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Old 07-19-2019, 07:58 PM
Ynnad is offline
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Jokes that Used to be Funny


They finally found a cure for herpes. ... Extra Strength Tylenol.

(1) Does anyone else remember why this joke was funny at one time?

(2) Does anyone have examples of jokes that used to be funny but now just leave people scratching their head and going "Huh?"
  #2  
Old 07-19-2019, 08:21 PM
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Back in the early '80s, someone had randomly laced some Extra Strength Tylenol with cyanide, and several people died.
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Old 07-19-2019, 08:21 PM
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They finally found a cure for herpes. ... Extra Strength Tylenol.

(1) Does anyone else remember why this joke was funny at one time?

Was it from the time period of the Tylenol poisoning, thus providing a cure for any number of ailments?
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Old 07-19-2019, 09:10 PM
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President Donald Trump. When it was a ridiculous idea, it was funny; when it became real, not so much.
  #5  
Old 07-19-2019, 10:05 PM
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Within 24 hours after the Challenger explosion. . .

What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts

It was revived after the Columbia disaster, but had lost even its dark humor by then.
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Old 07-19-2019, 10:30 PM
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Within 24 hours after the Challenger explosion. . .
I seem to remember hearing it in the school lunchroom the same day.
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Old 07-20-2019, 02:27 AM
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Well, more of an inside joke....

I know the principles of a design firm that did work at The Windows On the World restaurant on the top of the World Trade Center back in the 1990’s. When it was said and done and they made a zillion compromises to keep the client happy, they hated it. And they frequently talked about how much they hated it. One of them frequently told a story about going to see the movie Independence Day. At the point where the aliens blasted the World Trade Center, she turned to her husband and said “Thank God, our reputation is saved!”

I can pinpoint the moment when this ceased to be funny down to the minute.

Last edited by Ann Hedonia; 07-20-2019 at 02:27 AM.
  #8  
Old 07-20-2019, 03:31 AM
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Three pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for their respective babies.

Suddenly the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.

"What was that?", the other two ask, curiously.

"Calcium tablet. Good for mommy, good for baby", she replies, patting her stomach affectionately.

Satisfied, all three continue with their knitting. Five minutes later, the second one stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.

"What was that?", the other two enquire.

"Vitamin tablet", she replies, “Good for mommy, good for baby" and she pats her stomach affectionately.

All three smile and continue busily with their knitting. Five minutes later, the last woman stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.

"What was that?" ask the other two.

"Thalidomide. I can’t knit sleeves."
========================
Did you hear that Karen Carpenter was canonized?
She's the patron saint of Ethiopia.
========================
What's worse than Michael Jackson beating it?
Michael Jackson and Boy George beating it til they cum a chameleon.
========================
Jeffrey Dahmer's parents came for a visit.
His mother said, "I don't like your neighbors".
He said, "That's OK, just eat your vegetables".
========================
Did you hear that Jeffrey Dahmer got out of jail?
The judge said bail would cost him an arm and a leg. So he went to the fridge and got them.
  #9  
Old 07-20-2019, 07:34 AM
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What kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie.
  #10  
Old 07-20-2019, 08:24 AM
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Two guys in heavy winter gear, holding clubs, standing in a vast field of dead baby seals.

The one turns to the other and says Got anything for a headache?

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 07-20-2019 at 08:25 AM.
  #11  
Old 07-20-2019, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
Back in the early '80s, someone had randomly laced some Extra Strength Tylenol with cyanide, and several people died.
additionally, herpes was just starting to be widespread and was uncureable(is that a word?)
  #12  
Old 07-20-2019, 08:53 AM
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I suspect that herpes was just starting to be widely recognized, but that it was widespread long, long before then.

But then, it's still vastly under-recognized.
  #13  
Old 07-20-2019, 09:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kent Clark View Post
Within 24 hours after the Challenger explosion. . .

What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts

It was revived after the Columbia disaster, but had lost even its dark humor by then.
The other one I remember from the Challenger disaster was "No... a Bud Light!" Without knowing about the Bud Light ad campaign that was popular at the time, the joke makes no sense.
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  #14  
Old 07-20-2019, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by mbh View Post
Jeffrey Dahmer's parents came for a visit.
His mother said, "I don't like your neighbors".
He said, "That's OK, just eat your vegetables".
========================
Did you hear that Jeffrey Dahmer got out of jail?
The judge said bail would cost him an arm and a leg. So he went to the fridge and got them.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt?
"You gonna eat that?"

What did they find at Jeffrey Dahmer's autopsy?
Jimmy Hoffa.
  #15  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kent Clark View Post
Within 24 hours after the Challenger explosion. . .

What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts

It was revived after the Columbia disaster, but had lost even its dark humor by then.
What did Christa McAuliffe say to her class before she left to fly on Challenger?
"You feed the hamsters, and I'll feed the fish."

How many astronauts can you fit in a VW Beetle?
12. Two in the front, three in the back, and seven in the ash tray.
  #16  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:19 AM
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What did William Kennedy Smith say to his date?
"If you don't have sex with me, I'll have my uncle drive you home."
  #17  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:25 AM
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What is Pee Wee Herman's favorite baseball team? The Expos! (get it, "expose"?)
  #18  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by DaveRaver View Post
What is Pee Wee Herman's favorite baseball team? The Expos! (get it, "expose"?)
Funniest joke he ever told was at the MTV Music Awards right after the scandal. "Heard any good jokes lately?"
  #19  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:42 AM
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that's what she said! Is getting really tired.
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It's too late.
  #20  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by DaveRaver View Post
What is Pee Wee Herman's favorite baseball team? The Expos! (get it, "expose"?)
The way I heard it, it was the Expos and the Yanks.

==========================

Why is Michael Jackson like K-Mart?
They both have little boys' pants half-off.

How do you know when it's bedtime at Neverland Ranch?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
  #21  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:49 AM
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Who were two men that were shot in a theater?

Abraham Lincoln and the guy sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman
  #22  
Old 07-20-2019, 11:37 AM
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What's the hardest thing about having AIDS?

Convincing your mother that you're Haitian.
  #23  
Old 07-20-2019, 12:32 PM
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What has feathers, three eyes, clucks, and glows in the dark?
Chicken Kiev (just after Chernobyl)


Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-three-year-olds?
Because there are twenty of them!
  #24  
Old 07-20-2019, 12:47 PM
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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.
  #25  
Old 07-20-2019, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kent Clark View Post
Within 24 hours after the Challenger explosion. . .

What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts

It was revived after the Columbia disaster, but had lost even its dark humor by then.
That’s not the worst of them, either:

What was the last command Houston gave the Challenger? “Let the woman drive!”

Cruelty and misogyny, in a little toxic bundle. Truthfully, it wasn’t funny then, either. I’m ashamed to say I laughed at it back in the day.
  #26  
Old 07-20-2019, 02:37 PM
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Did you hear what they found in Jeffrey Dahmers bathtub?

Head and Shoulders
  #27  
Old 07-20-2019, 03:13 PM
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How dud Jessica Savitch die?

Interviewing Natalie Wood.
  #28  
Old 07-20-2019, 03:13 PM
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Quote:
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What's the hardest thing about having AIDS?

Convincing your mother that you're Haitian.

Similar to the Need Another Seven Astronauts joke, there was one about the meaning of AIDS that started with "Another Infected."
  #29  
Old 07-20-2019, 03:19 PM
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Q: Why did it take Ted Kennedy so long to report the accident in Chappaquiddick?

A: Have you ever tried to dress a girl underwater?
  #30  
Old 07-20-2019, 03:48 PM
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How do they know Vic Morrow had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the bushes.

Morrow and two children were killed in a helicopter accident while filming the Twilight Zone movie.
  #31  
Old 07-20-2019, 07:31 PM
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What is Pee Wee Herman's favorite baseball team? The Expos! (get it, "expose"?)
At the time of Paul Reubens' arrest, Wilt Chamberlain's autobiography had just been published. So the joke I heard was, "Wilt Chamberlain slept with 20,000 women [which was the claim he made in the book] and he's a national hero. Meanwhile, Pee-wee Herman practices safe sex and he's a pariah."
  #32  
Old 07-20-2019, 07:40 PM
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Jeffrey Dahmer was last seen heading to Waco with a bottle of BBQ sauce.

How do you pick up Branch Davidian men/women?
With a Dustbuster.
  #33  
Old 07-20-2019, 08:12 PM
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when Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson tied around the same time :

Saint Peter is at the gates and looing over her life saying well now ....you did cheesecake modeling but you entertained people on tv and the movies and you used your fame for charitable good works and helped out a lot of people ...

So you go in . Now you get one last wish and she says "i wish for all the children to be safe in the world"

he says "done" and she steps in and then he looks over to an assistant ...Call hell we need to take Jackson asap .....
  #34  
Old 07-20-2019, 09:01 PM
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Last radio message heard from the Challenger. "Oh, what's this little red button for?"
  #35  
Old 07-20-2019, 09:42 PM
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Why does Michael Jackson love Walmart?
Little boys pants are half off.

What would Princess Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.

I heard Princess Di was on the radio the other day... and the dashboard, and the steering wheel...
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  #36  
Old 07-20-2019, 09:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pkbites View Post
Did you hear what they found in Jeffrey Dahmers bathtub?

Head and Shoulders
That's recycled from the 1983 Twilight Zone movie accident.

Hey, did you know how they found out Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his Head and Shoulders in the bushes.
  #37  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Madam Librarian View Post
That's recycled from the 1983 Twilight Zone movie accident.

Hey, did you know how they found out Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his Head and Shoulders in the bushes.
I know of the accident and I've seen the footage of the helicopter mishap though the movie came out before I was even born, I didn't know Head and Shoulders was even around back then, seems to be the punchline in a lot of these jokes though.
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Last edited by pool; 07-20-2019 at 10:03 PM.
  #38  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madam Librarian View Post
That's recycled from the 1983 Twilight Zone movie accident.

Hey, did you know how they found out Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his Head and Shoulders in the bushes.
Yes, I did know that.
  #39  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:11 PM
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I just looked it up and I'm shocked--Head & Shoulders goes back to 1961! After 10 years of clinical trials.

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 07-20-2019 at 10:12 PM.
  #40  
Old 07-20-2019, 10:42 PM
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During the OJ Simpson trial in 1995, Christopher Reeve suffered a spinal cord injury which left him paralyzed.

So right after the trial ended:

What's the difference between Christopher Reeve and OJ?
OJ's gonna walk.
  #41  
Old 07-21-2019, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by pool View Post
Why does Michael Jackson love Walmart?
Little boys pants are half off.

What would Princess Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.

I heard Princess Di was on the radio the other day... and the dashboard, and the steering wheel...
What was the last thing that went through Princess Di's mind? Her ass.
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  #42  
Old 07-21-2019, 11:07 AM
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A bit off topic, but not completely...

Just yesterday I was killing some time online and I stumbled upon a documentary about Gilbert Gottfried, who I only knew from seeing a handful of times on late-night talk shows and the Aflac commercials.

It was very interesting, and I learned a LOT about him that really surprised me (for some reason I had him pegged as a "Clean Comic" which is 180 degrees from the truth) but they showed a bunch of his older material throughout the film, including a series of jokes he was telling right after the Pee Wee Herman scandal broke.

My favorite was "Well, if public masturbation is a crime, I guess I belong on death row!" which I admit isn't the world's best joke, but his delivery, in his unique, trademark voice (which is 100% an affectation) got a pretty good laugh out of me, but then, for some reason, likely having to do with my many misspent years of youthful illegal hallucinogenic drug abuse, I later somehow couldn't get it out of my mind, to the extent that last night, while having a couple of beers in my local Krakow tavern, I suddenly started laughing to myself so hard that other guests actually looked concerned, so after I returned from outside when I had composed myself somewhat, my stunningly beautiful bartender friend Kaisia, whose English proficiency is pretty good but not totally, completely fluent, asked me what was so funny, and in just a second or two, mentally imagining how it would be virtually impossible to explain exactly what I was laughing about, and about how many bizzare, foriegn concepts I would need to try to expand to her about (I have known her for 4 years, and I am 100% certain she has NO idea who/what Gilbert Gottfried, Pee Wee Herman, or "Death Row" is) I exploded in a burst of fresh, vulgar laughter and hurriedly paid my tab and walked out on the mild Krakow evening to crudely snicker and snort to myself on the train all the way back home.

(oddly enough, no one wanted to sit next to me on the tram, possibly due to the little violent bursts of laughter randomly exploding from my otherwise pursed lips)

So for a joke that "Used to be funny" and candidly was probably never really all that funny back when it was brand-new, he got a bit of extra milage from it, 25 years later, 1/2 a world away, which I am sure would perversely please him if he knew.

Last edited by Royal Nonesutch; 07-21-2019 at 11:09 AM.
  #43  
Old 07-21-2019, 12:23 PM
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I've noticed when watching older TV shows or movies from, say the early 1950s, a character would make a quip/joke observation "wall to wall" something or other, referring to a room full of....whatever.

I guess that's when wall-to-wall carpeting was becoming more popular, and so the wall-to-wall joke was thought to be clever then. Today it's lost it's punch.
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Old 07-21-2019, 02:52 PM
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I'm ashamed to admit most of these I still find pretty damn funny.
  #45  
Old 07-21-2019, 03:27 PM
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You get many, many examples of this from old talk show opening monologues. For instance, last night I was watching on one of those classic TV channels the Carson from August 1st 1973 (the famous Uri Geller episode) and a chunk of the monologue was devoted to joking about the hair of someone testifying at the Watergate hearings.
  #46  
Old 07-21-2019, 04:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madam Librarian View Post
That's recycled from the 1983 Twilight Zone movie accident.

Hey, did you know how they found out Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his Head and Shoulders in the bushes.
Oh hell, that one goes back to Jaws. How did they know the woman killed at the beginning had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
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  #47  
Old 07-21-2019, 05:52 PM
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Not a joke, but a line from the movie Johnny Dangerously. It was the scene where Joe Piscopo’s character was showing off his revolver.

“It’s an 88 Magnum. Shoots through schools!”

Would not be well received today.
  #48  
Old 07-21-2019, 08:02 PM
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The Shuttle explosion joke that I remember was:

Did you know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes?

Yeah, one blew this way and one blew that way.
  #49  
Old 07-21-2019, 08:17 PM
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Before my time, but it's one I heard somewhere, so I'll share it.
Why did they let Ed Gein out on Valentine's Day?
So he could dig up a date

Quote:
Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Two guys in heavy winter gear, holding clubs, standing in a vast field of dead baby seals.

The one turns to the other and says Got anything for a headache?
Was that another Tylenol joke?

Last edited by Guinastasia; 07-21-2019 at 08:18 PM.
  #50  
Old 07-21-2019, 08:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Royal Nonesutch View Post
A bit off topic, but not completely...

Just yesterday I was killing some time online and I stumbled upon a documentary about Gilbert Gottfried, who I only knew from seeing a handful of times on late-night talk shows and the Aflac commercials.

It was very interesting, and I learned a LOT about him that really surprised me (for some reason I had him pegged as a "Clean Comic" which is 180 degrees from the truth) but they showed a bunch of his older material throughout the film, including a series of jokes he was telling right after the Pee Wee Herman scandal broke.

My favorite was "Well, if public masturbation is a crime, I guess I belong on death row!" which I admit isn't the world's best joke, but his delivery, in his unique, trademark voice (which is 100% an affectation) got a pretty good laugh out of me, but then, for some reason, likely having to do with my many misspent years of youthful illegal hallucinogenic drug abuse, I later somehow couldn't get it out of my mind, to the extent that last night, while having a couple of beers in my local Krakow tavern, I suddenly started laughing to myself so hard that other guests actually looked concerned, so after I returned from outside when I had composed myself somewhat, my stunningly beautiful bartender friend Kaisia, whose English proficiency is pretty good but not totally, completely fluent, asked me what was so funny, and in just a second or two, mentally imagining how it would be virtually impossible to explain exactly what I was laughing about, and about how many bizzare, foriegn concepts I would need to try to expand to her about (I have known her for 4 years, and I am 100% certain she has NO idea who/what Gilbert Gottfried, Pee Wee Herman, or "Death Row" is) I exploded in a burst of fresh, vulgar laughter and hurriedly paid my tab and walked out on the mild Krakow evening to crudely snicker and snort to myself on the train all the way back home.

(oddly enough, no one wanted to sit next to me on the tram, possibly due to the little violent bursts of laughter randomly exploding from my otherwise pursed lips)

So for a joke that "Used to be funny" and candidly was probably never really all that funny back when it was brand-new, he got a bit of extra milage from it, 25 years later, 1/2 a world away, which I am sure would perversely please him if he knew.
jeez dude or dudette you are way too wordy. throttle back...your not as funny as you think you are.
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