View Poll Results: Is it okay for people refer to their same sex legally wedded partner as "my husband" or &q
I'm okay with it. 364 91.23%
It squicks me out a little, but I can live with it. 26 6.52%
No. don't do it. 9 2.26%
Voters: 399. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-09-2019, 10:58 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,624

Are you comfortable with gay people using the terms "my husband" or "my wife"?


I have spoken with some radically religious people who insist "a man can't have a husband" or "a girl (sic) can't have a wife." However, I've been calling my sister's partner "her wife" for decades, and around such people I now say "her legally wedded wife."

OTHO, when a man on my cashier line told the obviously Orthodox Jewish woman behind him "I'm sorry. My husband had to go out to the car to get our card" she did not look horrified or go into spasms over it. Her only words were "That's all right." It made me feel good and I told her so.

So, how do you feel about having a man say "my husband" or a woman say "my wife"?
  #2  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:02 AM
BrotherCadfael is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 10,238
While it is a perfectly reasonable locution, I find it just slightly jarring to hear, probably because of its novelty. I assume that, as the phrase becomes more common, I will lose the slight double-take I do when I hear it.
  #3  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:03 AM
Bullitt's Avatar
Bullitt is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: SF Giants 2010•2012•2014!
Posts: 25,474
Sure, it’s fine. Why not?
  #4  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:03 AM
CairoCarol is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 4,833
My first instinct was to say "I don't feel anything, it's no different than a man mentioning his wife or a woman mentioning her husband."

But actually that's not quite true. I do feel something - I feel like doing a little happy dance, because I'm so glad that SSM is finally possible.
__________________
If I waited for memory to serve, I'd starve.
  #5  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:07 AM
SanVito is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 4,627
I can understand if people find it... unusual. Heck, I'm a gay woman with a legal wife myself, and it's taken ME some time to get used to wrapping my tongue around it and to get over of the impulse to call her my 'partner'.. But I do think it's something people will rapidly get used to.

Last edited by SanVito; 07-09-2019 at 11:08 AM.
  #6  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:15 AM
Alpha Twit's Avatar
Alpha Twit is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Somewhere south of normal
Posts: 2,232
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael View Post
While it is a perfectly reasonable locution, I find it just slightly jarring to hear, probably because of its novelty. I assume that, as the phrase becomes more common, I will lose the slight double-take I do when I hear it.
+1 coupled with a momentary flash of confusion and shame. This is not something that should be noteworthy. For right now though, it is. My brain pauses for a beat while internally I think "wait......what?". I'm glad that I'm hearing it openly and sorry for my instinctive reaction.
__________________
I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
  #7  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:17 AM
JRDelirious is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Displaced
Posts: 15,835
Yeah really, I expect it will sound “unusual” for a little while longer like any change in language usage, but it will soon enough become routine. Not something I’ll make myself anxious about.
  #8  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:17 AM
pool is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Inside
Posts: 4,423
I don't have a problem with gay people or them getting married but hearing it said does cause a little stutter in my brain or something, it kind of makes me roll my eyes on the inside for just a second because it sounds incorrect or silly to my ears to hear or read, I think it's just because it sounds wrong to my ears or some reason and I have to reprocess what I just heard, it's probably just growing up when that was not a common thing to hear.
__________________
"You can do anything you set your mind to...But money helps"
  #9  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:20 AM
Loach's Avatar
Loach is offline
The Central Scrutinizer
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Pork Roll/Taylor Ham
Posts: 25,376
Hard to remember because it never really affected me directly but it was probably jarring at first. Now it feels normal and causes less confusion. If someone says boyfriend/girlfriend I understand the level of relationship. If someone says husband/wife I understand. If someone uses partner then i have questions.
  #10  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:21 AM
Roderick Femm's Avatar
Roderick Femm is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On the cusp, also in SF
Posts: 7,115
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanVito View Post
I can understand if people find it... unusual. Heck, I'm a gay woman with a legal wife myself, and it's taken ME some time to get used to wrapping my tongue around it and to get over of the impulse to call her my 'partner'.. But I do think it's something people will rapidly get used to.
Agreed. I have struggled with saying "my husband" to people I don't know, it's like someone said in the "gay pride" thread, it feels like coming out all over again. As it happens, I was already 20 when Stonewall happened, so I had already thoroughly internalized all the shame and stigma. That stuff has deep roots and is hard to dig out.

That's why I don't mind so much if people have an initial reaction, or if they assume when they know I'm married that I have a wife instead of a husband. No-one has ever said anything unpleasant to my face about it, and that's enough for me for now.
  #11  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:25 AM
Czarcasm's Avatar
Czarcasm is offline
Charter Member
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 61,306
I was with a lesbian couple at their swap meet booth a few years back, and when April introduced Janice as her wife to a woman browsing the wares the woman responded "You can't really be married, you know".
April responded, "I am so sorry if I offended you. I meant to say this is Janice, my fuckmate".
  #12  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:26 AM
Shodan is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Posts: 39,380
Yes, there is a quarter-second or so of mental re-adjustment. Not exactly outrage, just "Oh, that's what he means". I don't react that way when they say "partner" - not sure why.

Regards,
Shodan
  #13  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:28 AM
74westy's Avatar
74westy is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Regina, SK, Canada
Posts: 1,951
About time. For a while I was supposed to call my wife my partner because to call her my wife would be lording it over people who were not allowed to marry. I didn't want to offend anyone but I'm too old for that shit and can't learn anything new.

Much better if everyone can just state the facts.
  #14  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:30 AM
Thudlow Boink's Avatar
Thudlow Boink is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Lincoln, IL
Posts: 26,975
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael View Post
While it is a perfectly reasonable locution, I find it just slightly jarring to hear, probably because of its novelty. I assume that, as the phrase becomes more common, I will lose the slight double-take I do when I hear it.
Yeah, pretty much this. While I may not (yet?) be entirely *comfortable* with it, that's on me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
I have spoken with some radically religious people who insist "a man can't have a husband" or "a girl (sic) can't have a wife."
I get the impression that at least some such people think of "husband" and "wife" as separate but complementary roles, like mortar and pestle, or nut and bolt; and that part of their opposition to same-sex marriage comes from their inability to make sense of a coupling with two of one thing and none of the other, like two nuts with no bolt, or two mortars with no pestle.
  #15  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:36 AM
RTFirefly is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 39,000
When there's married gays that you hang out with on occasion, it becomes normal pretty quick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Czarcasm View Post
I was with a lesbian couple at their swap meet booth a few years back, and when April introduced Janice as her wife to a woman browsing the wares the woman responded "You can't really be married, you know".
April responded, "I am so sorry if I offended you. I meant to say this is Janice, my fuckmate".
That is so much win.
  #16  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:38 AM
DrDeth is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: San Jose
Posts: 41,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Czarcasm View Post
I was with a lesbian couple at their swap meet booth a few years back, and when April introduced Janice as her wife to a woman browsing the wares the woman responded "You can't really be married, you know".
April responded, "I am so sorry if I offended you. I meant to say this is Janice, my fuckmate".
Very good.

I have no issues with it.
  #17  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:38 AM
Miss Mapp's Avatar
Miss Mapp is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Rockville, MD
Posts: 3,132
Sure. I refer to my cousin's wife as her wife, so why shouldn't she?
__________________
Miss Elizabeth Mapp might have been forty, and she had taken advantage of this opportunity by being just a year or two older.
- E.F. Benson, "Miss Mapp"
  #18  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:40 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,624
Yes, I am so using that line the next time a rah-rah says "Your sister can't have a wife." And I'm giving the line to her because I know her wife fuckmate will want to use it.
  #19  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:41 AM
AHunter3 is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: NY (Manhattan) NY USA
Posts: 20,345
I always found the terms quaint and peculiar when used by heterosexual couples, so I was already resisting a minor flinch before gay and lesbian folks began using them. If anything, I think their use of it may be defusing the terms for me somewhat.
  #20  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:43 AM
Novelty Bobble is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherCadfael View Post
While it is a perfectly reasonable locution, I find it just slightly jarring to hear, probably because of its novelty. I assume that, as the phrase becomes more common, I will lose the slight double-take I do when I hear it.
Yes, pretty much exactly that. After aeons of husband/wife having a very strict definition and usage plus the rarity of actually hearing it used in a new context, it is bound to take a period for it to become the new normal.

But of course I'm fine with it, what the heck else are you supposed to call your legally-approved husband or wife?
__________________
I'm saving this space for the first good insult hurled my way
  #21  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:45 AM
RealityChuck's Avatar
RealityChuck is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Schenectady, NY, USA
Posts: 42,580
I first saw it back several years ago, about six months after NY legalized same-sex marriages. I was at a conference, meeting a group of people from local colleges. One guy introduced another guy as "my husband."

It was like a record scratch in my head. Then I thought, "Oh, right, you can do that now" and went on. It didn't bother me, but it did cause a moment of confusion.
__________________
"If a person saying he was something was all there was to it, this country'd be full of rich men and good-looking women. Too bad it isn't that easy.... In short, when someone else says you're a writer, that's when you're a writer... not before."
Purveyor of fine science fiction since 1982.

Last edited by RealityChuck; 07-09-2019 at 11:46 AM.
  #22  
Old 07-09-2019, 11:53 AM
Chronos's Avatar
Chronos is online now
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 83,802
I was saying even back before same-sex marriage was legally recognized that gay people should call their partners "husband" or "wife", as well as going through whatever ceremonies they deemed appropriate. Governments don't marry people; people marry each other.

It does make me do a mental adjustment whenever I hear it, but only in the sense that I'm adding "so-and-so is gay" and "so-and-so is married" to my mental list of information known about so-and-so. And I've had to make similar mental adjustments on learning that straight people who I thought were single were actually married.
  #23  
Old 07-09-2019, 12:01 PM
manson1972's Avatar
manson1972 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 11,399
Fine with me. People can call themselves and their loved ones anything they want, as long as it's consensual.
  #24  
Old 07-09-2019, 12:08 PM
Two Many Cats is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 4,714
I chose "okay with it" because I'm not "squicked" at all, but yeah, I sort of do a surprised eyebrow twitch for a second still.

That'll go away in time. I don't notice Ms-ssss anymore at all.
  #25  
Old 07-09-2019, 12:21 PM
Tired and Cranky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,452
This is as natural to me as referring to my own parents as "mother" and "father." There is nothing unusual about the relationship or the labels. If it's someone I don't know and they didn't ping my gaydar, I might have a quarter second or so when I am processing two new pieces of information about them rather than just one at a time.
  #26  
Old 07-09-2019, 12:25 PM
Emergency911 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: @St. Louis, MO
Posts: 283
I have no problem with it.
I work with a married gay man, I know them both well and yet he will still refer to "his husband" rather than by name. They both know my wife and I so when I am talking about my wife, I will refer to her by her name. I asked why he seems to insist on saying "my husband" when we all know each other. He said that he still likes the "ring of it" as well as watching other people's often humorous reactions. As a side note, they are still in their newlywed stage, whereas my wife and I have been married for several years. I still find it humorous to hear about things they do, even if they don't like it. For instance, they are pretty down to earth people, but they will dress up, go to a fancy dinner and then complain about the cost, having to dress up, etc. I ask them why they do it and they always say "that is what married people do, we're married, so we have to do it too." Explaining to them that not all married couples go out to "fancy dinners", etc doesn't help.
And yes, they are young and still believe that sitcoms and other television shows are actually documentaries.
  #27  
Old 07-09-2019, 12:32 PM
Dallas Jones is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Orygun forest
Posts: 4,853
I like it much better than "partner."

I was in a bar talking to a guy I hadn't met before. Another guy comes in and sits down next to us and the first guy introduces him as his partner Bob. Ok, a couple gay guys, no problem with that.

The talking turns to the subject of home remodeling, which I am doing a little while on vacation. Turns out the first guy I was talking to is a general building contractor doing some work in the area. Bob is his business partner.

Ok, a couple of non-gay guys.
  #28  
Old 07-09-2019, 12:46 PM
Dahnlor's Avatar
Dahnlor is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 801
I have to confess to being one of the less-than-10% to choose "squicks me out a little," though that's probably overstating it. It's probably more like how Shodan puts it, where there's a moment of "ohhhhh" and then being totally OK with it. I think I'm more confused when someone uses the word "partner" when referring to a heterosexual relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Novelty Bobble View Post
But of course I'm fine with it, what the heck else are you supposed to call your legally-approved husband or wife?
I believe "spouse" is a perfectly fine word. Granted, while its gender-neutrality may avoid the flash of cognitive dissonance that "husband" or "wife" may cause, it would probably make me wonder why they didn't say "husband" or "wife".
  #29  
Old 07-09-2019, 01:03 PM
Telemark's Avatar
Telemark is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Yet again, Titletown
Posts: 22,682
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dallas Jones View Post
Ok, a couple of non-gay guys.
Unless there's more information than you've shared, there's no reason to assume that.
  #30  
Old 07-09-2019, 01:09 PM
ZipperJJ's Avatar
ZipperJJ is offline
Just Lovely and Delicious
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 25,327
I've got several gay friends who are married (some are divorced already!) so it's not an issue for me. It comes up on TV shows and in movies a lot too so, it's "normalized" in my world already.
  #31  
Old 07-09-2019, 01:10 PM
DigitalC is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Obamatopia
Posts: 11,067
Even the question seems weird to me. I can't even imagine the mentality of someone who is bothered by this.

Last edited by DigitalC; 07-09-2019 at 01:11 PM.
  #32  
Old 07-09-2019, 01:23 PM
Voyager's Avatar
Voyager is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Deep Space
Posts: 45,944
No problem in person or in writing. And when I hear it on Wheel of Fortune, I'm a bit happy since when it is accepted on this mainstream "America's Game" TV show, SSM has won.
  #33  
Old 07-09-2019, 01:24 PM
Novelty Bobble is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dahnlor View Post
I believe "spouse" is a perfectly fine word. Granted, while its gender-neutrality may avoid the flash of cognitive dissonance that "husband" or "wife" may cause, it would probably make me wonder why they didn't say "husband" or "wife".
it is accurate certainly, but I can't think of a situation where I'd ever introduce my wife as my "spouse". It seems awfully legalistic and formal.
__________________
I'm saving this space for the first good insult hurled my way
  #34  
Old 07-09-2019, 01:34 PM
Pábitel is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Hardwick, VT
Posts: 1,449
Gay folks have been husbanding and wifing here in Vermont for a decade now. I would be surprised if they called them anything else.
__________________
"Those that would give up Essential Liberty for a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
--- Ben Franklin
  #35  
Old 07-09-2019, 02:40 PM
Rick Kitchen's Avatar
Rick Kitchen is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Citrus Heights, CA, USA
Posts: 16,870
I voted "I'm okay with it" because there was no "How does it possibly make any difference to anybody how I possibly feel about it?"
  #36  
Old 07-09-2019, 02:59 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,840
I don't know if "my husband" or "my wife" should realty be used. I think "My legally wedded husband/wife in the eyes of God" is much better.
  #37  
Old 07-09-2019, 03:16 PM
Staggerlee is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 1,981
Sorry; please scratch my accidental 'squicks me out a bit' vote. I didn't read the question/OP properly and missed the same-sex angle. The possessive sound of 'my' husband/wife very slightly rankles me, so I prefer to use my wife's name, where it's understood.
  #38  
Old 07-09-2019, 03:17 PM
Dinsdale is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2000
Posts: 18,311
Yeah - I really couldn't care less whatever anyone wants to call anyone else. But I do find it mildly novel as opposed to the familiar "partner". Am encountering it more and more, and sense the novelty is wearing off.

I conduct hearings, and when someone has a witness, I wish to know their relation - friend, neighbor, whatever. A year ago, my hearing same sex wife/husband was rare (Chicago area). Now, it is not at all uncommon.
__________________
I used to be disgusted.
Now I try to be amused.
  #39  
Old 07-09-2019, 03:22 PM
StusBlues is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 4,603
I'm pretty frickin far beyond OK with it. What other term would one use?

I've been noticing some of my Lesbian friends taking their wives' names. THAT unsettles me a bit for some odd reason (like, why?), but it's none of my business.
__________________
"I'm scared, sir." --Lieutenant George St Barleigh

"How much easier life would be if people asked outright and took no for an answer." --Annie Xmas
  #40  
Old 07-09-2019, 03:25 PM
Sangahyando is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 2,335
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
OTHO, when a man on my cashier line told the obviously Orthodox Jewish woman behind him "I'm sorry. My husband had to go out to the car to get our card" she did not look horrified or go into spasms over it. Her only words were "That's all right." It made me feel good and I told her so.
Reading this -- I wonder whether her thoughts might have been along the lines of "dot kon nor a goy" -- "nothing these demented Gentiles get up to, can surprise me" : and reacted accordingly ?

For myself -- same, essentially, as BrotherCadfael and Shodan and others -- I'm old, and unused-to: a momentary double-take, then, "OK". I have no intellectual or moral objections; and people's usage in this area, does me no harm of any kind.
  #41  
Old 07-09-2019, 03:42 PM
Treppenwitz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 742
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sangahyando View Post
.......For myself -- same, essentially, as BrotherCadfael and Shodan and others -- I'm old, and unused-to: a momentary double-take, then, "OK". I have no intellectual or moral objections; and people's usage in this area, does me no harm of any kind.
I was wondering which post to +1. I think this "compilation" is the perfect one.

j
  #42  
Old 07-09-2019, 03:52 PM
Hilarity N. Suze is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Denver
Posts: 7,934
It's a little jarring, because I'm of the generation that used to say things like, "Between the job, the kids, the house, and my husband, I just can't fill everyone's needs...what I need is a wife." (Professional women said this.) If you think about it it's kind of a put-down, the wife being the one who takes care of everything home-based and everybody in the home. Kind of an unpaid servant. What the wives of our male colleagues did.

But yeah, what else should they call them?
  #43  
Old 07-09-2019, 03:58 PM
Ludovic is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: America's Wing
Posts: 29,987
I'm temporarily confused by it but have nothing against it. I'd be a lot more confused if someone refers to their spouse as "&q" like in the poll question!
  #44  
Old 07-09-2019, 04:03 PM
Ann Hedonia's Avatar
Ann Hedonia is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,274
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dallas Jones View Post
I like it much better than "partner."

I was in a bar talking to a guy I hadn't met before. Another guy comes in and sits down next to us and the first guy introduces him as his partner Bob. Ok, a couple gay guys, no problem with that.

The talking turns to the subject of home remodeling, which I am doing a little while on vacation. Turns out the first guy I was talking to is a general building contractor doing some work in the area. Bob is his business partner.

Ok, a couple of non-gay guys.
Reminds me of two men I was working with on a construction project. There was an age difference that appeared to be about 10- 15 years. They ran a general construction business together. I worked with them for some time and it was apparent through our conversations that they lived together. I thought they were a couple and I didn’t really question it.

Then one day the younger one said something along the lines of “Sometimes I wonder what my Mom sees in him”. THAT was when I did the mental double take. Turns out the older guy was the young guy’s stepfather and they all lived in the same home. I might have figured it out if the age difference had been greater but I guess Mom liked younger guys)
  #45  
Old 07-09-2019, 04:31 PM
Napier is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Mid Atlantic, USA
Posts: 9,489
Well, heavens, of course.

I do have a preference that straight marrieds use "spouse" and gay marrieds use "husband" or "wife" because I think there's too much gendering going on already, but also think normalizing SSM is a goal worth gendering for.

We all have a lot of catching up to do.
  #46  
Old 07-09-2019, 05:57 PM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 43,785
Yeah, I'm ok with it. So is my husband.
  #47  
Old 07-09-2019, 06:19 PM
Wheelz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,552
In my relatively short time living and working in San Francisco (about 6 years), I've become so used to this that the genderfication of the terms barely even registers anymore. Any person I encounter of any gender may mention their husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend or partner or spouse or whatever term they may choose, and I'm totally unfazed no matter what.

In years past, I may have done a quick mental double-take, but that doesn't mean I have a problem with using the terms or have ever been in any way "squicked out." On the contrary, I think it's great!
  #48  
Old 07-09-2019, 07:20 PM
Melbourne is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,110
Nobody I know uses the terms "husband" or "wife" very often. I would think those terms slightly unusual in a hetro-normative couple. Nothing wrong with it, but those aren't words commonly used. If a gay couple used those terms, I would immediately think that they were using the words in a kind of Orwellian thought control manipulation of their partner or audience, trying to force the partner or friends to see some kind of weird archaic dominate/submissive relationship.
  #49  
Old 07-09-2019, 08:17 PM
CookingWithGas's Avatar
CookingWithGas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Tysons Corner, VA, USA
Posts: 13,214
I think it's fine. If you're a man married to a man you have a husband, simple as that. But I am still not used to hearing it and am still recalibrating. But it's certainly "okay"!
__________________
Making the world a better place one fret at a time.
| | |·| |·| |·| |·| | |:| | |·| |·|
  #50  
Old 07-09-2019, 08:30 PM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Middle ear
Posts: 6,432
A lot less confusing than, say, a man referring to his male partner as "my wife".
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:02 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017