleeding from the panicked cats who launched off my naked flesh when the quake hit.
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Old 02-19-2018, 05:55 PM
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I don't sleep naked anymore, but I'd want some pants if I had to go out. There is always a pair across the end of the bed. I also have this giant mega-hoodie that goes down to my shins, which would be perfect for standing around in on a night like that. It's always within reach.

I also have shoes and a coat in my car, but my keys are in the kitchen and unlikely to make it out with me. I should probably do something about that.
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Old 02-19-2018, 06:04 PM
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If anyone want to look at a naked fat old and ugly man like me I don't mind.
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Old 02-19-2018, 06:10 PM
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Tim R. Mortiss Tim R. Mortiss is offline
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I never really thought about it. But now that I am thinking about it, I generally drop my clothes at the foot of the bed where they could be easily grabbed, and I do have a big fluffy terrycloth robe hanging on my bedroom door. If I had the presence of mind, I could easily grab any of those.

And if not, well, a nice roaring house fire is bound to keep you toasty warm while standing in the driveway waiting for the firetruck.
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Old 02-19-2018, 06:13 PM
Loach Loach is offline
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What ever I was wearing just prior to entering the bed is right there next to the bed. I guess you can call that a plan.
  #15  
Old 02-19-2018, 06:42 PM
BobBitchin' BobBitchin' is offline
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Originally Posted by Ethilrist View Post
No plan. Just riding on the ragged edge of disaster, I am.
Same here. Just flying by the seat of my...well, pants I ain't wearing to bed.

Besides most of my neighbors are over 70. I might have the best body on the block.
  #16  
Old 02-19-2018, 06:43 PM
SigMan SigMan is offline
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Maybe we should get ourselves jumpsuits.
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Old 02-19-2018, 06:59 PM
Not a Platypus Not a Platypus is offline
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No plan, per se, but assuming I'm sleeping in my bedroom... well, that's where my clothes are, and a robe, and blankets. Boots are by the door and can be scooped up on the way out.
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Old 02-19-2018, 07:09 PM
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I have no plan in case of emergency. I like to think that should an emergency occur I'm more concerned about getting my family and myself to safety. My ego after the fact can survive if they survive.

Funny story, was asleep one night with my then fiancé (now wife). In the middle of the night our alarm system went off while I was in a deep sleep. I immediately bolted out of bed and ran full speed out of the room and down the stairs. About half-way down I realized that should I confront a burglar my only weapon of defense was being buck naked and having LittleJoe flapping in the wind between my legs. If that doesn't scare someone to near Death, I don't know what a shotgun would accomplish.
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  #19  
Old 02-19-2018, 07:14 PM
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The Stainless Steel Rat The Stainless Steel Rat is online now
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I sleep nude but my laundry basket is right next to the bed, so I can grab something on the way to the door. Also have a pair of PJ bottoms on the bed (for wearing about the house, not while sleeping), so probably little delay in getting 'decent'.
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  #20  
Old 02-19-2018, 07:15 PM
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I take off my boxer-briefs and socks as I'm getting into bed. My "plan" consists of leaving those boxers and socks on my empty wheelchair that is right next to me while I'm in bed. Better than nothing, I guess.
  #21  
Old 02-19-2018, 07:17 PM
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You know, I don't have a plan. Maybe I should get some clothes out, and I do have a good robe. But I'd rather save my pets, and if that meant showing off this lumpy body of mine I'd do it.
  #22  
Old 02-19-2018, 07:34 PM
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ZipperJJ ZipperJJ is offline
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I’d never thought of it until a few weeks ago when I wasn’t feeling very well, and realized that now I’m a city council member, and all the police and fire know me, and I got very self conscious about the idea of them having to come save me while I’m naked in bed (most likely from a diabetes situation).

I decided that they’re all professionals and we’ll all be fine. But still...eew.

If there’s a fire or whatever, I’ve got a robe on the back of my bedroom door.
  #23  
Old 02-19-2018, 08:13 PM
Melbourne Melbourne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
Fuck it, let the neighbors watch.

Besides, if there was a fire I'd like to think I could spend the 0.5 seconds to pick up my clothes and carry them outside to get dressed.
-- just jump into your pants at the end of the bed, hook your suspenders over you shoulders, and slide down the pole. Grab your coat and hat as you go past (and if you miss the truck, you don't get paid).
  #24  
Old 02-19-2018, 09:29 PM
control-z control-z is offline
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My plan for intruders is helicopter dick.
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Old 02-19-2018, 09:33 PM
Oredigger77 Oredigger77 is online now
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I've got my pants over a chair between me and the door. There might be a sweatshirt too. Unfortunaly, its suppoed to be 9 degrees tonight and I'd have to run ulstairs to get shoes or my parka though i do have a fleece jacket grabbable on the way out. More than likely I'll freeze to death if I excape the fire.
  #26  
Old 02-19-2018, 09:58 PM
AHunter3 AHunter3 is offline
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I've got a robe on a nearby hook. I'm also relatively OK with being naked in public if the situation makes it unavoidable. I was once horribly bodyshy and would have had a hard time choosing between burning to death or being seen naked, but that was a long time ago. I've been in clothing-optional environments and although I'm no naturist I don't lose a lot of sleep worrying about being startled out of my bed with no clothes on.
  #27  
Old 02-19-2018, 10:11 PM
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mistymage mistymage is online now
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Unless it's zombies breaking in through our bedroom window (used to be the living room but we added a wall so it's a big picture window at outside porch step into the bedroom height). I will have time to grab my eyeglasses, throw on some clothes and evacuate all pets in our bedroom. If I had to run out naked I have 2 sisters living in a 5 block radius who would dress me.

My concern is that the parrot is in the kitchen in his cage. The opposite side of the house from the bedrooms. We have an outside door just outside our bedroom doors. He's like our firstborn... or my step-son since Mistermage bought the 'Too with his first wife but as we just hit 25 years married and he was only married to her for 3 years, yeah, my kid.

And any cats who decided to sleep in the living room vs in a boy's room.

The dogs follow me.

Tornado alerts just about kill me since cats don't herd, dogs follow me back up the stairs and you have to be calm to get the Cockatoo to "step-up" onto your arm to carry him down to the basement.

Then the guys all want to step outside to check the skyline even though we are in a valley surrounded by trees and can see nothing. Radar, fools!
  #28  
Old 02-19-2018, 10:12 PM
teela brown teela brown is offline
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Quote:
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So you're the one planning for unfortunate contingencies, while your husband rides his lucky streak?
Luck favors the well-prepared.

My slippers are positioned right under my robe. I plan to don my robe while simultaneously jumping into my slippers. The pavement is cold at night.

I expected someone to argue that, during an earthquake, you shouldn't run outside but wedge yourself inside a doorframe. Screw that - if the big one hits, I'm getting out of this house of sticks.
  #29  
Old 02-19-2018, 11:15 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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I always lay out the clothes I want for the next day before I turn in and I keep a robe near the foot of the bed.
  #30  
Old 02-19-2018, 11:58 PM
Ulf the Unwashed Ulf the Unwashed is online now
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I guess I’d be nude in the back yard.

There are worse things.
  #31  
Old 02-20-2018, 12:52 AM
BobBitchin' BobBitchin' is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeanJoe View Post
I have no plan in case of emergency. I like to think that should an emergency occur I'm more concerned about getting my family and myself to safety. My ego after the fact can survive if they survive.

Funny story, was asleep one night with my then fiancé (now wife). In the middle of the night our alarm system went off while I was in a deep sleep. I immediately bolted out of bed and ran full speed out of the room and down the stairs. About half-way down I realized that should I confront a burglar my only weapon of defense was being buck naked and having LittleJoe flapping in the wind between my legs. If that doesn't scare someone to near Death, I don't know what a shotgun would accomplish.
Hey, it worked for the Vikings.
What's scarier, some dink that might have the balls to use a shotgun, or...
Big naked guy running at you, dick swinging in the breeze, screaming "BATTLE!!!!"
  #32  
Old 02-20-2018, 01:54 AM
kopek kopek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobBitchin' View Post
Hey, it worked for the Vikings.
Just not so well against the Eagles. Oh ------ you meant those Vikings.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BobBitchin' View Post
.
What's scarier, some dink that might have the balls to use a shotgun, or...
Big naked guy running at you, dick swinging in the breeze, screaming "BATTLE!!!!"
Or as I like to think of it ------- being armed with a friendly weapon.
  #33  
Old 02-20-2018, 03:25 AM
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Alessan Alessan is online now
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I'd sleep naked when I was in the army - most of us did, at least for the hot half of the year. You keep your uniform and boots by your cot, and learn how to dress real quick. I'd wear fatigues that were two sizes too big for me, which means I wouldn't have to deal with any buttons when pulling them on or taking them off.
  #34  
Old 02-20-2018, 05:08 AM
BobBitchin' BobBitchin' is offline
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Just not so well against the Eagles. Oh ------ you meant those Vikings.




Or as I like to think of it ------- being armed with a friendly weapon.
I laughed out loud

So? Your battle cry is what? "ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME"
  #35  
Old 02-20-2018, 07:04 AM
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I used to sleep naked, until we had a daughter, so now I wear pajama pants to bed (I rarely wear a shirt -- it has to be REALLY cold for that), and the problem doesn't come up.


Before we had MilliCal, I used to sleep naked. One night the carbon monoxide alarm went off, producing an ear-splitting din. My wife was frantically trying to turn it off, without success, and eventually had to wake me up.



(Yes -- I slept through the incredible racket of a carbon monoxide detector. If we ever do have a carbon monoxide leak, I'm a goner.)



So I get up through the vast noise and confusion, my wife yelling so I can hear her over the alarm, the cats running around in terror, and go over, naked, to solve the problem. I ignore the smoke detector, which my wife had been fiddling with on the mistaken assumption that it was the source of the noise, and go, naked, to the carbon monoxide detector and rip out the battery. Quiet ensues. TYhis is followed by an argument about whether we should open the windows. I argue for it, since the carbon monoxide alarm went off. My wife, Pepper Mill, says that the alarm probably went off because the battery was dying. And, besides, I'm naked.
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  #36  
Old 02-20-2018, 07:23 AM
Cartooniverse Cartooniverse is offline
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I guess I’d be nude in the back yard.

There are worse things.
Like being nude and unwashed in the back yard?



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  #37  
Old 02-20-2018, 08:25 AM
enipla enipla is online now
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No neighbors to be concerned about, not that I would be in an emergency. So freezing to death is the real concern. My and my Wifes car are 30 feet from the front door. Never lock them so I can at least get 'shelter'. A blanket and extra coat is always in my car. My Wife has two sleeping bags in hers. Still I hope I remember my car keys.
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  #38  
Old 02-20-2018, 08:49 AM
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If it was a truly life or death situation I might well up standing outside naked holding a bird cage with two cockatiels and a green cheek conure. Gut feeling that recovering from being seen naked is easier than recovering from, say, 3rd degree burns.

But, barring something quite that catastrophic... in winter I tend to use my robe as a top blanket (keeps it warm for when I put it on in the morning) and next to or on the bed during the summer. I often have yesterday's pants on the floor next to the bed. If all else fails, a sheet or blanket from the bed can cover me up.
  #39  
Old 02-20-2018, 08:56 AM
Machine Elf Machine Elf is offline
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Being clothed is low on the list of priorities during midnight emergencies - low enough to not bother planning for (the clothing, not the emergencies). If there's time, I'll go to the closet and grab a robe or some sweatpants. If not, well, I guess I'll be outside naked until I can figure out something else; anyone else observing the scene is likely to be somewhat understanding if there are obvious extenuating circumstances (e.g. house burning down). I'm not going to start leaving an "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" pile of clothes next to the bed.

The one nagging fear I have in the back of my mind is when the extenuating circumstances are not obvious: I've heard horror stories of people who learned they were prone to sleepwalking after being found naked in a hotel lobby or hallway. If I ever develop a tendency to sleepwalk, I hope I learn about it without seriously embarrassing myself like that.
  #40  
Old 02-20-2018, 10:00 AM
madmonk28 madmonk28 is offline
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When I was working in Afghanistan, one of our guesthouses was attacked (I was in another city at the time) in the middle of the night. They breached the gates with a car bomb and then gunmen charged into the house. A colleague of mine who is a nude sleeper, ended up on the roof naked during a lengthy firefight. He spent most of the next day laying on his belly on a gravel roof while the fighting raged. Ever since then, when I'm in conflict zones I sleep in boxers and t-shirt and keep a pair of shoes under the bed. At home I just sleep naked.
  #41  
Old 02-20-2018, 10:18 AM
iamthewalrus(:3= iamthewalrus(:3= is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teela brown View Post
I expected someone to argue that, during an earthquake, you shouldn't run outside but wedge yourself inside a doorframe. Screw that - if the big one hits, I'm getting out of this house of sticks.
I think they'd be wrong. Outside is much better than a doorframe, as long as you're far enough away from sticks that when they fall over they won't fall on you. Doorframe is your best chance if you can't get outside quickly.

My plan is very few emergencies leave no time to get dressed, and for the ones that don't, I'll be naked. That's why emergency responders bring blankets.
  #42  
Old 02-20-2018, 10:20 AM
kopek kopek is offline
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Originally Posted by BobBitchin' View Post
I laughed out loud

So? Your battle cry is what? "ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME"

You forgot "FIVE DOLLA".


Gotta admit though ----- it probably would scare the living daylights out of the average burglar
  #43  
Old 02-20-2018, 10:46 AM
BrotherCadfael BrotherCadfael is offline
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A few years ago Peter Shumlin, the then-Governor of Vermont, ran outside in the middle of the night to confront some bears in his yard. Apparently, he didn't bother to dress first. Story here.
  #44  
Old 02-20-2018, 10:54 AM
Shodan Shodan is online now
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Things To Worry About In Case of a Fire (in order)
  • Family
  • Dog
  • Wallet
  • Bathrobe
  • Slippers
It's twenty degrees out, so I may reverse the last two.

Frostbite of the naughty bits is a worry for later.

Regards,
Shodan
  #45  
Old 02-20-2018, 11:10 AM
Ulf the Unwashed Ulf the Unwashed is online now
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Like being nude and unwashed in the back yard?



Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
😊

[where’s that nude smiley when you need him?]

Possibly. Or possibly not. If I’ve gone unwashed long enough, it may not be easy to tell that I’m completely naked.
  #46  
Old 02-20-2018, 03:12 PM
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Renee Renee is offline
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We live on a big enough lot that I'm free to walk around our property naked any time of the day or night without being seen. But my emergency plan is that I just don't really care if people see me naked. They'll survive the experience, and so will I.
  #47  
Old 02-20-2018, 03:16 PM
Crazy Canuck Crazy Canuck is offline
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Being naked is my emergency plan. If anyone plans on breaking to my home to cause me harm, I figure the sight of a very big, very hairy, and very naked dude will cause them to reflexively cover their eyes in sheer terror, thus allowing me to get the drop on them.
  #48  
Old 02-20-2018, 04:23 PM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is offline
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Originally Posted by Ulf the Unwashed View Post
😊

[where’s that nude smiley when you need him?]
Most of them ARE nude.



Except that guy. He's too cool to be nude.
  #49  
Old 02-20-2018, 04:41 PM
GottaBeMeh GottaBeMeh is offline
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My plan is I live in Florida, and I'm comfortable with my body.
  #50  
Old 02-20-2018, 11:27 PM
Mr Downtown Mr Downtown is offline
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I've got to walk down 13 flights of stairs, so I'm gonna take 30 seconds to put on pants and shoes. Probably a coat, too.
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