Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-09-2017, 01:11 PM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
So I have prostate cancer

Just diagnosed. T1c, gleason 7 (3+4). It's apparently contained so I'm told very curable. However, treatment can (note the qualifier) leave a man permanently impotent and can cause permanent urinary incontinence. In fact as I understand it, you get both for sure then maybe recover. Or not.

Obviously I need to find a surgeon (if I do surgery) or oncologist (if I opt for radiation instead) with a lot of experience and a track record of good outcomes. I have no idea how I'm going to do that. I'm going to talk to one of each next week on referral from my urologist, but I will def need to shop more. I'm 55 (and told I look 10 years younger), fit, single and sexually active, and not ready to give up sex. I told GF yesterday, and she instantly broke up with me.

I'll also have to get the RV meth lab set up. Luckily I already have an evil goatee.

Last edited by squeegee; 12-09-2017 at 01:11 PM.
  #2  
Old 12-09-2017, 01:22 PM
Sunny Daze Sunny Daze is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 9,084
I'm getting that some parts of this are a reference to Breaking Bad, but I don't know how much is. Assuming the cancer diagnosis is real, I am sorry to hear it. If you need help finding specialists, sing out. You live in an area with a lot of resources. Between the various Bay Area folks, we should be able to get you some good referrals.
  #3  
Old 12-09-2017, 01:45 PM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
No, not a joke thread. For real
  #4  
Old 12-09-2017, 02:15 PM
Helena330 Helena330 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Near Seattle, WA, USA
Posts: 3,199
I can't believe your girlfriend broke up with you. What a bitch. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this.
  #5  
Old 12-09-2017, 02:47 PM
ThelmaLou ThelmaLou is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Neither here nor there
Posts: 12,812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
I can't believe your girlfriend broke up with you. What a bitch. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this.
Are you serious?? Holy crap. You're well rid of her.

Go to sites like vitals.com and healthgrades.com and look for doctors who have high ratings. Is there a major cancer treatment center anywhere near you? If you have a local message board like city-data, you can ask there. Whoever diagnosed you may have some recommendations. Don't hesitate to ask questions like crazy, and to get a second opinion. Don't be rushed into anything.

Do a lot of reading and get informed. One way to get informed is message boards. Here's one on prostate cancer sponsored by the American Cancer Society. I spent a fair amount of time at their breast cancer forum a couple of years ago. It's very helpful to read other people's stories and see how they approached treatment. Did I mention don't let anyone rush you? You have time to make a good, informed decision. There's a wealth of information out there. It's a new world with a new language that you're entering, but millions of others have gone before so take advantage.

[/mom-type lecture]

All the best to you!
  #6  
Old 12-09-2017, 02:50 PM
mixdenny mixdenny is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Cleveland suburbs
Posts: 1,183
I had a diagnosis 12 years ago of Gleason 5, I think (early stage and slow growth). I opted for the radioactive seed implant, Brachytherapy. Things have gone very well. Cancer is completely gone, PSA is 0. It took a year or so for scar tissue to cause any problems in regards to ED. Viagra helps quite a bit. Not completely, since you're talking physical blocking of blood vessels.

Dennis
  #7  
Old 12-09-2017, 03:09 PM
Sunny Daze Sunny Daze is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 9,084
I'll ask around Stanford for recommendations for you.
  #8  
Old 12-09-2017, 04:09 PM
harmonicamoon harmonicamoon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Yucatan, Mexico
Posts: 2,594
Gleason 7 (3x5) is not good news. I recommend you have your slides sent to prostrate specific lab for another look.

Mine was a Gleason 7. This lab took another look and I was given a 6 (3x3). The Gleason scale is exponential. So, a six score made the difference to accept the watchful surveillance.

The risks of the knife and radiation weren't an option.
  #9  
Old 12-09-2017, 04:49 PM
WordMan WordMan is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 22,158
Sorry to hear, including your gf's move. That stinks.

I will follow up via PM about the support group in the area.
  #10  
Old 12-09-2017, 04:54 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 9,703
Many hugs to you and yours. I'm dealing with a comparable diagnosis myself, so I understand on some level.

Your ex-GF did you a big favor in the long run.
  #11  
Old 12-09-2017, 05:04 PM
Chronos Chronos is offline
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 75,938
Any girlfriend who would leave you over something like this is someone you're better off without, anyway.

I'm not familiar with the Gleason scale, but many prostate cancers are so slow-growing that no treatment at all is needed. Make sure you look into that.
  #12  
Old 12-09-2017, 05:09 PM
Helena330 Helena330 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Near Seattle, WA, USA
Posts: 3,199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
Any girlfriend who would leave you over something like this is someone you're better off without, anyway.

I'm not familiar with the Gleason scale, but many prostate cancers are so slow-growing that no treatment at all is needed. Make sure you look into that.
I know next to nothing about prostate cancer, but in one of my classes we learned that many times the "cure" is worse than just living with it and that many people with prostate cancer die of something else. This could be for an older demographic, but I agree, look into not treating it, as well.
  #13  
Old 12-09-2017, 06:42 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Southeast Florida USA
Posts: 21,035
Not too much to add. You have an issue that demands thoughtful attention, but it's not a screaming emergency. Do the due diligence diligently for best outcome.

Good luck & keep up in the loop.

I know a woman whose husband left her in the middle of her cancer treatment. "Sorry, I don't want to deal with your sickness any more" were his parting words. Better you lost the GF now, even if the best treatment option turns out to be watching.
  #14  
Old 12-09-2017, 08:12 PM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
Thanks all for the replies. So nobody does curly-brace hugs any more? ;-)

I didn't mean to stoke internet rage at my now-ex. I get it: this isn't what she signed up for. Hell, it isn't what I signed up for.

So yes, I agree with posters who advise proceeding deliberately. I've been chasing this diagnosis since 2014, so I'm already on that treadmill, skepticism shields are up. Hell, I did this 3rd biopsy after one inconclusive and one negative biopsy just to finally shut up my urologist. I did not expect a diagnosis in the least. And my urologist is one of those "take action!" guys, and I refuse to be stampeded. Cautious, thoughtful shopping is my watchword. I'm just not sure how to finally shop now that I need to. Thanks to the posters who provided links which I will surely follow!

Thank you in advance, Sunny Daze for any info if you ask around. And thank you mixdenny for a good outcome (right?) tale. Harmonicmoon's suggestion of a 2nd pathologist review is not one I would have thought of, will pursue that. nearwildheaven, my thoughts are with you as you deal with your diagnosis. Helena330, I'm right there with you re: not treating at all, and again I plan to proceed judiciously.

I have something like 2 months vacation saved up, I plan to travel over Christmas to Europe before I do something involving treatment, maybe make some memories. A shame it's wintertime, Paris is 40's and raining, but Barcelona and Athens are nice even now, so what the hell.

Last edited by squeegee; 12-09-2017 at 08:14 PM.
  #15  
Old 12-09-2017, 09:12 PM
E-DUB E-DUB is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,475
I'm currently reading "Endurance" by Scott Kelly, the astronaut who recently spent close to a year on ISS. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer as well. Had the entire prostate removed. Did not indicate if he had either of the "side effects" you list. Just letting you know for whatever it's worth. (His twin brother, Mark, got himself checked and had it as well.)
  #16  
Old 12-09-2017, 09:19 PM
TriPolar TriPolar is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: rhode island
Posts: 38,137
So very sorry to hear about this. It must be awful for you right now. I really hope things will turn out for the best. Fuckin' prostates man! You get all the fun parts to play with for so long and then something you can't even see turns on you.
  #17  
Old 12-09-2017, 11:40 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: on your last raw nerve
Posts: 18,569
Quote:
Originally Posted by squeegee View Post
I told GF yesterday, and she instantly broke up with me.
Good for her! She did you a favor!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunny Daze View Post
I'll ask around Stanford for recommendations for you.
My old man got treatment for this at Stanford (and he went to Cal! ) and wound up beating it.

Keeled over from Melanoma shorty after. Cancer always wins. And in winning, it dies. Almost fucking Zen, isn't it?
  #18  
Old 12-10-2017, 08:14 AM
jz78817 jz78817 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Under Oveur & over Unger
Posts: 11,072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
I know next to nothing about prostate cancer, but in one of my classes we learned that many times the "cure" is worse than just living with it and that many people with prostate cancer die of something else. This could be for an older demographic, but I agree, look into not treating it, as well.
the two common things I've heard from various MDs:

1) if you're a man and you live long enough, you will develop prostate cancer, and
2) most men die with prostate cancer and not from it.
  #19  
Old 12-10-2017, 08:50 AM
Jonathan Chance Jonathan Chance is offline
Domo Arigato Mister Moderato
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: On the run with Kilroy
Posts: 21,007
Dude, I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it all goes well for you. Chin up and persevere.
  #20  
Old 12-10-2017, 08:56 AM
DesertDog DesertDog is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Mesa, Ariz.
Posts: 3,836
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
I can't believe your girlfriend broke up with you. What a bitch. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this.
Really. Was she afraid she'd get cancer cells ejected into her or something?
  #21  
Old 12-10-2017, 09:00 AM
Sicks Ate Sicks Ate is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: KS, US
Posts: 5,675
Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertDog View Post
Really. Was she afraid she'd get cancer cells ejected into her or something?
"It's not contagious, I tell you!", squeegee ejaculated.
  #22  
Old 12-10-2017, 09:45 AM
Broomstick Broomstick is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 26,265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
I can't believe your girlfriend broke up with you. What a bitch. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this.
After the Cancer Incident in my own household last year I can believe it. It's not just girl/boyfriends - the spouse's oncologist's office had adult protective services on their phone list because, apparently, they had had patients abandoned by entire families. People undergoing chemo who were never picked up, whose "loved ones" never returned for them after the treatment.

I get it - it's scary and exhausting and all sorts of bad. I just can't understand on a gut level abandoning someone like that. Yet people do.
  #23  
Old 12-10-2017, 10:02 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Southeast Florida USA
Posts: 21,035
If somebody approaches a relationship as just a transaction, it makes a selfish sort of sense to scram at any major trouble.

There's a big difference between "I love you for being you" and "I say 'I love you' but I actually only love what you do for me."

As any number of threads on dating, marriage, harassment, divorce and all the rest show, one heck of a lot of people think in terms of the latter. We've got 4 active threads right now swirling around this point in various ways.

This doesn't excuse the reality, but it does illuminate it.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 12-10-2017 at 10:03 AM.
  #24  
Old 12-10-2017, 10:47 AM
El_Kabong El_Kabong is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Smack Dab in the Middle
Posts: 14,515
I was diagnosed four years ago with about the same parameters as the OP. Elected radiation treatment and so far so good. PSA is not zero but is low and has been declining at each checkup. ED was the main side effect; annoying but I can certainly live with it. No major incontinence problems, but now when I've got to go, I've got to go immediately. By way of contrast, younger brother had same condition and elected surgery; had a lengthy recovery time and was totally incontinent for about three years afterward.

Last edited by El_Kabong; 12-10-2017 at 10:51 AM.
  #25  
Old 12-10-2017, 11:11 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Southeast Florida USA
Posts: 21,035
Good to hear of a good outcome starting from from a late counterattack. Congrats and best of luck for the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by El_Kabong View Post
...
ED was the main side effect; annoying but I can certainly live with it.
...
At the risk of TMI, do you mean "annoying" as in "Not as good as it used to be but Viagra mostly fixes that" or annoying as in "It flat don't work, but I'm old enough that doesn't much matter."

Or as in "MYOB you nosy jerk!"

I ask because while I don't have an immediate problem this is probably in my future before age 70.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 12-10-2017 at 11:12 AM.
  #26  
Old 12-10-2017, 11:27 AM
Plumpudding Plumpudding is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,316
Quote:
Originally Posted by squeegee View Post
Just diagnosed. T1c, gleason 7 (3+4). It's apparently contained so I'm told very curable. However, treatment can (note the qualifier) leave a m upan permanently impotent and can cause permanent urinary incontinence. In fact as I understand it, you get both for sure then maybe recover. Or not.

Obviously I need to find a surgeon (if I do surgery) or oncologist (if I opt for radiation instead) with a lot of experience and a track record of good outcomes. I have no idea how I'm going to do that. I'm going to talk to one of each next week on referral from my urologist, but I will def need to shop more. I'm 55 (and told I look 10 years younger), fit, single and sexually active, and not ready to give up sex. I told GF yesterday, and she instantly broke up with me.

I'll also have to get the RV meth lab set up. Luckily I already have an evil goatee.
I was about to say it's good that it's very curable and that a longer life might be more important than sex. But damn, sucks about your GF! That's damn cold.

I hope things work out and that you retain your potency and continence, fingers crossed.
  #27  
Old 12-10-2017, 11:39 AM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
Good to hear of a good outcome starting from from a late counterattack. Congrats and best of luck for the future.At the risk of TMI, do you mean "annoying" as in "Not as good as it used to be but Viagra mostly fixes that" or annoying as in "It flat don't work, but I'm old enough that doesn't much matter."
Of course I'm wondering the same thing if El_Kabong feels like sharing.
  #28  
Old 12-10-2017, 12:21 PM
Nightfall1 Nightfall1 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 153
Hi Squeegee,
I'm 64 now, I was 59 when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I was given all the choices and I chose surgery. I have the type of personality that said if I had cancer cut it out NOW. The doctor was trained in the use of The DaVinci Machine. It's a robotic surgical system. My second opinion doctor was a personal friend. He said that was the best choice for me and the doctor that was going to do the operation was the best in the country.
I was worried about not being able to have sexual relations with my wife anymore and leaking urine all the time. The doctor said those were the two most asked questions he got from his patients. He told me with the DaVinci Machine the odds were REALLY on my side that I could still have sexual relations. He told me I would have to wear a pad for urine leakage for a while but it WOULD get better. He was right on both counts.I did leak urine after the operation. Whenever I would laugh or have a sudden movement to the left or right or bend down in the garden I would leak. I wore the pad for 10 months. I could have stopped wearing it after 9 months but I was worried so 10 months it was.
I had the operation at 7am on one day, stayed the night in the hospital for one night and then went home. I had a catheter for 8 days and was off of work for 6 weeks. I couldn't lift anything more than 5 pounds for the six weeks. He said I could walk 100 miles a day if I wanted to but no lifting. When I went back to work I could lift any amount of weight with no problem, I do lift weights at the YMCA for exercise.
I do take Viagra now. It's not like I'm 18 years old anymore but I'm not dead either.
  #29  
Old 12-10-2017, 12:25 PM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
If somebody approaches a relationship as just a transaction, it makes a selfish sort of sense to scram at any major trouble.

There's a big difference between "I love you for being you" and "I say 'I love you' but I actually only love what you do for me."

As any number of threads on dating, marriage, harassment, divorce and all the rest show, one heck of a lot of people think in terms of the latter. We've got 4 active threads right now swirling around this point in various ways.

This doesn't excuse the reality, but it does illuminate it.
I suppose I'm a bit inured to it. I lost nearly all my friends in my 2014 divorce. I had a woman text me a break-up the day my father died. There's only so much outrage to be had before you just keep looking forward.
  #30  
Old 12-10-2017, 12:35 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 38,910
Just a note to say hang in there. The older I get, the more I expect something like this to happen to me.
__________________
Carpe diem! But first, coffee.
  #31  
Old 12-10-2017, 12:38 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Southeast Florida USA
Posts: 21,035
Ouch!! Sorry to hear you've been through that many wringers.

There's an administrator at the oncology practice I frequent. A hand-made sign in her office says "Don't look back. That's not where you're going."

There are times and situations to scan the whole horizon. And times to fix your gaze dead ahead and trudge dutifully forward ignoring the explosions on all sides. Part of surviving is knowing when to do which.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 12-10-2017 at 12:39 PM.
  #32  
Old 12-10-2017, 01:01 PM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightfall1 View Post
Hi Squeegee,
I'm 64 now, I was 59 when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I was given all the choices and I chose surgery. I have the type of personality that said if I had cancer cut it out NOW. The doctor was trained in the use of The DaVinci Machine. It's a robotic surgical system. My second opinion doctor was a personal friend. He said that was the best choice for me and the doctor that was going to do the operation was the best in the country.
I was worried about not being able to have sexual relations with my wife anymore and leaking urine all the time. The doctor said those were the two most asked questions he got from his patients. He told me with the DaVinci Machine the odds were REALLY on my side that I could still have sexual relations. He told me I would have to wear a pad for urine leakage for a while but it WOULD get better. He was right on both counts.I did leak urine after the operation. Whenever I would laugh or have a sudden movement to the left or right or bend down in the garden I would leak. I wore the pad for 10 months. I could have stopped wearing it after 9 months but I was worried so 10 months it was.
I had the operation at 7am on one day, stayed the night in the hospital for one night and then went home. I had a catheter for 8 days and was off of work for 6 weeks. I couldn't lift anything more than 5 pounds for the six weeks. He said I could walk 100 miles a day if I wanted to but no lifting. When I went back to work I could lift any amount of weight with no problem, I do lift weights at the YMCA for exercise.
I do take Viagra now. It's not like I'm 18 years old anymore but I'm not dead either.
Thanks for the good outcome tale, and lots of details on how it went, Nightfall1! If you have a doctor's name or other contact info you are comfortable sharing, please PM me. If they are not in my area or network, good doctors also know other good doctors in their specialty. Thanks in advance!!
  #33  
Old 12-10-2017, 01:26 PM
Nightfall1 Nightfall1 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 153
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Da_Vinci_Surgical_System

Google Dr. Michael Fumo MD Urologist Rockford Illinois
  #34  
Old 12-10-2017, 02:01 PM
OttoDaFe OttoDaFe is offline
Head Blue Meanie
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Soviet of Washington
Posts: 2,390
Regarding Nightfall1 (he's already been quoted once, no need to take up more space), add a few years to the age and you've pretty much got me. I forget what the Gleason score was — it was nine years ago — but I do recall the urologist telling me that based on a post-op biopsy of the tumor it definitely would have killed me. The first outward symptom would have been intense and intractable lower back pain, and it would have been downhill from there. So despite the (mostly-true) adage that men die with prostate cancer rather than from it, it ain't necessarily so.

Immediate post-op was almost identical. Only memorable incident was my first night home: the adhesive clamp that was supposed to keep the catheter tube attached to my leg came loose, so when the bag fell off the bed it jerked … everything … off to the side. If I never again wake to that sensation it will be fine with me.

Long term isn't quite so positive, but bear in mind that a) I'm older, and b) I've been significantly overweight most of my life. I'm aware that there are multiple approaches to ED, but my life situation is such that I don't see any point in availing myself of them; and as far as incontinence goes, 99.5% of the time there isn't an issue at all — but like El_Kabong, when I gotta go, I gotta go now (or very soon), and sometimes I'm not in a position to. So I wear a pad that most days I throw away unused.

Sorry about the ramble, but I figure that if nothing else, hearing multiple (non-horror) stories may help turn your situation from a bogeyman to something that can be approached with a clear mind. So hang in there: we've beaten this, you will too.
  #35  
Old 12-10-2017, 05:31 PM
El_Kabong El_Kabong is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Smack Dab in the Middle
Posts: 14,515
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
At the risk of TMI, do you mean "annoying" as in "Not as good as it used to be but Viagra mostly fixes that" or annoying as in "It flat don't work, but I'm old enough that doesn't much matter."

Or as in "MYOB you nosy jerk!"

I ask because while I don't have an immediate problem this is probably in my future before age 70.
No worries. "Not as good as it used to be" pretty much nails it. Specifically, seemingly no, er, reaction to stimulus for quite some time until all of a sudden, in like 30 seconds...

Haven't ever tried Viagra.
  #36  
Old 12-10-2017, 06:22 PM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
Quote:
Originally Posted by El_Kabong View Post
Haven't ever tried Viagra.
Dude. It's the bomb. Trust me on this. Depends on the day, but it can be like being 20 again.

Thanks much for clarifying!!!

Last edited by squeegee; 12-10-2017 at 06:24 PM.
  #37  
Old 12-10-2017, 07:50 PM
Biggirl Biggirl is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Right here
Posts: 18,132
Quote:
Originally Posted by Broomstick View Post
After the Cancer Incident in my own household last year I can believe it. It's not just girl/boyfriends - the spouse's oncologist's office had adult protective services on their phone list because, apparently, they had had patients abandoned by entire families. People undergoing chemo who were never picked up, whose "loved ones" never returned for them after the treatment.

I get it - it's scary and exhausting and all sorts of bad. I just can't understand on a gut level abandoning someone like that. Yet people do.
Really, Broomstick? Really?

Last edited by Biggirl; 12-10-2017 at 07:50 PM.
  #38  
Old 12-10-2017, 08:08 PM
Hector_St_Clare Hector_St_Clare is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 3,638
Quote:
Originally Posted by squeegee View Post
Thanks all for the replies. So nobody does curly-brace hugs any more? ;-)

I didn't mean to stoke internet rage at my now-ex. I get it: this isn't what she signed up for. Hell, it isn't what I signed up for.
Sorry about you're ex girlfriend, but you're right, she does deserve to be happy. This is a very honorable, charitable and mature approach you're taking though, and it's really admirable: I hope that I'd be equally kind to my ex if I was in your situation.

I'm been looking up a bit about prostate health issues (I don't have cancer, but I do currently have some persistent inflammation issues which are really miserable to deal with). It sounds like the modern they have of dealing with prostate issues (infections, non-infectious inflammation, enlargement and cancer) are all much more advanced than what they had a couple decades ago. There are methods which *shouldn't* interfere with urination, erection or orgasm, at least in the long term. Fingers crossed, of course.

Best of luck with your situation, thoughts and prayers with you.
  #39  
Old 12-10-2017, 08:31 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Southeast Florida USA
Posts: 21,035
Ok, since everybody else is ignoring the obvious, I'll step up.

{{{ squeegee }}} with two firm manly claps on the back.

You've certainly earned your hugs. And I say that as a manly-man, not a girly-man, as Aahnold once explained it to us all.

This isn't easy. It's harder by yourself. Ultimately, each of us is the only inhabitant of our body and there's no fixing that. Wherever it takes us, that's where we go. But none of us are alone. Hugs.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 12-10-2017 at 08:32 PM.
  #40  
Old 12-10-2017, 10:40 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 38,910
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
{{{ squeegee }}} with two firm manly claps on the back.
Watch out with those hugs. He is primed with Viagra, ya know.
__________________
Carpe diem! But first, coffee.
  #41  
Old 12-10-2017, 11:07 PM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
Thanks, LSLGuy the for curly-brace embrace! Very manly. I totally didn't grab your ass.

Seriously: best wishes are a blessing, and thanks humbly for yours.
  #42  
Old 12-11-2017, 04:12 PM
Andrew 21 Andrew 21 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 246
Squeegee, there are several possible options (radiation, surgery, active surveillance). Research them all before making a decision.

Your situation is similar to mine. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in September of last year. My Gleason score was 7. In March, I had the robotic surgery. So far, my experience has been similar to Nightfall1’s.
  #43  
Old 12-11-2017, 09:09 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 9,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggirl View Post
Really, Broomstick? Really?
I never worked at a place that did pediatric oncology, but it happens there, too.
  #44  
Old 12-11-2017, 09:17 PM
ThelmaLou ThelmaLou is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Neither here nor there
Posts: 12,812
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearwildheaven View Post
I never worked at a place that did pediatric oncology, but it happens there, too.
What?!? You mean parents abandon their sick children? Oh God, tell me it isn't so...
  #45  
Old 12-11-2017, 10:43 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 9,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThelmaLou View Post
What?!? You mean parents abandon their sick children? Oh God, tell me it isn't so...
Yep, and not just the stereotype of the father who "can't handle it" and walks away. BOTH parents, or in some cases they use the hospital as a very expensive babysitter and go out partying while the child is undergoing treatments, or any number of other family dysfunctions that are exposed when a child becomes seriously ill.
  #46  
Old 12-11-2017, 11:47 PM
ThelmaLou ThelmaLou is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Neither here nor there
Posts: 12,812
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearwildheaven View Post
Yep, and not just the stereotype of the father who "can't handle it" and walks away. BOTH parents, or in some cases they use the hospital as a very expensive babysitter and go out partying while the child is undergoing treatments, or any number of other family dysfunctions that are exposed when a child becomes seriously ill.
Jesus wept.
  #47  
Old 12-12-2017, 07:51 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Southeast Florida USA
Posts: 21,035
Humanity is god's idea of a practical joke. And he has a really sick sense of humor.

Returning to the topic at hand, squeegee's calls for info and friends.

A lot of the support stuff at oncology practices is aimed at women because a) breast cancer is so prevalent and so well advertised, and b) women are the more social gender, whether by nature or nurture.

The end result is a lot of the available group support can run from tinged with pink to blazing, eyeball-frying PINK. Which can be off-putting to men who're just as scared and just as at-risk for debility and death as are the ladies. Or worse yet, the women adopt the support group as a "safe space" women's club where men are unwelcome interlopers by definition.

Humans are weird. Contrary to some clichés, stress and extreme situations do not (generally) bring out the best in people. More typically it's just more of the usual, but turned up to eleventy-eleven. Plus an increasing dollop of abject dysfunction as each participant reaches their personal breaking point.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 12-12-2017 at 07:54 AM.
  #48  
Old 12-12-2017, 08:43 AM
ThelmaLou ThelmaLou is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Neither here nor there
Posts: 12,812
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
...A lot of the support stuff at oncology practices is aimed at women because a) breast cancer is so prevalent and so well advertised, and b) women are the more social gender, whether by nature or nurture.....
This looks like a potential source of support and info on prostate cancer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThelmaLou View Post
One way to get informed is message boards. Here's one on prostate cancer sponsored by the American Cancer Society. ...
I also get tired of all pink all the time and I've had breast cancer.
  #49  
Old 12-12-2017, 10:59 AM
squeegee squeegee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Gilroy CA
Posts: 8,597
So I've been put in touch with a prostate cancer group in the next county, and I talked with the extremely nice, knowledgeable and helpful woman who has been involved with that group since 1994, and now runs it. She has put me in touch with one of the two doctors also long involved with that group, and I'm scheduled for a second opinion consult with him next Thursday.

As I understand it, this new urologist would reevaluate my diagnosis and direct me to more doctors at Stanford to seek whatever procedure I might need. Which all sounds like exactly what I should seek: more information, more advice, more choices.

And this raises my comfort level as well; I personally like my current urologist, but his office is unresponsive and has failed me in the past when I need even some basic things. When I did my 3rd biopsy a couple weeks ago, it took five days of calling them with no callbacks to finally find out that, yes, I would be under general anesthesia, yes I would need a ride home from the hospital, yes I would need 1-3 days off of work, yes I need blood work done that day for the procedure the following week. Five days. </rant>
  #50  
Old 12-12-2017, 11:24 AM
harmonicamoon harmonicamoon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Yucatan, Mexico
Posts: 2,594
My experience was the urologists wanted to use their knives.

The oncologists wanted to use radiation.

I didn't like the risks of either. I would have a tough time adapting to a life without ejaculations.

That is when I contacted a NP. And he suggested sending the biopsy slides to the prostrate specific lab for another look.

As I mentioned earlier, the Stilson was reduced from a 7 to a 6. Which means it was less active. So, I decided to do the active surveillance game.

The biopsy was in 2008. No symptoms. Life is beautiful.

One thing I wish I had asked the urologist that did the biopsy was, what is the protocol for protecting the names and specimens? Was there a mix-up?

Keep gathering data. No need to rush into anything.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:32 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017