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Old 08-20-2019, 01:26 PM
Scylla is offline
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Buy Me Lunchbox!


I am at Target during lunch buying the 5 things I always buy every Tuesday at Target. Turning the corner and coming towards me 20 yards away is a young mother, dragging a cart full of paper towels and such, and two young children. One of the children, perhaps 4-5 years old is screamcrying “Buy me lunchbox! I want lunchbox!,” while holding said lunchbox.

He is very very loud.

Judging people is not nice. Judging people you know nothing about is foolish and unkind, and not the kind of thing good people do. Let’s not let that stop us. I pegged her instantaneously as a nice lady who belonged to the non-corrective oblivious to all others school of child-rearing. True to form, she was taking no steps to deal with the situation.

Not my problem.

But then, suddenly, it was.

As we are about to pass the child steps in front of me, looks me straight in the eye, and scream cries “Buy me lunchbox! I want lunchbox!”

I pause for a moment, waiting for the mother to step in and do something. But she doesn't. She is actually past me now, leaving me to face her spawn.

So.... I look down at the kid, curl my lip and sneer....

It’s important here to discuss this curled lip and sneer in detail. It is literally a gift from God and a terrible terrible burden thrust upon me. I have a face capable of an expression that instantaneously engenders hatred. Remember that kid in the Maga hat? My sneer is at least ten times more punchable. It contains privilege, indifference, smug contempt, disdain. It’s undeserving insouciance makes Chevy Chase’s mugging look earnest and sincere. I can instantly start a fight just by flashing it at the wrong person. My wife has threatened to fucking kill me if I ever look at her like that. I would get sent to my room or punished as a child just for giving my parents this look. It is the nuclear bomb of facial expressions, and I usually keep it well away from sight.

But, at this moment nobody can see me but the kid. I reveal the mask of my curled lip sneer at him and hit him with about 45 megawatts of smug contempt (or maybe that look is the real me and the mask is what I show in public. It’s hard to tell.)

I lean down, look at the kid who has stopped screaming in sudden shock and I sharply say “No!” Loudly but firmly.

This is apparently more than the child can bare. He falls to the ground like he has been shot, and screams even louder.

I Am trying to figure out how to extricate myself. Do I step over the flailing child?

The mother confronts me. “Excuse me” she says softly and reasonably, in the same tone of voice that didn’t work when she was talking to her kids. “Don’t talk to my children like that.”

I am dressed well and appear perfectly normal. The nuclear sneer that just floored her child has been safely put away. She expects an acknowledgement or apology. Instead I say “Don’t tell me how to speak to beggars and I won’t tell you how to raise brats.”

I step over the child and make my exit turning my back on them both.

Except.

10 seconds later the kid is in front of me, screamcrying “Buy me lunchbox!” Again. I guess he misinterpreted his mother’s comments to me to mean that she was taking his side and that I now needed to buy him lunchbox. Or something. Anyway, here he was.

The mother is still like two aisles away trying to wrestle another child and shopping cart to come after her progeny who has now fixated on me as the buyer of lunchboxes. The kid is now far enough away from his mother that this is getting uncomfortable. I want to escape, but I don’t want to be accused of kidnapping if the kid follows me. I don’t want to cause her any discomfort by leading her kid away. At the same time, I don’t want to cause a scene and have to deal with investigating Target employees. If she says the wrong thing to them or makes an accusation this could get uncomfortable. Than too, it looks like this lady is no longer stunned by my beggar comment, and has had enough time to build up some indignation and might have a few choice words for me.

I need to escape before the mother arrives and I need the kid to not follow me. I have maybe five seconds to act before the whole situation goes tits up.

The kid is now holding up the lunchbox and not so much screaming as mewling pathetically that he wants lunchbox. It’s like he senses that I am trapped and about to give in.

I hit him with the sneer and the “No!” again, full power. Instantly he screams and falls to the ground flailing his little legs and arms in a full blown temper tantrum.

And I make my escape.

Last edited by Scylla; 08-20-2019 at 01:29 PM.
  #2  
Old 08-20-2019, 02:41 PM
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Your life may be easier if you'd just buy the kid his damn lunchbox.
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Old 08-20-2019, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Scylla View Post
I am dressed well and appear perfectly normal. The nuclear sneer that just floored her child has been safely put away. She expects an acknowledgement or apology. Instead I say “Don’t tell me how to speak to beggars and I won’t tell you how to raise brats.”
I'm sure you wish you said that. And when did giving someone such an ugly look they instantly want to punch your face in become something to be proud of?

Yes, it's terrible that the mother was letting the child carry on like that, working himself up into a nuclear meltdown and annoying everyone else in the store. But scaring the kid or snapping at him wasn't going to suddenly make him think "This mean scary man has made me realize how bad I'm being, so I will be good and quiet now."

The one who needs a clue is the mother, and she's obviously clue resistant. You can't really blame the kid for acting badly if he was never taught otherwise.

Quote:
Than too, it looks like this lady is no longer stunned by my beggar comment, and has had enough time to build up some indignation and might have a few choice words for me.
This doesn't make you look too great either. If you can't take it, don't dish it out in the first place.
  #4  
Old 08-20-2019, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Scylla View Post
I am at Target during lunch buying the 5 things I always buy every Tuesday at Target. Turning the corner and coming towards me 20 yards away is a young mother, dragging a cart full of paper towels and such, and two young children. One of the children, perhaps 4-5 years old is screamcrying “Buy me lunchbox! I want lunchbox!,” while holding said lunchbox.

He is very very loud.

Judging people is not nice. Judging people you know nothing about is foolish and unkind, and not the kind of thing good people do. Let’s not let that stop us. I pegged her instantaneously as a nice lady who belonged to the non-corrective oblivious to all others school of child-rearing. True to form, she was taking no steps to deal with the situation.

Not my problem.

But then, suddenly, it was.

As we are about to pass the child steps in front of me, looks me straight in the eye, and scream cries “Buy me lunchbox! I want lunchbox!”

I pause for a moment, waiting for the mother to step in and do something. But she doesn't. She is actually past me now, leaving me to face her spawn.

So.... I look down at the kid, curl my lip and sneer....

It’s important here to discuss this curled lip and sneer in detail. It is literally a gift from God and a terrible terrible burden thrust upon me. I have a face capable of an expression that instantaneously engenders hatred. Remember that kid in the Maga hat? My sneer is at least ten times more punchable. It contains privilege, indifference, smug contempt, disdain. It’s undeserving insouciance makes Chevy Chase’s mugging look earnest and sincere. I can instantly start a fight just by flashing it at the wrong person. My wife has threatened to fucking kill me if I ever look at her like that. I would get sent to my room or punished as a child just for giving my parents this look. It is the nuclear bomb of facial expressions, and I usually keep it well away from sight.

But, at this moment nobody can see me but the kid. I reveal the mask of my curled lip sneer at him and hit him with about 45 megawatts of smug contempt (or maybe that look is the real me and the mask is what I show in public. It’s hard to tell.)

I lean down, look at the kid who has stopped screaming in sudden shock and I sharply say “No!” Loudly but firmly.

This is apparently more than the child can bare. He falls to the ground like he has been shot, and screams even louder.

I Am trying to figure out how to extricate myself. Do I step over the flailing child?

The mother confronts me. “Excuse me” she says softly and reasonably, in the same tone of voice that didn’t work when she was talking to her kids. “Don’t talk to my children like that.”

I am dressed well and appear perfectly normal. The nuclear sneer that just floored her child has been safely put away. She expects an acknowledgement or apology. Instead I say “Don’t tell me how to speak to beggars and I won’t tell you how to raise brats.”

I step over the child and make my exit turning my back on them both.

Except.

10 seconds later the kid is in front of me, screamcrying “Buy me lunchbox!” Again. I guess he misinterpreted his mother’s comments to me to mean that she was taking his side and that I now needed to buy him lunchbox. Or something. Anyway, here he was.

The mother is still like two aisles away trying to wrestle another child and shopping cart to come after her progeny who has now fixated on me as the buyer of lunchboxes. The kid is now far enough away from his mother that this is getting uncomfortable. I want to escape, but I don’t want to be accused of kidnapping if the kid follows me. I don’t want to cause her any discomfort by leading her kid away. At the same time, I don’t want to cause a scene and have to deal with investigating Target employees. If she says the wrong thing to them or makes an accusation this could get uncomfortable. Than too, it looks like this lady is no longer stunned by my beggar comment, and has had enough time to build up some indignation and might have a few choice words for me.

I need to escape before the mother arrives and I need the kid to not follow me. I have maybe five seconds to act before the whole situation goes tits up.

The kid is now holding up the lunchbox and not so much screaming as mewling pathetically that he wants lunchbox. It’s like he senses that I am trapped and about to give in.

I hit him with the sneer and the “No!” again, full power. Instantly he screams and falls to the ground flailing his little legs and arms in a full blown temper tantrum.

And I make my escape.
And then what happened?
  #5  
Old 08-20-2019, 02:49 PM
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That is simply a thing of beauty. I applaud you, sir!
  #6  
Old 08-20-2019, 02:56 PM
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And when did giving someone such an ugly look they instantly want to punch your face in become something to be proud of?
Right after a small child accosts you in the aisles of Target.
  #7  
Old 08-20-2019, 03:12 PM
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Buy me cattle prod.

Regards,
Shodan
  #8  
Old 08-20-2019, 03:20 PM
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I'm sure you wish you said that.
Whereas my mind is busily coming up with other responses for the idiot woman. I'm currently going with "Well I wasn't going to tell him 'Yes', now was I?"

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Originally Posted by tricoteuse View Post
Yes, it's terrible that the mother was letting the child carry on like that, working himself up into a nuclear meltdown and annoying everyone else in the store. But scaring the kid or snapping at him wasn't going to suddenly make him think "This mean scary man has made me realize how bad I'm being, so I will be good and quiet now."
Good and quiet was never in the cards; the goal would apparently be "get the damn kid to stop giving me orders". Sounds like it was working fine until the idiot mother decided to get involved - and by "involved" I mean "continuing not to do anything about her brat".
  #9  
Old 08-20-2019, 03:27 PM
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I'm sure you wish you said that. And when did giving someone such an ugly look they instantly want to punch your face in become something to be proud of?
I’m kind of that shithead sort of person that thinks he is being admirably frank by saying out loud things that shouldn’t be said. Sorry.

As for being proud of my look? Well, maybe you are really good at Golf or swimming, or at the top of your profession. I go with what I got.



Quote:
Yes, it's terrible that the mother was letting the child carry on like that, working himself up into a nuclear meltdown and annoying everyone else in the store. But scaring the kid or snapping at him wasn't going to suddenly make him think "This mean scary man has made me realize how bad I'm being, so I will be good and quiet now."

The one who needs a clue is the mother, and she's obviously clue resistant. You can't really blame the kid for acting badly if he was never taught otherwise.
It felt goooood.





Quote:
This doesn't make you look too great either. If you can't take it, don't dish it out in the first place.
No fucking question that this is true.

I get that you are pointing out to me that I am not the hero of this story, and in fact, I am kind of a shithead.

I know this. Why it makes me happy is that rarely do I get to use my worst qualities in such a rewarding way.

And I was happy. I was smiling like an idiot when I walked out of Target. The encounter made my day.
  #10  
Old 08-20-2019, 03:30 PM
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You left out the part where they all clapped! That's the best part.
  #11  
Old 08-20-2019, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by tricoteuse View Post
Yes, it's terrible that the mother was letting the child carry on like that, working himself up into a nuclear meltdown and annoying everyone else in the store. But scaring the kid or snapping at him wasn't going to suddenly make him think "This mean scary man has made me realize how bad I'm being, so I will be good and quiet now."
It might make the kid realize, for the first time in his life, that there can be negative consequences to his actions and that not everyone responds to his whiny tirades by caving in and giving him what he wants.

If the kid directs his whiny tirades only toward his pushover mom in the future, the Scylla will have done the world a favor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scylla
The mother confronts me. “Excuse me” she says softly and reasonably, in the same tone of voice that didn’t work when she was talking to her kids. “Don’t talk to my children like that.”
"Tell your child not to talk to me the way he did."
  #12  
Old 08-20-2019, 03:51 PM
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A week or so back I got to witness one of those miniature disturbers of the peace.
We were at the local zoo and while the wife and kids were poking around the gift shop I decided to give my feet a rest outside and across from the monkey exhibit.
Someone's screaming offspring, not belonging to the zoo or it's inhabitants, must have had their eyes on something at the gift shop as the mother was desperately trying to lead her away from it and not having much success. Mom couldn't grasp the squirmy over sized sack of potatoes not so much because of the squirmyness but because of the size of the kid. And this wasn't the "inherited genes" over sized kid but more of the "if we don't feed her McDonald's for every meal as she requests, she'll simply starve herself to death" variety.
Anyways, the kid is wailing away and takes up position close to the handrail of the exhibit. The mom reaches out an open hand again requesting cooperation and with that the kid yells "no!" and violently jerks her head back promptly smacking the back of it good and hard against the handrail. The over-tired screams translated as "I want! I want!" now become screams of pain translated as "Oh my god! Which one of those monkeys just kicked me!"
The kid instantly becomes more receptive to mom as she scoops her up and whisks her away and I see everyone around give a little smile like the sun just came out after a brief downpour.
  #13  
Old 08-20-2019, 04:00 PM
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No fucking question that this is true.

I get that you are pointing out to me that I am not the hero of this story, and in fact, I am kind of a shithead.

I know this. Why it makes me happy is that rarely do I get to use my worst qualities in such a rewarding way.

And I was happy. I was smiling like an idiot when I walked out of Target. The encounter made my day.
Well, if you're happy about behing a shithead, I'm not wasting time anymore. Happy shitheading.
  #14  
Old 08-20-2019, 04:16 PM
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Well, if you're happy about behing a shithead, I'm not wasting time anymore. Happy shitheading.
I am. Thank you!

I am very sorry to have wasted your time. I know what an important job it must be going around and chastising people who are grateful for having you point out the flaws in their behavior.

I’m sorry to have kept you from it and deprived all those other people of your critical judgement.
  #15  
Old 08-20-2019, 04:16 PM
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I would get out my credit card, wave it wand-like over the lunchbox, and tell the kid it was paid for.

Then make my escape.
  #16  
Old 08-20-2019, 04:17 PM
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It never fails. Everytime I go in Wal-Mart it is the day the daycare down the street closed early, before nap time. And Mother can't just take said nap-less tyke home and put them to bed. Oh, NO, we must stop at wally-world and NOT buy nap-less sweetie a toy. Happens every time I go in there.
Now, I'm not a happy shopper. I wanna get my stuff and go. I'm not there to visit anyone or get a pleasant feelings watching young families get their stuff. The screaming babes and kids just sets my teeth on edge. Come on, Mom, take the kid home. It's easy to know when is feeding and napping time of your own children. Don't go shopping at that time. Easy-peasy.
I'll give you a pass if it's an emergency or you're picking up meds. Don't abuse it.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 08-20-2019 at 04:18 PM.
  #17  
Old 08-20-2019, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Hampshire View Post
A week or so back I got to witness one of those miniature disturbers of the peace.
We were at the local zoo and while the wife and kids were poking around the gift shop I decided to give my feet a rest outside and across from the monkey exhibit.
Someone's screaming offspring, not belonging to the zoo or it's inhabitants, must have had their eyes on something at the gift shop as the mother was desperately trying to lead her away from it and not having much success. Mom couldn't grasp the squirmy over sized sack of potatoes not so much because of the squirmyness but because of the size of the kid. And this wasn't the "inherited genes" over sized kid but more of the "if we don't feed her McDonald's for every meal as she requests, she'll simply starve herself to death" variety.
Anyways, the kid is wailing away and takes up position close to the handrail of the exhibit. The mom reaches out an open hand again requesting cooperation and with that the kid yells "no!" and violently jerks her head back promptly smacking the back of it good and hard against the handrail. The over-tired screams translated as "I want! I want!" now become screams of pain translated as "Oh my god! Which one of those monkeys just kicked me!"
The kid instantly becomes more receptive to mom as she scoops her up and whisks her away and I see everyone around give a little smile like the sun just came out after a brief downpour.
These are indeed the moments that make one believe that perhaps the world makes sense after all.
  #18  
Old 08-20-2019, 04:21 PM
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Your life may be easier if you'd just buy the kid his damn lunchbox.
No. Never negotiate with terrorists.
  #19  
Old 08-20-2019, 05:09 PM
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"Tell your child not to talk to me the way he did."
"Please teach him not to jump in front of people like that! I almost stepped on him! He could have been badly hurt. Or a frail person could have fallen over him and broken a hip. It's really dangerous behavior."

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I am very sorry to have wasted your time. I know what an important job it must be going around and chastising people
Isn't that what you're bragging about doing?
  #20  
Old 08-20-2019, 05:17 PM
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"Please teach him not to jump in front of people like that! I almost stepped on him! He could have been badly hurt. Or a frail person could have fallen over him and broken a hip. It's really dangerous behavior."
I gotta disagree--all that does is imply that it's okay for a child to be raised as whiny and demanding, and that it's permissible to wander away from mother and beg from strangers, as long as widdle shnookums doesn't get hurt. That does nobody any favors. Sure, it could've been handled differently, but if I'm accosted by a brat -- and I'm using that term in it's truest sense -- while trying to shop, I can't promise how nice I'd be either.
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Old 08-20-2019, 05:28 PM
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While the OP was under no obligation to have any sort of empathy for the mother in his situation...he could of. Just a thought.
  #22  
Old 08-20-2019, 05:36 PM
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While the OP was under no obligation to have any sort of empathy for the mother in his situation...he could of. Just a thought.
I'm personally incapable of having empathy for a woman who thinks it's okay to allow their monster child to accost strangers without interference or even apparently caring. Empathy requires me to understand what's going on their heads.

I mean, I can understand not dignifying the brat's stupid demands with a response - it's unfriendly to bystanders but "no reward of attention for awful behavior" is at least on paper a semireasonable parenting approach. But when your response to the kid accosting others is to wander off to other aisles, I can no longer get inside your head.
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Old 08-20-2019, 05:45 PM
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Maybe you shouldn't go to Wal-Mart, if you don't want to be confronted by bratty kids.




What? That's approximately what Dopers told me when I posted about a kid shrieking in an ice cream parlor.

Last edited by Two Many Cats; 08-20-2019 at 05:46 PM.
  #24  
Old 08-20-2019, 05:50 PM
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Maybe you shouldn't go to Wal-Mart, if you don't want to be confronted by bratty kids.




What? That's approximately what Dopers told me when I posted about a kid shrieking in an ice cream parlor.
Hey, I never run into bratty kids when I go to Walmart.

Admittedly that would be at 11pm, but that probably doesn't have anything to do with it.
  #25  
Old 08-20-2019, 06:02 PM
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I'm guessing most of the respondents to this thread have never been the mother of 2 toddlers. The shopping has to get done, and sometimes the kids are going to scream. Sometimes the little darlings are going to run amuck. In keeping with tradition, if you don't like it, don't shop at Walmart or any grocery store at all. In fact, use delivery service.
  #26  
Old 08-20-2019, 06:23 PM
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I'm guessing most of the respondents to this thread have never been the mother of 2 toddlers. The shopping has to get done, and sometimes the kids are going to scream. Sometimes the little darlings are going to run amuck.
Sometimes the kids have low blood sugar. Sometimes the kids are autistic. Sometimes the parents have mental illness.

All kinds of shit can be going on that can't be solved by some smug sneer.
  #27  
Old 08-20-2019, 06:37 PM
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I'm guessing most of the respondents to this thread have never been the mother of 2 toddlers. The shopping has to get done, and sometimes the kids are going to scream. Sometimes the little darlings are going to run amuck. In keeping with tradition, if you don't like it, don't shop at Walmart or any grocery store at all. In fact, use delivery service.
Parents of out of control toddlers shouldn't take exception to others telling said toddlers "no" when appropriate.
  #28  
Old 08-20-2019, 06:40 PM
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Even if you stipulate that Mom is making bad choices as a parent, how does this kindergartener need some stranger to sneer at him? If Mom is the caricature Scylla thinks, this kid probably gets plenty of that. A moment of levity and grace—an anecdote told to Mom about an annoying thing your kids once did, say—is the kind of thing that might actually help the situation. If you cannot manage that, a polite no, ignoring the kid, entertaining the kid...any of those would be a fine and normal thing for an adult to do.
  #29  
Old 08-20-2019, 06:45 PM
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I would get out my credit card, wave it wand-like over the lunchbox, and tell the kid it was paid for.

Then make my escape.
I suspect that wouldn't be kind to the checkout clerk.

I thought of calling store personnel; but I decided it wouldn't be kind to them, either.

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Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
And Mother can't just take said nap-less tyke home and put them to bed.
Actually, it's quite possible that she can't. Because she needs to do the shopping sometime; and she's not allowed to take tyke home, put tyke to bed, and then leave tyke there and go shopping. And there may not be any other adult who can be there to watch tyke.

Mother may not have room in the budget for additional hours of childcare; or to buy toys every time she goes to the store. And it may not be a great idea to buy kids toys every time they go to the store, anyway.

-- I have been known to make faces at crying kids in stores. Not scary faces, though; silly ones (or at least intended that way.) This sometimes works, at least momentarily, if only by startling the kid out of the crying fit. I've never had this startle a child further into a crying fit; if it did, I'd stop immediately.

I suppose I could have tried making a speech at a kid demanding lunchbox about how I carried my lunch to school in a paper bag. Sometimes a used paper bag, at that. (Perfectly true. Has nothing whatsoever to do with whether that particular kid needs a lunchbox, of course.) -- I am now imagining a scenario in which I sit down right there in the aisle in front of the kid and start telling a story about bringing lunch to school in 1956. That might have gotten the mother to pay attention. Or the kid to turn around and run back to Mom. Or I suppose it might have gotten store security called on all three of us, by some other poor person who was just trying to get down the aisle.
  #30  
Old 08-20-2019, 06:47 PM
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I would get out my credit card, wave it wand-like over the lunchbox, and tell the kid it was paid for.

Then make my escape.
Classic! But I'd wait around to see the consequences.
  #31  
Old 08-20-2019, 06:49 PM
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My standard response to similar situations is to softly ask the child whether they had brought their money, noting, when they replied that they had no money, that the person who has the money chooses what will go home.
I have not been 100% successful silencing the child, (more like 98%), but I always have gotten a "thank you" from the parent. I refrain from vicious scowls or raised voices.
YMMV
Some parents need to be trained, but those parents are also not my children and I do not feel the need to take on their education.
  #32  
Old 08-20-2019, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Left Hand of Dorkness View Post
Sometimes the kids have low blood sugar. Sometimes the kids are autistic. Sometimes the parents have mental illness.

All kinds of shit can be going on that can't be solved by some smug sneer.
And sometimes kids who look old enough to know better are actually babies who are big for their age. Ask me how I know this.

Toddlers making demands in the store is a tale as old as time. Ignoring them is a viable option, although it may result in some temporary noise pollution. It’s a sad fact of life that this happens from time to time. The OP didn’t teach the kid of lesson or get him to be quiet; he just intimidated him to the point of crying. And then faulted the mother for being disturbed by a grown man doing that. Bravo, I guess?

Last edited by you with the face; 08-20-2019 at 07:06 PM.
  #33  
Old 08-20-2019, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
Parents of out of control toddlers shouldn't take exception to others telling said toddlers "no" when appropriate.
If you say "no" in a quiet, calm voice, absolutely, that's unobjectionable.

But if you get down in my kid's face, sneer at the kid, and sharply say "No!" you're being--well, let's head over to the pit thread to finish that sentence.

Look, I say "no" to kids all the goddamned time. It's literally my job. I say "no" to kids who are entitled, "no" to kids who are autistic, "no" to kids who are PTSD-afflicted, "no" to kids who are ODD, "no" to kids who are ADHD, "no" to kids who are well-adjusted darlings having an off day.

I never get down in a kid's face, sneer at them, and say "no!" in a way calculated to make them feel like shit. Because I'm the grownup in the situation.
  #34  
Old 08-20-2019, 07:18 PM
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Parents of out of control toddlers shouldn't take exception to others telling said toddlers "no" when appropriate.
True. It's standard advice for parents to ignore and even walk away from a tantrum until it gets to the danger-to-oneself-and-others stage. Strangers are another matter and a good lesson in not being the center of the universe. I seem to do well with the unsmiling gaze. It's not even a judgmental glare.

Yelling back at a screaming child just proves that you are the same.
  #35  
Old 08-20-2019, 07:58 PM
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And I make my escape.
This was a really great story, except this genre customarily ends with some variation on "everyone clapped."
  #36  
Old 08-20-2019, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Left Hand of Dorkness View Post

But if you get down in my kid's face, sneer at the kid, and sharply say "No!" you're being--well, let's head over to the pit thread to finish that sentence.
I read this and thought “pit thread? Really?”

Then I looked.

I had a big smile when I walked out of Target.

It’s bigger now.
  #37  
Old 08-20-2019, 08:04 PM
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Checks out.
  #38  
Old 08-20-2019, 09:10 PM
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I can't help myself.

What five things do you buy every Tuesday at Target?
  #39  
Old 08-20-2019, 09:21 PM
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Cool
  #40  
Old 08-20-2019, 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Lubricious Integument View Post
I can't help myself.

What five things do you buy every Tuesday at Target?
Nicorette, fiber gummies, ,Mio, peanut butter pretzels, and Propel.



All the basic food groups.
  #41  
Old 08-21-2019, 06:12 AM
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This was a really great story, except this genre customarily ends with some variation on "everyone clapped."
And that lunchbox?
An Albert Einstein lunchbox.
  #42  
Old 08-21-2019, 06:54 AM
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I would get out my credit card, wave it wand-like over the lunchbox, and tell the kid it was paid for.
Or buy the lunchbox, in full view of the kid...and then take it home for yourself.
  #43  
Old 08-21-2019, 09:24 AM
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Or buy the lunchbox, in full view of the kid...and then take it home for yourself.
Screaming "I BUY LUNCHBOX!!" the whole way out the store...
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  #44  
Old 08-21-2019, 09:25 AM
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...and I'm praying it was a Pittsburgh Steelers lunchbox...
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  #45  
Old 08-21-2019, 10:09 AM
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As a store cashier, I know I'm going to encounter this scene at least once every shift. I ask the child to see the item, ask the parent if they are buying it. If not, I just put it under the counter.

I notice that most parents who have out of control kids are out of control themselves. They are too busy looking for their right credit card while gabbing on the cell phone to do anything about their little darlings.

And the ones that say "Don't discipline my child." Lady, if your child gets behind the cash register and starts pushing buttons, you bet your dumb ass I'm going to tell him to get out from there. And when you complained to the manager, what did he say. "Oh. So she was doing her job." Better in my book was the father who, when I told his two daughters they could not be behind the register, said in a no-nonsense tone "You get out from behind there. Haven't I told you not to do that."

I have a system for dealing with loud crying children. I go up to them and look them straight in the face, and ask "Who is making all that noise. I know it's not you because you're too little to make all that noise." Then I look at the parent and say "How do little people make so much noise? I couldn't be that loud if you put a gun to my head." I don't know why, but that usually shuts the kid up.
  #46  
Old 08-21-2019, 02:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scylla View Post
I’m kind of that shithead sort of person that thinks he is being admirably frank by saying out loud things that shouldn’t be said. Sorry.

As for being proud of my look? Well, maybe you are really good at Golf or swimming, or at the top of your profession. I go with what I got.





It felt goooood.







No fucking question that this is true.

I get that you are pointing out to me that I am not the hero of this story, and in fact, I am kind of a shithead.

I know this. Why it makes me happy is that rarely do I get to use my worst qualities in such a rewarding way.

And I was happy. I was smiling like an idiot when I walked out of Target. The encounter made my day.
Moderating: if you want to celebrate being a self-professed shithead you won’t be doing it in MPSIMS where posters can’t respond in kind. I would have moved this to the Pit but since there is already a thread there I’m just going to close this one.
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