Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-06-2019, 10:30 AM
Quimby is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: NJ
Posts: 8,602

What is your "Third Place"?


I am reading book that discusses the concept of a Third Place, where your First Place is home and your Second Place is work, it is a place you go with the following criteria:

It is open to the public.
It has a relaxed and mostly casual atmosphere that facilitates conversation.
You can interact with people you don't know.

Bars, Taverns and Coffee shops are examples of common Third Places. You can make the argument (and indeed the book I am reading does) that Social Media or boards like this one are also Third Places.

So, what is your Third Place?
  #2  
Old 12-06-2019, 10:33 AM
Gatopescado is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: on your last raw nerve
Posts: 23,729
Chairlift at Heavenly Valley.
  #3  
Old 12-06-2019, 10:42 AM
kayaker's Avatar
kayaker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Rural Western PA
Posts: 34,801
Yeah, there is a bar that fits the third place description.

Quote:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
The troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name
  #4  
Old 12-06-2019, 10:50 AM
Telemark's Avatar
Telemark is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Just outside of Titletown
Posts: 24,104
My pottery studio.
  #5  
Old 12-06-2019, 11:18 AM
HotDogWater is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wormtown, MA
Posts: 272
My local rugby club.
  #6  
Old 12-06-2019, 11:30 AM
Inigo Montoya's Avatar
Inigo Montoya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: On the level, if inclined
Posts: 16,690
I was having trouble coming up with something, and then I realized:
* It is open to the public.
* It has a relaxed and mostly casual atmosphere that facilitates conversation.
* You can interact with people you don't know.
That literally sounds like Hell to me.

Or maybe the grocery store.

Last edited by Inigo Montoya; 12-06-2019 at 11:30 AM.
  #7  
Old 12-06-2019, 11:47 AM
Just Asking Questions is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,969
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya View Post
I was having trouble coming up with something, and then I realized:
* It is open to the public.
* It has a relaxed and mostly casual atmosphere that facilitates conversation.
* You can interact with people you don't know.
That literally sounds like Hell to me.

Or maybe the grocery store.
Or the Straight Dope.
  #8  
Old 12-06-2019, 11:51 AM
krondys's Avatar
krondys is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Gillette, Wyoming
Posts: 1,262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya View Post
I was having trouble coming up with something, and then I realized:
* It is open to the public.
* It has a relaxed and mostly casual atmosphere that facilitates conversation.
* You can interact with people you don't know.
That literally sounds like Hell to me.
This.

Seriously.

Interact with people I don't know? In meatspace? Uh, no thanks.

Last edited by krondys; 12-06-2019 at 11:52 AM. Reason: Quoted the wrong thing...
  #9  
Old 12-06-2019, 11:53 AM
Ludovic is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: America's Wing
Posts: 31,199
Yeah, I don't interact with people I do know much less don't know. Except if I'm really wasted. The closest I can come up with is Manager's Reception (free drinks hour) at Embassy Suites which has a good enough combo of atmosphere and drunkenness where I can talk to people I don't know, but I've only experienced it a dozen or two times, so I can't really call it my place.

If they mean my happy place, I'd say it's the balcony of the Contemporary Resort at Disney World, where I can sip my tea in peace in a beautiful futuristic setting while I watch the monorails go by.
  #10  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:07 PM
Thudlow Boink's Avatar
Thudlow Boink is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Lincoln, IL
Posts: 29,023
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quimby View Post
It is open to the public.
It has a relaxed and mostly casual atmosphere that facilitates conversation.
You can interact with people you don't know.
...
boards like this one are also Third Places.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Asking Questions View Post
the Straight Dope.
Yep. A place I frequent that fits the OP's description? You're looking at it.
  #11  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:19 PM
cmkeller's Avatar
cmkeller is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: New York, NY, USA
Posts: 13,678
If on-line counts, then definitely either here or Royals Review, not sure which one is my "primary" these days.

In real-time, probably my synagogue is the place I'd describe as such.
__________________
"Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks."
-- Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
  #12  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:26 PM
enipla is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Colorado Rockies.
Posts: 15,291
Denver. About 100 miles east of me.

I go down about every 3 weeks or so to see my mother and then hang out with my cousins.
__________________
I don't live in the middle of nowhere, but I can see it from here.
  #13  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:33 PM
control-z is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Virginia
Posts: 13,198
A local nature trail next to a river.
  #14  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:38 PM
beowulff's Avatar
beowulff is online now
Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Scottsdale, more-or-less
Posts: 17,435
The gym.
  #15  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:40 PM
TRC4941's Avatar
TRC4941 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NE Minnesota
Posts: 1,487
I can't think of any place that I go to interact with people I don't know. I do not go to bars. If I'm not at home or work I'm usually walking the dogs in the woods somewhere. Luckily I don't see a lot of strangers there! But that would be my third happy place. Somewhere on a trail in the woods, or near a creek or lake - either just me and the dogs or with my husband, a sister or a friend.
  #16  
Old 12-06-2019, 01:06 PM
Revtim is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 20,228
My local Starbucks, but I rarely if ever talk to anybody there to be honest.
  #17  
Old 12-06-2019, 01:18 PM
saje is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SC
Posts: 2,351
This place fits the best, I think. The other board I'm on regularly is very small and we've all known each other (online, anyway) for close on 20 years. I wouldn't call them strangers even though I haven't most of them IRL.

I work retail, there is no way in hell I'm going to hang out in a public space to chat with strangers on my own time for the fum of it. I do actually kind of like being alone in a 'crowd' (like a coffee shop or a restaurant), but I still want to be ~left~ alone. I don't want interaction, I just like to be a nonentity on the fringes and maybe do some subtle people-watching.

On second thought, I do have one place, though it's more an activity than a single place. I volunteer a fair amount at horse shows (eventing, for the horse-y folk. I like to jump judge and do Finish timing on cross-country). In that regard I am interacting with strangers, mostly on a radio and a bit of face-to-face.

Last edited by saje; 12-06-2019 at 01:22 PM.
  #18  
Old 12-06-2019, 01:18 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle's Avatar
Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 4,381
Its not really a fixed place per se, but a couple of running stores in my town host group runs. Definitely casual, since its hard to be stuffy wearing 3 shorts and a sweat-soaked singlet, and its very easy to strike up a conversation: What are your favorite shoes? and So, training for a race? are pretty sure-fire opening lines. I have lost count of the people Ive met and chatted with during the course of a run, even in a race. Runners like to talk about our sport. Ad nauseam, according to my wife.
  #19  
Old 12-06-2019, 01:35 PM
Quimby is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: NJ
Posts: 8,602
FWIW You don't *have* to interact with people you don't know, just that there is an opportunity to do so. And yeah I think this board is a valid answer. That was actually the reason the book ("Because Internet" in case someone is curious) brought up that concept. To say that places on the internet have essentially become the "Third Place" for many (most?) people.
  #20  
Old 12-06-2019, 01:58 PM
begbert2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Idaho
Posts: 14,111
Given that I don't really consider online interactions to be "meeting people", I don't go to any Third Places. The stores and eateries I go to don't really have atmospheres that facilitate conversation with strangers. I mean, it can happen, but it doesn't happen.
  #21  
Old 12-06-2019, 02:04 PM
Telemark's Avatar
Telemark is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Just outside of Titletown
Posts: 24,104
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
Chairlift at Heavenly Valley.
I'd say the Single Chair at Mad River Glen, but that doesn't quite meet the criteria, so I'll say the lift line for the Single Chair at MRG.
  #22  
Old 12-06-2019, 02:46 PM
Ignotus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,439
The Third Place (which might, actually, be closer to the second!) would probably be my door-to-door neighbor's apartment. We have sort of a Seinfeld/Kramer agreement: I can use her stuff, and she mine (but she won't, as it's mostly garbage.) I also go to her to talk about things that trouble me, and curse about them. Oh, and she is free to enjoy the company of my cats when I am gone for a few days )

(In return, I do a bit of work in the garden summertime, and provide her with some fresh-caught fish!)
  #23  
Old 12-06-2019, 02:49 PM
Ike Witt's Avatar
Ike Witt is online now
Charter Member
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Lost in the mists of time
Posts: 15,574
[Alec Baldwin] Third place is 'you're fired'. [/AB]
  #24  
Old 12-06-2019, 02:56 PM
Ignotus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ike Witt View Post
[Alec Baldwin] Third place is 'you're fired'. [/AB]
You were too late introducing yourself.
  #25  
Old 12-06-2019, 03:03 PM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Middle ear
Posts: 6,581
The closest thing I have to a Third Place is probably my synagogue.

I'm not very good at social.
  #26  
Old 12-06-2019, 03:11 PM
kopek's Avatar
kopek is offline
born to be shunned
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Southwestern PA
Posts: 16,171
a) Home is my Third Place --- I hate my house and I don't talk here very much. Or listen really.

b) Work is currently my First Place

Under the rules set forth I would say the gun club is my Second Place. And not just the one I belong to; I attend shoots across several states and find most great places and since events are open to the public it qualifies here.
  #27  
Old 12-06-2019, 03:30 PM
DorkVader is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 3,590
strictly sticking to the rules, this place is my 3rd place. onlly not really, my real 3rd place doesn't conform to the rules as stated
  #28  
Old 12-06-2019, 03:39 PM
begbert2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Idaho
Posts: 14,111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malleus, Incus, Stapes! View Post
The closest thing I have to a Third Place is probably my synagogue.

I'm not very good at social.
Having never heard the term "Third Place" before this, I wouldn't surprise me at all if it had been devised as a way to discuss the question "Now that all you heathens have abandoned religion, where are you going to go to get uplifting interactions with others now? Huh? Huh??"
  #29  
Old 12-06-2019, 03:53 PM
kenobi 65's Avatar
kenobi 65 is offline
Corellian Nerfherder
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Brookfield, IL
Posts: 17,743
My third places are here on the SDMB, and the MMORPG that I play.
  #30  
Old 12-06-2019, 04:15 PM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor's Avatar
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Dogpatch/Middle TN.
Posts: 31,264
Nowhere.
  #31  
Old 12-06-2019, 04:50 PM
thorny locust's Avatar
thorny locust is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 2,389
Libraries.

Although for me it's also work, farmers' markets serve some of the same function.

And yes, message boards.
  #32  
Old 12-06-2019, 05:14 PM
That Don Guy's Avatar
That Don Guy is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 4,986
The closest thing I have to a "third place" that I go to on a regular basis is the Origins game fair in Columbus every year. Had you asked me this 25 years or so ago, I would have said the Barnes & Noble or Borders near where I live, but (a) both have long been closed, and (b) there's no B&N (Borders being long out of business) near enough to where I live or work that makes it worth my time to go there on a regular basis.
  #33  
Old 12-06-2019, 09:38 PM
RioRico is offline
Suspended
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: beyond cell service
Posts: 3,193
Home has usually been my first place.
I've had no workplace since 1987.
I have never hung-out in bars.

Current second places? My medical stops. Most of my interactions are with medical personnel.
Third place? The car. Or the RV when we're gone. Or the interior of my skull when WiFi is out.
  #34  
Old 12-06-2019, 11:48 PM
Spoons is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 22,026
Online, the SDMB of course.

But in real life, my Third Place is my local sports bar. They know me, I know them, and I've made plenty of friends among the regulars. Besides, where else could I hang out among people nicknamed Bud Light Brian, Regular Wes, Jockey, and Pinball Mike? (And yes, they know me as "Spoons," too.)
  #35  
Old 12-07-2019, 12:05 AM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 57,856
Aside from the SDMB, I don't even have a Second Place, let alone a Third.

Last edited by panache45; 12-07-2019 at 12:05 AM.
  #36  
Old 12-07-2019, 12:47 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Boonies??
Posts: 23,460
1st, 2nd, 3rd--My house.
More recently the Dope seems like a nice place to be.
Unless you count for my imaginings and day dreams. My head is full of worldly places I go everyday.
(No, I'm not really crazy, I promise)
  #37  
Old 12-07-2019, 02:59 AM
Die Capacitrix's Avatar
Die Capacitrix is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 496
There's a bookstore outside Seattle named for this concept, called Third Place Books. They have a cafe with visiting authors and other events.

My third place? A whisky distillery and/or shop. Doesn't matter which one. Seems to be a good place for long discussions.

Also a local (actually an hour away) cheese shop which serves beer, cheese, etc.

And Straight Dope. Reddit just doesn't do it for me.

Last edited by Die Capacitrix; 12-07-2019 at 03:00 AM. Reason: Try to improve my English. Well.
  #38  
Old 12-07-2019, 06:48 AM
N9IWP is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Southeast MN
Posts: 6,545
Probably my board game group. The place we meet is locked, but there is (my) phone number there to let folks in.
We meet most Thursday nights and have a monthly game day (9am-9pm)

Brian
  #39  
Old 12-07-2019, 09:20 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 59,680
Definitely libraries score on all three.

* It is open to the public.
* It has a relaxed and mostly casual atmosphere that facilitates conversation.
* You can interact with people you don't know.

You can also get free and cheap books, CDS, and DVDS.
  #40  
Old 12-07-2019, 10:14 AM
PastTense is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,444
I just have two places: My house (I also work at home) and the internet.
  #41  
Old 12-07-2019, 10:45 AM
P-man is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Washington, DC area
Posts: 2,018
If I can count somewhere I go 15 or so times a year, the ballpark.
  #42  
Old 12-07-2019, 11:13 AM
Bullitt's Avatar
Bullitt is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: SF Giants Nation 10-12-14
Posts: 27,568
My third place is out and about with my wife. We could be traveling or vacationing, or just running errands. We enjoy doing things together. We don’t go to places to interact with people we don’t know, but we enjoy just being alone together or we also enjoy randomly meeting people and having good conversations.

Thanks for the reminder — last week we were traveling at the Columbia River Gorge. After a few hours at a museum we stopped in at the Skamania Lodge to enjoy a drink and take in the view. On our way out we met two other couples enjoying wine in the lounge. They invited us to join them and we sat for an hour enjoying wine and good conversation and laughs. I have their business cards in my wallet and I’ve been meaning to follow up. One of them will be coming to our area next month and we hope to meet up again.

We enjoy the random, serendipitous meeting of new people. It happens from time to time, but mostly we just like being alone together.
  #43  
Old 12-07-2019, 04:59 PM
Ulfreida is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: pangolandia
Posts: 4,210
Church.
  #44  
Old 12-07-2019, 05:09 PM
Hari Seldon is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Trantor
Posts: 13,846
TSD definitely. Actually my second place since I am retired.
  #45  
Old 12-07-2019, 05:16 PM
River Hippie's Avatar
River Hippie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: N.E. Indiana, USA
Posts: 6,009
I think that's what's missing in my life now. I used to have a third place but a bunch of little reasons have combined to funnel me down to just work and home. I have a much more enjoyable home than I did when I had a third place but it's not the same.
  #46  
Old 12-08-2019, 02:00 AM
Tim R. Mortiss's Avatar
Tim R. Mortiss is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Lincoln Park, Chicago
Posts: 7,411
My neighborhood. I live in a very walkable neighborhood in Chicago, and I spend much of my free time just walking in the shopping districts, parks, trails, the lakefront, etc. It is truly a home away from home. It doesn't matter that I own a tiny condo; I live in my entire neighborhood.
  #47  
Old 12-08-2019, 07:55 AM
Author Balk is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 390
The section of the road where I walk the dog.
It's public except for the neighbor's field (we have permission). Sometimes there is conversation with neighbors who are out, but it could be limited to weather talk. And since this is an area where everyone waves at each other there is some interaction with strangers.
  #48  
Old 12-08-2019, 08:26 AM
pulykamell is online now
Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: SW Side, Chicago
Posts: 49,456
Now, not much. In college, my third place was the coffee shop. In my twenties, my third place was a local bar where I was living (I was in there at least three times a week.) Now, settled in my forties, married with a couple of kids, I don't really have three spaces. Most of my work is done from home; and the closest I have to a third space is a bar, but one that I only get to once every couple of months, if that. If you want to call the SDMB a "third place," sure, that fits. That's pretty much the majority of my social interactions these days. Not that I mind; it's just different.
  #49  
Old 12-08-2019, 10:37 AM
shh1313 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 61
My place is online poker WSOP.
  #50  
Old 12-08-2019, 01:34 PM
nelliebly is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,055
Is it still my Third Place if I don't work, or does my Third Place become my Second Place?
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:17 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017