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Old 04-11-2001, 06:48 AM
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One of the joys of being a webmaster is spam, I think. This came in this morning and it was so amusing, I thought I'd share. :-)


Sexually Attract Women Instantly

with nature's secret weapon... Pheromones!!

Invisible and undetectable, when unknowingly inhaled by any woman, Androstenone Pheromone Concentrate for men unblocks all restraints and releases her raw animal sex drive!


Translation: turns all women within scent range into drooling, sex-obsessed vegetables!!!


This amazing product is sold in stores for $ 99.95 a bottle. Our price is less... MUCH LESS! This is the strongest concentration of HUMAN pheromones, allowed by law, in an essential oil base. It smells great!


Snake oil...for...um, "MUCH LESS," yeah, that's the ticket. It also, uh, "smells great," right...


Other men will envy your power and success! Wear it just as you would any cologne and women will be instantly attracted to you. Human pheromones have been proven to induce sexual desire in women - ALL WOMEN - even the stubborn one's who were unreceptive to you before!


Even the stubborn ones who loathe you for your repulsive body odor, odious habits, lack of creativity and boorish personality!!!


This astonishing fragrance attracts women like magic!

However, It's not magic - it's science!

Pheromones: Nature's secret attractant. Have you ever noticed how some men are able to attract any woman they want with hardly any effort? This phenomenon used to be known as 'Animal Magnetism'. Many scientists now believe that this attraction is due to Pheromones - subtle body odors that are not consciously detected, but trigged a subconscious sexual response in the opposite sex.

For years animal pheromones have been used to induce breeding in livestock, but only recently has Human Pheromone Extract become available and legal in the U.S.


And if it doesn't work on the woman of your choice, there's always the barnyard!


For the first time, in the late 80s, researchers were able to successfully isolate the human pheromone, Androstenone, found in human sweat. Scientists in Israel have recently found a way to synthetically reproduce this naturally occurring aphrodisiac in the laboratory.

This is the one and the ONLY chemical that really attracts women! No other chemical or compound - natural or synthetic - produces even a tenth of the excitement in women as Androstenone Pheromone Concentrate.


Except for crack cocaine.


The announcement of this scientific breakthrough, set off a media fire-storm. In the last few years, the remarkable aphrodisiac qualities of Androstenone Pheromones have been featured in every major publication, newspaper, national magazine, and television magazine.

From 20/20, Hard Copy, and Dateline NBC, to the N.Y. times, and the American Journal of Modern Medicine.


Heh. Hard Copy. Whee.


Many independent research institutes have conducted studies on the benefits of Androstenone (You may have heard about the most recent study on CNN.) Researchers at the University of Kentucky found that women exposed to pictures of men that had been sprayed with Androstenone found the men far more sexually attractive than the photos of men that had not been treated.


So strong that one of its vectors include sight.


Androstenone: Human Pheromone

In one study, Androstenone was put through an eight week double blind placebo controlled scientific study. The results were incredible! Single men who were using Androstenone, reported suddenly being approached by women in public, women making eye contact, initiating conversations, etc. Not surprisingly, they were found to have sex far more often than the men who were not using Androstenone.


I assume an "eight week double blind placebo controlled scientific study" is infinitely better than just a plain old boring "controlled scientific study." Silly me.


In another reported experiment, twin brothers were used in testing. Only one of the twins was sprayed with the actual pheromones. Women found the brother wearing the actual Androstenone concentrate, far more sexually attractive than the other. Now, remember these were identical twins. But time and again, the women found the twin wearing the human pheromone more attractive hands down.


Androstenone. Not only does it turn women into drooling sex slaves, it also breaks up families.

[snip]


Without changing anything about your presentation, women will suddenly be far more receptive to your advances.


Gosh, thank you. I just knew I was barking up the wrong tree by being polite and having a sense of humor. Now I can dispense with all that civilized frippery and get down to the humping.


Sold in stores for $ 99.95 a bottle ( and WELL worth that!) we can offer it to you directly for only $ 78.95!! EVEN BETTER! As part of this promotion, if you buy 3 bottles we'll throw in a 4th one FOR FREE! That's right! Buy 3 get 1 free!


Yes, you too can buy 4 bottles of snake oil for the low, low price of $240!!!!!


ACT NOW !!


Just thought I'd spread some of the pain. :-) I suppose you could introduce this thread as being about weird, fucked up spam you've gotten over the years. I actually save copies of mine.
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Old 04-11-2001, 06:51 AM
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slortar espouses
Quote:
...weird, fucked up spam you've gotten over the years.
On toast. With pineapple sauce.
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Old 04-11-2001, 06:59 AM
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Hey, slortar!


Quote:
Stand back, ladies. I've got SEX PHEROMONES
I don't think getting them to stand back was the intended effect.
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Old 04-11-2001, 08:43 AM
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Re: Hey, slortar!


Quote:
Originally posted by AHunter3
Quote:
Stand back, ladies. I've got SEX PHEROMONES
I don't think getting them to stand back was the intended effect.

One at a time, one at a time. I don't want to be mobbed just because my mere presence now causes uncontrollable, wild lust in all members of the opposite sex, now that I'm completely doused in sex pheromone oil.
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Old 04-11-2001, 10:00 AM
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Well I actually tried the stuff....


Ok it was a featured auction on E-bay in the weird section and it was cheap and I was curious. I am married so I don't need to attract women but like is said I was curious.

So I get it at work and I put some on. Now I have my own office so there aren't any women walking around so I decide to go get lunch.

I get to the elevator and there are theses two women from another office on the same floor. I have seen them in the halls and in the elevator for about 6 months and have never exchanged words with them.

In the elevator one of them asks what colonge I'm wearing. Is it Canoe? Yeah that's it. Oh I just luuuuvvvee Canoe and the other comments how great it smelled.

I never put it on again but I am convinced that it works.

Your results may vary.
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Old 04-11-2001, 10:19 AM
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mmmmmmmmmmmm - just the thought of all those pherommone-laced stud-muffins out there is making me wild with desire!!
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Old 04-11-2001, 10:33 AM
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As a slight hijack, researchers are finding that phermones do influence human behavior and apparently women are more somewhat more sensitive to phermone signals than men are although very recent research indicates that men can detect when a woman is ovulating.

The nature of phermone attraction to some extent is the womans ability to "smell" potential genetic fitness in a prospective partner. This would (logically I suppose) be more important for a woman to determine as biologically her physical investment in child rearing is much higher than a mans.

http://www.msnbc.com/news/452124.asp
Genetic clues to human pheromones
Newfound gene may be linked to triggers for primal urges

"Scientists have identified the first human gene that may be linked to pheromones, odorless molecules that in other animals trigger primal urges including sex, defense and kinship. Experts describe the discovery as possibly opening a new door into the role of pheromones in human development"

etc etc
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Old 04-11-2001, 10:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by slortar
For the first time, in the late 80s, researchers were able to successfully isolate the human pheromone, Androstenone, found in human sweat. Scientists in Israel have recently found a way to synthetically reproduce this naturally occurring aphrodisiac in the laboratory. bolding mine
Ha! I sweat like a racehorse and it never did me any good. Or not very often, anyway.

Of course, I'm married now, so I don't have to sweat it any more. <--(This pun included at no extra charge)
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Old 04-11-2001, 11:49 AM
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Actually, that's pretty interesting. Still I doubt I'd ever get desperate enough to fork over that much, especially when beer goggles work just as well. :-D I automatically filed it away in the same category as that one spam for the book that taught you how to pick up the baddest girl at the party with a "bad boy approach." How do I get on these lists anyway?

Not that I'd ever be able to test the hormone theory: between my nose having been broken a few too many times and having a cold 9 months out of the year, I have the scent sensing capabilities of a rock.
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Old 04-12-2001, 08:40 AM
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You can get for about 10 bucks on Ebay. http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI...item=579009511



It's all in the name of science!
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