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Old 12-13-2017, 04:14 PM
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We send a message to the aliens. What's the creepiest thing they could send back?


Inspired by the news that an unusually shaped asteroid will be monitored for signs of alien life. Suppose someone's taken up Active SETI, a signal sent out into the cosmos to attempt to contact extraterrestrial life. What's the creepiest reply we could get?

Mine -
SPOILER:
Help.
or
WE KNOW.
  #2  
Old 12-13-2017, 04:15 PM
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I think they already did, and he just lost an election in Alabama.
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:26 PM
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"Shhhhhh! Are you crazy? They'll hear you!"
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:30 PM
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A tinny little electronic tune plays as a synthesized voice says "Level Complete".
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:31 PM
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"Hold on. Believe us, we're getting to you..."

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Old 12-13-2017, 04:37 PM
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I was going to say "alien dick pics", but that's too easy.

Instead, I would if they sent back Jesus pics that would give me the chilliest of willies.
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:42 PM
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"Your planet is SO wet, It's making me hard. Can't wait to penetrate your atmosphere!"

Last edited by Grrr!; 12-13-2017 at 04:42 PM.
  #8  
Old 12-13-2017, 04:42 PM
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"Send nudes."

Oh wait, we already have.

Last edited by Mr. Kobayashi; 12-13-2017 at 04:42 PM.
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:10 PM
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"Take us to your leader. It is still Mickey mouse isn't it?"
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:12 PM
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Quote:
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"Take us to your leader. It is still Mickey mouse isn't it?"
We wish!
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:12 PM
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All circuits are busy now. Please hang up and try your call again later. Message 312.
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:19 PM
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We would like to get a signed copy of How to Serve Humans.
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:24 PM
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:24 PM
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:24 PM
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Dammit! Why aren't you people atomized? We fired the disintegration ray two weeks ago; it should've been there by now!
  #16  
Old 12-13-2017, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
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"Send nudes."

Oh wait, we already have.
I'll be in my bunk.
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:30 PM
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"I am the last person alive on this planet. I just heard a knock on the door."
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:32 PM
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Quote:
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"Send nudes."

Oh wait, we already have.
A drawing of those figures being eaten by something larger. Or with an accurate representation of internal anatomy drawn in.

Last edited by Yllaria; 12-13-2017 at 05:33 PM.
  #19  
Old 12-13-2017, 05:33 PM
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Earth Girls are Easy
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:41 PM
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The Truth is out HERE.
  #21  
Old 12-13-2017, 05:42 PM
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We are two Wild and Crazy planets wishing to visit you and your foxy women soon. Please be to have birth control devices ready for upcoming visit in nearest future!
  #22  
Old 12-13-2017, 05:49 PM
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Quote:
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We would like to get a signed copy of How to Serve Humans.
Nitpick: The book title was "To Serve Man".

As for the OP, the creepiest message would be,"There is baseball in Heaven and you'll be pitching next Tuesday"
  #23  
Old 12-13-2017, 05:52 PM
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Why does It have to be creepy?


"Thank you for calling the Far'nurl'Lari Interstellar Collective! All operators are currently busy, but let us help you help us direct your call to the appropriate department!

For scientific advice, please press 1; for cultural uplift, please press 2; if you need to schedule a technical representative for a planetary service call, please press 3; for all other inquiries, please press 4."
  #24  
Old 12-13-2017, 06:30 PM
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Does human flesh go best with white wine or red ...
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:31 PM
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  #26  
Old 12-13-2017, 06:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Majestic Lee View Post
"Take us to your leader. It is still Mickey mouse isn't it?"
No, Goofy.

Sorry, it was just to perfect a line to let pass.


On to the topic at hand, the creepiest I can imagine is: NO

Nothing else, no explanation or anything else, just...NO
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:35 PM
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"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!"
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:36 PM
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
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"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!"
You should know Marvin. Any family due for a visit?
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:40 PM
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:50 PM
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Incurable, uber-gruesome alien disease.
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:54 PM
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NM. Ninja'd.

Last edited by cochrane; 12-13-2017 at 06:55 PM.
  #33  
Old 12-13-2017, 07:52 PM
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Old 12-13-2017, 07:54 PM
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Creepiest thing they could send back? Deadly nanotech.
  #35  
Old 12-13-2017, 08:07 PM
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Glad to hear our long-term seeding program has produced a Class IV species. The first armada will arrive shortly to begin the optimisation phase. Please pre-select the 2% of humans who will be allowed to procreate (all others will be exported as protein supplements).
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Old 12-13-2017, 08:08 PM
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"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?"

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Old 12-13-2017, 08:43 PM
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This time of year, "Would you please send a small donation"
  #38  
Old 12-13-2017, 08:46 PM
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Kardashians
  #39  
Old 12-13-2017, 09:19 PM
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It could hardly be any creepier than the first televised broadcasts that we beamed to them.
  #40  
Old 12-13-2017, 09:34 PM
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Almost anything involving Scientologists.
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Old 12-13-2017, 09:44 PM
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Old 12-13-2017, 09:47 PM
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An eviction notice - Vogon constructor fleet is coming.
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  #43  
Old 12-13-2017, 10:01 PM
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"U up?"
  #44  
Old 12-13-2017, 10:56 PM
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"We've been sending that signal for years, and we just got a reply."
"What did it say?"
"'If you don't turn that bloody noise off, we're gonna come over there and do it for you.' In the 81 most common languages."
"Do we know where it came from?"
"Barnard's star, six light years away."
"And we're still sending? They're going to get six more years of our signal?"
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  #45  
Old 12-13-2017, 11:16 PM
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Old 12-13-2017, 11:23 PM
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  #47  
Old 12-13-2017, 11:54 PM
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"You should have stayed silent."

Last edited by Flughund4; 12-13-2017 at 11:57 PM.
  #48  
Old 12-14-2017, 12:21 AM
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"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?"

That would definitely creep me the fuck out.
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  #49  
Old 12-14-2017, 01:17 AM
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"ASL?"
  #50  
Old 12-14-2017, 05:53 AM
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"Your call is important to us . . . "
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