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Old 11-10-2018, 09:52 PM
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I love my bidet! Ever try one?

I've been familiar with the concept of bidets since the mid 70's, but never did get around to trying one, despite repeated opportunities. As a physician, I fully support the concept and have recommended them to many patients with special needs, in addition to folks who just desire improved hygiene. As a guy, I just couldn't get myself to sit down on a water fountain. Especially since it was a separate appliance that sat a few feet removed from the commode.

Until a bit over a year ago, when we stayed at a fancy hotel in Vancouver, BC where the toilet had a high tech bidet seat. And I finally just said "oh, what the heck" and after studying the manual and doing my business, fired it up. And promptly enjoyed a most sublime experience that beat the hell out of using even the most gentle of toilet tissue, followed by a warm breeze on my fundament. Wow! Magical toilet seat, where have you been all my life?

Sadly the trip ended all too soon, and the Mrs. (who was also converted to bidet seat enthusiast) and I returned home to our mundane throne, a fine Kohler product in and of itself, but otherwise wholly pedestrian. We did vow to gift each other a nice bidet seat commode some future Christmas or Anniversary, though.

And when our trusty old commode finally showed signs of failure earlier this fall, the time finally came. We hied ourselves down to the Kohler Design Center, in Kohler, WI and took a magical tour of all the bidet seats/contraptions they had to offer, and after having lengthy technical discussions with the sales rep, committed to getting our new bathroom fixture, a commode with the deluxe bidet seat!

And now it is installed, as of this Friday past. A discreet control panel is conveniently at one's fingertips to the right of the seat, to rapidly power it up, and to command the wand to begin spraying with warm water. (Guys, make sure to use the 'rear' setting for the wand, NOT the 'front' setting.) Precision steering of the spray wand is available on said control panel. The strength of the spray may be adjusted upward or downwards, 6 settings in all. The pulse of the spray may likewise be varied, 5 settings, I believe.

And once one has been satisfied by the warmth, strength, position, and pulsations of the spray upon one's fundament, one may then push the button to activate the fan, to blow warm air upon one's refreshed starfish, leaving it not just squeaky clean, but nicely dry. Fan strength and air temperature is likewise adjustable. O Joy!

In addition, the seat provides a lovely blue light at night, guiding one to the facility for those of us with nocturia or other calls of nature. It also has functions for cleaning and sanitizing the seat itself, with the push of a button.

So we are both pleased as punch with our new household appliance. We feel like we've now entered a higher realm of enlightened living. And we question how we got this far in life without this wondrous waterwork!

Anyone else have a bidet seat? A bidet? Experiences past with said facilities? Do tell! Or ask questions, so I may wax further eloquent on the device!!
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:02 PM
Wesley Clark Wesley Clark is offline
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They have aftermarket ones I can buy for $20-30, but for whatever reason I'm afraid of them causing a water leak after I hook them up.

Also they look like they'd get a lot of fecal matter on them (the aftermarket ones, which stick out the back of the bowl).
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:13 PM
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They have aftermarket ones I can buy for $20-30, but for whatever reason I'm afraid of them causing a water leak after I hook them up.

Also they look like they'd get a lot of fecal matter on them (the aftermarket ones, which stick out the back of the bowl).
Our device's wand is fully retractable, hiding itself away in a sealed compartment until called upon, thus keeping it mainly out of the way of the varied excretions. Though doubtless like any toilet there's no way for the structure to remain perfectly pristine forever (effluvium happens, after all.)

And it's solidly plumbed and constructed, seemingly at extremely low risk for the aforementioned leak concerns.

It also cost a wee bit more than those aftermarket devices you note. But will doubtless pay for itself in toilet paper savings in a mere decade or 6.
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:28 PM
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It's great to hear such a hearty endorsement!

I'm in the market for one of these, have been a convert for years but am only just getting serious about going through the hassle of the upgrade. Do you mind sharing which model has impressed you so, and what it set you back? Did you have to make any especial umm, a-commode-ation to install it? I understand you need an electrical outlet nearby. Anything else?

I'm on a septic system, so figure I'll save immeasurable wear and tear on that in addition to just the pleasant experience you describe and the expense of toilet paper. You have the very set-up that interests me most.
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:48 PM
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Congrats! Must be a heck of a lot easier than using cats.
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Old 11-10-2018, 11:19 PM
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Wow. The OP is pure poetry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
...It also cost a wee bit more than those aftermarket devices you note....
As it were.
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Old 11-11-2018, 12:03 AM
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I have never used one - or even seen one in person - but I am astonished that the U.S. is so far behind (heh) other nations in ass-wiping.

I must know: with a bidet, is there no need atoll for toilet paper?


mmm
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Old 11-11-2018, 12:10 AM
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Too late to edit:

People Use a Bidet For the First Time


mmm
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Old 11-11-2018, 12:54 AM
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Congrats! Must be a heck of a lot easier than using cats.
One of my favorite Straight Dope articles is about people wiping their asses with the necks of geese.

Look it up! No links for You!
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Old 11-11-2018, 02:30 AM
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I have used a bidet while traveling in France, but we don't have one at home.

What I would LOVE is a plumbed in sitz bath ... I am dealing with a health issue that has me using those annoying plastic sitz bath inserts and would absolutely adore a plumbed in one like this.... http://buffaloah.com/a/windsor/94/sitz/sitz.html

sorry i am in chrome and it is recalcitrant to let me highlight.

They apparently don't make these any more and to buy a salvaged from deconstruction one is inordinately expenive.
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Mean Mr. Mustard View Post
Yeah, I've seen this .

I love bidets. They're standard in Turkish hotels and I'm always sad to go back to my home bathroom.

It definitely makes you feel "fresher", and (TMI) once you relax, it's quite a pleasant experience.
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Old 11-11-2018, 06:59 AM
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Never tried one, but I've stepped in poo before and sat there spraying the sole of my shoe with a hose for a good five minutes and, minus a twig to help scrape, there was only so much the flow of water could do to erode things.

It's always seemed to me like you would need to turn the pressure up so high that you're into waterpik territory - which would be both uncomfortable and liable to shower your balls with a nice mist of poo.

I assume that's not the case, or at least I'm unaware of any known complaints with the effectiveness nor comfort of a bidet, but the problem is that if you try it, it seems like you don't really have any visual cue to know whether it worked or not. It could well be that you've got a whole bunch of pooed-up cracks that, simply, most of everyone isn't properly aware that they're walking around with.

I'd be curious to try one out under laboratory conditions. But if I'm going about my regular daily life, I'd rather skip since I don't have time to fiddle around, trying out different nonsense and trying to figure out some method to verify that it actually worked and worked effectively.

Last edited by Sage Rat; 11-11-2018 at 07:01 AM.
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Old 11-11-2018, 07:29 AM
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...But if I'm going about my regular daily life, I'd rather skip since I don't have time to fiddle around, trying out different nonsense and trying to figure out some method to verify that it actually worked and worked effectively.
My actual daily strategy is to download immediately prior to my morning shower. I am fortunate to be pretty regular.


mmm
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Old 11-11-2018, 07:48 AM
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You know how now the advice from the FDA is NOT to wash raw chicken as all it accomplished is getting bacterial laden water all over your sink and countertops? I have a similar aversion to bidets. I'd rather not have a fine mistr of my own business all over my ass.
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Old 11-11-2018, 08:02 AM
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I've used a "tub" type bidet in France, and a "shower" type bidet in Japan. I like them both.

The tub one doesn't wipe your ass, but that plus a sponge bath was enough that I didn't feel the need to shower.

The shower one (built into the toilet seat) does wipe your ass. But I still used toilet paper in Japan. I liked it, but not so much that I decided to deal with the extra plumbing to get one for myself. BUT, last time I considered it, they were pretty unusual in the US, and I was afraid that if anything went wrong, the plumber and the electrician would each point at each other and say, "your problem" and I'd be stuck without a working toilet.
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Old 11-11-2018, 08:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
A discreet control panel is conveniently at one's fingertips to the right of the seat, to rapidly power it up, and to command the wand to begin spraying with warm water. (Guys, make sure to use the 'rear' setting for the wand, NOT the 'front' setting.) Precision steering of the spray wand is available on said control panel. The strength of the spray may be adjusted upward or downwards, 6 settings in all. The pulse of the spray may likewise be varied, 5 settings, I believe.

And once one has been satisfied by the warmth, strength, position, and pulsations of the spray upon one's fundament, one may then push the button to activate the fan, to blow warm air upon one's refreshed starfish, leaving it not just squeaky clean, but nicely dry. Fan strength and air temperature is likewise adjustable. O Joy!
This scares me!....... All those settings!
And in the middle of the night, when you're half asleep?

Let's see , now....where's that control panel,......oh yeah, over there,...yeah....I don't have to open my eyes too wide, I can just use it this way, right? Reach out with my left hand, and grab it.....Let's see...oh, here's a button to press.....Oh, and another....and oh, another....and, oh.....yeah another.....Well, okay, I'll just press this one over here...it's in almost the same position that I pressed with my left thumb a few hours ago, and feels like, yeah,.....should be okay.
Gee....What could go wrong?

Quadqop, my dear man--you have listed many settings: For front and rear (heh,heh), precision steering, settings for strength of spray (6!),settings for pulse (5!), for warmth, settings for fan strength and air temp.
Surely the person who last used the throne left the settings in the place which I prefer, right?
What could possibly go wrong?


This makes the old fight about toilet seat up or down look simple. Only two possible settings, yet it's a problem that the greatest minds of modern civilization has not yet solved.



Let me just ask one thing:
Ya know how when you go to a new place, like , maybe a luxury hotel in Vancouver--- and there's a shower you aren't used to? Do you just step into it naked, twist the knob and hope for the best?
Most of us prefer to stand outside, carefully reach in with one hand to start the process, then wait a few seconds, then test the waters gently, then adjust the flow and temp, and only then start to actually use the thing?

Me...at 3:00 am, I ain't gonna take a chance of getting an ice-cold, or scalding hot, high-pressure, blast---- from the wrong direction on the wrong bits.
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Old 11-11-2018, 08:38 AM
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I've used bidets in France and Saudi Arabia. When we built our retirement home I made sure we had room for the separate fixture bidet. It's right next to the toilet and I love it. I use it every time and I'd hate to give it up.

I use a lot less toilet tissue these days and consequently there's a lot less irritation in that area.

Nothing like nice warm water on your butt hole to make you feel pampered.

Last edited by GaryM; 11-11-2018 at 08:38 AM.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:13 AM
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We stayed in the Emperor's Suite (or some such upgrade) at a 5 star hotel in Tokyo decades ago, and the bathroom in and of itself was a palace. There was a separate room for the commode/bidet. When you opened the door, a light turned on & the bidet lid lifted up. There were all sorts of buttons & instructions in Japanese, but we somehow got it to do what we wanted.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:25 AM
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I'm fascinated by the contrast in this thread between people who have never used them and don't believe they can possibly work effectively and those who have used them, love them, own them, and swear by them (not to mention the millions of people around the world who routinely use them). Skepticism is a powerful force!

Question: I live in a rental house. Are there any that attach to the toilet without the need for construction?
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Old 11-11-2018, 10:05 AM
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I also love the magic toilet seat. Mine is a Brondell brand. It is easy to remove standard seat and attach this one. Just plug it in and connect water. This made it easy when I moved to take it along. No need to replace the entire commode.
One thing I don't understand is that so many people say they use no toilet paper. I use the paper to pat my bottom dry after the wash so I don't have to sit so long to dry.
It is a marvel.
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Old 11-11-2018, 10:46 AM
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Grew up using one in Peru, I don't understand how anyone can think they are clean using nothing but dry paper.
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Old 11-11-2018, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThelmaLou View Post
I'm fascinated by the contrast in this thread between people who have never used them and don't believe they can possibly work effectively and those who have used them, love them, own them, and swear by them (not to mention the millions of people around the world who routinely use them). Skepticism is a powerful force!

Question: I live in a rental house. Are there any that attach to the toilet without the need for construction?
Yes there are. Just remove the existing seat and install in its place. They come with a tee fitting for the water connection. You'll need an electric outlet nearby if you want warm water and a warm air blower.

Lots available on Amazon.
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Old 11-11-2018, 11:32 AM
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This scares me!....... All those settings!
It's not for everybody. Those who get frightened at the prospect of pushing its buttons will not be compelled to adapt to this device.
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Old 11-11-2018, 01:06 PM
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I'm fascinated by the contrast in this thread between people who have never used them and don't believe they can possibly work effectively and those who have used them, love them, own them, and swear by them (not to mention the millions of people around the world who routinely use them). Skepticism is a powerful force!
QFT, ThelmaLou! Certainly an example of ignorance fighting back!

Kohler Bidet Seat K8298 is what we have, we got it for circa $330 or so, despite it being listed some places for nearly twice that much.

I should add that in addition to the 'pulsate' feature, there's a companion 'oscillate' feature too. Both may be deployed at once, and on their maximum settings! Thus far, follow-up toilet paper checks to assess for adequacy of skidmark material removal have indicated 100% clearance from the wondrous water wand alone.

Also seat heating is a feature (complete with variable temperature), and now that winter has hit Wisconsin, one that the Mrs. states is her new favorite benefit.

The preferred settings for the wand position, temperature, force, oscillation, pulsation are all remembered by the device, and fortunately the Mrs. and I have the same preferences so that's not an issue (save for going from front to back at need, a trivial task to remember that maneuver.) We both agree this device represents a Great Leap Forward in our standard of living.
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Old 11-11-2018, 01:41 PM
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My master bath is where my bidet fixture is installed. I'm considering adding a seat unit to the hall bath. No nearby electric, but it's above an unfinished area so adding a GFCI receptacle is not too difficult.
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Old 11-11-2018, 02:36 PM
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We’ve used the separate unit bidets for years on European trips, but never dreamed we could enjoy the same luxury in the puritanical United States.

When we learned about the models that are part of the commode itself, we splurged on the complete unit with dryer and remote controls in the upstairs john. We liked it so much that we got the cheaper $330 add-on for the master bath on the lower (bedroom) floor.

Now, with bidets everywhere, our life is sublime.
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Old 11-11-2018, 02:59 PM
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You know how now the advice from the FDA is NOT to wash raw chicken as all it accomplished is getting bacterial laden water all over your sink and countertops? I have a similar aversion to bidets. I'd rather not have a fine mistr of my own business all over my ass.
Every time you flush, unless the lid is closed, you get a huuuge flume of e.coli filled mist erupting from the toilet and filling the room. And one's perineal area is quite heavily colonized with said e.coli constantly anyway, unless it's vigorously rinsed, when then reduces bacterial density.
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Old 11-11-2018, 03:28 PM
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Yep - wet wipes and ALWAYS close the lid!
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Old 11-11-2018, 05:35 PM
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I'm currently doing some renovations to my home. I am going to be adding this to the new throne.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:00 PM
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During my last trip to Japan, it was obvious that their bidet offerings is based on advanced alien technology.

My first exposure was on a trip to Manila with a colleague, staying at a hotel that had this strange second toilet I had never seen before. As I'm looking down at the bowl, I felt compelled to press the foot pedal attached to the device which then directed a stream of water onto my face. As I'm letting out a scream of surprise, I hear an identical scream coming from my colleague in the room next door.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:07 PM
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I've never used one, or even seen one in person, just in a certain movie scene. But I'd be very interested in trying one.

Last edited by Baker; 11-11-2018 at 09:08 PM. Reason: my spelling sucks
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:23 PM
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I've never used one, or even seen one in person, just in a certain movie scene. But I'd be very interested in trying one.
Yeah, that's the tricky part: how do you get the opportunity to try one? I don't think I've ever seen one, and I have traveled abroad a few times.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:25 PM
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I just upgraded from a super cheap add-on bidet to a still-cheap integrated seat bidet. I first tried it out after childbirth left me with hemorrhoids (TMI, I know. Luckily, my son is worth it most days.) Mine is only cold water, which I thought would be jarring, but it's really not bad at all. I would love to have a fan. I haven't convinced my husband to try it yet.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:35 PM
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Yep - wet wipes and ALWAYS close the lid!
Well, then you're about as tidy as a bidet can make you. But not tidier. This particular bidet seat uses water from the same source as our shower (i.e. the plumbing) to hose off the perineum, so it gets washed not by contaminated sources but by the same water we drink from.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:39 PM
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How long does this wash/dry cycle take? Does water ever get on your clothes?
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:51 PM
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How long does this wash/dry cycle take? Does water ever get on your clothes?
well, I tend to stretch it out; it's just so damn relaxing. But a good wash/dry can take under a minute. And there's been absolutely no collateral mess/spray/untidiness issue.
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Old 11-12-2018, 12:27 AM
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We have had 2 Toto Washlets for several years now, and we love them. Although it sounds like whatever brand/model OP has is better and with more features. Maybe it's time to upgrade. I understand that someone has now incorporated an exhaust fan into the seat, so the smells never even get out of the bowl before they are ejected. That would be a real upgrade!

As for settings, everything (temperature of seat, temperature of water, volume of water) is set and you don't have to fiddle with it. There are three main buttons to choose from, and since I always choose the same one I have no problems in the middle of the night.

My main complaint with my model is that the water pressure isn't as strong as I would like (also that it seems to vary a bit from occasion to occasion). Therefore, I don't have confidence that it always gets everything, and so I still have to use one go of toilet paper; sometimes it's just a few drips of the water, and sometimes it's more.

I am not interested in the fan to dry myself, because of the previous paragraph and also because I don't have the patience for it. So I would still use toilet paper, just a lot less than I would without the appliance at all.
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Old 11-12-2018, 01:01 AM
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(Guys, make sure to use the 'rear' setting for the wand, NOT the 'front' setting.)
You didn't need to specify that. A man would never use the "front" setting - that would be simply nuts.

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Old 11-12-2018, 01:10 AM
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We have a water-fountain-style bidet in our master bathroom that never gets used; fiddling with the water height and water temperature and then crouching over the thing is more time and effort than I want to use.

I've used a washlet-style toilet in Japan (one of our hotels had one) and it was certainly less fiddly than the one we have at home, but it didn't blow me mind. Maybe I just didn't have the right type of Klingons to appreciate it at the time.

So there's my vote for "I've used bidets and was not impressed".
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Old 11-12-2018, 01:22 AM
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Took you long enough Doc. Was 2002 when we last spoke about them here. Now that you've converted, you'll be hard pressed when you have to go back when you're away from home.

I've tried everything over the 20 years or so since I converted. Pretty stayed with the same simple design. I have a 6' shower hose attachment that comes right off my shower head on a separate diverter. The wand end is just a thumb operated valve. Probably the whole works set me back $20. I also have my old standby portable for when I'm away from home, which I made from a small hand operated pump called a Misty Mate. Not it's intended purpose, but I just cut the mister off the end and added my own wand. It only holds a couple cups of water, but adequate for a couple uses.
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Old 11-12-2018, 02:29 AM
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Growing up, all my Muslim friends had them, so I was a convert long ago. It's unfortunate we don't have them in my current house, but next time we do the bathroom...
  #42  
Old 11-12-2018, 02:44 AM
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Japanese ones are wonderful and we put two in our house in Tokyo. When we rented in Taiwan for the first year, I remember how rough it felt.

Now we’re back to having one in our house here. It’s great.

This one doesn’t have a fan so you have to use some toilet paper to dry yourself, but there isn’t any scrubbing do it’s not bad at all.
  #43  
Old 11-12-2018, 05:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hogarth View Post
...it was certainly less fiddly than the one we have at home, but it didn't blow me mind.
But does Olive Oyl like it?


mmm
  #44  
Old 11-12-2018, 06:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RTFirefly View Post
Yeah, that's the tricky part: how do you get the opportunity to try one? I don't think I've ever seen one, and I have traveled abroad a few times.
Dopefest at Quadgop's.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
Kohler Bidet Seat K8298 is what we have, we got it for circa $330 or so, despite it being listed some places for nearly twice that much.
Koher's manufacturer's suggested retail in Canada: $1,365.00. After reading that price, I expect that I'll be so constipated that I won't poop for years.

I wonder why bidets never caught on in North America? I wish they had.
  #45  
Old 11-12-2018, 09:12 AM
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ThelmaLou ThelmaLou is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roderick Femm View Post
We have had 2 Toto Washlets for several years now, and we love them. Although it sounds like whatever brand/model OP has is better and with more features. Maybe it's time to upgrade. I understand that someone has now incorporated an exhaust fan into the seat, so the smells never even get out of the bowl before they are ejected. That would be a real upgrade!

....
I'm looking at this one on Amazon after reading reviews on about a zillion of them last night:
Bio Bidet Ultimate BB-600 Advanced Bidet Toilet Seat,

What does the pee-nut gallery think? It has all the bells and whistles except nightlight. The control panel (which is lighted) is attached next to the seat, which I thought might be a problem during the night with no glasses on, but several users assured me that after a short time, you get used to where the buttons are and don't need to look at the panel.

I've got enough rewards points on my Amazon Visa (I HIGHLY recommend it!) to cover the cost-- $300-ish-- completely.
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Last edited by ThelmaLou; 11-12-2018 at 09:13 AM.
  #46  
Old 11-12-2018, 11:13 AM
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Bullitt Bullitt is offline
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Great OP write up, Qagdop. Thanks for the explanation and sales pitch. I’ve never used one, but now I’m interested. I saw one in our Rome hotel a couple of years back. While sitting on the throne and doing my business, I looked over at it with raised eyebrow and asked myself, Hmm, looks interesting, I wonder how that works?

And that’s as far as I got.

I’m seeing prices between $20 (post 40 from bare) and $1,650 (post 29 from Ike Witt), with Qagdop’s model quoted at $475 here (https://goo.gl/rtWQVD).

But yeah, how does one try before they buy?
  #47  
Old 11-12-2018, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by ThelmaLou View Post
I'm fascinated by the contrast in this thread between people who have never used them and don't believe they can possibly work effectively and those who have used them, love them, own them, and swear by them (not to mention the millions of people around the world who routinely use them). Skepticism is a powerful force!
Yes, agree! But to consider all possibilities, there must be folks out there who have tried bidets and yet don’t like them. I wonder what they say.
  #48  
Old 11-12-2018, 11:40 AM
Enright3 Enright3 is offline
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I'm a little confused. Why would people have have a bidet AND a toilet in the same room? Are you suggesting you do #2 in the toilet, then shuffle over, pants around your ankles to the bidet and use that to clean up the pink parts?
  #49  
Old 11-12-2018, 11:47 AM
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We installed one last year and were all immediate converts in the family. Sitting down on a warm seat and warm water spraying your nethers is an experience not to be missed.

Installation was trivially easy. Unbolt the old seat, bolt on the new one, and screw in the t-junction on the existing water line. The only potential challenge is if you don't have an outlet in relative proximity to the toilet.

One question, QtM: I got the model with front-to-back oscillation, which is definitely helpful in cleaning. But I skipped the model with pulsating pressure because it didn't seem like that would help cleaning, and instead is intended for a purpose more in line with pleasure than utility. Am I missing out?
  #50  
Old 11-12-2018, 11:59 AM
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Roderick Femm Roderick Femm is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bullitt View Post
Great OP write up, Qagdop. Thanks for the explanation and sales pitch. I’ve never used one, but now I’m interested...

But yeah, how does one try before they buy?
A bathroom design and products store here in SF has one in their customer restroom, so you can try it at least once before you buy it. I thought this was a brilliant idea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enright3 View Post
I'm a little confused. Why would people have have a bidet AND a toilet in the same room? Are you suggesting you do #2 in the toilet, then shuffle over, pants around your ankles to the bidet and use that to clean up the pink parts?
That would be the European style bidet, a separate appliance, and yes, I think it works substantially that way, except that it is right next to the toilet so you don't have far to go. However, Qadgop is talking about the kind that is built into a toilet seat, with a wand that extends when you press the button and that's what does the washing. No need for getting up or hobbling.
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