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  #1  
Old 09-01-2011, 07:51 AM
Colophon Colophon is offline
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Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis? Or, wankers

In Cecil's erudite column he uses the word "wanker" as a synonym for penis. Is this common usage anywhere? I was given to understand that Americans in general were not familiar with this (British) expression. In any case, that's not what it means (or, at least, I've never heard it used that way in Britain). The wanker is the person doing the wanking, not the part he's doing it to.
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Old 09-01-2011, 04:27 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Just last night I was remembering a bit of a controversy I heard about Miami Vice, where (guest star) Phil Collins called someone a wanker. It apparently only got through the censors because they didn't understand what he meant.

But yes, my understanding is that wanker is the person, and wanking is what he's doing. Having a wank describes the process, not the equipment.

I've never heard of wank/penis being interchangeable.
  #3  
Old 09-01-2011, 04:39 PM
Canadjun Canadjun is offline
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Originally Posted by maggenpye View Post
Just last night I was remembering a bit of a controversy I heard about Miami Vice, where (guest star) Phil Collins called someone a wanker. It apparently only got through the censors because they didn't understand what he meant.

But yes, my understanding is that wanker is the person, and wanking is what he's doing. Having a wank describes the process, not the equipment.

I've never heard of wank/penis being interchangeable.
If a wanker is the person doing it, I guess what it is being done to is the wankee?
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Old 09-01-2011, 04:42 PM
John W. Kennedy John W. Kennedy is offline
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The OED does not list such a meaning.
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Old 09-01-2011, 04:59 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Originally Posted by Canadjun View Post
If a wanker is the person doing it, I guess what it is being done to is the wankee?
While there's a part of my brain scanning records for any joke along those lines, for the most part I think it's more likely to be the 'banker/customer' unconnected construction.

Sigh.
  #6  
Old 09-03-2011, 11:19 AM
eastcheap eastcheap is offline
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Perhaps pigs' willies are a bunch of wankers. Having never met one personally, I really couldn't say.
  #7  
Old 09-03-2011, 11:38 AM
Tapioca Dextrin Tapioca Dextrin is offline
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Picture link.
  #8  
Old 09-07-2011, 03:51 PM
Kirk Gunn Kirk Gunn is offline
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Consider "Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory": "Wonka" is just a variation on "Wanka" . Freud, Jung, and all the Mind-Miners would have a field day. Especially with being a "wanka" (i.e., "gangsta" is just another way of pronouncing "gangster"), the reference to the "willy", (which everyone knows is a "cute" li'l name for penis), and the objective reference to the goal of The Chocolate Factory, a.k.a. The Hershey Highway.
So, to recap: SOMEONE is "wanking willy" (i.e., masturbating) while thinking of a sexual object, "The Chocolate Factory", a euphemism for anal sex.
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Old 09-07-2011, 03:54 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Well, that puts a new spin on Augustus Gloop disappearing up the chocolate pipe!

Last edited by maggenpye; 09-07-2011 at 03:55 PM. Reason: splelnig
  #10  
Old 09-07-2011, 06:20 PM
gamerunknown gamerunknown is offline
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la anthony blanche?
  #11  
Old 09-07-2011, 08:57 PM
SciFiSam SciFiSam is offline
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The line is:

Accompanying this passage is a helpful drawing revealing that not only does the male pig have a corkscrew-shaped wanker, the female pig has a corkscrew-shaped receptacle, as it were...

Perhaps there was a very oddly-shaped human helping said pig?
  #12  
Old 09-08-2011, 02:55 PM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Pigs are not the only animals with odd shaped sexual organs.
(Nor the largest in relation to body size, as per the link below. SFW)

http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentine_Blue-bill
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  #13  
Old 09-08-2011, 03:59 PM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Originally Posted by Colophon View Post
In Cecil's erudite column he uses the word "wanker" as a synonym for penis. ... The wanker is the person doing the wanking, not the part he's doing it to.
(bolding mine)

[nit pick] Shouldn't that read, "not the part he's doing it with."
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  #14  
Old 09-08-2011, 04:09 PM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Originally Posted by maggenpye View Post
Just last night I was remembering a bit of a controversy I heard about Miami Vice, where (guest star) Phil Collins called someone a wanker. It apparently only got through the censors because they didn't understand what he meant.

But yes, my understanding is that wanker is the person, and wanking is what he's doing. Having a wank describes the process, not the equipment.

I've never heard of wank/penis being interchangeable.

Would the following examples be grammatically correct?

He's a such a wanker.
He wanted to wank her.
She really enjoyed getting wanked.
They were caught wanking in the car park.
  #15  
Old 09-08-2011, 04:27 PM
SciFiSam SciFiSam is offline
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Originally Posted by JBDivmstr View Post
Would the following examples be grammatically correct?

He's a such a wanker.
He wanted to wank her.
She really enjoyed getting wanked.
They were caught wanking in the car park.
It'd have to be:

He wanted to wank her off.
She really enjoyed getting wanked off.

But they'd both look odd, since wanking is usually for self-pleasuring, not others.
  #16  
Old 09-08-2011, 04:34 PM
pitcairnpete pitcairnpete is offline
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One experienced wanker to others .... no.. wait.. I wont go there...

The best English head line ever was "the ruddy duck has an 8 inch secret" but I was always lead to believe the biggest knob to body ratio was going to be the barnacle.

scifisam - We dont really "wank" women off over here do we.. Its just not said lol. Not through vulgarity prevention measures, it just doesn't really sound right.

Last edited by pitcairnpete; 09-08-2011 at 04:35 PM. Reason: a note to scifisam
  #17  
Old 09-09-2011, 03:31 AM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Originally Posted by SciFiSam View Post
It'd have to be:

He wanted to wank her off.
She really enjoyed getting wanked off.

But they'd both look odd, since wanking is usually for self-pleasuring, not others.
Ahhh! I think I understand, now.
'Wanking' (or is it, 'wanking off'?) is the colloquial English equivalent of the American euphemism, 'jacking off'. (ie: masturbating)
Correct?
  #18  
Old 09-09-2011, 04:57 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Correct - except 'jacker' hasn't entered your language in any meaningful way.

Like the British 'frigging' - as explained by those jolly musical chaps the Sex Pistols, who attempted to popularise it with their little sea shanty Frigging in the Rigging ('Cause there's fuck all else to do).

I see from a quick googling (as it were) that they've performed this song with the Muppets. I'm kind of scared to watch the video. ETA: Mash up of Muppets video and SP soundtrack. Weird but funny if you like seeing innocent children's characters performing gross out humor. I do!

Last edited by maggenpye; 09-09-2011 at 05:00 PM.
  #19  
Old 09-09-2011, 05:31 PM
SciFiSam SciFiSam is offline
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Originally Posted by pitcairnpete View Post
One experienced wanker to others .... no.. wait.. I wont go there...

The best English head line ever was "the ruddy duck has an 8 inch secret" but I was always lead to believe the biggest knob to body ratio was going to be the barnacle.

scifisam - We dont really "wank" women off over here do we.. Its just not said lol. Not through vulgarity prevention measures, it just doesn't really sound right.
I've heard it for women more in the past few years, but yeah, it's mostly for men.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBDivmstr View Post
Ahhh! I think I understand, now.
'Wanking' (or is it, 'wanking off'?) is the colloquial English equivalent of the American euphemism, 'jacking off'. (ie: masturbating)
Correct?
Wanking is masturbating, wanking someone else off is jacking them off.

I wonder if 'jerk someone off' has a similar meaning, or used to? It'd make the mild insult 'you jerk-off!' be a little more colourful.
  #20  
Old 09-12-2011, 07:23 AM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Originally Posted by maggenpye View Post
Correct - except 'jacker' hasn't entered your language in any meaningful way.

Like the British 'frigging' - as explained by those jolly musical chaps the Sex Pistols, who attempted to popularise it with their little sea shanty Frigging in the Rigging ('Cause there's fuck all else to do).

I see from a quick googling (as it were) that they've performed this song with the Muppets. I'm kind of scared to watch the video. ETA: Mash up of Muppets video and SP soundtrack. Weird but funny if you like seeing innocent children's characters performing gross out humor. I do!
'Jacker' is used to a certain extent over here in the colonies, just not with sexual undertones. I'm certain you're familiar with the term 'carjack', aren't you? (ie: To steal someones car while they're in it. Such as, at a stop sign or red light.) The term 'to jack' or 'jacked' is pretty common street slang for robbery or theft.
And 'frigging' is not all that uncommon either. (And it's used exactly like your example.) It's a slightly more polite way of saying 'fucking', is all.
  #21  
Old 09-12-2011, 10:17 AM
Rickymouse Rickymouse is offline
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I'm not really interested in checking out a male pig to see what it possesses.
  #22  
Old 09-12-2011, 04:34 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Originally Posted by JBDivmstr View Post
'Jacker' is used to a certain extent over here in the colonies, just not with sexual undertones. I'm certain you're familiar with the term 'carjack', aren't you? (ie: To steal someones car while they're in it. Such as, at a stop sign or red light.) The term 'to jack' or 'jacked' is pretty common street slang for robbery or theft.
And 'frigging' is not all that uncommon either. (And it's used exactly like your example.) It's a slightly more polite way of saying 'fucking', is all.
With the song example given, 'frigging' is more self love than loving another, though when used as an ejaculation (heh) as in "this frigging thing won't work" it is a simple replacement for 'fucking', as you say.

I am ill and grumpy and at work, so I'm not picking up humour very well. What does car jacking have to do with sex?

Last edited by maggenpye; 09-12-2011 at 04:34 PM.
  #23  
Old 09-13-2011, 06:17 AM
Floater Floater is offline
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Interesting that nobody has mentioned wang or wanger, which both mean penis (in this context).
  #24  
Old 09-13-2011, 07:09 AM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is online now
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Presumably he meant to say wanger. Just a slight typo, k instead of g. And the spell checker failed to pick it up.

Of course, Cecil never makes mistakes, so the error must have been made by his editor.


Edit - I'd swear that Floater's post wasn't visible when I started typing mine.

Last edited by Peter Morris; 09-13-2011 at 07:10 AM.
  #25  
Old 09-13-2011, 12:33 PM
Irishman Irishman is offline
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Originally Posted by SciFiSam View Post
I wonder if 'jerk someone off' has a similar meaning, or used to? It'd make the mild insult 'you jerk-off!' be a little more colourful.
Yes, "jerk off" has the meaning of masturbation. Calling someone a "jerk-off" carries that connotation. I'm not certain the etymology of the word "jerk" - if it derived from "jerk-off" or has a different origin, but it does not carry that meaning now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by maggenpye View Post
I am ill and grumpy and at work, so I'm not picking up humour very well. What does car jacking have to do with sex?
Nothing especially. I assume his smiley face was in reference to "the colonies".
  #26  
Old 09-13-2011, 04:16 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Originally Posted by Irishman View Post

Nothing especially. I assume his smiley face was in reference to "the colonies".
Ah. To paraphrase Churchill; separated by a common colonial history and language.

Last edited by maggenpye; 09-13-2011 at 04:16 PM.
  #27  
Old 09-14-2011, 12:20 AM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Originally Posted by Irishman View Post
Yes, "jerk off" has the meaning of masturbation. Calling someone a "jerk-off" carries that connotation. I'm not certain the etymology of the word "jerk" - if it derived from "jerk-off" or has a different origin, but it does not carry that meaning now.

Nothing especially. I assume his smiley face was in reference to "the colonies".
(bolding mine)

Annnnd, we have a winner! Give the man a cigar!
(No offense meant gentlemen, one of my oldest friends, best dive buddy and the greatest 'wing man' I've ever known, is from Great Britain.)


Quote:
Yes, "jerk off" has the meaning of masturbation. Calling someone a "jerk-off" carries that connotation...
First off, I am not a linguist, etymologist or teacher of any kind. But, FWIW and IMHO...

In a very convoluted way, I guess you could connect calling someone a 'jerkoff' with masturbation. To elaborate, a jerk off is someone that is wasting time (just, not sexually). So to connect that with masturbation...
wasting time = wasting one's seed (sperm).

In my neck of the woods though, calling somebody a 'jerkoff' usually implies that the person is a 'slacker' and that they're 'jerking off' or avoiding/shirking work.

Hey, I said it was very convoluted. I wasn't kidding.

The terms jacking off/jack off and jerking off/jerk off are interchangeable, the definition (sexual or nonsexual) is determined by the context in which it is used. This may also be dependant upon geographical location, as slang (colloquiallisms) can vary tremendously from one part of the country to another.
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  #28  
Old 09-14-2011, 01:27 AM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Gentlemen? Ahem (checks) and a kiwi chick, thanks.

Last edited by maggenpye; 09-14-2011 at 01:28 AM.
  #29  
Old 09-14-2011, 02:27 AM
psychonaut psychonaut is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirk Gunn View Post
Consider "Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory": "Wonka" is just a variation on "Wanka" . Freud, Jung, and all the Mind-Miners would have a field day. Especially with being a "wanka" (i.e., "gangsta" is just another way of pronouncing "gangster"), the reference to the "willy", (which everyone knows is a "cute" li'l name for penis), and the objective reference to the goal of The Chocolate Factory, a.k.a. The Hershey Highway.
So, to recap: SOMEONE is "wanking willy" (i.e., masturbating) while thinking of a sexual object, "The Chocolate Factory", a euphemism for anal sex.
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
  #30  
Old 09-14-2011, 02:49 AM
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Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis?

Not as far as I can remember. They're just "regular." (Did you think this because they're often depicted with corkscrew tails? Which is not quite true; they're more like a loose curl.)

But a tom cat does. (Told to me by a "large animal" vet---cows, horses etc. Who is a woman, BTW) That's why you hear (female) cats squalling in the night. Would you want to be assaulted with such a thing?
  #31  
Old 09-14-2011, 03:13 AM
psychonaut psychonaut is offline
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But a tom cat does. (Told to me by a "large animal" vet---cows, horses etc. Who is a woman, BTW) That's why you hear (female) cats squalling in the night.
Not quite. The penis of the cat is barbed, not curled.
  #32  
Old 09-14-2011, 04:20 PM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Originally Posted by maggenpye View Post
Gentlemen? Ahem (checks) and a kiwi chick, thanks.
<on bended knee, red faced and humbled>
I beg forgiveness for my dreadful mistake.
I meant no offense, dear lady. Please show mercy, and pardon a poor, pitiful noobs ignorance.
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  #33  
Old 09-14-2011, 05:48 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Hah, it used to happen alot IRL when I was young and skinny and a bit of a feminist, I got over it decades ago.

Noob? Join date 1999? Hah again.

It slipped past earlier, but I think Peter Morris' 'wanger' idea should get more attention.
  #34  
Old 09-14-2011, 06:45 PM
Fish Cheer Fish Cheer is offline
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Originally Posted by Becky2844 View Post
Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis?

Not as far as I can remember. They're just "regular."
Having personally handled one (oh the pleasures of vet school), I can attest that they indeed do.

http://bedandbreakfastwinchester.com/files/2011/02/1297444488-73.jpg

Shows a pig's penis; probably depends on where you work whether that's OK.

Last edited by Fish Cheer; 09-14-2011 at 06:47 PM. Reason: broke link just in case
  #35  
Old 09-22-2011, 04:19 AM
Colophon Colophon is offline
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Originally Posted by Fish Cheer View Post
Having personally handled one (oh the pleasures of vet school), I can attest that they indeed do.

http://bedandbreakfastwinchester.com/files/2011/02/1297444488-73.jpg

Shows a pig's penis; probably depends on where you work whether that's OK.
Empirical evidence, that's what I like to see!

So it's only the end bit that's corkscrew-shaped.

Also, length for show, girth for woooaah. Sorry, piggy.
  #36  
Old 09-22-2011, 04:50 AM
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I thought you were going to link to the video of the duck getting an erection labeled as an "explosive eversion".

Probably NSFW
www .youtube. com/watch?v=qwjEeI2SmiU

May not be the biggest phallus to body ratio, but the unraveling still impresses and shames.

Last edited by Stowed Bob; 09-22-2011 at 04:52 AM.
  #37  
Old 09-22-2011, 08:18 AM
gamerunknown gamerunknown is offline
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On the etymology of the word jerk... If I could hazard a guess:

The jerking motion (somewhat safe for work)

Jacking is similar, if one has ever seen a car jack in operation at any rate. Also, "jacked" can be a synonym for "physically fit", which I'd like to know the etymology of.

I've heard "jilling" is a female equivalent. Also, ymmv on to the validity of "wank her", "wank her off" or any alternative ("finger her" may be suitable, depending on context - though not "I gave her a finger", nor "fingered her off"). For example, "Rebecca Loos wanks a pig" (as she stated "I gave it a wank", thus "I gave him/her a wank" probably being appropriate) was encountered at some point. Though I suppose the collective unconscious probably wants to forget about that. I suppose it would depend on the line of business where one would have to encounter the terms regularly.

For some reason I'd assume that most manuals of style would avoid the tricky business entirely, which could be awkward when one pauses in regaling certain events at a cocktail party with international guests. One wouldn't want to embarrass oneself in front of an English boss, say.
  #38  
Old 09-22-2011, 04:09 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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You're suggesting chatting with your boss about autoeroticism and worried that your gammar may cause embarrassment?
  #39  
Old 09-22-2011, 06:48 PM
TriPolar TriPolar is offline
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I always keep my gammar covered up when there are international guests around.
  #40  
Old 09-22-2011, 07:48 PM
maggenpye maggenpye is offline
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Send Gammer back to the old folk's home and sort out the grammar.
  #41  
Old 09-23-2011, 09:04 AM
gamerunknown gamerunknown is offline
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Well to be fair it'd be awkward having her pop up during discussions of autoeroticism too...
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