Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:26 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520

There was...something...in my beer.


I was enjoying being outside. Until this...abomination crawled in my beer and I almost drank it. It WAS in my mouth briefly. WtFis it?

(Crossposting at Giraffe since I can can upload a photo there)

http://www.giraffeboards.com/showthr...19#post1525019
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.

Last edited by snfaulkner; 05-17-2019 at 09:27 PM.
  #2  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:30 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
Omg. I would be still puking. How the heck did that happen?
  #3  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:32 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
Omg. I would be still puking. How the heck did that happen?
I dunno. I was only outside with an open beer for maybe 15-20 min. I was distracted by seeing a firefly for the first time in 20ish yrs. Is it better or worse if it was in there from the factory?
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #4  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:35 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
I immediately went to a bar and ordered a bourbon straight to kill off germs...and feelings...and memories.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #5  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:42 PM
Folly's Avatar
Folly is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Chicago! (no more burbs)
Posts: 2,222
I don't know if you have a slug there, but beer attracts slugs.
  #6  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:45 PM
Colibri's Avatar
Colibri is online now
SD Curator of Critters
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Panama
Posts: 42,333
Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
I was enjoying being outside. Until this...abomination crawled in my beer and I almost drank it. It WAS in my mouth briefly. WtFis it?

(Crossposting at Giraffe since I can can upload a photo there)

http://www.giraffeboards.com/showthr...19#post1525019
You have to register there and log in to see the image, apparently, so it would be better to post it on some site where you don't have to do that.
  #7  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:47 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Folly View Post
I don't know if you have a slug there, but beer attracts slugs.
Evidently. I think it's a leach. Like that scarring scene from Stand By Me.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #8  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:48 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
I immediately went to a bar and ordered a bourbon straight to kill off germs...and feelings...and memories.
That is exactly what I would do. Maybe chase it with some GermX.
You may have ptsd, get therapy, quick.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 05-17-2019 at 09:50 PM.
  #9  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:52 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
You have to register there and log in to see the image, apparently, so it would be better to post it on some site where you don't have to do that.
That's yarbles. But thanks for the heads up. I'm already three bourbons in so I ain't gonna sign up for anything else right now. So until tomorrow, let's just say that it is like an inch long grey, segmented worm like leachy thing. Beck, back me up here.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #10  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:59 PM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 21,404
I linked directly to the image. You should be able to see it now.

http://www.giraffeboards.com/attachm...8&d=1558145855
  #11  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:00 PM
raventhief's Avatar
raventhief is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,839
That's... Horrifying.
  #12  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:03 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by raventhief View Post
That's... Horrifying.
It...is. it really really is. I'll be complaining about it for many weeks/months/yrs, I'm sure.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #13  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:04 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
I linked directly to the image. You should be able to see it now.

http://www.giraffeboards.com/attachm...8&d=1558145855
Thankee, kind sir.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #14  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:04 PM
kambuckta is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Vic, Australia.
Posts: 9,942
Quote:
Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
I linked directly to the image. You should be able to see it now.

http://www.giraffeboards.com/attachm...8&d=1558145855
Nope, still goes to the log-in page.
  #15  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:05 PM
Doug K. is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Hutchinson, KS
Posts: 3,937
Quote:
Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
I linked directly to the image. You should be able to see it now.

http://www.giraffeboards.com/attachm...8&d=1558145855
Nope. Says you have to be logged in to see it. Not gonna happen.
  #16  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:25 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug K. View Post
Nope. Says you have to be logged in to see it. Not gonna happen.
I dont blame you. I'll try and remember to make an upload where everyone can share my horror tomorrow. Although I'm doing my best to never remember right now.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #17  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:27 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
It's truly gross.
  #18  
Old 05-17-2019, 10:47 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
whimmy wham-wham wozzel!
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #19  
Old 05-17-2019, 11:09 PM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 21,404
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug K. View Post
Nope. Says you have to be logged in to see it. Not gonna happen.
Funny. I made sure I was logged out when I tested it. Oh, well.

Last edited by cochrane; 05-17-2019 at 11:10 PM.
  #20  
Old 05-18-2019, 01:09 AM
Gatopescado is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: on your last raw nerve
Posts: 21,887
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
It's truly gross.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
I dunno. The blond is kinda hot.
  #21  
Old 05-18-2019, 07:00 AM
kayaker's Avatar
kayaker is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Western Pennsylvania
Posts: 31,725
Last year on our pontoon boat I took a swig of my beer and immediately knew something was amiss. I spit out the mouthful and out came a bee! It took a moment to get its shit together, then flew off.
  #22  
Old 05-18-2019, 08:29 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
Last year on our pontoon boat I took a swig of my beer and immediately knew something was amiss. I spit out the mouthful and out came a bee! It took a moment to get its shit together, then flew off.
You mean you let him leave? He was FUI.
  #23  
Old 05-18-2019, 09:09 AM
Ike Witt's Avatar
Ike Witt is online now
Friend of Cecil
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Lost in the mists of time
Posts: 14,623
Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
See, I was thinking more along the lines of this. snfaulkner may have just saved the planet.
  #24  
Old 05-18-2019, 10:54 AM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 21,404
I was actually thinking of the worms in Fry's truck stop sandwich that rewired his brain.
  #25  
Old 05-18-2019, 05:34 PM
dba Fred is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,062
So snfaulkner, did it drink much?
If itd been a fly and you were Irish and in a joke, youd have grabbed the fly by the wings and yelled Spit it out, ya little bastard, spit it out!
  #26  
Old 05-18-2019, 06:10 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 21,862
Quote:
Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
I linked directly to the image. You should be able to see it now.

http://www.giraffeboards.com/attachm...8&d=1558145855
I'm still getting the log in page. I want to see the parasite you ingested.
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion
  #27  
Old 05-18-2019, 06:46 PM
Regallag_The_Axe's Avatar
Regallag_The_Axe is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: United States of Leifholm
Posts: 3,184
I can't see the picture, but I'm sure you'll be fine.

***WARNING***STORY ABOUT EATING A BUG FOLLOWS***
SQUEAMISH PEOPLE BEWARE


I once camped out someplace that had beetles (or beetle-like bugs, I'm no entomologist) that were known to fly into one's food. Usually the solution was to pick them out as soon as you saw them, but somehow one of them escaped my notice and got into my mouth. I thought something was amiss after I felt a *CRUNCH* between my teeth. Then I tasted something entirely unlike the fried rice on my plate. Then I felt the little fcuker flapping it's wings in my mouth. Being a stubborn Yankee bastard, I couldn't admit defeat by spitting it out. So I chewed furiously and swallowed! The taste in my mouth was indescribably awful. A fork full of (untainted) fried rice and a whole cup of water didn't get it out, so I went with the nuclear option. Nowadays that would be strong liquor, but being a child I went with several spoons-full of hot sauce. And here I am, [mumble mumble] years later with nothing but a gross story to tell from it. And you had liquor to help with your thing! You'll be fine.
__________________
PMA to the grave
  #28  
Old 05-18-2019, 06:48 PM
kenobi 65's Avatar
kenobi 65 is offline
Corellian Nerfherder
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Brookfield, IL
Posts: 14,772
I can confirm that the thing would have wrapped itself around your cerebral cortex, and rendered you highly susceptible to suggestion. I saw a documentary about those things once.
  #29  
Old 05-18-2019, 07:08 PM
markn+ is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: unknown; Speed: exactly 0
Posts: 2,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
I'm still getting the log in page. I want to see the parasite you ingested.
There was no parasite. The photo page that you can't reach does not exist. This was all just a simple little mistake. We've had a little talk with snfaulkner, and he now agrees that there was never any brain-controlling parasite in his beer, and there was no photo, and everyone should just forget the whole thing. And if you hear any more stories over the next few weeks about people finding things like this in their beverages, just ignore them too. It will all be over soon.
  #30  
Old 05-18-2019, 07:17 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 21,862
Ok good, I was worried for a while. Are we still meeting at the San Francisco city hall tomorrow morning?
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion

Last edited by Wesley Clark; 05-18-2019 at 07:17 PM.
  #31  
Old 05-18-2019, 07:17 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
I still think he may have PTSD. Delusional thinking is a symptom. We should intervene. It would be a kindness, really.
  #32  
Old 05-18-2019, 09:19 PM
Jackmannii is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: the extreme center
Posts: 31,621
Needs official thread song.
  #33  
Old 05-18-2019, 10:10 PM
Folly's Avatar
Folly is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Chicago! (no more burbs)
Posts: 2,222
Hopefully, snfaulkner doesn't object to me relocating the image to imgur.

https://imgur.com/esLOQXl
  #34  
Old 05-18-2019, 10:25 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 21,862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Folly View Post
Hopefully, snfaulkner doesn't object to me relocating the image to imgur.

https://imgur.com/esLOQXl
Thank you. 33 posts and it was finally posted for those of us not registered on giraffe boards.

Its not that disgusting. Theres no spikes or green spots on it.
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion
  #35  
Old 05-18-2019, 10:25 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Folly View Post
Hopefully, snfaulkner doesn't object to me relocating the image to imgur.

https://imgur.com/esLOQXl
Nope! I appreciate it. Thanks!
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #36  
Old 05-18-2019, 11:16 PM
E-DUB's Avatar
E-DUB is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,537
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
Now if it was soup we were talking about..............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWaTbiWGvas
  #37  
Old 05-18-2019, 11:33 PM
Colibri's Avatar
Colibri is online now
SD Curator of Critters
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Panama
Posts: 42,333
Quote:
Originally Posted by Folly View Post
Hopefully, snfaulkner doesn't object to me relocating the image to imgur.

https://imgur.com/esLOQXl
Thank you. It looks like a slug to me, with its eyestalks retracted from being in the alcohol.

Slugs love beer, and beer traps are sometimes used to get rid of them in gardens.
  #38  
Old 05-18-2019, 11:35 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
Maybe it was just the inside of escargot. Yep, that's the ticket, pretend you were eating fancy French food. (Ewww, snails.I'm still gaggy)

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 05-18-2019 at 11:35 PM.
  #39  
Old 05-19-2019, 09:26 AM
wolfpup's Avatar
wolfpup is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 10,455
Exactly. Slugs and snails are both gastropods. That thing would probably have been delicious with melted garlic butter. Yumm! You should have been charged extra for it!

OK, I'll go away now. I think I need to throw up anyway.
  #40  
Old 05-20-2019, 08:56 AM
BubbaDog's Avatar
BubbaDog is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: KC MO or there abouts
Posts: 5,679
Looks tasty!
  #41  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:11 AM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 21,404
Less filling, tastes great!
  #42  
Old 05-20-2019, 12:06 PM
BrotherCadfael is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 10,211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
This is what came to me: There was something in my beer that night...
  #43  
Old 05-20-2019, 12:14 PM
muldoonthief's Avatar
muldoonthief is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: North of Boston
Posts: 10,932
Quote:
Originally Posted by dba Fred View Post
So snfaulkner, did it drink much?
If itd been a fly and you were Irish and in a joke, youd have grabbed the fly by the wings and yelled Spit it out, ya little bastard, spit it out!
[hijack]Goddammit, I hate it when people screw up this joke. The Irishman picks the fly out of his beer, and continues to drink from the glass- because the Irish are notorious drunks. The Scotsman is the one who yells "Spit it out, ye thievin' bastard!", because the Scottish are notorious drunks, but also notoriously cheap, so he wants that bit of beer back.[/hijack]
  #44  
Old 05-20-2019, 12:24 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael View Post
Fernando the slug.
He wasn't just a bug
He offered a bit of protein
He was silent & unseen
He took a little swim
And you nearly swallowed him...
  #45  
Old 05-20-2019, 07:21 PM
gogogophers is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 970
All these histrionics over a slug-bug in a beer? Some folks just don't get outdoors often enough.

Last edited by gogogophers; 05-20-2019 at 07:22 PM.
  #46  
Old 05-20-2019, 08:14 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by gogogophers View Post
All these histrionics over a slug-bug in a beer? Some folks just don't get outdoors often enough.
Technically, it was histrionics over a slug in my mouth when I expected just crip, refreshing, ice-cold smooth beer.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #47  
Old 05-20-2019, 08:27 PM
drad dog's Avatar
drad dog is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 5,921
https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/05/healt...are/index.html

Sorry to be a downer but it can be quite serious.
  #48  
Old 05-20-2019, 09:59 PM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 42,877
I have eaten freeze-dried caterpillars, canned grasshoppers, baby bees in honey and chocolate-covered ants. Nothing bothers me.
  #49  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:08 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
I have eaten freeze-dried caterpillars, canned grasshoppers, baby bees in honey and chocolate-covered ants. Nothing bothers me.
The difference being that you did so by choice. I'm assuming none of those were in your beer surprise.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #50  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:17 PM
cochrane is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 21,404
Quote:
Originally Posted by drad dog View Post
https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/05/healt...are/index.html

Sorry to be a downer but it can be quite serious.
Takeaway lesson: Even the slugs in Australia can be deadly.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:39 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017