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Old 10-16-2018, 05:18 PM
Quartz Quartz is online now
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Fuck off Piers Morgan

Or, attention seeker criticises 007 (Daniel Craig) for carrying his baby child in a papoose.

Well, Piers, you certainly win on getting attention. But by winning you also show yourself to be an idiot and thereby lose. So fuck right off.

A man carrying a baby in a papoose is not uncommon hereabouts.

As Chris Evans (the one who played Captain America) said:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Evans
You really have to be so uncertain of your own masculinity to concern yourself with how another man carries his child. Any man who wastes time quantifying masculinity is terrified on the inside.
The other ripostes in the article are well worth reading, so I'll just let his TV co-host have the last word:

Quote:
His Good Morning Britain co-host Susanna Reid, never one to shy away from a debate with Morgan, can have the final word.

She tweeted: "No woman has an issue with a man carrying a baby in a papoose.

"This is YOUR issue."
  #2  
Old 10-16-2018, 05:26 PM
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NSFW (but text only)

https://www.urbandictionary.com/defi...Piers%20Morgan

ETA: I'm a little confused by the third one.

Last edited by Riemann; 10-16-2018 at 05:27 PM.
  #3  
Old 10-16-2018, 05:34 PM
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https://twitter.com/piersmorgan/stat...719617/photo/1

Note that this is from Piers Morgan's OWN twitter account.
  #4  
Old 10-16-2018, 05:41 PM
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God what an asshole. Why is any network paying such a stupid boor to be on TV?

Last edited by iiandyiiii; 10-16-2018 at 05:42 PM.
  #5  
Old 10-16-2018, 05:46 PM
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Fuck I'm glad nobody was lurking round corners with telephoto lenses for ME when I had a three week old daughter. Poor dude totally has that add-another-thirty-to-your-age not-sure-on-the-concept-of-sleep glazed-eye new parent look about him doesn't he?

So...this 'Piers Morgan' plonker. Never had any kids himself, or lazy arse who let his SO do the heavy lifting? Not invested enough to Google it...
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  #6  
Old 10-16-2018, 06:10 PM
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Jeeze, I already knew Rachel Weisz was the most "hated"/envied woman in the UK. Now this? What can a mere mortal woman do to keep up?
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Old 10-16-2018, 06:13 PM
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I think this thread is going to be a bit one sided. What good things can we find to say about sad sack Piers? Still a finer human being than Donald Trump? If expelled from U.K., could go to Fox News and raise journalistic standards?
  #8  
Old 10-16-2018, 06:31 PM
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Piers Morgan's existence has caused Aspidistra to call him a "plonker," which has introduced a new word to my vocabulary. Surely that's a good thing.
  #9  
Old 10-16-2018, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Aspidistra View Post
Fuck I'm glad nobody was lurking round corners with telephoto lenses for ME when I had a three week old daughter. Poor dude totally has that add-another-thirty-to-your-age not-sure-on-the-concept-of-sleep glazed-eye new parent look about him doesn't he?

So...this 'Piers Morgan' plonker. Never had any kids himself, or lazy arse who let his SO do the heavy lifting? Not invested enough to Google it...
I knew he had one child; he took over Larry King's TV show for a while (and was fired) and I remember when he had Michael Moore on and they cut to a commercial when one of them (can't remember who) mentioned Morgan's new baby, and Moore said something like, "Well, at least we know you've had sex." That child was with his second wife; he has 3 with his first wife.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piers_...#Personal_life

BTW, MM has no biological children.
  #10  
Old 10-16-2018, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix View Post
Piers Morgan's existence has caused Aspidistra to call him a "plonker," which has introduced a new word to my vocabulary. Surely that's a good thing.
Piers is a prat, a knobhead, a berk, a pillock, a tosser, a muppet, a gormless git.
  #11  
Old 10-16-2018, 06:57 PM
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I used to volunteer once a month at a local soup kitchen. There was a husband and wife who came regularly; both appeared to be slightly mentally challenged, but they clearly loved each other enormously, and in the meantime, she had a baby. A couple months after the baby was born, I heard the husband tell another client, "My wife says that she was pregnant for 9 months because she carried the baby everywhere, and now I'm pregnant because I carry the baby everywhere."

Wish we had a heart smiley, and that more couples were like this, regardless of their financial or intellectual situation.
  #12  
Old 10-16-2018, 08:01 PM
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Jeez completely beyond me how people here can't see the obviously gratifying Stuart Varney-ish appeal of the guy.
  #13  
Old 10-16-2018, 08:12 PM
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That picture of Daniel Craig carrying his baby just made my ovaries explode.
  #14  
Old 10-16-2018, 08:15 PM
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Piers is a prat, a knobhead, a berk, a pillock, a tosser, a muppet, a gormless git.
I believe you missed "bellend".
  #15  
Old 10-16-2018, 09:17 PM
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God what an asshole. Why is any network paying such a stupid boor to be on TV?
They've learned there's a real market for that, after the our 2016 election and its ongoing results.
  #16  
Old 10-16-2018, 10:06 PM
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I believe you missed "bellend".
I wish I could call him a Billy-no-mates, but there were enough like-minded plonkers to vote the UK out of Europe.

Last edited by Riemann; 10-16-2018 at 10:07 PM.
  #17  
Old 10-16-2018, 10:28 PM
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So Quartz, is this kerfuffle over the alleged "unmanliness" of a man who plays an action hero carrying his own child in a baby sling helping you a bit to understand what toxic masculinity is, and why it is a problem in society?
  #18  
Old 10-16-2018, 10:51 PM
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There was a short piece about this on CBC Radio today. The interesting part was that they apologized before and after for giving him the attention of mentioning his name.
  #19  
Old 10-16-2018, 11:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riemann View Post
Piers is a prat, a knobhead, a berk, a pillock, a tosser, a muppet, a gormless git.
and a wanker, a gobshite an imbecile, a schmuck, a douchebag, a chav, a pikey, an arsemonger, a fuckstick, an arschgeige, a flachwichser, and a walking ass with ears.
  #20  
Old 10-17-2018, 03:17 AM
Novelty Bobble Novelty Bobble is online now
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Stephen Fry memorably defined "countryside" as "the act of murdering Piers Morgan"

He is a hateful piece of shit with no redeeming features and the worst crime is that he appears to have zero self-awareness regarding his own character.
  #21  
Old 10-17-2018, 03:36 AM
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On the other hand he faced down an over from Brett Lee....
  #22  
Old 10-17-2018, 07:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix View Post
Piers Morgan's existence has caused Aspidistra to call him a "plonker," which has introduced a new word to my vocabulary. Surely that's a good thing.
The origin of plonker. The sitcom Only Fools And Horses.
  #23  
Old 10-17-2018, 08:13 AM
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and a wanker, a gobshite an imbecile, a schmuck, a douchebag, a chav, a pikey, an arsemonger, a fuckstick, an arschgeige, a flachwichser, and a walking ass with ears.
A beef-witted, tickle-brained, logger-headed pampillon.

Last edited by jz78817; 10-17-2018 at 08:15 AM.
  #24  
Old 10-17-2018, 08:51 AM
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And a starveling, eel-skin, dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, stock-fish, tailor's-yard, sheath, bow-case, and a vile standing tuck.
  #25  
Old 10-17-2018, 09:10 AM
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A bawbag, a numpty, a heid-the-ba', a bampot, a dobber, a walloper and all-round tube of a man.

Last edited by Baron Greenback; 10-17-2018 at 09:11 AM.
  #26  
Old 10-17-2018, 09:28 AM
Steve McQwark Steve McQwark is online now
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A bawbag, a numpty, a heid-the-ba', a bampot, a dobber, a walloper and all-round tube of a man.
I'm sorry, but I must object to this. I know all the name-calling is being done in fun but calling Piers Morgan a man is completely inappropriate.
  #27  
Old 10-17-2018, 09:32 AM
Living Well Is Best Revenge Living Well Is Best Revenge is offline
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Stephen Fry memorably defined "countryside" as "the act of murdering Piers Morgan"

He is a hateful piece of shit with no redeeming features and the worst crime is that he appears to have zero self-awareness regarding his own character.
So he's the perfect TV host for the Trump/Brexit era.
  #28  
Old 10-17-2018, 10:36 AM
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XD This thread is so educational!!
  #29  
Old 10-17-2018, 10:44 AM
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A bawbag, a numpty, a heid-the-ba', a bampot, a dobber, a walloper and all-round tube of a man.
A shilpit wee nyaff and a glaikit sumph.
  #30  
Old 10-17-2018, 11:39 AM
Novelty Bobble Novelty Bobble is online now
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So he's the perfect TV host for the Trump/Brexit era.
He's a host that nicely exemplifies it, but he's not the host that the situation calls for.

To be honest, I'm struggling to think of any problem to which the best solution is "Piers Morgan"
  #31  
Old 10-17-2018, 12:00 PM
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He's the only man who could be punched by Jeremy Clarkson (another Englishman who is not beloved by many) and everybody cheered for Clarkson.

And to borrow (as others have) from the Master of English insults:

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“Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee."

“More of your conversation would infect my brain.”

“Poisonous bunch-backed toad! “

“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”

“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
Old Will knew how to do it...
  #32  
Old 10-17-2018, 12:00 PM
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To be honest, I'm struggling to think of any problem to which the best solution is "Piers Morgan"
Reasons for bringing back the rope?
  #33  
Old 10-17-2018, 12:06 PM
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To be honest, I'm struggling to think of any problem to which the best solution is "Piers Morgan"
The classic hole in the dike situation. The hole is not the size of a little boy's finger, but Piers Morgan sized.
  #34  
Old 10-17-2018, 12:28 PM
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Poor dude totally has that add-another-thirty-to-your-age not-sure-on-the-concept-of-sleep glazed-eye new parent look about him doesn't he?
Lol. Wouldnt be surprised if he’s wearing the baby because that’s the only way they can keep it from crying.
  #35  
Old 10-17-2018, 02:06 PM
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Reasons for bringing back the rope?
hmmmm, I wasn't really laying down a challenge but people seem eager to offer suggestions.

OK then, when faced with the classic moral thought experiment where you have to push a fat man onto the tracks to save a group of workers, the correct answer must be "if the fat man is Piers Morgan then yep, I'll do it" Though that still gives him some nobility in death that he probably doesn't deserve.
  #36  
Old 10-17-2018, 03:33 PM
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There is a honorable tradition of sacrificing the annoying and superfluous for the greater good, and then praising the subject for the sake of a long-suffering family.
  #37  
Old 10-17-2018, 04:38 PM
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A shilpit wee nyaff and a glaikit sumph.
Glaikit is a word that should have wider currency.
  #38  
Old 10-17-2018, 05:26 PM
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So Quartz, is this kerfuffle over the alleged "unmanliness" of a man who plays an action hero carrying his own child in a baby sling helping you a bit to understand what toxic masculinity is, and why it is a problem in society?
I hope he answers this question.
  #39  
Old 10-17-2018, 05:49 PM
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Jeeze, I already knew Rachel Weisz was the most "hated"/envied woman in the UK. Now this? What can a mere mortal woman do to keep up?
I'm a straight male and I loves me some Rachel Weisz, first thing I thought when I heard she was marrying Craig was, "they are going to make the universes most beautiful human!"
  #40  
Old 10-17-2018, 05:55 PM
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Glaikit is a word that should have wider currency.
Got it from one of George Macdonald Fraser's "McAuslan" stories.
  #41  
Old 10-17-2018, 06:39 PM
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So Quartz, is this kerfuffle over the alleged "unmanliness" of a man who plays an action hero carrying his own child in a baby sling helping you a bit to understand what toxic masculinity is, and why it is a problem in society?
Not at all. This is Piers Morgan doing what he does best.
  #42  
Old 10-17-2018, 07:11 PM
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I hope he answers this question.
I think you're wasting your time. As Quartz has replied, this is Piers Morgan trolling for attention. I think it's a losing proposition to try to make this the basis for any wider discussion of social issues.
  #43  
Old 10-18-2018, 01:02 AM
Kimstu Kimstu is online now
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Not at all. This is Piers Morgan doing what he does best.
And the reason it works in this case is because of toxic masculinity. Saying that a man is deviating from traditional gender expectations of masculinity is traditionally a huge insult. Which is why the world is paying so much more attention to this remark than to some of the other equally stupid items in the infinite list of stupid things that Piers Morgan has said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riemann
As Quartz has replied, this is Piers Morgan trolling for attention.
Sure, but what makes trolls effective in their attention-whoring is knowing what hot buttons to push in their trolling remarks. The persistence of toxic masculinity is what makes the accusation of "emasculation" through baby-sling-wearing a hot-button issue.

Last edited by Kimstu; 10-18-2018 at 01:04 AM.
  #44  
Old 10-18-2018, 06:42 AM
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Frankly we could put up a flashing neon sign reading "Fuck off, Piers Morgan" and it would be justified on pretty much any given day. The man does so, so much on a regular basis that the only appropriate response to is "Fuck off".
  #45  
Old 10-18-2018, 09:33 AM
Gary Kumquat Gary Kumquat is offline
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Commenting on Piers Morgan being a cunt is about as useful as noticing the sun rose in the east in the morning, but I must point out one thing:

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Originally Posted by GuanoLad View Post
The origin of plonker. The sitcom Only Fools And Horses.
Plonker as an insult predates Del Boy by over a century. OFAH used it because it was a censor acceptable way to call someone a prick on TV; see also Porridge's use of berk (rhyming slang from berkshire hunt, cunt).
  #46  
Old 10-18-2018, 05:58 PM
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Fine. Whatever. It wasn't meant to be an etymology lesson.
  #47  
Old 10-18-2018, 11:55 PM
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And the reason it works in this case is because of toxic masculinity. Saying that a man is deviating from traditional gender expectations of masculinity is traditionally a huge insult. Which is why the world is paying so much more attention to this remark than to some of the other equally stupid items in the infinite list of stupid things that Piers Morgan has said.
But... but... it doesn't work in this case. It's idiotic and he's being ridiculed across the internet, from the Guardian to USA Today to The Week to everywhere in between.
  #48  
Old 10-19-2018, 12:37 AM
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Yes he’s being ridiculed. But the fact that he even made the remark is evidence that some people think this way.

Believe it or not, a lot of men (and women) believe it’s wrong to expect fathers to be nurturing, hands-on, full time parents. Men aren’t supposed to be walking around with a kid attached to their body; men are supposed to be out there hunting mammoths. It may be hard to imagine a guy feeling like he’s “less of a man” for the crime of walking outside with an infant strapped on him, but shift to talking about a man being a stay at home parent or taking a low status job with flexible hours so he can take care of his kids and the shaming is easier to see.

The emasculation boogeyman raises its head whenever a man chooses to do that which is routinely expected of women, and yes, this is a symptom of toxic masculinity because this fear deprives men of the opportunity to be more to their families than just workhorses. It also helps normalize the idea that fathers are not as important as mothers when it comes to caregiving.
  #49  
Old 10-19-2018, 01:39 AM
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My kid was a gorgeous goddam baby, and I carried him every chance I got, because giving good baby is ten gazillion monkey status points! Flaunt those genes!
  #50  
Old 10-19-2018, 08:17 AM
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A big +1 for you with the face, whose post also made me think about a little webcomic I saw a few years ago in which one person points out a little boy who is playing with baby dolls, and someone else responds by saying essentially "Hey, you know what that means? He's going to be a great father one day!"

Also, I had know idea that "berk" comes from Cockney rhyming slang.
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