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Old 11-20-2018, 06:06 PM
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I Have an Awful Confession....

that I must share with you all. It is truly horrific in some people's opinion but, really, there is nothing more I can do about it.


I like fruitcake. That ridiculously dense, rum soaked, fruity bitted stuff everyone makes fun of? Love it. German Stollen dusted with icing sugar and containing a heady blast of marzipan in the centre? Give me more! Even the Crosse and Blackwell canned stuff I will readily snarf down with a nice cuppa Typhoo.

Except Panettone. That stuff is the Devil's Dessert, along with Durian fruit. I've never met a panettone I've liked yet and still, I should love it as I like the ingredients, but No. It sucks.

What say you, Dopers? Will you at last be free of this heady shame and admit, you too, like christmas cakes?
  #2  
Old 11-20-2018, 06:16 PM
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Oh, bring it on and don't spare the egg nog! Madame P. even orders me fruitcakes for Valentines Day. Stollen (and mincemeat pie and other Christmas goodies) are all right, but fruitcake is the sine qua non.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 11-20-2018 at 06:16 PM.
  #3  
Old 11-20-2018, 06:16 PM
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Oh yes, I love fruitcake. The very dense, rum-soaked kind. The cheap, bought-at-a-convenience-store-by-a-gas-station, dry and crumbly kind. Any kind, except the ones with too many nuts and not enough fruit. I want to know if the fruitcake in a can is available in the US?

I also love mince pie. Walker, the shortcake folks, make some seriously good little tiny mince pies (which have hundreds of calories, but never mind). If you are near a Cost Plus World Market, check it out. Especially the ones with cranberries and oranges.

Anyone else? We can form a club.
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Old 11-20-2018, 06:25 PM
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Originally Posted by kayT View Post
Oh yes, I love fruitcake. The very dense, rum-soaked kind. The cheap, bought-at-a-convenience-store-by-a-gas-station, dry and crumbly kind. Any kind, except the ones with too many nuts and not enough fruit. I want to know if the fruitcake in a can is available in the US?

I also love mince pie. Walker, the shortcake folks, make some seriously good little tiny mince pies (which have hundreds of calories, but never mind). If you are near a Cost Plus World Market, check it out. Especially the ones with cranberries and oranges.

Anyone else? We can form a club.
A co-worker brought some of the Walkers mince pies to work last week. I had a couple and they were really nice.

I never cared much for the big, tinned fruitcakes, but around this time of year I may buy one of the smaller, rectangular-shaped ones if I see them at the store. I've tried Panettone, but it's just too dry a cake for me.
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Old 11-20-2018, 06:35 PM
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I started making mince tarts last Christmas season and really like them. Fruitcake has to be just right, or I'm not happy with it.
  #6  
Old 11-20-2018, 06:37 PM
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Nope. I ain't fessin' up to nothing.
  #7  
Old 11-20-2018, 06:37 PM
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I like fruit cake that is getting a little stale.
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Old 11-20-2018, 07:33 PM
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Wait. I though all fruit cakes were re-gifted each year. You mean one actually gets eaten? That throws-off the whole space/time continuum.
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Old 11-20-2018, 08:28 PM
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Heh. I started to post that I hate fruitcake, but then I realized I haven't tasted any in maybe 40 years. I'm not tempted to try again anytime soon, either.
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Old 11-20-2018, 08:44 PM
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I don't know which company makes them, but I like the long small ones, that are maybe 2" by 2" and about 6" long. Those are good, I buy those in after christmas sales.

I don't know if it is this brand, but the ones shaped like this are good.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....L._SL1500_.jpg
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Old 11-20-2018, 09:21 PM
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I had an aunt who made them, not with rum, but with copious amounts of Jim Beam. It may have been just as much Jim Beam as it was cake, which fruit and nuts for ballast. I never cared for the candied fruit all that much, but the whiskey cake was lovely.
  #12  
Old 11-20-2018, 09:49 PM
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I don't know which company makes them, but I like the long small ones, that are maybe 2" by 2" and about 6" long. Those are good, I buy those in after christmas sales.

I don't know if it is this brand, but the ones shaped like this are good.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....L._SL1500_.jpg
Claxton Fruitcakes?

I love these things. Mrs. SMV buys me one every Christmas, and I’ll stick it in the freezer and cut slices off. I know most people think they’re disgusting, but I could eat them by the pound.
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Old 11-20-2018, 09:49 PM
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Panettone is not exactly a fruitcake, IMNSHO.


that being said, I love Christmas fruitcake, the liquor soaked ones and the cheap bar shaped ones at Dollar General Store alike.

Sweet chewy fruity goodness.
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Old 11-20-2018, 10:01 PM
Wesley Clark Wesley Clark is online now
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Claxton Fruitcakes?

I love these things. Mrs. SMV buys me one every Christmas, and I’ll stick it in the freezer and cut slices off. I know most people think they’re disgusting, but I could eat them by the pound.
They're probably claxton. I buy them at walmart after christmas. I don't know if walmart carries any other brands shaped like that.
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Old 11-20-2018, 10:40 PM
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Originally Posted by kayT View Post
Oh yes, I love fruitcake. The very dense, rum-soaked kind. The cheap, bought-at-a-convenience-store-by-a-gas-station, dry and crumbly kind. Any kind, except the ones with too many nuts and not enough fruit. I want to know if the fruitcake in a can is available in the US?

I also love mince pie. Walker, the shortcake folks, make some seriously good little tiny mince pies (which have hundreds of calories, but never mind). If you are near a Cost Plus World Market, check it out. Especially the ones with cranberries and oranges.

Anyone else? We can form a club.
You know about Collins St. Bakery in Corsicana, right?
https://www.collinstreet.com
  #16  
Old 11-20-2018, 10:52 PM
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I sold them door-to-door in the 5th grade for a fundraiser...that was fun (no, it wasn't). Tastewise, I don't like jellied fruit, so I'm pretty much a non-fruitcake eater.

Last edited by blondebear; 11-20-2018 at 10:52 PM.
  #17  
Old 11-20-2018, 11:44 PM
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I don't like fruitcake, but I have a nostalgic fondness for my mother's mincemeat cookies.
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Old 11-21-2018, 12:06 AM
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Love them, make them.

Make my own fruit mince for my Xmas mince pies, too, that way I can get more peel and different fruits and boozes in there. The whisky-sultana-cranberry-tangerine peel one is especially good.
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Old 11-21-2018, 12:53 AM
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::relieved, after seeing OP title, that the thread wasn't about Gritty::

Not a huge fruticake booster, but for some reason I can divide folks I know into two camps: those who think that Dalton fruit cubes are perfectly ok, and others who think they're vile, gross and must be stopped at all costs.

The desert+booze thing, in general, never flew with this bird either.
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Old 11-21-2018, 02:19 AM
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Well, booze is dehydrating, so not the best thing to drink in the desert.

Boozy desserts, on the other hand, are the best - Crępes Suzette, Bananas Foster, bombe Alaska, baba au rhum, proper Christmas pud, proper trifle, tipsy tart - love them all.


What's a "Dalton fruit cube", though?
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Old 11-21-2018, 04:30 AM
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I am happy to eat fruitcake at Christmas, and will eat any and all mince pies within range, but I absolutely, very definitely, hate marzipan. It is the almond flavoured work of Satan and I will peel its loathsome hide off of any slice of fruitcake I eat.
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Old 11-21-2018, 06:03 AM
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You older Brits (and Yank Whoites) may remember the Fourth Doctor admitting to adoring fruitcake.
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Old 11-21-2018, 06:46 AM
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You know about Collins St. Bakery in Corsicana, right?
https://www.collinstreet.com
Thank you! Now I can gain weight all year long instead of just in December! No, seriously, thanks very much for this link. Yum.
  #24  
Old 11-21-2018, 08:39 AM
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...Except Panettone. That stuff is the Devil's Dessert, along with Durian fruit. I've never met a panettone I've liked yet and still, I should love it as I like the ingredients, but No. It sucks.


Use the Panettone for french toast. Thank me later.

Last edited by mozchron; 11-21-2018 at 08:40 AM.
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Old 11-21-2018, 08:50 AM
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I love fruitcake. Just plain is fine. With some cheese is better (apparently a thing from my mother's Yorkshire home). If the weather is really cold it's great with hot custard. If the weather is really hot it's great with ice cream.

Having not had any for possibly years, this thread will cause me to get some within days.
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Old 11-21-2018, 08:52 AM
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As I read the word "panettone" in the OP, I was literally about to take the first bite of our first one this season, so... guess I'm not fully on board with the panettonephobia.
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Old 11-21-2018, 09:33 AM
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Slice o' fruitcake with a schmear is de-lish!

Also, yes, the only value I've found for Panettone is as french toast.
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Old 11-21-2018, 09:41 AM
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Wait. I though all fruit cakes were re-gifted each year. You mean one actually gets eaten? That throws-off the whole space/time continuum.
I am the C'Thulhu of fruitcake. The mad pipers caper about whilst I devour whole worlds...
  #29  
Old 11-21-2018, 09:44 AM
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Please make a minimal attempt at descriptive thread titles.
  #30  
Old 11-21-2018, 09:44 AM
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Use the Panettone for french toast. Thank me later.
I use it for an Overkill Summer Pudding (which I can get away with being in the Southern Hemisphere.)
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Old 11-21-2018, 09:47 AM
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Use the Panettone for french toast. Thank me later.
OK, I may be willing to give panattone a chance as I..repect?.. VT generally and I'm a compete sucker for french toast, especially if you use premium vanilla ice cream melted with a dash of baileys as your liquid.
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Old 11-21-2018, 09:47 AM
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I like fruit cake that is getting a little stale.
Fruitcake gets stale? I thought it was basically as durable as neutronium.
  #33  
Old 11-21-2018, 09:58 AM
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You are not alone. I love fruitcake. I don't buy it because, as the only person living in my house, I would eat the whole damned thing. Harry & David make an awesome one. It's called Grand Fruitcake Confection.

Last edited by peedin; 11-21-2018 at 10:01 AM.
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Old 11-21-2018, 10:11 AM
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Every year my grandparents sent us the fruitcake baked by the Trappist monks in their Gethsemani, Kentucky monastery, soaked in Kentucky bourbon whiskey. It was always fresh, succulent, and scrumptious. Growing up, I never got the jokes about bad fruitcake. All my folks ever had was the best one in creation.

Last edited by Johanna; 11-21-2018 at 10:12 AM.
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Old 11-21-2018, 10:29 AM
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You know about Collins St. Bakery in Corsicana, right?
https://www.collinstreet.com
Best part is that you can stop in their store on I-45 @ TX 287 and get free samples any time of year! (there's one in Waco on I-35, I believe as well)

And it's also a pastry bakery for cookies and other treats, and a coffee/sandwich shop.
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Old 11-21-2018, 10:46 AM
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....What's a "Dalton fruit cube", though?
I meant to say DaltonS

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Fruitcake gets stale? I thought it was basically as durable as neutronium.
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Old 11-21-2018, 11:26 AM
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I love fruitcake. Good and bad. I especially love citron.

Even people who don't love fruitcake tend to like the Collin St version. As I recall, it's full of fresh Texas pecans and cherries.
  #38  
Old 11-21-2018, 01:33 PM
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+1.

AND I love the Panattone, in both raw and French Toast form, whichever is most convenient.

However, not a fan of alcohol, so I don't enjoy the liquor-soaked ones.
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Old 11-21-2018, 01:39 PM
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Every year my grandparents sent us the fruitcake baked by the Trappist monks in their Gethsemani, Kentucky monastery, soaked in Kentucky bourbon whiskey. It was always fresh, succulent, and scrumptious. Growing up, I never got the jokes about bad fruitcake. All my folks ever had was the best one in creation.
There’s another Trappist monastery in Conyers, Georgia, where the monks make fruitcake. Pretty good, but not as dense and fudgy as I like them.
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Old 11-21-2018, 02:49 PM
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I don't mind the cake part itself, but the candied fruit used in most fruitcake (and in stollen) is just vile. I don't know how anyone considers that stuff edible. Make one with something sensible like raisins, though, and I'll take a slice.
  #41  
Old 11-21-2018, 02:59 PM
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I sold them door-to-door in the 5th grade for a fundraiser...that was fun (no, it wasn't).
I'm guessing that class didn't get to make that trip to the Zoo.
  #42  
Old 11-21-2018, 03:33 PM
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I also like fruitcake. More golden raisins, etc the better, not so many nuts please.

The glace fruits add color, but use them sparingly.

Fruitcake can be Ok for about a year, ymmv. Cool place, etc.
  #43  
Old 11-21-2018, 03:36 PM
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If you want superior quality( and boozy )fruitcake and are prepared to pay threw the nose for the priviledge, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan beckons.

Last edited by Tamerlane; 11-21-2018 at 03:36 PM.
  #44  
Old 11-21-2018, 03:58 PM
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There's a Trappist Abbey a little ways west of us that makes a really good fruitcake that I try to buy every year. (they sell out quickly.)
I don't much care for the ones made with cheap booze, however. I'd as soon have a cake without any booze at all. I may try to make my own (non-alcoholic cake) this year.
  #45  
Old 11-22-2018, 04:37 PM
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Love fruitcake, pannetone as french toast, and I love making plum pudding using an old family recipe that has been in my Dad's family for at least a couple hundred years.



Brandied Hard Sauce yes or no?
  #46  
Old 11-22-2018, 05:00 PM
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My family has an old recipe for fruitcake that has no booze. We prefer it that way. I LOVE fruitcake if it's quality stuff.
  #47  
Old 11-22-2018, 06:42 PM
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True fruitcake is great. Preferably from Britain and particularly from a single-malt distiller.

I British colleague in Bangkok had never heard of Americans' penchant for treating fruitcake as a joke. She simply could not understand it despite the best efforts of myself and a fellow American to explain it.
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Old 11-22-2018, 09:56 PM
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I don't like candied fruit but I love "real" fruitcake like Alton Brown's free-range fruitcake. Dense, rich and nutty. And I love mince pies, also home-made.
  #49  
Old 11-25-2018, 08:32 PM
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I'm guessing you fruitcake lovers also have a secret thing for circus peanuts.
  #50  
Old 11-25-2018, 08:33 PM
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I'm guessing you fruitcake lovers also have a secret thing for circus peanuts.
No, I hate them.
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