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Old 07-14-2018, 03:27 AM
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What set of items could you buy that would make the cashier the most uncomfortable?

I'm thinking condoms and cucumbers; or knives, a shovel, bleach, and large amounts of plastic sheeting.
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  #2  
Old 07-14-2018, 04:03 AM
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Crime scene cleanup for dummies.

Or some sort of cream for some highly infectious disease.
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Old 07-14-2018, 04:09 AM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is offline
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A gun, a hacksaw, a large pack of leak proof mailing pouches, and fifty dollars worth of stamps. And running back in because I forgot napkins.
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Old 07-14-2018, 04:11 AM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is offline
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Or:

Twenty of the big bags of Halloween candy, two cheesecakes, and a box of insulin syringes.
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Old 07-14-2018, 04:27 AM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is offline
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The longest most expensive knife in the store, rubber gloves, an adjustable mirror, and a book called Your Gall Bladder.
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Old 07-14-2018, 05:09 AM
penultima thule penultima thule is offline
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A large bottle of blue unction
  #7  
Old 07-14-2018, 05:26 AM
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I'm thinking condoms and cucumbers; or knives, a shovel, bleach, and large amounts of plastic sheeting.
I did have a guy come in the store once, and buy tarps and duct tape. And while I was ringing him up, he started looking at knives.
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Old 07-14-2018, 05:44 AM
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My uncle died in his own house back in 2003 and wasn't found for about a week. We got to cleaning the house but the smell was horrible, and we weren't sure about diseases. Also, that week, I had mild constipation. So I got to the pharmacy checkout with some laxative, rubber gloves, room deodorizer and medical masks.
  #9  
Old 07-14-2018, 06:20 AM
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I needed some ridiculous amount of bananas to make six gallons of banana wine. I weighed out bunches until I had the correct amount, then headed to pay. Being a smartass, I grabbed one box of cereal to go with my cart full of bananas.
  #10  
Old 07-14-2018, 06:28 AM
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I needed some ridiculous amount of bananas to make six gallons of banana wine. I weighed out bunches until I had the correct amount, then headed to pay. Being a smartass, I grabbed one box of cereal to go with my cart full of bananas.
Next time, rent a gorilla costume.

If you have someone record it, I'll chip in 5 bucks for the rental.


mmm
  #11  
Old 07-14-2018, 07:06 AM
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Old 07-14-2018, 07:47 AM
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I always wanted to buy Apples, razor blades, Snickers and pins on Halloween.
  #13  
Old 07-14-2018, 07:56 AM
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I always wanted to buy Apples, razor blades, Snickers and pins on Halloween.
That could get real expensive, real quick.
  #14  
Old 07-14-2018, 08:34 AM
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I was once heading to a party with a couple friends. We stopped at Safeway to pick up a bottle of vodka to bring to the party, but one of the guys in the group had some serious blister issues on his feet from the long run we had done in the morning, so he picked up a jar of vaseline. As we placed the items on the counter, we all looked at each other and said: This is not what it looks like!!

Last edited by John Mace; 07-14-2018 at 08:35 AM.
  #15  
Old 07-14-2018, 08:41 AM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is online now
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Fava beans and Chianti.
  #16  
Old 07-14-2018, 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
I needed some ridiculous amount of bananas to make six gallons of banana wine. I weighed out bunches until I had the correct amount, then headed to pay. Being a smartass, I grabbed one box of cereal to go with my cart full of bananas.
On a similar note, when I worked at a little zoo, we had a lot of small mammals and birds which wanted small quantities of meat. The cheapest and most convenient source for the quantity we needed was the budget minced beef from the local supermarket. So, twice a week, not in uniform, one or two of us would pop in after work, and buy around 30 bags- 15 kg -of minced beef. I'd normally pick up a bottle of milk, or a bar of chocolate at the same time. Sometimes I'd buy a bag of vegetarian mince for myself, just to deliberately confuse it more.

This was a pretty small town, the sort of place people stop and chat with the staff, not an inner city spot where freaks abound and no-one asks questions.

We did this for over 3 years before I finally mentioned, in front of the cashier, that the minced beef was intended for animals, and said we were from the zoo. She was so excited to hear it, they'd been discussing for years what we did with it and it was driving them nuts trying to work it out.

It takes dedication, but it turns out buying 30kg of mince every week for several years will get cashiers very confused, if maybe not uncomfortable.
  #17  
Old 07-14-2018, 09:24 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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I am a store cashier, so my real life top three list:

1. A dozen knives and a piece of carry on luggage. I thought "I hope you are not planning to take those knives on a plane."
2. Six boxes of rubber gloves and a dental mirror. I had a hard time keeping a straight face.
3. The customer came in right after we opened, bought a corkscrew that came to $4.27, put a five dollar bill on the counter and walked out without change of receipt. I wondered about a person that desperate for a corkscrew at 10 o'clock in the morning.

I doubt anything will ever top the guy who asked, in all innocence "Is it okay if I reach over and grab a couple of these double AA's?" He was talking batteries, ya perv.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 07-14-2018 at 09:28 AM.
  #18  
Old 07-14-2018, 09:35 AM
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I was on a scavenger hunt in college once where one of the items was "A receipt from a convenience store showing exactly three items: Condoms, vaseline, and bananas".

Of course, the cashier probably figured out what was going on once the eighth or tenth group went through and bought the same items.
  #19  
Old 07-14-2018, 09:42 AM
Mr. Bill Mr. Bill is offline
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Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke (that's the only place they could smoke at the nursing home) when it started to rain.

One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady Two asked, "What's that?"

Lady One replied, "A condom."

Lady Two asked, "Where'd you get it?"

Lady One replied, "You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day, Lady Two hobbled herself into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted a package of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred.

"Doesn't matter," she replied, "as long as it fits a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted...
  #20  
Old 07-14-2018, 09:44 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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I've wondered what the cashier was thinking in this instance:

"Steven Hunter walked into a Bunnings store to buy 20 litres of hydrochloric acid, three bags of rapid-set concrete, a bag of lime and a black plastic sheet after brutally murdering Sarah Cafferkey, a court has heard."

In another case, a physician recently was convicted in the "disappearance" of a nurse he was involved with. He had purchased 23 32-ounce bottles of drain cleaner and seven two-gallon boxes of muriatic acid.*

http://richmond.com/news/local/centr...de98e01f7.html

I mentioned this in another thread, but a few months after the Oklahoma City bombing I bought a large bag of fertilizer at (wait for it) a fertilizer store, and was quizzed by the clerk about what I wanted it for. Duh, for fertilizing plants? Turns out the stuff was partially ammonium nitrate-based.

*whaddaya mean, "suspicious"? The guy just had a bathtub drain that was stopped up really, really badly. And a huuuge driveway stain.

Last edited by Jackmannii; 07-14-2018 at 09:48 AM.
  #21  
Old 07-14-2018, 09:51 AM
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There's a restaurant near me that occasionally runs a special selling corn dogs two for a dollar. I've often wanted to go in and order a couple hundred of them and a large diet coke. spicy mustard on the side please.
  #22  
Old 07-14-2018, 11:14 AM
Walken After Midnight Walken After Midnight is offline
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K-Y jelly, "Beginner's Guide to Spelunking" book, GI Joe scuba diver.
  #23  
Old 07-14-2018, 12:04 PM
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Bags of candy, children’s toys, condoms, sleeping pills and duct tape might raise some eyebrows. Especially if you drive a scuzzy white fan.

When I was in college, the town I lived in had laws forbidding the sale of non-food items on Sunday - because they weren’t “necessities”. We kind of liked to torture the cashiers over this - I had a friend who would try to buy tampons just so she could engage the cashier in conversation over why this purchase really was a necessity.

I would do stuff like hit the kids toy section and try to purchase “My First Book About Jesus” or other religious themed toys. Then try to engage the cashier in a philosophical discussion over why she wouldn’t sell it to me because God.

This started when we witnessed a cashier refuse to sell a can of Play-Doh. A mother was shopping with her child, she had the cart full of groceries and the kid was in the seat at the top of the cart, holding the Play-Doh can with delighted anticipation. The kid didn’t want to give it up and went into a full crying screaming meltdown after it was forcibly taken from him. We congratulated the cashier for doing the Lord’s work.

Yeah, we were kind of being dicks, because the cashier was doing the “right” thing in the eyes of the law. But this was in the pre-computer era, so it wasn’t like the registers were programmed not to ring non-food items or to track purchases. And we sometimes got the stuff. One of the cashiers rang up one of the religious toys once without any hesitation - probably because she knew we were playing with her and making us actually spend money on that stupid thing was probably the most vengeful response

Last edited by Ann Hedonia; 07-14-2018 at 12:05 PM.
  #24  
Old 07-14-2018, 12:37 PM
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I go and buy stuff for the concession stand all the time. We have a vendor but sometimes the orders are timely in getting to us. Tortilla chips, 25 or 30 bags. Canned drinks, cases and cases. Pickles in gallon jars. I got questioned alot at first, they all know me now.
Personally if I see something on clearance I like, I will buy 10 of them.
  #25  
Old 07-14-2018, 02:08 PM
FoieGrasIsEvil FoieGrasIsEvil is offline
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VagiClean.
  #26  
Old 07-14-2018, 02:28 PM
Peter Morris Peter Morris is offline
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Obligatory XKCD cartoon.
  #27  
Old 07-14-2018, 02:36 PM
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In my first job, I was the market researcher on a brand of underarm deodorant. We were going to conduct a research study on potential new scents for our brand. The methodology featured little jars with samples of our prototypes, and other jars with samples of the leading competitors' products -- respondents would take a jar, uncap it, sniff the product sample, and rate it.

In order to conduct this research, we needed about 10 sticks each of several specific fragrances of different competitors' deodorants. I went to Phar-Mor (a now-defunct drugstore chain), since they tended to stock large quantities. Thus, I was in line at the cash register, with about 40 sticks of deodorant.

As I waited in line to check out, a woman got in line behind me. She couldn't help but notice the contents of my shopping cart. I turned around, and said, in a stage whisper, "I really sweat a lot."

Last edited by kenobi 65; 07-14-2018 at 02:36 PM.
  #28  
Old 07-14-2018, 02:39 PM
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A cake with "[your name] and [name of cashier] forever" printed on it and some paracord?
  #29  
Old 07-14-2018, 02:41 PM
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The canonical answer is: a pregnancy test and a single wire coathanger.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha Twit View Post
There's a restaurant near me that occasionally runs a special selling corn dogs two for a dollar. I've often wanted to go in and order a couple hundred of them and a large diet coke. spicy mustard on the side please.
4 fried chickens and a Coke.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Hedonia View Post
When I was in college, the town I lived in had laws forbidding the sale of non-food items on Sunday - because they weren’t “necessities”.
What Dirty Dancing style town is this so that I can avoid it?
  #30  
Old 07-14-2018, 03:09 PM
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One time at K-Mart I purchased only a box of Cheerios and a bottle of windshield wiper fluid.
  #31  
Old 07-14-2018, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by beowulff View Post
I always wanted to buy Apples, razor blades, Snickers and pins on Halloween.
One Halloween night, I had to buy apples. So just for fun, as I got to front of the line, I tossed a pack of good ol' Gilette double-sided razor blades on top of the apples. Checker rang them up, "$7.22, paper or plastic?"

I thought, "Well, darn, this is no fun." So as I paid I asked "Just wondering if you noticed..." and the clerk covered her mouth and started screaming while laughing. The other checkers, obviously her high school friends, starting laughing, too, mostly at her.
  #32  
Old 07-14-2018, 03:11 PM
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One time at K-Mart I purchased only a box of Cheerios and a bottle of windshield wiper fluid.
Part of your balanced breakfast!
  #33  
Old 07-14-2018, 04:01 PM
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I've purchased film, condoms, 25 cans of whipped cream, and lotion all at one time. All for different reasons, but it was pretty funny to see the cashier. She actually asked "What are you doing with all that whipped cream?" and my friend answered "Prank phone calls" and then we walked out. Laughed about it for a while after that.
  #34  
Old 07-14-2018, 04:08 PM
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Any set of items that total 6.66 (in any currency).
  #35  
Old 07-14-2018, 04:52 PM
CharmaChameleon CharmaChameleon is offline
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At an Albertson's supermarket, long ago, I once had to replace an awful lot of dietary supplements. There was a sale on many of them, and I took advantage of the sale prices. It came out to a significant amount of money, and a large number of pill bottles (maybe 75 or so).

This was on Halloween. The supplements were the only things I bought. A manager indeed asked me the reason for purchasing so much of the stuff. He accepted my explanation.

This was about the time all the hospitals and the airport started allowing people to use their X-ray machines to vet the kids' loot.
  #36  
Old 07-14-2018, 05:26 PM
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The best real-life combo I ever saw was a 40-ounce beer, condoms, and a pack of cigarets.
  #37  
Old 07-14-2018, 05:50 PM
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Real life sighting: Imodium and laundry detergent.
That was ME!
  #38  
Old 07-14-2018, 06:00 PM
Tatterdemalion Tatterdemalion is offline
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A couple of years ago I was at the Costco on the Saturday before the Super Bowl. I saw a guy pushing a flat out of the store with a 65" tv and a bottle of Wild Turkey.

I figured that guy had his weekend well planned.
  #39  
Old 07-14-2018, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror View Post
The canonical answer is: a pregnancy test and a single wire coathanger.
I've had a couple purchase a pregnancy test, Plan B, condoms, lube, and a vibrator all in one go.

When I first started cashiering I went at the combined purchase of baby stuff and beer, but now I'm sort of surprised when I don't see that combo - apparently, a lot of new parents drink a lot of alcohol. At least in my neighborhood.

At this point, it would probably be pretty hard to make me uncomfortable. I've seen a lot of weird combinations.
  #40  
Old 07-14-2018, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Broomstick View Post
I've had a couple purchase a pregnancy test, Plan B, condoms, lube, and a vibrator all in one go.

When I first started cashiering I went at the combined purchase of baby stuff and beer, but now I'm sort of surprised when I don't see that combo - apparently, a lot of new parents drink a lot of alcohol. At least in my neighborhood.

At this point, it would probably be pretty hard to make me uncomfortable. I've seen a lot of weird combinations.
They sell vibrators at a grocery store?
  #41  
Old 07-14-2018, 06:34 PM
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Technically, I work at a "hypermarket", meaning in addition to groceries we sell a lot of other stuff, like things you'd find at a drug store, hardware, clothing, etc.

We sell devices for "massage" which yes, can be used for massage but also for, shall we say, pleasure-focused activities either with yourself or with a friend (or several). We also sell Trojan brand "hot spot" vibrating rings next to the condoms, lubes, pregnancy tests, anti-fungal creams, vaginal washes, douches, and other related items.
  #42  
Old 07-14-2018, 06:42 PM
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4 fried chickens and a Coke.
Jake!!
  #43  
Old 07-14-2018, 07:05 PM
jnglmassiv jnglmassiv is offline
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Pressure cooker, backpack, assorted nuts & bolts, fireworks?
  #44  
Old 07-14-2018, 07:39 PM
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manson1972 manson1972 is offline
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Originally Posted by Broomstick View Post
Technically, I work at a "hypermarket", meaning in addition to groceries we sell a lot of other stuff, like things you'd find at a drug store, hardware, clothing, etc.

We sell devices for "massage" which yes, can be used for massage but also for, shall we say, pleasure-focused activities either with yourself or with a friend (or several). We also sell Trojan brand "hot spot" vibrating rings next to the condoms, lubes, pregnancy tests, anti-fungal creams, vaginal washes, douches, and other related items.
Ah, i see. Thanks!
  #45  
Old 07-14-2018, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kenobi 65 View Post
In my first job, I was the market researcher on a brand of underarm deodorant. We were going to conduct a research study on potential new scents for our brand. The methodology featured little jars with samples of our prototypes, and other jars with samples of the leading competitors' products -- respondents would take a jar, uncap it, sniff the product sample, and rate it.

In order to conduct this research, we needed about 10 sticks each of several specific fragrances of different competitors' deodorants. I went to Phar-Mor (a now-defunct drugstore chain), since they tended to stock large quantities. Thus, I was in line at the cash register, with about 40 sticks of deodorant.

As I waited in line to check out, a woman got in line behind me. She couldn't help but notice the contents of my shopping cart. I turned around, and said, in a stage whisper, "I really sweat a lot."
I used to work at Phar-Mor.
  #46  
Old 07-14-2018, 10:17 PM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is offline
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Three bottles of magnesium citrate and an extra-large colander.
  #47  
Old 07-14-2018, 10:28 PM
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Aspenglow Aspenglow is offline
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Roach killer, a jumbo bottle of Sriracha sauce and a set of chopsticks.
  #48  
Old 07-14-2018, 11:22 PM
Ispolkom Ispolkom is offline
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Originally Posted by Tatterdemalion View Post
A couple of years ago I was at the Costco on the Saturday before the Super Bowl. I saw a guy pushing a flat out of the store with a 65" tv and a bottle of Wild Turkey.

I figured that guy had his weekend well planned.
The first time I went to Price Club (predecessor to Costco) in the late 80s, the couple in front of me were buying a #10 can of Hersey's Chocolate Syrup and half a gross of condoms.

Another well-planned weekend.
  #49  
Old 07-14-2018, 11:33 PM
nearwildheaven nearwildheaven is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dogbutler View Post
I used to work at Phar-Mor.
I did relief work there a few times. They were not pleasant experiences, and I was not surprised that the chain went under.

My vote goes for duct tape, summer sausage, and Vaseline or KY Jelly.

My own personal strangest purchase that immediately comes to mind? Castor oil, epsom salts, and a bag of fun-sized candy bars. I told the uninterested teenage cashier that no, I didn't have an eating disorder; the first two items were for my garden.
  #50  
Old 07-15-2018, 09:36 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Morris View Post
Any set of items that total 6.66 (in any currency).
Hard to accomplish though.

I remember reading a true crime book awhile back about a hired killer who was deeply disturbed when his purchases totaled 6.66 and actually got into an argument with the cashier about it. Good way to be remembered
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