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Old 01-12-2020, 11:57 AM
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Paltrow introduces vagina scented candle


Have we sniffed this out yet?

https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/gw...scented-candle

Gwyneth Paltrow's $75 vagina scented candles are already sold out. The scent is based on, "...geranium, citrusy bergamot and cedar". That's one herbaceous lady!

Dennis
  #2  
Old 01-12-2020, 12:04 PM
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Ah the sent of stale smoke and dead tuna.....
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Old 01-12-2020, 12:40 PM
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Ah the sent of stale smoke and dead tuna.....
90% of the comments for this article make the same quip. Quite a few relate the scent to Bill and Hillary.

Yes, a silly story - but I thought we'd be better here :-(
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Old 01-12-2020, 12:57 PM
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Yes, a silly story - but I thought we'd be better here :-(
Goofy lady markets goofy product--how can we be better than that? Unless you mean more creative in our insults...I've got nothing, anyone else want to have a go?
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Old 01-12-2020, 12:59 PM
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I had to reread the thread title a couple of times because I kept parsing it as something more directly physical and thinking, "what, unless she did it on YouTube, who cares?"
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:00 PM
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That should be good to use with my fleshlight. More authentic, no?
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by The Stainless Steel Rat View Post
Goofy lady markets goofy product--how can we be better than that? Unless you mean more creative in our insults...I've got nothing, anyone else want to have a go?
Will "burning the candle at both ends" take on a new meaning?
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:14 PM
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Well, I certainly don't have that much knowledge of Ms Paltrow to say that it doesn't smell like geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar. Maybe she's a dryad or wood nymph. That would actually explain a lot.
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:24 PM
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90% of the comments for this article make the same quip... but I thought we'd be better here :-(
I'd say the people who are making those comments aren't exactly finding the highest-caliber sex partner.
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:24 PM
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I hate to think of the sweatshops these candles came out of. Otoh, they are making a fortune streaming on PornHub.
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:25 PM
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I'd say the people who are making those comments aren't exactly finding the highest-caliber sex partner.
What does one have to do with the other and are you sleeping with a Beyonce?
  #12  
Old 01-12-2020, 01:32 PM
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Bodily aromas are not what I want when lighting a candle. Altho' I was given a pumpkin spice scented one that smells exactly like poo when it's lit.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 01-12-2020 at 01:33 PM.
  #13  
Old 01-12-2020, 01:33 PM
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Bodily aromas are not what I want when lighting a candle. Altho' I was given a pumpkin spice scented one that smells exactly like poo when it's lit.
Blame the candle!!!
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:37 PM
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She's a copycat.
NSFW.

Last edited by running coach; 01-12-2020 at 01:38 PM.
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:40 PM
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Let me know when she starts selling lollipops.
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:42 PM
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Let me know when she starts selling lollipops.
Anyone want to invest in a weed/vagina lollipop startup? This is a great idea.
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:42 PM
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Has anyone checked the store site for geranium-infused artisanal cedar wood sex toys?
  #18  
Old 01-12-2020, 01:48 PM
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Has anyone checked the store site for geranium-infused artisanal cedar wood sex toys?
I first read it as "germanium-infused" and I thought, "That's pretty tech-y - a semiconductor-lined tunnel-of-love scent." Then I saw it's just a flower. Big deal.
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:51 PM
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Don't people realize when they're being trolled?
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:57 PM
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Don't people realize when they're being trolled?
Probably not. From the OPs link:

Quote:
As the product description reads: “This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP -- the two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, ‘Uhhh ... this smells like a vagina’ -- but evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent.”
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Old 01-12-2020, 01:57 PM
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Altho' I was given a pumpkin spice scented one that smells exactly like poo when it's lit.
I'll skip Thanksgiving Dinner at your place, Thank You Very Much.
  #22  
Old 01-12-2020, 02:25 PM
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I first read it as "germanium-infused" and I thought, "That's pretty tech-y - a semiconductor-lined tunnel-of-love scent." Then I saw it's just a flower. Big deal.
Well the germanium-infused ones provide smoother distortion, but they're temperature sensitive.
  #23  
Old 01-12-2020, 02:47 PM
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Pics or it didn't happen.
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  #24  
Old 01-12-2020, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Happy Lendervedder View Post
I'd say the people who are making those comments aren't exactly finding the highest-caliber sex partner.
Highest caliber? Wait, I thought size didn't matter.
  #25  
Old 01-12-2020, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
Bodily aromas are not what I want when lighting a candle. Altho' I was given a pumpkin spice scented one that smells exactly like poo when it's lit.
I wouldn't know as I have never lit poo on fire.

Dennis
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Old 01-12-2020, 06:02 PM
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I wouldn't know as I have never lit poo on fire.

Dennis
You so funny! ()
  #27  
Old 01-12-2020, 07:37 PM
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A big no-thank-you to Gwyneth Paltrow's New-Car-Smell In A Can.
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Old 01-12-2020, 07:42 PM
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Yeah, anything from her 'In A Can' is gonna smell like shit.
  #29  
Old 01-12-2020, 07:46 PM
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Pics or it didn't happen.
Will this do?


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I wouldn't know as I have never lit poo on fire.
Technicalities, schmenicalities. You did light the paper bag containing poo on fire, on the porch, before ringing the doorbell & running, din'cha.
  #30  
Old 01-12-2020, 07:59 PM
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Gwyneth's obsessional woo is getting out of hand.

And Netflix is abetting it.
  #31  
Old 01-12-2020, 08:01 PM
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Paltrow's Toy Story (courtesy "Robot Chicken")
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Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 01-12-2020 at 08:03 PM.
  #32  
Old 01-12-2020, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by The Stainless Steel Rat View Post
Goofy lady markets goofy product--how can we be better than that? Unless you mean more creative in our insults...I've got nothing, anyone else want to have a go?
Is it goofy or just goopy?

Sorry if trying to have a laugh offends some people. But I anticipate there is one common issue that may be discussed in this thread that will infuriate many people and I just wanted to try to have a little fun while that still may be possible.
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Old 01-12-2020, 08:50 PM
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*spraying "Summer's Eve" all over this thread"


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Old 01-12-2020, 09:19 PM
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Gwyneth's obsessional woo is getting out of hand.
On the bright side, this is just an expensive scented candle with an edgy name. Some of her wootastic stuff is either directly risky or might keep people from pursuing effective health care.

Fun link, btw. It earned a couple solid laughs.
  #35  
Old 01-12-2020, 09:52 PM
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Goop is evidence that humanity has run its course.
  #36  
Old 01-12-2020, 10:11 PM
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Goop is evidence that humanity has run its course.
Esruoc sti nur sah ytinamuh taht ecnedive si poog.

That works too.

Woo.

ETA: Did you ever notice that Woo-Woo mirrored correctly looks like Moo-Moo? Me neither.

Last edited by RioRico; 01-12-2020 at 10:13 PM.
  #37  
Old 01-12-2020, 10:21 PM
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Has anyone else chosen that whatever she says is irrelevant and you'd still sleep with her?j
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Old 01-12-2020, 10:45 PM
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One wonders whose vaginal odor she's trying to emulate.

Spoiled for obvious reasons if you check it out:

  #39  
Old 01-12-2020, 11:48 PM
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Yay, expired beer and rotting fish.
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  #40  
Old 01-13-2020, 12:35 AM
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Pics or it didn't happen.
Okay, ya perv, here's yer pussy candle pic.

Oh, and these too.
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  #41  
Old 01-13-2020, 01:05 AM
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One possible reason why Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina might be perfume scented:

Paltrow recommends steam-cleaning your vagina.

On the other hand, you may need to steam-clean your vagina after using Gwyneth Paltrow's vaginal jade eggs, which are porous and can house bacteria.

If you are not sufficiently 'woke' for Gwyneth Paltrow's products, you could try something else she recommends: Dr. Junger’s Implant O-Rama At-Home Coffee Enemas (quart-size).
  #42  
Old 01-13-2020, 01:09 AM
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Okay, ya perv, here's yer pussy candle pic.

Oh, and these too.
I love The Dope. Cats somehow always win in the end.
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  #43  
Old 01-13-2020, 01:10 AM
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Paltrow recommends steam-cleaning your vagina.

To get the wrinkles out?

(Oh GAWD, that was bad bad bad even for me!)


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  #44  
Old 01-13-2020, 02:18 AM
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I enjoyed in immensely ~VOW!
  #45  
Old 01-13-2020, 09:54 AM
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Ah the sent of stale smoke and dead tuna.....
Please be advised that I have struggled with the wording of the following post because I fear there is a large possibility that I could get into trouble by posting this.
Several times I decided it would be best just to forget about posting this as the possible uproar would just not be worth the risk. Specifically, I fear it could offend people - especially women - and I really do not want to do that - honest and for true.
However this thread alludes to one issue that has bothered me for a long time and I feel a strong urge to finally ask for some help in the understanding.


I'm having a great deal of difficulty trying to find a way to present this issue in a sensitive way and warn people they may find it offensive. So, please be advised that if you are uncomfortable discussing sensitive issues regarding sexual activity or the function or problems with human body parts involved in sexual activity, please bypass this spoiler box and please do not read this post.

SPOILER:


I'm making this post because it concerns an issue that has plagued me for many years and although I have tried to discuss this issue in other places (not on this message board), I have always regretted trying to discuss this because it seems so likely to result in a whole lot of grief.

I once knew a lady intimately and every time we engaged in sexual intercourse the room seemed to fill with a terrible smell that was like fish but much worse - maybe like rotten tuna. So when I saw someone had made a poste in this thread about "rotting tuna", it brought back these unpleasant memories.

Then I heard a song. I'm not exactly positive of the name of the song or the name of the group that sang it. But I believe one of those names may have been "Hot Tuna". One of the lines of the song (I think it may have been the first line) went like this, "Now what's that smell like fish now baby? I really would like to know."

I once started a thread on another board using a different ID and asked about this reference to fish. The result was a howl of protest and many indignant protests by people claiming I had intentionally tried to offend them (trolling). I swear that was not true. I was just looking for some kind of explanation.

Someone once told me that smell is the result of a yeast infection and is quite common and that was the reason for the line in that song. They also said that is the reason why so many people joke about this but are very careful to remain secretive about it.

However, my opinion is that if this is a medical issue, it would be best to let people know so they can go see a doctor and get help to solve this problem. Is that not the reasonable thing to do?

Does anyone here know the truth about this issue and yeast infections?

I somehow suspect that Gwenneth Paltrow may just be interested in making a fast buck by selling her Goop to people - possible with the knowledge - but maybe without the knowledge whether a scented candle would help anything other than Gwenneth's bank balance.

  #46  
Old 01-13-2020, 10:10 AM
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Paltrow and her GOOP bullshit is a punchline for pretty much everyone but the imbezils and ultramaroons.
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  #47  
Old 01-13-2020, 10:32 AM
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Further to my above post, I found some links to the music groug, "Hot Tuna" and the lyrics to that song. Here are the links:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_Tuna
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_Tuna_(album)
  #48  
Old 01-13-2020, 11:39 AM
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Nobody appears to have mentioned the most outrageous thing about this candle.

IT SELLS FOR SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS!!!!

$75 !!!

Paltrow's customers have a lot of dough to spend.
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Old 01-13-2020, 11:43 AM
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Nobody appears to have mentioned the most outrageous thing about this candle.

IT SELLS FOR SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS!!!!

$75 !!!
It's right in the OP.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
Paltrow's customers have a lot of dough to spend.
More money than brains.
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  #50  
Old 01-13-2020, 12:35 PM
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More money than brains.
It's the best market to sell to! And there's another one born every minute.

Apparently the candles have already sold out, and Goop is worth $250 million, according to this article:

Why is Gwyneth Paltrow selling a candle that smells like her vagina?
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