Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:44 PM
King_of_the_USA is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7

I am Brian James Mingus and I am the King of the USA.


The first King was George Washington. He added the word Equity to the constitution, which refers to a King [0].

The famous Signing of the Constitution painting shows George Washington in camo, labelled King [1].

My initials are on the new penny. BJM. [2]

I've made my family tree public on Ancestry.com [3]. You can download my gedcom file here [4].

I've been made aware that I have a problem: no one knows about me.

Sign this petition to force Trump to recognize me!

Or debate that I'm not the King. However, you're going to have to prove me wrong. This is not a drill. I need your help. Help me prove it and make it real!

- Brian

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/pet...recognize-me-0

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equity_(law)
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scene_..._United_States
[2] https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...e_Cent_Rev.png
[3] https://www.ancestry.com/family-tree...8187824/family
[4] https://drive.google.com/file/d/10ar...iCVJyzA8B/view

Last edited by King_of_the_USA; 08-10-2019 at 05:45 PM.
  #2  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:47 PM
nightshadea is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: a condo in hell 10th lvl
Posts: 5,451
spam although id love to keep this up just for the lulz......
  #3  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:53 PM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,427
It certainly seems like spam.

This guy is probably posting this all over the net in an attempt to get his 15 minutes of internet fame.

We'll probably never hear from him again.
__________________
Check out my t-shirt designs in Marketplace. https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...php?p=21131885

Last edited by davidm; 08-10-2019 at 05:56 PM.
  #4  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:53 PM
ExTank's Avatar
ExTank is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Creve Coeur, MO
Posts: 6,788
I didn't vote for you.
  #5  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:59 PM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,427
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExTank View Post
I didn't vote for you.
Why not? He can't be any worse than what we already have.
__________________
Check out my t-shirt designs in Marketplace. https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...php?p=21131885
  #6  
Old 08-10-2019, 05:59 PM
Kobal2's Avatar
Kobal2 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 18,395
Can't be. The US isn't a kingdom, it's an empire, and its last Emperor died without an heir.
  #7  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:00 PM
HurricaneDitka is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 13,977
Can I run your 2020 campaign? My fees are very reasonable.
  #8  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:07 PM
What Exit?'s Avatar
What Exit? is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Central NJ (near Bree)
Posts: 29,171
Hey Brian, do you have that $20 you owe me?
  #9  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:07 PM
King_of_the_USA is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7
It's true. Look at the facts.
  #10  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:11 PM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,427
Quote:
Originally Posted by King_of_the_USA View Post
It's true. Look at the facts.
Those are facts for some very specialized definitions of "fact".
__________________
Check out my t-shirt designs in Marketplace. https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...php?p=21131885
  #11  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:12 PM
Chronos's Avatar
Chronos is offline
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 84,429
Did you read your cites? "Equity" was the part of English law that wasn't based on the monarchy.
  #12  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:16 PM
EinsteinsHund's Avatar
EinsteinsHund is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NRW, Germany
Posts: 2,920

I am Brian James Mingus and I am the King of the USA.


Nah, obviously Elvis Costello is the King Of America.
__________________
And if my thought-dreams could be seen
They’d probably put my head in a guillotine
  #13  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:20 PM
Kobal2's Avatar
Kobal2 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 18,395
Quote:
Originally Posted by davidm View Post
Those are facts for some very specialized definitions of "fact".
I mean, by modern standards of "facts", it's not even notable .
  #14  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:20 PM
King_of_the_USA is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
Did you read your cites? "Equity" was the part of English law that wasn't based on the monarchy.
I believe the source to cite for this is the jurist Cokayne. He debated with the king as to whether his authority to make decisions was due to god or the people. And he was fired for it.
  #15  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:22 PM
Aspidistra is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 5,458
King's a lame-ass title. Go Emperor
__________________
Science created the modern world. Politics is doing its best to destroy it.
  #16  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:22 PM
King_of_the_USA is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by davidm View Post
Why not? He can't be any worse than what we already have.
This is very true.

Now listen carefully when I tell you that the CIA has given me a demonstration of technology that is decades more advanced than the public knows about. They have brought an entire city alive with AI including the people.

I will give you this technology. I just need you to prove that your democracy works by forcing Trump to acknowledge that America has always had a king in secret and that I'm it. It's that simple.
  #17  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:30 PM
Chronos's Avatar
Chronos is offline
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 84,429
It seems to me that the CIA (who apparently already recognize you) are in a much better position to do that.
  #18  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:32 PM
King_of_the_USA is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
It seems to me that the CIA (who apparently already recognize you) are in a much better position to do that.
They can't declassify it. It's up to the President.
  #19  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:34 PM
Aquadementia's Avatar
Aquadementia is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,901
I would also like to part of your 2020 campaign, which of course would mean I would need to be knighted, my liege.
  #20  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:37 PM
King_of_the_USA is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 7
Look at the facts.

This painting was commissioned by Congress for the 150th anniversary of the Constitution. It is 20 by 30 feet. It hangs in the Capitol building.

It features George Washington. Below him is a the profile of a man in camo who looks exactly like George Washington.

The man in camo (George Washington) is labeled Daniel Jenifer, number 20. The chair is situated as a crown above his head. George Washington is number 1. The numbers 20 and 1 are right next to each other. In the legend, number 21 is Rufus King.

Painting:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ted_States.jpg

Legend:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...itedStates.jpg
  #21  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:45 PM
Ravenman is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 26,269
If someone in that picture is wearing camouflage, then William Jackson is giving the Boy Scout oath, Charles Pickney is giving a Hitler salute, and George Read consists of nothing more than a disembodied head.

Prove me wrong.
  #22  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:46 PM
Yllaria is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Stockton
Posts: 10,854
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobal2 View Post
Can't be. The US isn't a kingdom, it's an empire, and its last Emperor died without an heir.
I also stand in salute to the memory of our great Emperor!
  #23  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:46 PM
Sunny Daze's Avatar
Sunny Daze is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Bay Area Urban Sprawl
Posts: 12,513
I would like to note, that I am descended from the Stewart line. I expect to be contacted by England and Scotland any minute now.

Who cares about the painting by the way? The story you tell about it is meaningless. Further, we don't let paintings select our government any more than watery women get to lob scimitars at future kings.
  #24  
Old 08-10-2019, 06:57 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle's Avatar
Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 3,893
I thought we were an anarcho-syndicalist commune?
  #25  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:01 PM
Moriarty's Avatar
Moriarty is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Denver, CO, USA
Posts: 2,773
Quote:
Originally Posted by King_of_the_USA View Post
... Cokayne...
It used to cause me paranoia, too.
  #26  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:07 PM
Andy L is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,518
Quote:
Originally Posted by King_of_the_USA View Post
The first King was George Washington. He added the word Equity to the constitution, which refers to a King [0].

The famous Signing of the Constitution painting shows George Washington in camo, labelled King [1].

My initials are on the new penny. BJM. [2]

I've made my family tree public on Ancestry.com [3]. You can download my gedcom file here [4].

I've been made aware that I have a problem: no one knows about me.

Sign this petition to force Trump to recognize me!

Or debate that I'm not the King. However, you're going to have to prove me wrong. This is not a drill. I need your help. Help me prove it and make it real!

- Brian

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/pet...recognize-me-0

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equity_(law)
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scene_..._United_States
[2] https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...e_Cent_Rev.png
[3] https://www.ancestry.com/family-tree...8187824/family
[4] https://drive.google.com/file/d/10ar...iCVJyzA8B/view
Very funny.

George Washington was not King.
Paintings do not have force of law
The initials on the penny stand for Joseph F. Menna, someone who did actual work by designing the penny (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Menna )
It doesn't matter who you're designed from. Sorry.
Petitions don't help - you'll have to battle Trump in hand-to-hand combat.
  #27  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:18 PM
EinsteinsHund's Avatar
EinsteinsHund is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NRW, Germany
Posts: 2,920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy L View Post
Very funny.
Petitions don't help - you'll have to battle Trump in hand-to-hand combat.
In an amphitheater, gladiator style? I'm all for it!

ETA: And I will be rooting for the KING!
__________________
And if my thought-dreams could be seen
They’d probably put my head in a guillotine

Last edited by EinsteinsHund; 08-10-2019 at 07:19 PM.
  #28  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:18 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 16,181
Hey, Brian, I have 2 royal pains in the ass Siamese cats I'd like to gift your royal house. Send me a box and some shipping cash and they're yours. Or better yet just give me your c.c. number. I have a Nigerian Prince who needs trade deal with you too. Can I put him in touch?
  #29  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:21 PM
Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 81,369
Make me Duke of New York and I'm in.
  #30  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:25 PM
blondebear is offline
Shouting Grasshopper
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Meridian/280
Posts: 14,060
You know, Godzilla is King of the Monsters, Paul Stanley is the King of the Night Time World, Jim Morrison was the Lizard King, Jim Gaffigan is King Baby, Kevin James was King of Queens, Michael Jackson King of Pop...the list goes on and on.

I guess there's always room for one more.

Last edited by blondebear; 08-10-2019 at 07:26 PM.
  #31  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:41 PM
Kropotkin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: North
Posts: 763
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slow Moving Vehicle View Post
I thought we were an anarcho-syndicalist commune?
You’re fooling yourself.
  #32  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:42 PM
Defensive Indifference is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 7,106
I aspire to be the King of 42nd Street one day.
  #33  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:47 PM
cochrane is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 21,793
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy L View Post
Very funny.

George Washington was not King.
Paintings do not have force of law
The initials on the penny stand for Joseph F. Menna, someone who did actual work by designing the penny (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Menna )
It doesn't matter who you're designed from. Sorry.
Petitions don't help - you'll have to battle Trump in hand-to-hand combat.
I wager 50,000 quatloos on the newcomer!
  #34  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:47 PM
foolsguinea is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Tornado Alley
Posts: 15,820
Look, this is somewhere on the level of the dude who tried to claim he was descended from Jesus Christ & all the Kings of France, but you know what? Sure. You can be king, OP. Do the ceremonial stuff.
  #35  
Old 08-10-2019, 07:57 PM
Ravenman is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 26,269
Quote:
Originally Posted by foolsguinea View Post
Look, this is somewhere on the level of the dude who tried to claim he was descended from Jesus Christ & all the Kings of France, but you know what? Sure. You can be king, OP. Do the ceremonial stuff.
I’m thinking of the guy who asserted that a bunch of European royalty were actually black men.
  #36  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:10 PM
Kobal2's Avatar
Kobal2 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 18,395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravenman View Post
I’m thinking of the guy who asserted that a bunch of European royalty were actually black men.
I remember that guy ! Edmond... something, right ? Although he was deadly serious about it, whereas I expect our OP here has his tongue firmly in his cheek.

Last edited by Kobal2; 08-10-2019 at 08:10 PM.
  #37  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:12 PM
DinoR is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,606
Quote:
Originally Posted by King_of_the_USA View Post
However, you're going to have to prove me wrong.
Why? You are asking us to recognize your claim. As long as we're unconvinced, you're still just a pretender making meaningless claims on the internet.

My dominantly Irish lineage makes for a tough problem for you even if you do manage to be convincing. My ancestors include minor nobility/hereditary land owners in Ireland till those silly WASPs came along to oppress us and steal our lands. Clan O'Dinorider sometimes got involved with silly English kings ...to further our own ends. Mostly my ancestors wanted to whack the heads off your ancestors. It took full on settler colonialism and ethnic cleansing to grudgingly get my ancestors to stop fighting. Even then some of clan O'Dinorider continued to show up in the history of resistance to the English. That includes moderately prominent people in the Irish War of Independence and members of the IRA/Sinn Fein during The Troubles.

It's probably best for you that I don't consider your ancestral claims relevant today. You wouldn't like my corresponding and lengthy list of bitter ancestral grievances.

Last edited by DinoR; 08-10-2019 at 08:13 PM.
  #38  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:13 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,286
I'm hoping that I can be the Duke of Earl.
  #39  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:18 PM
What Exit?'s Avatar
What Exit? is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Central NJ (near Bree)
Posts: 29,171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Nemo View Post
Make me Duke of New York and I'm in.
Dion is the King of the NY Streets.
  #40  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:19 PM
guizot is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: An East Hollywood dingbat
Posts: 8,639
You’re a FRAUD, Mingus. Won’t you ever give this up?

I’ll PROVE you wrong. Look at the facts:

This painting was commissioned by Gary’s Fresh Home-Made Burgers, for their 15th Anniversary Butt-Load-o-Burgers promotion. It is 8-1/2 by 11 inches. They stuck it under my car windshield wipers.

It features Georgie Jets (No. 5). Above him is a man in regal dress, who looks exactly like the King of America.

The man in regal dress is labeled Ed Hinkleson (No. 4). He is situated under TWO signs with the code “KING.”

Ed Hinkleson is the REAL King or America. All hail Ed Hinkleson!

YOU, James Mingus, are the puny wanna-be (No. 6) with a calculator, adding up meaningless numbers with some bullshit claim that they are somehow important.

And that’s all you’ll ever be.
PROVE ME WRONG!

Painting
  #41  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:46 PM
Sunny Daze's Avatar
Sunny Daze is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Bay Area Urban Sprawl
Posts: 12,513
Quote:
Originally Posted by guizot View Post
You’re a FRAUD, Mingus. Won’t you ever give this up?
You had me at FRAUD.
  #42  
Old 08-10-2019, 08:50 PM
What Exit?'s Avatar
What Exit? is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Central NJ (near Bree)
Posts: 29,171
No, no, Brian, please come back and tell us more.


Sorry, I'm a little bored
  #43  
Old 08-10-2019, 09:18 PM
Qadgop the Mercotan's Avatar
Qadgop the Mercotan is offline
zymolosely polydactile
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Slithering on the hull
Posts: 27,242
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kropotkin View Post
You’re fooling yourself.
We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy, in which the working classes...
  #44  
Old 08-10-2019, 09:40 PM
Aquadementia's Avatar
Aquadementia is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquadementia View Post
I would also like to part of your 2020 campaign, which of course would mean I would need to be knighted, my liege.
It's dark out now, so, have I been knighted? Or is this some sort of mispunderstanding?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slow Moving Vehicle View Post
I thought we were an anarcho-syndicalist commune?
Ohhhh.
I skipped orientation. I wasn't assigned an orgy dorm.
  #45  
Old 08-10-2019, 09:48 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 16,181
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoons View Post
I'm hoping that I can be the Duke of Earl.
That right there is funny!!
  #46  
Old 08-10-2019, 10:04 PM
DrFidelius's Avatar
DrFidelius is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Miskatonic University
Posts: 12,498
No truce with kings, no parlay with tyrants.
__________________
The opinions expressed here are my own, and do not represent any other persons, organizations, spirits, thinking machines, hive minds or other sentient beings on this world or any adjacent dimensions in the multiverse.
  #47  
Old 08-10-2019, 11:17 PM
DWMarch is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 2,115
He needs our help! Can't do it without us! Somehow knew we were just waiting for the real King of the USA to come along! Here we are with the power to remove Trump from office and we haven't done so because we enjoy the lulz and our Sovereign was absent!

It's quite a backhanded compliment, I'll give it that.
  #48  
Old 08-10-2019, 11:39 PM
Left Hand of Dorkness's Avatar
Left Hand of Dorkness is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: at the right hand of cool
Posts: 41,138
Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willnae be fooled again!

The petition is off to a great start: you've already got signers! Well, a signer. Keep it up! Because I can tell you what's gonna happen:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donald Trump, real soon
Robert Mueller wants to interview me? Fuck the Special Counsel, I won't do what he says.

A judge has ruled against me? Fuck the courts, I ain't gonna listen.

Congress wants to investigate me? Fuck Congress, the law doesn't apply to me.

But there's a petition forcing me to recognize someone? OOHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT
  #49  
Old 08-10-2019, 11:57 PM
Baron Greenback's Avatar
Baron Greenback is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 11,784
Well, I'm convinced.

You have my sword!
  #50  
Old 08-11-2019, 12:07 AM
Smapti is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 16,075
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:40 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017