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Old 11-13-2018, 10:55 PM
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Household Mysteries, beyond "Where did the sock go?"

I've got two: The Neverending Pepper Can, and the Immortal Shaving Cream.

I've got this can of ground pepper, since from about 1976 (I think I rescued it from a dead persons house I helped clean out) that always has just enough left for one more steak.

But its done this forever! Are there Pepper Gnomes sneaking into my home at night and refilling this thing? I mean, I'm not complaining. You ever price pepper? About the most expensive thing out there, pound for pound.

But sometimes I wonder, am I really getting pepper, or black dust, or fairy dandruff, because that can should have been empty loooong ago.

Same "problem" (not really) with shaving cream. Can so old, it rusted on the bottom. In NEVADA! My Fiat and Jeep don't even rust here!

Been empty since I left college, I think. But always just enough for one more shave. Every time I shave, I tell myself, "Better get a new can", and every time I go to the store, I forget to buy one. But there is always one shave left.

What is going one here?
  #2  
Old 11-13-2018, 11:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
I've got this can of ground pepper, since from about 1976 (I think I rescued it from a dead persons house I helped clean out) that always has just enough left for one more steak.
If you really have a 42 year old can of already ground pepper it really doesn't matter if it is old pepper or dust at this point. And please don't put that stuff on an innocent steak.

Last edited by Spud; 11-13-2018 at 11:32 PM.
  #3  
Old 11-13-2018, 11:43 PM
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Whatever that black stuff is it must be spicy enough for your steak. But, seriously you cleaned out a dead persons house and brought home food stuffs? That seems risky.
I have a mysterious hairbrush. It's been in my possession since 9th grade. Every time I think well it's gone for good it shows up in the oddest places. I found it in a cupboard where I keep laundry detergent this last time. I don't normally go around brushing my hair while doing laundry. Cannot fathom how it got in there.
I probably have a dozen pair of scissors. Never can find them when I need them. Ever.
  #4  
Old 11-13-2018, 11:48 PM
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But, seriously you cleaned out a dead persons house and brought home food stuffs? That seems risky.

I probably have a dozen pair of scissors. Never can find them when I need them. Ever.
Hey, spices ain't cheap! Study your history!

I found a pair of scissors on the roof of the free Jeep I recently hauled home.

Stainless steel, from Japan! Sharp as shit, and probably vintage. Cleaned up nice.
  #5  
Old 11-13-2018, 11:49 PM
jackdavinci jackdavinci is online now
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I'm convinced there is some sort of reality distortion field where I live or else my housemate is gaslighting me. Periodically something will come up in conversation in which it comes to light that we have some kind of very different understanding of reality.The latest case, sometimes when I went to the bathroom, I would notice a slight trickle left running, would futz with the knobs, and came to the conclusion that there was a little bit of play past the off position where a slight trickle would come back. So later my housemate asks if I left the sink on and I explained about how it was tricky to find the exact off position. She looked at me like I was insane, so I went to the bathroom, and look and behold, now the knobs work normally, and turn off completely when turned all the way. Must be a Mandela accidental phasng into alternate timelines I guess
  #6  
Old 11-13-2018, 11:50 PM
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You should develope a spice mix. Get cool packaging and a story about a dead man's house. You'll sell a million. I'd buy it.
  #7  
Old 11-14-2018, 12:10 AM
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I'd buy it.
Aw, Beck, you'd buy anything I'd sell you. And that's why I love you!

Seriously, with a spontaneous generation of pepper, I'd have a pretty damn low over-head.

But it only works if you have just that one steak that need pepper. For example, it won't fill the normal pepper shaker. Nope. Nothin'. But go to toss a steak on the grill and sure enough, some will shake out. Every time.
  #8  
Old 11-14-2018, 12:18 AM
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Yeah, You're right. I am a sucker. It's printed on my passport.
  #9  
Old 11-14-2018, 01:04 AM
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There are never any pens when you need to write something down. Never. I have bought a dozen pens at the store and put them all next to the phone just so I have some handy to write a note and they are all missing when I need one.
  #10  
Old 11-14-2018, 01:36 AM
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Well, Sunny, you just moved. They're either still boxed up or you left them behind.
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Old 11-14-2018, 01:58 AM
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Where’re my damn chapstick? I remember buying a 2 pack last year and I know I’ve had other tubes as well. Now that’s it’s cold, the only one I can find is one that I picked up as a freebie at a summer festival and it doesn’t work great and tastes salty.
  #12  
Old 11-14-2018, 02:00 AM
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... doesn’t work great and tastes salty.
That's not Chap-Stick!
  #13  
Old 11-14-2018, 02:05 AM
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Mystery: Snickers, the 300 year old gerbil:

I bought my 2 daughters 2 gerbils about 12 years ago. They were sisters, one black (named Zippy), one brown (named Snickers).

Zippy died about 3 years later, but Snickers just kept going, year after year: a rodent Methuselah! I kept thinking, what the hell’s up with this gerbil? Should I call the Guinness Book of World Records? She finally died a few months ago. I gave the eulogy.

Me: you know girls, Snickers lived a good life. She lived to 12 years old. That’s over 300 gerbil years!

Daughters: Dad, you idiot, that’s not the same Snickers from 12 years ago, We’ve had at least 3 Snickers since that one died!

Me: Oh … well, RIP, Snickers. You still deserve a proper burial at sea [flush].

Mystery solved.

I guess that explains Tibby, my thousand year old cat, too.
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Last edited by Tibby; 11-14-2018 at 02:06 AM.
  #14  
Old 11-14-2018, 03:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
I've got two: The Neverending Pepper Can, and the Immortal Shaving Cream.

I've got this can of ground pepper, since from about 1976 (I think I rescued it from a dead persons house I helped clean out) that always has just enough left for one more steak.

But its done this forever! Are there Pepper Gnomes sneaking into my home at night and refilling this thing? I mean, I'm not complaining. You ever price pepper? About the most expensive thing out there, pound for pound.

But sometimes I wonder, am I really getting pepper, or black dust, or fairy dandruff, because that can should have been empty loooong ago.
Bolding mine. I'm just wondering since the origin of that can may have come from a dead person's house... was the person cremated?
  #15  
Old 11-14-2018, 05:23 AM
BobBitchin' BobBitchin' is offline
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I had a snap-on tool box that birthed 9/16" sockets, it made about 5 of them in ten years.
  #16  
Old 11-14-2018, 06:13 AM
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There are never any pens when you need to write something down. Never. I have bought a dozen pens at the store and put them all next to the phone just so I have some handy to write a note and they are all missing when I need one.

And when you DON'T need one, there everywhere!

Same thing with reading glasses. I buy them in five packs. Yet, I can never find them when I need them.


Also, I don't think I've ever bought a pair of fingernail clippers. Yet there always seems to be a pair in the junk drawer, or bathroom.
  #17  
Old 11-14-2018, 06:24 AM
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I had a can of gloss black spray paint. It was near empty, but always enough for one more small paint job. This went on for years and years. I was always amazed it had enough.

I finally tossed it when we moved.
  #18  
Old 11-14-2018, 08:46 AM
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And when you DON'T need one, there everywhere!

Same thing with reading glasses. I buy them in five packs. Yet, I can never find them when I need them.
.
Reading glasses. I started wearing them after my cataract surgery last year ( but I don’t need glasses for distance vision anymore). I have purchased 27 pairs since then, yet I can never find one when I need them.
  #19  
Old 11-14-2018, 09:07 AM
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I had two cans of beef broth and a can of diced green chile tomatoes. I remember seeing them and even thinking about eating the tomatoes straight from the can. Then I decided to make onion soup. I finished chopping the onions and went to get the broth--and it was gone, along with the tomatoes. In its place were a can of kidney beans and a can of sweet corn. I proceeded to look everywhere, even the closets, for the beef broth and tomatoes and couldn't find them.

So either there's been a glitch in the matrix or my memory is screwing up royally. Either explanation is unsettling.
  #20  
Old 11-14-2018, 09:35 AM
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There's a video that sums this up nicely.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-_kXIGvB1uU
  #21  
Old 11-14-2018, 10:04 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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I will be looking for something and not be able to find it. When I wake up the next morning, it will be sitting somewhere in plain site. This happened twice this week, with my warm white coat and with the new, nice black pants.

I don't know if I find things while sleep walking, if I have sleeptime physic abilities, or if my new place has elves in it.
  #22  
Old 11-14-2018, 10:05 AM
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I have a touch lamp that I got for my graduation in 1997, and have used it next to my bed ever since. It went to college with me, then home, then to my new house when I moved from my parents'.

As far as I can remember, I've never changed the bulb in it. And since it's my bed-side lamp, I use it every single day.

A couple years ago I touched the lamp (remember, it's a touch lamp) with a wet hand and the thing finally burned out. But when I put a new bulb in it, I found I'd shorted the whole thing, not necessarily the bulb! So if I hadn't been so careless, I might still be rockin' a 21 year old light bulb.
  #23  
Old 11-14-2018, 10:05 AM
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What’s the joke about the family that had the same axe for many generations? They replaced the axe head X times and the handle Y times. Forgot the joke, but it’s something like that.
  #24  
Old 11-14-2018, 11:30 AM
Kimballkid Kimballkid is offline
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I got a pen from a car dealership many years ago that will just not die. I carry it around in my wallet and use it quite often.

Only reliable thing I've ever got at that dealership.
  #25  
Old 11-14-2018, 11:42 AM
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burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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What’s the joke about the family that had the same axe for many generations? They replaced the axe head X times and the handle Y times. Forgot the joke, but it’s something like that.
I've always heard that as being Lincoln'e Axe; you know, born in a log cabin he helped his father build!


How is it that when you think you're out of TP and you bring a 24-pk home, there're 2 more 24-pks in the closet, yet a week later, when you think you have enough for Cox's Army and don't buy any TP, you're down to your last 3 squares?

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 11-14-2018 at 11:46 AM.
  #26  
Old 11-14-2018, 11:51 AM
Steve McQwark Steve McQwark is offline
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Originally Posted by Sunny Daze View Post
There are never any pens when you need to write something down. Never. I have bought a dozen pens at the store and put them all next to the phone just so I have some handy to write a note and they are all missing when I need one.
I managed to solve that mystery at my house this summer. My 15-year-old son likes to carry pens around, flip them in the air and catch them. I was helping him clean his room and when we pulled the bed away from the wall to vacuum, there must have been 40 or 50 pens under there. I also found a couple dozen cups, plates, bowls and, something that looked suspiciously like the remnants of an aardvark colony.
  #27  
Old 11-14-2018, 12:19 PM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is offline
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When I was a kid there was the Phantom Pee-er.

Every once in a while, the toilet seat would be flecked with pee. Only three of us ever used used that bathroom, and all three of us would indignantly deny being the culprit. The obvious explanation, of course, was that someone was lying- but I really did get the impression from my brothers that they were as baffled and annoyed as I was. I got into the habit of publicly blaming the only other possible* source: an incontinent ghost.

*I initially mistyped this as "pissable". The Ghost made me do it.
  #28  
Old 11-14-2018, 01:46 PM
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I had a snap-on tool box that birthed 9/16" sockets, it made about 5 of them in ten years.
I've owned/own several Jeeps, so needless to say I've spent a lot of time walking down the side of the road. You find lots of neat stuff on the side of the road, tools being foremost.

And 9 out of 10 times*, it's a 9/16" wrench or socket. I've got dozens of them.

*That 10th time it was a Fluke Multi-meter.
  #29  
Old 11-14-2018, 03:19 PM
Lucas Jackson Lucas Jackson is offline
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I used to do a lot of architectural drawings. Way back around 1980 something I bought a calculator that (among all the other things calculators do) converts feet and inches, etc. I have been using that calculator on a semi regular basis ever since and have never changed to batteries. And, no, it doesn’t have a solar component.
  #30  
Old 11-14-2018, 04:03 PM
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Didn't I *just* buy beer and whiskey?
  #31  
Old 11-14-2018, 04:08 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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I used to do a lot of architectural drawings. Way back around 1980 something I bought a calculator that (among all the other things calculators do) converts feet and inches, etc. I have been using that calculator on a semi regular basis ever since and have never changed to batteries. And, no, it doesn’t have a solar component.
I think I still have a TI calculator I got in the early 90s kicking around somewhere, it lasted well into the 2000s but I haven't used it since then. If I find it I'll need to fire it up to kick the wheels a bit.
  #32  
Old 11-14-2018, 04:20 PM
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Didn't I *just* buy beer and whiskey?
Yesh. Thanksh.
  #33  
Old 11-14-2018, 04:24 PM
Haunted Pasta Haunted Pasta is offline
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A couple of years ago I was morbidly fascinated to see a dead squirrel stuck in the main, lowest crotch of our oak tree. I figured a hawk had dropped it or something. There was a small brown mass in the split between the two main branches a few feet off the ground, with what was clearly a squirrel tail hanging down limply. It was raining, so I didn't go out to investigate further, but I took a picture and posted it on Facebook.

The next day, it was still there, and the weather had turned sunny. So, I went out to investigate and found to my amusement that the "squirrel" was made of fabric. The tail still looked like a squirrel tail, but no, it was definitely fake. I picked it up and examined it and everything, feeling dumb for being fooled like I'd been but laughing it off anyway.

Thing is, it was and remains a complete mystery how it got there. There was no other debris with it, so it's not like some bird or animal was trying to build a nest with it. (It's also a terrible place for a nest- if that's what it was was going to be, it would be the most exposed, easily preyed-upon nest of any kind I've ever seen.) The logical guess was that it was a dog chew thing that somebody overthrew and landed in our tree. But... it was in our back yard, well away from the street, so there's really only three possible yards from which it could have been thrown. And none of those people have a dog.

?????

Last edited by Haunted Pasta; 11-14-2018 at 04:25 PM.
  #34  
Old 11-14-2018, 04:45 PM
Mama Zappa Mama Zappa is online now
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Reading glasses. I started wearing them after my cataract surgery last year ( but I don’t need glasses for distance vision anymore). I have purchased 27 pairs since then, yet I can never find one when I need them.
That's always the trouble when you have a spare of something.

If you only have one, you keep tabs on where it is (whatever "it" may be) because you don't dare lose it.

If you have two.... if you can't find one, you don't stress, you figure you'll find the other. Until the day when you can't find *either*.

I've had things transmute. Last winter, I could NOT find my snow boots (where we live, we need them maybe 3 days a year most years).

But I found another pair of men's boots, which my husband and son both denied owning. I checked with a student who'd stayed with us a couple years before, and he said they weren't his either. So I tried 'em on - and they fit pretty darned well, better than my own pair.
  #35  
Old 11-14-2018, 04:49 PM
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I have about six pair of reading glasses that I distribute at various locations around the house for those occasions when I suddenly need to see something up close. Somehow, over the course of a few days, they all manage to congregate together in one out of the way and obscure location. I haven't caught them sneaking around yet, so I don't know how they do that
  #36  
Old 11-14-2018, 05:03 PM
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Didn't I *just* buy beer and whiskey?
Damn things have holes in the bottles! And they spill out and/or evaporate away!
  #37  
Old 11-14-2018, 05:23 PM
xizor xizor is offline
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Exactly 2 people use my bathroom, yet there are always 5-10 toothbrushes in the toothbrush holder.
  #38  
Old 11-14-2018, 06:11 PM
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My Neato vac failed to return to its base station a couple of days ago. It does occasionally get stuck sometimes. However, I can't seem to find it anywhere. Possibly it ran away from home. Or the cat did it in.
  #39  
Old 11-14-2018, 06:46 PM
Missy2U Missy2U is offline
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My Neato vac failed to return to its base station a couple of days ago. It does occasionally get stuck sometimes. However, I can't seem to find it anywhere. Possibly it ran away from home. Or the cat did it in.
For some strange reason this is kinda freaking me out a little.
  #40  
Old 11-14-2018, 08:08 PM
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There are never any pens when you need to write something down. Never. I have bought a dozen pens at the store and put them all next to the phone just so I have some handy to write a note and they are all missing when I need one.
A few years ago I told my wife I wanted ONE HUNDRED PENS for Christmas. She came through. Ever since then they are never by the phone or anywhere else I would actually need them.
  #41  
Old 11-14-2018, 08:18 PM
Yllaria Yllaria is offline
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I swear, pens evaporate.
  #42  
Old 11-14-2018, 08:31 PM
dalej42 dalej42 is online now
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Originally Posted by Grrr! View Post
And when you DON'T need one, there everywhere!



Same thing with reading glasses. I buy them in five packs. Yet, I can never find them when I need them.





Also, I don't think I've ever bought a pair of fingernail clippers. Yet there always seems to be a pair in the junk drawer, or bathroom.


I’ve bought at least 3 pairs of fingernail clippers in Europe over the years, always forget to pack them. Now, I keep a set in my toiletries bag, paid £5 last time!
  #43  
Old 11-14-2018, 08:46 PM
Hopeful Crow Hopeful Crow is offline
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How can there be so much cat hair drifting around but Noir Kitty isn't half bald? On the contrary, he sports a luxuriant, silky coat of short black fur. Yet he manages to shed enough for several cats, at least. I'm always sweeping up clumps of it everywhere. It defies logic, I tells ya!
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Now you've read it; this is it.

Last edited by Hopeful Crow; 11-14-2018 at 08:47 PM.
  #44  
Old 11-14-2018, 09:02 PM
elfkin477 elfkin477 is offline
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Last night I happened to glance at the row of DVDs behind me in my bedroom and was surprised to find this version of Treasure Island nestled between more familiar movies. I don't recall ever seeing this DVD before, but there it is, still shrink wrapped and everything. I honestly have no idea where it came from or when I got it or if someone had given it to me.
  #45  
Old 11-14-2018, 09:08 PM
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Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Bottle openers seems to vanish with depressing regularity, but this might not be so mysterious.
  #46  
Old 11-14-2018, 10:57 PM
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Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is online now
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Every freaking time Mr.Wrekker goes to Wal-Mart alone he buys a bottle of Tylenol. He only goes a few times a year. He won't even get Equate brand. He gets the high priced real shit. And he buys the small size, you know bulk is cheaper per pill. I have 10 or 15 small bottles of Tylenol. I could put holes in a lot of livers with that many. I don't use Tylenol. And, guess what? Neither does he.
In case of apocalypse, if you have a headache come see me. I am stocked up.
  #47  
Old 11-14-2018, 11:41 PM
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Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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I have a feeling you would cause a headache, Beck.

Jus kiddin'! You know I luvs ya!
  #48  
Old 11-15-2018, 12:59 AM
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Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is online now
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Yep, that's me all over. Beckda-ache.
  #49  
Old 11-15-2018, 07:53 AM
DummyGladHands DummyGladHands is offline
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I swear, pens evaporate.
We have 3 big mugs of pens. None seem to work. I will kill anyone who pulls out a pen, finds that it doesn't work, AND PUTS IT BACK IN THE MUG.
  #50  
Old 11-15-2018, 08:07 AM
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Cardigan Cardigan is offline
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I had a magical can of shaving cream that lasted for years. Elves replenished it every full moon. I have the opposite problem when it comes to two liter bottles of pop. I can buy one, open it up and pour myself a single glass and the next day it's nearly empty. I ask who drank it and everyone swears they didn't.
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