#1  
Old 06-24-2019, 10:17 AM
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In a Mere 20 Minutes


We had 2 of the grandkids (7 yo girl & 8 yo boy) for a sleepover on Sat night. It was a beautiful day, we spent a couple of hours at a local lake then came home and had supper. The weather started to turn, so I decided to take the dogs for a walk - one at a time. My dogs are big - 90 & 115 lbs. So unless we're out hiking and they're off leash, I don't normally walk them at the same time. So I took out Romeo first and the kids wanted to come with too. (Back story - Romeo has been sick for a few days (diarrhea and vomiting.) We get back to the house and as I suspected, the kids were done with walking so they stayed home with grandpa and Romeo. I leashed up Luca and headed out. When I returned, grandpa otherwise known as my husband came storming out of the house as though he had just been through a major disaster. Here's what happened in the 20 minutes I was gone:

The teeny little girl, who at the age of 7 still wears size 4 pants, plugged the toilet with a giant turd she flushed down earlier in the day. The plugging and overflowing occurred when her brother attempted to flush his poop that, I was told, was a brilliant shade of green (more than likely caused by eating a thousand pieces of Starburst candy).

As grandpa was trying to plunge the toilet, the kids yelled, "grandpa, Romeo is gagging!" He ran to get the dog out of the house before he puked all over the floor. He was unsuccessful.

He told the kids to stay away from the puke. They, of course, were curious and had to see what happened. The little girl took one look at the dog puke and threw up all over the kitchen floor (hamburger and chocolate ice cream - in case you were wondering).

Luckily, some of the mess was left for me to clean up.

My husband said to me after all was said and done, "I don't want to be left alone with kids ever again."
  #2  
Old 06-24-2019, 10:46 AM
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Ah - the magic of kids. Weren't you lucky something was saved for you to clean up!
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Old 06-24-2019, 10:57 AM
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Awesome! Thanks for the laugh

Poor Grandpa. One minute everything's fine and the next he's drowning in turds and barf
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Old 06-24-2019, 12:35 PM
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Funny how fast stuff can go off the rails. Too often a flood of turds and puke is just the beginning.
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Old 06-24-2019, 12:50 PM
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Originally Posted by TRC4941 View Post
poop that, I was told, was a brilliant shade of green (more than likely caused by eating a thousand pieces of Starburst candy).
Interestingly that green color comes from eating purple candy (or really anything with that purple coloring -- a grape Popsicle, grape Kool-Aid, grape soda, etc.). That purple coloring reacts with an enzyme in your digestive system and turns green.
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Old 06-24-2019, 01:33 PM
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Gah! Been there done that.
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Old 06-24-2019, 02:37 PM
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Think of that 20 minutes as the length of time that Piccard and Walsh stayed down in the Marianas Trench in 1960, and maybe all the chaos that erupted will seem less epic.
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  #8  
Old 06-24-2019, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
Think of that 20 minutes as the length of time that Piccard and Walsh stayed down in the Marianas Trench in 1960, and maybe all the chaos that erupted will seem less epic.
Seems like they kept meaning to go back...did they?
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Old 06-24-2019, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya View Post
Seems like they kept meaning to go back...did they?
Quote:
Descents





The bathyscaphe Trieste (designed by Auguste Piccard), the first manned vehicle to reach the bottom of the Mariana Trench.[21]
Five descents have been achieved. The first was the manned descent by Swiss-designed, Italian-built, United States Navy-owned bathyscaphe Trieste which reached the bottom at 1:06 pm on 23 January 1960, with Don Walsh and Jacques Piccard on board.[13][22] Iron shot was used for ballast, with gasoline for buoyancy.[13] The onboard systems indicated a depth of 11,521 m (37,799 ft), but this was later revised to 10,916 m (35,814 ft).[23] The depth was estimated from a conversion of pressure measured and calculations based on the water density from sea surface to seabed.[22]

This was followed by the unmanned ROVs Kaikō in 1996 and Nereus in 2009. The first three expeditions directly measured very similar depths of 10,902 to 10,916 m (35,768 to 35,814 ft). The fourth was made by Canadian film director James Cameron in 2012. On 26 March, he reached the bottom of the Mariana Trench in the submersible vessel Deepsea Challenger, diving to a depth of 10,908m.[24][25][26][27]

In July 2015, members of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, Oregon State University, and the Coast Guard submerged a hydrophone into the deepest part of the Mariana Trench, the Challenger Deep, never having deployed one past a mile. The titanium-shelled hydrophone was designed to withstand the immense pressure 7 miles under.[28] Although researchers were unable to retrieve the hydrophone until November, the data capacity was full within the first 23 days. After months of analyzing the sounds, the experts were surprised to pick up natural sounds like earthquakes, a typhoon, and baleen whales along with and man-made sounds such as boats.[29] Due to the mission's success, the researchers announced plans to deploy a second hydrophone in 2017 for an extended period of time.

In April 2019 Victor Vescovo achieved a new record descent to 10,928 metres (35,849 ft.), and became the first person to dive the Challenger Deep twice[30].

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariana_Trench
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Old 06-24-2019, 03:53 PM
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*wiping away tears of hilarity*

Oh, Beckdawrek, should we make TRC4941 a member of our exclusive club?


~VOW
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  #11  
Old 06-25-2019, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy View Post
Awesome! Thanks for the laugh

Poor Grandpa. One minute everything's fine and the next he's drowning in turds and barf
You're welcome! We are all laughing about it now. The kids talked about it non-stop the next day. They could hardly wait to tell their mom when they got home. As I was driving them home, they were in the backseat discussing how it was going to be told - who got to tell what part. My grandson said, "it was the funniest night of my life".
  #12  
Old 06-25-2019, 02:38 PM
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Here's an old post from 2009 that might make you feel better:

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruCelt View Post
. . .

Help me out here Moms (and Dads), I could use some reassurance. Do days like this happen at your house?

Sunday, I am making pancakes. The Celtling is standing on the foot stool stirring the batter while I flip pancakes at the stove.

Except, wait, no, she's just thrown everything off the bottom shelf of the pantry with one fell swoop of her little arm. . .

So, move Celtling to living room, and engage her in playing with her blocks.

Throw out charcoal pancakes, rinse pan and add more batter.

Clean up unbelievable mess (plastic containers of peaches broken all over brand-new boxes of crackers and Bisquick. . .)

Flip pancakes and check on Celtling - Argggghhhh! a pound and a half of fish flakes are spread all over my living room ! ! ! Fish flakes are light - that is a LOT of fish flakes! ! !

Move Celtling to Den and start favorite video. Pull out Mega blocks (think Big Legos) and get her playing.
Throw out charcoal pancakes.

Put frozen waffles in toaster.

Vacuum living room.

Check on Celtling - Arggghhhhh! Two whole boxes of baby wipes spread all over the Den! ! ! At 72 per box that's 144 baby wipes! And it's the last two boxes!

Serve cold waffles with sliced bananas and plan nice lunch out to make myself feel better. (For those reading the Lent thread I can only say "God would understand!")

Dress self and Celtling and head to Target for more baby wipes.

Did I mention there's a blizzard just starting? Do you know what happens to a Virginia Target when there is snow on the way? It's a MAD HOUSE!

Put Celtling in large section of basket as she doesn't want to ride in the seat. Choose 3-4 books and toys from $1 section to keep her occupied. Get baby wipes and stock up on a few other essentials as long as we're there.

Thread my way gingerly through the crowd toward grocery section to get more peaches.

Glance over towering pile of goods in the "child seat" part of the cart to see if Celtling is still having fun.

NOOOOOOOOOO! That is NOT a 16oz tub of zinc oxide diaper cream spread all over the Celtling and everything in the cart! ! ! It JUST COULDN'T BE!!!!!!!

I have never in my life been so proud to say that I did not lose my temper.

Open baby wipes and clean up as well as possible. Remove utterly plastered pants from Celtling and wrap her up in coat. Proceed gingerly to check out and apologize profusely as checker dons rubber gloves before scanning my goods.

Proceed to Wendy's drive-through since Celtling is now too pantless for the restaurant I had in mind.

Take food home and set it up on Celtling's little table to eat. She's not hungry, so I eat alone.

Finish eating and look up to see the sole remaining can of fish food being joyfully shaken across Dining room carpet. (That would be the Chinese hand-cut I just paid $150 to clean.)



Now, those of you without children will be wondering how I could be so inattentive as to allow this to happen all day. You just don't know how quickly it DOES happen. You'll notice there are no bathroom breaks in this story . . . there just isn't time.

OK, I feel a little better now, thank you all for listening!
  #13  
Old 06-25-2019, 10:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TruCelt

Check on Celtling - Arggghhhhh! Two whole boxes of baby wipes spread all over the Den! ! ! At 72 per box that's 144 baby wipes!
Ooooh... gross!
  #14  
Old 06-25-2019, 11:48 PM
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http://www.shitmykidsruined.com/

http://www.shitmypetsruined.com/
  #15  
Old 06-26-2019, 07:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
Gah! Been there done that.
You clogged the toilet then puked on the kitchen floor?
  #16  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by WildaBeast View Post
Interestingly that green color comes from eating purple candy (or really anything with that purple coloring -- a grape Popsicle, grape Kool-Aid, grape soda, etc.). That purple coloring reacts with an enzyme in your digestive system and turns green.
Cheap licorice candy can do the same. Twizzlers has not had that effect on me, but store-brand stuff has. You're welcome.

This tale reminds me of when Moon Unit was doing some potty training. We were in the master bedroom with the TV on, she was bottomless, and the potty seat was near the TV.

She got up, walked out to her own room, came back in, and said something like "poo-poo". I sniffed, grabbed her, sat her on the potty seat, then went to check out her bedroom. Yep, quite a mess on the carpet. I came back into my bedroom to check on her and she hadn't done anything *in* the potty but, well, there was residue on her bottom and legs (and thus on the seat).

So I took her into the bathroom, started the tub, plunked her in, and popped into her room to start cleaning the mess. No, I did not leave her to drown; her bedroom door was right next to the bathroom door, and she was never out of my sight for more than 5 seconds.

So I began the task of carrying wads of soiled TP from the bedroom floor to the toilet. Foolishly, I did not flush after each wad.... so my kid managed to clog a toilet without even using it. I honestly can't recall whether I managed to make the toilet overflow but it would have been fitting addition to the festivities if I had.
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