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Old 07-24-2018, 11:55 PM
Infovore Infovore is offline
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Stupid advertising jingles

I was just watching something on TV and saw a commercial for someplace called "Liberty" (I think it was insurance--I don't remember). I do remember their jingle, though, because it was really stupid: "Liberty Liberty Liberty...Liberty!" Um...okay.

It reminded me of another one I thought was very stupid (thankfully I haven't heard it for a while) for Safelite: "Safelite repair, Safelite replace," sung in a painfully off-key tune.

I guess these must be memorable, which is probably why they do them, but I find them irritating.

Anybody got any other examples of stupid jingles that sound like they were created by a class full of untalented ten-year-olds?
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Old 07-25-2018, 12:43 AM
Lamoral Lamoral is offline
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My go to answer for this is Farmer's Insurance.

"We are Farmers...dum da dum dum dum dum dum."

I have to admit, it's memorable as hell though. It's stupid, but I'm not necessarily bashing it. As a jingle, it works well. I know as a musician that sometimes a simple hook is all you need. Some of my favorite songs have hooks consisting of little more than "da na na na na" etc.
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Old 07-25-2018, 01:07 AM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is online now
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Ch ch ch chia
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Old 07-25-2018, 01:26 AM
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Old 07-25-2018, 06:03 AM
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Fa. Bric. Land. FA-BRIC-LAND!
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Old 07-25-2018, 06:09 AM
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Lerner and Rowe. It's the place to go. Call 977-9190.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:24 AM
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Lerner and Rowe. It's the place to go. Call 977-9190.
Written by the composers of My Fair Lady?
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:28 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is online now
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From the Cretaceous Era: "National Shoes, ring the bell!!!"

*I had a friend who claimed that a relative of his invented this slogan/jingle. Not sure it was something to brag about.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:51 AM
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Mr. Plow, oh that's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEZIh7lQ3dc
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:04 AM
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There are several local businesses with awful jingles on radio ads, often incorporating their phone numbers.

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I have to turn the radio off when that one comes on.
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:40 AM
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:42 AM
Goodnight-Loving Goodnight-Loving is offline
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This one makes me turn the radio off.
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:47 AM
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I was just watching something on TV and saw a commercial for someplace called "Liberty" (I think it was insurance--I don't remember). I do remember their jingle, though, because it was really stupid: "Liberty Liberty Liberty...Liberty!" Um...okay.

It reminded me of another one I thought was very stupid (thankfully I haven't heard it for a while) for Safelite: "Safelite repair, Safelite replace," sung in a painfully off-key tune.

I guess these must be memorable, which is probably why they do them, but I find them irritating.

Anybody got any other examples of stupid jingles that sound like they were created by a class full of untalented ten-year-olds?
It's Liberty Mutual's new jingle. It wasn't always that, it just started over the past month.

I HATE it. It annoys me like hell. My boyfriend, on the other hand, loves it, and is always singing it. Last week, we were sitting on the couch when the commercial came on. He turned and smiled at me, getting ready to sing along with it.

I simply told him, "if you sing that damn jingle, no happy time with Laurie for you tonight."

Those kind of threats will shut up any boyfriend or husband.
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Old 07-25-2018, 10:21 AM
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From the Cretaceous Era: "National Shoes, ring the bell!!!"

*I had a friend who claimed that a relative of his invented this slogan/jingle. Not sure it was something to brag about.
I had a friend who said his sister had worked on the Coffee Achiever campaign from decades ago (it was still running when he told me).

<Long stare> "And she lives yet to this day?"

"The vote was four to three."
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Old 07-25-2018, 10:28 AM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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Lerner and Rowe. It's the place to go. Call 977-9190.
Obviously not memorable enough. You got the phone number wrong.

"nine seven seven one nine oh oh"
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Old 07-25-2018, 10:38 AM
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In a different vein, I hate the one made in 1969 for STP. It used the Toreador song from Carmen. 49 years later I still have it stuck in my head. I should write it out, so you all can suffer along with me. The song, was, however, clever, and not stupid.

And despite the endorsement of King Richard, STP is, and shall always be, a ripoff.

Last edited by Just Asking Questions; 07-25-2018 at 10:39 AM. Reason: math is hard!
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Old 07-25-2018, 10:41 AM
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I also have the misfortune of hearing "Safelite repair, Safelite replace" every morning, followed by a commercial for a local ac repair shop, Acree Air. Their insipid jingle is " 1 800 We are open, Acree Air" complete with a doofy looking repair guy mugging for the camera whilst he lips syncs along. For the longest time all I could think was "your store is so lame the only thing you can say to recommend it is that it's open for business!?"

I only just figured out, literally as I was composing this post, that it stands for their phone # (1-800-937-6736)

<Elaine Benes> You, WOOKINPANUB, are the doofus <EB>.


Still hate the sight and the sound of it, though.
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Old 07-25-2018, 10:44 AM
caligulathegod caligulathegod is online now
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How about the Pepto Bismol one.

“Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea” All while miming each symptom, including grabbing their asses at the end. Bleah.
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Old 07-25-2018, 10:57 AM
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How about the Pepto Bismol one.

“Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea” All while miming each symptom, including grabbing their asses at the end. Bleah.
This is one of my favorites. Granted, it's undignified as hell and I really want SNL to do a parody, maybe for an STD clinic:

"Burning, itching, yeasty discharge, fishy smelling, gonorrhea"

If this commercial had been airing when I was a kid my friends and I would have been singing / acting it out constantly.
  #20  
Old 07-25-2018, 10:58 AM
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The "sharing" Coke ads, like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgxXtNLfXU8
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Old 07-25-2018, 11:16 AM
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Obviously not memorable enough. You got the phone number wrong.

"nine seven seven one nine oh oh"
They do this to the music from Jenny and I immediately forget who they are and what phone number they use.

Jenny: https://youtu.be/6WTdTwcmxyo
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Last edited by TriPolar; 07-25-2018 at 11:21 AM.
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Old 07-25-2018, 12:49 PM
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Some oldies here.

"Chock Full o' Nuts is that wonderful coffee
Better coffee a millionaire's money can't buy!"

or the insipid

"International House of Pancakes - fun to do.
International House of Pancakes - just for the fun of it, ooo."

Last edited by teela brown; 07-25-2018 at 12:50 PM.
  #23  
Old 07-25-2018, 01:08 PM
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The "sharing" Coke ads, like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgxXtNLfXU8
Between this stupid song and the ads where low-level celebrities tell me it's okay if I drink a Diet Coke, or not, I'm thinking Coca-Cola needs a new advertising agency, bad.

My contribution is a local radio ad jingle (they're always the worst) that consists of these lyrics, sung incredibly soulfully:

Take I-25 to Exit 235
Then 5 miles west to the Tree Farm!
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Old 07-25-2018, 01:53 PM
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Some oldies here.

"Chock Full o' Nuts is that wonderful coffee
Better coffee a millionaire's money can't buy!"
Even the Bert Parks version? IIRC, the company got him to sing the jingle in a commercial aired during the first Miss America pageant following his replacement.

Here's a local one I just started hearing, for The Barnes Firm:
"Call 1-800-Eight Million"
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Old 07-25-2018, 03:53 PM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is online now
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Old 07-25-2018, 04:05 PM
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Obviously not memorable enough. You got the phone number wrong.

"nine seven seven one nine oh oh"
Did you fact-check? Or does your memory work better than mine?
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Old 07-25-2018, 05:56 PM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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Did you fact-check? Or does your memory work better than mine?
I think they play it every other inning break during Diamondbacks games. Since I never leave the room at the commercials, I see them ALL over and over and over. It's stuck in my head now....
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Old 07-25-2018, 06:14 PM
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I now have the damn "Safelite repair, Safelite replace" mucked up with Life lock.
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Old 07-25-2018, 08:53 PM
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I'm done with "Wayfair, you're just what I need!".
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Old 07-26-2018, 06:03 AM
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In a different vein, I hate the one made in 1969 for STP. It used the Toreador song from Carmen. 49 years later I still have it stuck in my head. I should write it out, so you all can suffer along with me. The song, was, however, clever, and not stupid.

And despite the endorsement of King Richard, STP is, and shall always be, a ripoff.
I remember " S T P, you need your STP....one little can.... keeps you running free." Then ending with "when engines need a friend.... you must agree.... that friend is STP!"
What's in the middle I don't recall.
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Old 07-26-2018, 07:44 AM
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How about "Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, Oh What a Relief It Is"?
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  #32  
Old 07-26-2018, 08:18 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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An oldie but a goodie: Ace is the place with the helpful hardware folks.

How long did it take them to figure out women could be helpful and know hardware.

Yeah, and that share a Coke song borders on pornography.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 07-26-2018 at 08:18 AM.
  #33  
Old 07-26-2018, 09:29 AM
Infovore Infovore is offline
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Yeah, and that share a Coke song borders on pornography.
It always reminds me of this Tom Lehrer classic.
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Old 07-26-2018, 09:34 AM
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I remember " S T P, you need your STP....one little can.... keeps you running free." Then ending with "when engines need a friend.... you must agree.... that friend is STP!"
What's in the middle I don't recall.
He's my recollection (some of my words differ from yours; can't say who is correct any more. That commercial seems to be lost forever lost)

S T P you need some STP
One little can can keep you running free
Smooooother, cooler, quieter, longer too
The Racer's Edge was made for YOU-OO
[I can't remember the next two lines, so I 'll use yours]
When engines need a friend
You must agree

You need some STP

I know well that memory is a tricky thing. What I do know is, I can't listen to Carmen without adding these lyrics. They're more insidious in my brain than the Gilligan's Island version:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
Do not forget: Stay out of debt;
Think twice, and take this good advice from me,
Guard that old solvency.
There’s just one other thing you ought to do,
To thine own self be true.

Last edited by Just Asking Questions; 07-26-2018 at 09:35 AM.
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